Tell me a story... one with lots of romance, a prince charming who comes and saves the day, a princess more beautiful than a flawless diamond and well, you get the idea. Unfortunately, we do not live in a world full of happy endings. We live where reality was enforced upon a simple species known as humanity. My name is Ranma and I was a painter…Welcome to the cesspool that is my reality.

My tale is kind of a long one so please bear with me. Let's see, I started out life in perishing poverty with no mother, brother, love, hope or a kind word. I had a cruel no good drunken bastard, old man who called me son. I spent a large part of my innocence scowering lonely places for nuts and barriers. My chief competitors turned out to be tradesmen looking for dye materials for their paints. They used me to get the odd berry in the briar patch. I deduced their secrets and beat them at their own game.

Soon it was me that was making and selling the dyes. I knew where the better berries grew and hunger is a formidable teacher. It wasn't long before I began calling myself an artist instead of a house painter which brought in more coin. More coin brought more jobs AND more pressure to excel beyond the just painting that right color of puce.

Flushed with talent, painting old biddies' portraits was the way to go. From village to town I roamed and my art proceeded me. Welcomed everywhere I thought why should I go see my patrons? They can come see me. And they did. And they became a pest.

I moved out to where only the rich could seek me. A place deserted and unwelcoming that weeded out those who were not serious about my superior talent. Besides I didn't need any urchins stealing my berry secrets or mucking about the odd briar patch. They don't have what it takes anyway.

As for the "old man," he hated coming around. There were no wenches or wine or music divine to distract him. That made the place damn near perfect. The trouble is when you are THE exceptional artist of your age; the world really does beat a path to your door. Mine was beaten down by a kinglet name Tendo.

So here it is 1134 and I, Ranma Saotome, have what I really want. No old man hanging around to remind me of my origins, a small cottage outside Tendo's kingdom of insignificance that is surrounded by beautiful forest and wildlife galore.

Life was tolerable until King Tendo decided he had to have me. Then it began the constant pestering, stalking, and interrupting of my work.

"Aright, you win!" I yelled to the king when he asked me for what seemed like the thousandth time, "I just can't take it any longer so I'll come to your castle and live with you. But under one condition… when I am working you and everyone else will leave me alone until told otherwise."

King Tendo agreed almost immediately and before I knew it I was living in the castle. Time passed without disturbance and I got use to the royal life. King Tendo had me create masterpiece after masterpiece and when I completed them he praised me as though I was his own flesh and blood. Then one gorgeous night, we were just sitting at the large wooden dining room table, drinking tea and discussing the next art piece that the king wanted created. Then out of the blue he said he wanted me to marry his daughter, Akane Tendo! Now don't get me wrong, Princess Akane is beautiful in personality and appearance but I knew all too well that I…both of us were just to young and inexperienced in love. So, I had said no. Displeased with my answer the king threw me into the dungeon to "think" it over.

For weeks I was treated like a rotting prisoner until I did as the king demanded. And me, being as stubborn as I am, had refused and refused to wed his daughter until finally King Tendo came to me, fury in his eyes, and said, "If you do not do this you will rot and die down here like the scum before you had. So just give it up. Marry Akane! You'll love her if you just-"

"I cannot." I interrupted without making eye contact, "It's too uncommon for a male of my standards to marry inside the royal bloodline. You must understand."

"Well I don't! I'm practically handing you wealth beyond your wildest dreams and your throwing it back in my face without a second thought! Either you are a mad man or you just have no common sense." And with that, he left me in silence.

I had no desire to die, but I had an even greater desire for not marrying the princess. I was lost confused and for the first time in my life…scared. It wasn't so much as me being scared of dying it was more of me being forced into a prepared wedding. All my life I had freedom. You would catch me doing nothing but travel and do as I would as a child. Even when I was a full grown man I still had the passion for adventure. And here I am now; I look awful my long black locks of hair grew slick and silky, my perfect gentleman's suit had been torn up and I had not been fed in three straight days so I was a twig. How did I go from being a successful creative genius to a foul rotting prisoner?

For a while I pondered this until I finally made up my mind. Without a second thought I stood from the old chair my half lifeless body had been in and turned to the guard, who was sitting at a polished table vertical of me eating a red apple, requesting permission to see King Tendo. With much hast the large guard unlocked the door and practically dragged me through the narrow corridors and into the throne room.

"King Tendo! King Tendo!" The guard cried in a deep husky voice as we entered the room, "The good painter has made up his mind!" King Tendo immediately stopped talking to princess Akane who, to my surprise, was in the room as well. The guard quietly brought me to my knees as the king made his way over to my current position. So, looking into the brown eyes of my king with my sad blue ones I spoke loud and clear bowing my head ever so slightly in respect, "Sire, I would never have dreamed of being asked by the king himself to marry his youngest daughter, but I kneel here before you now excepting with great honor to take her majesties hand in marriage. Thank you for giving me the honor…now may I please stop sleeping with the rats?"

The king was silent as his eyes grew narrow and I could be wrong but I thought I saw a glimmer of tears. The king slowly stood up from his chair and walked toward me. He placed his hands on my shoulders and took a moment to look at my face with much density I could pea myself, but I held it together. His lips tugged into a slight smirk as he pulled me into a hug whispering words of glee. I was shocked at the abrupt embrace but hugged him as well as not to be rude. However, with my head placed on his right shoulder blade I had a good view of princess Akane who, just realizing now, had the look of pure horror written across her facial features.

A/N:

I'm so excited for this story! I got the idea from a short story we had to write in English class and thought you all might enjoy it. Btw, sorry I haven't updated "Care to join the Insane?" and I'm extra sorry that I left you guys off on a cliffhanger, but I have no clue how I'm going to explain why no one but Grubbs can see Kernel. I'm seriously debating whether I should just delete the story and try again. -_-

Well, enjoy this story while I deal with that problem….

Bye then!

-UnraisedClock