"Uchiha…." Asuma and Kurenai exchanged looks as the wind blew, bells chiming near them. "Itachi." The figure to the left reached up and tossed his hat to the side, undoing the top of his cloak. The wind blew his hair and he looked as if he was doing a shampoo commercial. Kurenai stepped back with her eyebrows raised.
The figure beside Itachi spoke. "Ne, Itachi-San. You know them?" Itachi gave his companion a blank look. The unnamed one chuckled slightly. "Then I best get acquainted." With that, he reached up and knocked his hat off unceremoniously, revealing sickeningly blue skin and shark-like teeth. He grinned and the gills on his face became more pronounced. "Hoshigaki Kisame. Pleased to be acquainted."
Asuma's eye twitched. "You aren't acquainted."
Kisame raised a brow. "We'll see about that." He jumped back followed by his partner. "Ready, Itachi-San?"
Itachi gave him the famed Uchiha Glare©. "I really am not."
Kisame grinned his fishy grin. Get it, haha… "Ya, but Leader-San said 'Sari and Deidara are doing it too!" Itachi arched a brow. "Well…. They're the ones that each other wants." The corners of Itachi's lips twitched slightly. "Now, Are. You. Ready?"
Itachi gave a long, suffering sigh. "As you wish."
Kurenai blinked. She went to speak, but Asuma cut her off. "What're you two on about?"
Kisame grinned cockily. "This." With that, he threw his Akatsuki cloak off, Itachi following suite. Kurenai's eyes widened in horror, the ruby orbs darting from Itachi to Kisame and back again. Asuma covered his mouth and nose.
Kisame wore a fine pressed black suit with a blue shirt underneath. His tie was yellow and orange polka dotted. His shoes were black platform shoes. Itachi was the real eye catcher. Asuma let out a low wolf-whistle. Three pairs of eyes turned to him. Two sets of angry red eyes and one set of murderous black eyes landed on him. He took a step back, tightening his grip on just his nose now. Kisame glowered harder, making Asuma flinch. Itachi wore a knee-length, pale white dress. It was a hoop-skirt type dress ruffled in layers. The top was a strapless, button-up corset and clung tightly to the Uchiha traitor and, had Kisame not seen him in it before, the shark-man would've jumped Itachi right there (for the second time that trip). In the center of the top, where Itachi's heart would be, was a bright pink bow. His shoes were crystal clear stilettos. His legs were model-like, long, sexy, and accentuated by the dress and stilettos. Itachi put his hands on his hips (which didn't help with Kisame's already lacking self-control) and gave Kisame a looks. Kisame nodded and performed some hand signs. From out of seemingly nowhere, music blared. The duo jumped to the water on opposite sides of the lake. Kisame ran and slid to the center of the lake.
"Mucho gusto," he said. Itachi strutted forward like a model until he reached about five feet from Kisame. He reached up and mussed up his hair.
"Aye que fabulosa!" Kisame stood up and took Itachi's offered hand. "Rrrrrrr~! Aye, aye, AYE! Arriba!" Itachi said softly, a blush climbing up his neck. He couldn't believe he'd been talked into this… But then again, that look in Kisame's eyes might be worth it. "¿Quieres baliar?"
Kisame spun Itachi in towards his fishy body. "Mirame," he whispered seductively as soon as his lover was pressed to him. Itachi nodded and spun away. Asuma put as much pressure as he could down on his nose and Kurenai had her eyes covered, peeking through the cracks of her fingers.
Itachi's eyes danced with Kisame's as he opened his mouth to sing. He broke eye-contact and looked down as he slid his hand slowly down his thigh, teasingly tugging the skirt slightly up as he reached for the pale skin. His fingers danced sexily down the perfect thigh as he sang, "I believe in dreaming and shooting for the stars…"
Kisame mentally cursed. How was he supposed to out-sex-ify that? Ah! Light bulb. He stretched his arm out and the water from the lake rose up. Once a nice sized ball was in his hands (three and a half milliseconds) he through his arm up and the water rained down on him in bubbles, popping and sparkling all around him. He met Itachi's Sharingan eyes with his smoldering black ones. "Baby to be number one, you got to raise the bar," sang the fish man.
