Forgive me for many reasons. I'm a first-timer and I've had this idea brewing in my head for a while and can no longer keep it in. It's gotta come out. Thanks for taking the time to read it. It may be a bit confusing and open-ended at first but it'll all be cleared up. I promise not to drag out the "set-up" of the story, which is going to be centered a lot around Miranda and Marissa, but it won't last too long, it's just to set up the tone of the story AND I promise a great deal of Minx goodness (in every chapter, flashback, fantasy or reality) and angst.
Enjoy!
Here we go!
o.o.O.O.o.o
Life is all about moments of impact and how they change our lives forever. What if one day, you couldn't remember any of them? You're looking into the eyes of the one you love with all your heart and they are asking you "have we met?" When those same eyes, not so long ago, were begging, "don't forget about me." Can the love of a lifetime find its way back?
Marissa's POV
There are a lot of things in life that we all experience in the same way. Growing up, your favourite toy may have been that doll you could never go anywhere without or that teddy bear that smelled like chocolate that would easily put you to sleep at night. Maybe it was the remote control car that you got on your birthday. Just that something that you could spend hours upon hours playing with and never get bored of. For me, personally, I could spend forever lining up dominos with my dad, creating multiple tracks. I was always fascinated by how knocking down just one could cause chaos in either direction, depending on which domino was touched. Looking back on it now, I can't help but notice how my life reflects the course that a toy could take. A lot of people can recognize what I mean by this. For those of you who haven't caught on yet, simply stated, I'm talking about the domino effect: the chain of reactions that occur by a single, even insignificant, moment of impact.
In my life, someone had knocked over that first domino ten years ago and they did so by declaration of a simple confession that sent my world into a whirlwind of confusion, ultimately leading to me recognizing what my heart had been yearning and longing for for so long.
I just…want you to know…that…I'm…attracted to you.
It was after those clear eleven words that I could hear the ticking of the tumbling dominos and I would get seven blissful years with my love, who, after two years dating, I had married, until fate would rear its ugly head and the dominos would change the direction of their course.
Three years…three years…
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Three years was exactly how long it was since the redhead, who lay in her bed tossing and turning, had had a decent and complete night's sleep. Beads of sweat rolled down her face as she could hear the faint whispers of the word 'no' coming out of her mouth and had absolutely no idea why it had come out sounding so strangled…or why it had even come out for that matter. Her eyes chose that moment to shoot open. She lay on her left side, facing her bedroom door. She blinked.
Once.
Twice.
Three times before she felt added weight on her waist.
Nimble fingers traced straight lines up and down the side of her body starting from her waist, torturously and deliciously running smoothly and gently down her hip stopping just above her knee and retraced its path meeting its starting point. That touch felt all too familiar to Marissa Tasker-Montgomery. With the smile that she knew her love would adore and one she couldn't resist, Marissa turned to look into her eyes. As Marissa twisted her body, her love's hand never left her body. From her waist, she could feel the hand travel across her abdomen and find a comfortable place on her stomach. Hazel eyes met the chocolate brown ones of one Bianca Montgomery-Tasker, whose head was perched on her left hand, gazing at Marissa with awe.
"You're home!" whispered Marissa, excitedly, as she snaked her arm around Bianca's waist, cuddling closer to her, seeking her feet and resting her head in her collarbone. Marissa craned her neck so she could nuzzle Bianca's throat, placing a butterfly kiss beneath Bianca's chin.
"Like anyone could ever keep me away from you for too long…"
Bianca started to trace light circles around Marissa's belly button and casually slipped her hand under the fabric that covered her stomach. Removing her other hand from her face, yet still keeping her head elevated, Bianca caressed Marissa's cheek with the back of her index finger and made its way to her lips. She traced their outline and sighed contentedly before leaning down and claiming them in between hers for a soft kiss.
"No…" murmured Marissa against Bianca's lips. "…They most certainly can't." Marissa grinned as she looked into her love's eyes. Those eyes that she could spend forever losing herself in those eyes that, no matter how long she went without seeing them, she would never forget them.
