Author's notes:
This is a reupload of my story originally published over three and a half years ago. As with most good stories, it went unfinished and became all but forgotten as real life's responsibilities caught up to me. A sad fact, considering that this epic of mine was and still is very dear to me, and was left very near its conclusion. But all good stories deserve to reach said conclusion, and this one is no exception.
I am uploading it under a different account for reasons that I won't go into here. I can offer no guarantee that I am indeed the original author, although hopefully my writing style speaks for itself.
The story is rated M in anticipation of foul language and graphic scenes, It is a the result of a restless night of pondering on the stories and elements which I love, and being given the appropriate push to finally write one of my own. It is a yaoi/shounen-ai, meaning it shall explore male-male relationships; if this makes you uncomfortable, then read no further.
For now, the story shall be told from Goten's perspective, but may change in later chapters. Flashbacks will be used in the form of entire chapters; as such, the story will develop in a nonlinear format. I figure these are things I should mention so as to not confuse people. Just pay close attention to the mention of ages and situations and there should be no problem figuring out what's happening when.
This is my first story, and my first yaoi one at that. All that said, please read, review, and enjoy.
Disclaimer:
The usual disclaimer.. these characters are not my property, any similarities in names or events to actual people is purely coincidental.
Chapter One: Reminiscent Morning
For the first time since Dende knows when, I woke up naturally before the sun had risen. For a little over a year I've depended on the buzzing on my alarm piercing the silence of night to bring me out of my peaceful slumber, no longer having my mother to practically break down my door. If it wasn't the alarm that woke me, it was the sound of music blaring, the avid shouting of partygoers or the lustful shouts of sex in the air. Weekends were the worst in those dorms; ah, the wonders of college living. It was a hard adjustment for me, particularly after the eighteen years spent in the quiet forests far beyond the outskirts of any sign of civilization.
The day I graduated high school, my mother Chi-Chi made all the arrangements for me to go and study very far away. Far too much of my childhood had been squandered sparring, running around and generally wasting time with what she called a "horrible influence on her baby boy." If I ever had any hope of becoming a successful academic while marrying young and giving her the many grandchildren she'd always dreamed of – in other words, follow in the footsteps of my perfect brother, Gohan – she would have to intervene, and that only meant keeping me as far away from him as possible.
The day I found out, I remember crying harder than I ever had before. More than when my dad left to train with that Uub kid for who knows how long. More than in the midst of that ordeal with Majin Buu when everyone around me was taken away, dropping like powerless flies against his awesome might. It wasn't that I resented my mother's choice or that I had any particular problem with fulfilling her one and only wish; it was the fact that all of it would occur without Trunks at my side.
For as long as I remember we have done everything together. Train, spar, talk, play, make mischief, save worlds… you name it. I suppose that ever-present proximity had its drawbacks, especially when I began to have feelings for him. It was a huge source of torture and confusion to me for the longest time. The life of a teenager, especially one having to constantly hide his true power from the world, was hard enough without having to question his own sexuality. I don't think I'm gay. The years Trunks and I went to school together, after our respective home-schooling, we both had normal relationships with girls. Well, I had the relationships, he had the one-night stands. But despite being envious of every single one of those girls he was with, I've never had feelings for any other male besides him. I tried convincing myself that it has something to do with Saiyan instinct, and something deep within my genes drew me to him and him alone. But I abandoned that fantasy upon realizing that the committed heterosexual relationships of every Saiyan on this planet disproved the theory. Vegeta and Bulma. Gohan and Videl. Father and Mother, despite his multiple deaths and disappearances. Trunks and… and anyone else but me.
A loud banging interrupted my train of thought. "Wake up, Goten!" yelled my mother from the other side of the door. "It's already 7:30!" Already? She always had a unique way of seeing things, from the time one should be up to what was a reasonable knocking volume. I began to muse over the old wake-up call, and how I didn't miss it one bit.
I had already been gone far too long, though. Too long for my taste, anyhow. I may have carried the burden of saving the world on my shoulders, but nothing compared to the newfound feeling of loneliness that came with being away from everyone I knew and cared about against my will. Mother giving me no mention of plans of bringing me back anytime soon, I gathered what little money I've managed to save up over the past year and bought a train ticket home as soon as my summer break started. Flying would have been too big a hassle if I had to bring all my things with me, especially since I hadn't flown once since I'd left.
It was the excitement of seeing Trunks that caused me to wake up so early. Since having arrived late the previous night, surprising my mother with my unannounced arrival, I spent the better part of the night awake in bed, remembering the each detail of the features and qualities I had fallen in love with: his flowing, lavender locks… his chiseled body... the way he teased me – although I always complained – on my brains, or lack thereof… his nickname for me, which was the closest I would ever come to his showing me any sort of affection; I was his Chibi, and I loved it. I wished we could be so much more.