Itachi did his cat walk over to Kisame, the smoldering look totally worth it. He pressed his body against Kisame's and sang, "Kicking and a scratching," he dragged a fingernail down Kisame's face, a drop of blood dropping into the water, "grinding out my best." He grinned and grinded against his lover.
Asuma squeaked. He took another step back and Kurenai stared at him incredulously. She went to speak, but the Akatsuki duo started singing and they might kill her if she interrupted.
Kisame grinned and wrapped his around Itachi's neck. "Anything it takes to climb the ladder of success," sang the blue man, hiking his leg up around Itachi's waist, pressing his erection against his lover's waist.
Itachi pushed Kisame away sexily and both turned their backs on each other. They then both bent over so their butts were pressed together. "Work our tails off every day!" they sang together, wiggling their butts while their hands rested on their knees. They then stood side by side. "Gotta bump the competition," they bumped hips, "blow them all away~!" They turned and blew kissed at each other.
Kisame twirled his hand around in Itachi's hair and yanked. Itachi gave a growl. "Caliente," Kisame purred. Itachi placed his hand on Kisame's cheek.
"Suave," he murmured. Itachi ran his hand down the inside of Kisame's thigh, singing, "Yeah we're gonna…"
Kisame and Itachi exchanged looks and just for that moment, they forgot they were in public. Of course they did. These things would never happen were they in public and they knew they were. Kisame twirled Itachi around so they were back to front. "Bop, bop, bop," with each 'bop' the duo sang, Kisame swatted Itachi, "Bop to the top," they sang, Kisame spinning Itachi around, hiking Itachi's leg up around his waist as they sang. Kisame pushed Itachi down and scooped the weasel up bridal style. He took a running start and fell to his knees, the duo sliding as they sang, "Slip and slide and ride that rhythm!" Their duet ended with Kisame sitting on the water, Itachi reclining in his lap.
Kisame licked Itachi's cheek and sang, "Jump and hop," he jumped up, holding the unconscious looking, his head lolling back over Kisame's arm, his left arm lip across his stomach and his right arm limp and hanging off to the side, his hair falling beautifully and Kisame's hard-on just got very hard to bear. "Hop until we drop," and Kisame dropped Itachi. Asuma gasped. A Nuke-Nin was dropping another Nuke-Nin. That fight would be interesting to see.
Itachi reacted just before he hit the water. His head snapped up and his arms and legs tensed. The blush he'd had previously climbed up his neck and stopped at his jaw as he squeezed his legs together, now all-too aware of Asuma's staring. He landed, his hands propping him up. His thighs and knees were pressed together and the rest of his legs were apart, adding to the support of his body. "And start again," he sang as if he hadn't just been dropped.
Together, they sang, "Zip zap zop hop, walk like a mop," Kisame pulled Itachi up and into his arms, spinning around, dipping the weasel down so the ends of his hair touched the water. Kisame spread his leg and swung Itachi through them (Greece style) and swung the Uchiha back out, letting go. Itachi flipped back and landed on the toes of his stilettos, looking remarkably like a girl.
Kisame danced over to his partner. "Scoot around the corner," he sang, dancing in a circle around Itachi. The duo then walked a few feet from each other and looked, to Asuma and Kurenai, as if they'd gathered their wits and were about to fight. Asuma sighed in relief and dropped his hand to his side, lighting up a new cigarette but stared as the two ran and slid to each other, meeting in the middle. Kisame put his hands on Itachi's waist and continued singing, "Move it to the groove until the music stops!" Kurenai cringed. Oh god. Asuma went slack jawed, his cigarette falling to the ground.
