"30 Minutes"
Out
of sight Do we
run? Can we
fly? In the
moment 30 minutes,
a blink of an eye 30 minutes,
to whisper your name
Out of mind
Out of time
To decide
Should I hide?
For the rest
Of my life
Do I stay?
We could lose
We could fail
It takes
To make plans
Or mistakes
30 minutes, to alter our lives
30 minutes, to
make up my mind
30 minutes, to finally decide
30 minutes, to shoulder the blame
30
minutes, of bliss, thirty lies
30 minutes, to finally
decide
Nikki looked at the clock and realised that she had only 30 minutes of the weekend left, 30 minutes to decide what she wanted to do with her life. Go with the woman she loved or stay with her family. On Friday Doug had somehow found out about her and Diane and had given her an ultimatum. He was going to take the kids camping for the weekend and when he got back at 7pm on Sunday night she had to tell him what she was going to do. Stay or leave. Now she looked at the clock; 6.30pm.
30 minutes, a blink of an eye
30 minutes, to alter
our lives
30 minutes, to make up my mind
30 minutes, to finally
decide
In the moment it takes
To make plans or mistakes
She couldn't remember when she had started to like P.C Diane Noble in that way. She wasn't in love, mind you. Although she could easily recall their first kiss, the one that had started it all.
They had had a long shift, it was a double one. As when they had finished their first one, they were all heading out the door when they got called back. Nikki had just finished her papers and was walking around the station to make sure that all her officers had gone home to get sleep, when she had walked into the bathroom on the third floor. She had walked in and seen Diane looking exhausted but still awake.
"Are you okay Diane?"
Diane had jumped at her voice and looked around.
"Yeah I am fine, just tired."
She didn't know why but Nikki moved forward and gave Diane a hug.
Diane turned around into the hug and accepted it. After a moment they broke apart, but their arms were still supporting each other.
As if in slow motion they had leaned in and Nikki had felt Diane's lips on her own. She had kissed her back on impulse, as if it was a natural thing to do. Only after a few minutes of kissing, did they break apart and realize what they had done. Nikki left then and there. Over the next week she had been consumed with guilt, but had a week later again kissed Diane and a few weeks later when they had first slept together, that had concreted their relationship.
Although now she had to decide, she had thought about this all weekend. One moment she had decided to stay with the kids and Doug, then a minute later she would think about Diane and about those times they had spent together and she couldn't imagine not spending more time with her. Yet she knew that if she chose Doug, she couldn't do that. She had to decide but how was she going to come to a decision in the next 25 minutes when she hadn't been able to come up with a straight answer over the whole weekend?
The minutes slowly, painfully ticked away, every minute closer to her having to make the decision. A thought, a memory crossed her mind of her and Diane one time when they had been watching a movie and Diane had been curled up next to her. At this Nikki smiled, the ease that she felt with Diane was something that she loved about her. Then she remembered the kids. Could she do this to the kids? Yet a small voice in her head was screaming at her. It would be better for her kids to have separated yet happy parents then parents that were together but unhappy. This she could agree with, she had seen enough as a police officer to support this notion.
Nikki looked at the clock and sighed, five minutes to go. Did she have her mind made up? It seemed so, but then could she do this to the kids? Doug hadn't even entered her thoughts. Even though the time had gone so slowly the next five minutes seemed to speed up and before she knew it she heard the car pull up and a minute later she heard the kids coming in the front door. When they saw her they yelled and talked at the top of their voices, telling her about their weekend. On seeing the kids she felt a powerful surge of love. After a minute of talking to them she looked up. Standing there was Doug. What did she feel?
After another minute the kids went to their room to put away their things and Doug spoke up.
"What have you decided Nikki?" His voice lacked any emotion and it was at that moment she Nikki knew for certain what she needed to do.
"I'm sorry Doug, I love Diane."
30 minutes, a blink of an eye
30 minutes, to alter
our lives
30 minutes, to make up my mind
30 minutes, to finally
decide