In the time it took me to reminisce over all these things, the sun had already risen.
"Goten!" This time, Mother practically broke down the door. She may be human and appears frail, but part of me thinks that she has strength that rivals mine or my father's. I clambered out of bed, almost tripping over my suitcase and the many clothes scattered all over the floor. I made a mental note to leave most of it behind whenever I returned to school, as my dorm room granted little space for it. I finally opened the door; to my surprise, Mother was smiling. "Oh, Goten! I never get tired of seeing you!" she squeals as she wraps her arms around me. "I missed you so much. You've been gone for far too long."
I roll my eyes as I'm once again submitted to her smothering affections. As if I didn't get enough of this when I arrived yesterday. "If you missed me so much then maybe you shouldn't have sent me away," I grumbled.
My mother's embrace slacked as she pulled away. Had the bitter comment hurt her? "I'm only doing what's best for you, sweetie," she said as she cupped my face in her palm. I smacked it away.
"How is shipping me thousands of miles away from all my family and friends and leaving me with no form of communication helping me!" I screamed.
It appears that I've crossed the line. "Son Goten, how dare you speak to me that way! I am your mother and I know what's best for you and that's final!"
"Whatever. Don't blame me because you're irrational and you just don't want me around Trunks," I spat. Scratch that last thought, now I had crossed the line. I don't know if it was my calling her "irrational" or having dared to speak a word after she declared her statement was "final," but her delicate hand made her way across my face anyway, leaving a large red mark where she had struck. The thought about her strength popped back into my head; that slap hurt like hell.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw the vein that emerged on her temple, surely out of the mere mention of his name. "Don't you dare say that spoiled little brat's name, I don't want you to have anything to do with him!" she yelled. I was right.
I'd had enough. I walked past her, ignoring the look of utter shock sprawled across her face upon realizing that the great Chi-Chi, who had each of the Son men tightly wrapped around her little finger, had been disrespected so greatly by none other than her youngest son. "Where do you think you're going!" she yelled after me.
Again, I refused to acknowledge her, instead walking down the stairs of our tiny home, past the kitchen and out the door that I slammed behind me. I looked back to see that in my tantrum I had forced the door off its hinges; through the vacant frame I could see the breakfast banquet Mother had prepared for me. On the mere suggestion of food, my Saiyan appetite forced my stomach to emit a deep growl. Realizing I was hungry only served to further infuriate me.
I focused my ki and took to the skies, without any destination in mind. It was a strange feeling to have the wind rushing past my face and through my long, spiky locks once again. Since I had left for college I had used my power only once or twice. Between going to each of my seven classes, all the studying I needed to do to stay up to date in each of them and absorb all the information through what my best friend affectionately called my "thick skull," and working during any free moment and the entire weekend, I barely had time to breathe, much less train.
The last of these was the biggest source of frustration; it was hard enough being shipped away so far without having to think of the fact that my family was so poor that I had to work my ass off to make ends meet with this ridiculous arrangement we had. College was expensive enough without having to worry about the expenses that financed my meager living situation. I couldn't even afford a computer or a cell phone, and was consequentially quite possibly the only college student with no means of communication outside the people in his immediate vicinity. I felt pride in knowing everything I had was the result of hard work on my behalf, but I couldn't help but think about Trunks and how his entire life everything had been handed to him on a silver platter. Sometimes I wish he would help me out, but it would be too much to ask; even if he offered, I would still probably refuse.
Thoughts like these have been coursing my mind for the past year. At the end of each one, Trunks always pops into the picture somehow. Quit thinking about him so much, you dolt. But I couldn't help it, I loved him too much. If only he felt the same way. If only I had the courage to at least try to find out. But at what cost, facing rejection, having him never speak to me again? Each of those was infinitely worse than having lived with this constant frustration for the past five or so years.
"Goten?" I hear Trunks say distantly in back of my head. Wow, I'm so obsessed with him that I'm even starting to hear his voice. "Dende, is that really you, Chibi!" That time it was louder and almost sounded real. With a smack, I find myself falling to the ground with someone's arms tightly wrapped around me. I looked up to see long lavender locks falling down to meet my face. "Chibi, I missed you so much."
I had somehow ended up surrounded the by trademark domed buildings of the Capsule Corp, in the arms of my purple-haired prince. As I look into deep blue eyes, I think my heart skips a few beats.
To be continued. Please read and review.