Together, they sang, "Do the bop, bop, bop to the top!" Kisame undid his tie that horribly with his suit and he threw it to Kurenai who looked horrified at the fact that they were about to start stripping. Asuma bit down on his tongue, his teeth going through the organ. Blood came gushing out of his mouth. Kisame pulled Itachi to him and grinded against his lover's ass. "Don't ever stop." Itachi's voice was the more dominant one. "Bop to the top~!" Kisame put his hands on Itachi's hips and lifted him up. Itachi threw his head back against Kisame's shoulder. "Gimme, gimme," they sang in unison. Itachi shimmied down Kisame's body. "Shimmy, shimmy~!" The Akatsuki team turned their backs on Asuma and Kurenai. The two began shaking their butts. "Shake some booty and turn around!" Together, the pair spun around and faced the pair of Konoha ninja. Both noted Kakashi had arrived, kunai drawn. "Flash a smile in their direction~!" Kisame gave a huge smile, flashing all of his shark teeth. The sunlight glinted off of them, blinding Kakashi.
Kurenai launched herself into Kakashi's arms. "KAKASHI!" she screamed. Kakashi caught her and stared in horror as Itachi started singing.
"Show some muscle," Itachi sang. He untied his bow and began unbuttoning his corset. It was half-way unbuttoned and his muscles ripple.
Kisame grinned and tugged Itachi to him. He stopped Itachi a couple feet from him and got down on his knees. He took Itachi's left foot in his hand and pressed his nose to Itachi's left calf. He trailed his nose up Itachi's leg until his head was under the skirt. With his teeth, he gripped the cream-white garter Itachi wore and tugged it down the model-thin leg. He tugged it off his leg and spit it at Kakashi. "Do the hustle," sang Kisame.
Itachi reached down and yanked Kisame to his feet by the fish man's collar. He ran his hand down Kisame's chest, slowly tugging off the jacket. "Yeah, we're gonna…" Itachi pulled the jacket off and tossed it to Asuma who caught it and began rubbing madly at his nose.
They sang in unison, "Bop, bop, bop, bop to the top," and Itachi slowly unbuttoned Kisame's top until it was half-way undone.
Kisame smiled slightly as he sang, "Wipe away your inhibitions," while brushing Itachi's hair from his face.
Kisame unbuttoned his shirt the rest of the way and Kurenai hid her face in Kakashi's shirt. Kisame tossed the shirt into the air and Asuma fell over, twitching in his now unconscious state due to blood loss. Itachi whipped out three kunai. He threw them in time with their singing, "Stump, stump, stump," three kunai were pinned to a tree, right where Asuma had been standing moments before. "Do the rump," and the Akatsuki duo bumped hips again, Kisame winking saucily at his lover.
Itachi winked saucily back, without the stupid grin. "And strut… Your stuff," he sang loudly, drowning out the music. Itachi stumbled back, out of line. Kisame froze as Maito Gai, who had just ran in-in a flurry of leaves- strutted saucily over to Kakashi, a swing in his hips. Both shook their heads and recovered.
Itachi spun in a circle and fell back onto one of Kisame's arms and the blue man dipped him down, his hand trailing up Itachi's left leg. "Bop, bop, bop, straight to the top," Kisame trailed his hand up to the top of Itachi's head. "Going for the glory~!" they sang together.
Itachi stepped away and they stood side-by-side and the duo began strutting sexily towards Kakashi, Kurenai, Gai, and Asuma, predatory looks in their faces. They reached the shore and they each put a foot on the ground and Kisame sang, "We'll keep stepping up and we just won't stop." They stepped up fully on the shore. Kisame dropped to one knee as if he was about to propose. Itachi plopped down on the knee that wasn't on the ground. He reclined back, straddling the knee. The Uchiha traitor rested his head on Kisame's shoulder and Kisame's hands rested on the inside of either of Itachi's thighs.
Together, they sang, "Till we reach the top…. Bop to the top!"
The music stopped. Gai took his nice-guy pose and screamed, "YOUTH!"