"You look tired, baby. Are you not sleeping?" Bianca asked, concern written all over her face. Marissa scoffed silently and lifted her right hand to graze Bianca's chin.
"No…how can I? …You're not here with me…"
BANG!
Marissa shot straight up and looked all around her bedroom.
It was empty.
She looked at the spot beside her, feeling it.
It was cold.
Bianca was gone…
Like she has been for the last three years… She thought to herself.
It was all just a dream…
Marissa buried her face in her hand and wiped the tears that had begun to fall from her eyes, leaving a damp trail down her face and listened to her surroundings.
12:56 AM.
Seriously? There's no way I'm getting back to sleep now. Damn it!
…What the hell was that noise?
Something had woken her. It came from the kitchen.
Grabbing her robe from the foot of the bed, Marissa threw it over her shoulders and headed for her door. Stepping into the dim hallway, she could hear a rustling of some kind coming from the floor below her. She passed each of her children's bedrooms and headed, quietly, down the semi-spiral staircase. Halfway down, she peered over the banister and saw a light coming from one of the rooms on the main floor.
Yup. Definitely the kitchen… she thought.
As quickly, yet as quietly and as stealth as her legs and feet could move, she walked down the final steps and crept towards the kitchen. When she peered in, she nearly stopped dead in her tracks. At the sink, pouring milk into a bowl of cereal stood a brunette, approximately 5 feet, 7 inches in height. She knew perfectly well who would be eating at this time of night. Leaning against the frame of the entry of the kitchen, Marissa smirked and coughed lightly. The brunette turned quickly and stopped at the sight of Marissa. Her mouth was full of crunchy cereal and when she tried to smile, Marissa got a perfect view of the contents in her mouth.
"Hi mama," she tried to say.
Marissa chuckled at her eldest daughter's antics and shook her head. Propping herself upwards, Marissa made her way across the kitchen and held her daughter in a tight embrace.
"Welcome home!"
Marissa pulled away only to see her daughter swallow the cereal in her mouth.
"Thanks ma… I'm sorry. I tried to be quiet."
"Yeah well, you failed at that." Marissa chuckled. "You coulda woken up your brother and your sister, Miranda."
"Yeah, I know… Like I said, I tried. I'm sorry." Miranda tried flash Marissa an innocent smile but only ended up sniggering. Marissa leaned against the counter opposite to Miranda who returned to her cereal.
"You also could have woken Tammy up."
"Bah! Like I care about Tammy… Why is she still here anyway?" She inquired, taking another spoonful.
"She's a friend and she needed a place to stay until she got back on her feet. Miranda, c'mon, you know that."
"Ma, seriously? It's been almost 9 months and she can't find a place to live? You know she's just-"
"Miranda, please?" Marissa interrupted. "It's 1 in the morning…"
Taking a deep breath, Miranda sighed and bit her bottom lip. She shook her head and conceded.
"Fine… So?" She asked as she hopped onto the counter so her legs swung freely below her. Marissa simply stood there and grinned.
"I'm so happy you're home…alive… I nearly had a heart attack when I saw you standing there."
"I told you I was trying to be quiet," Miranda whispered as she chuckled lightly.
"I know, I know…it's just…you and your mother look scarily alike from the back."
A full and genuine smile graced Miranda's delicate features. Growing up, people had always told her that her younger sister, Gabby, was the one who looked like her mom and Miranda always figured she must have looked like…well, she would never call that man her 'father.' No, he would always be a faceless and heartless nobody to her. She appreciated that her mother was always honest with her when it came to her past. For Marissa to tell her that she, at least, resembled her mother from behind was always a welcoming statement.
"And you have her heart and personality." Concluded Marissa.
"So I'm told…" Miranda's face turned sullen.
"I gather by that look on your face that you didn't find her?"
Miranda sighed and rubbed her eye.
"No… We were too late, but we know where they're headed next."
Marissa gave Miranda a look of confusion. Noticing this, Miranda hopped off of the counter and reached into the pocket of her sweater. She pulled out a piece of paper and began unfolding it. She placed it down on the counter beside Marissa.
"A map?"
Miranda nodded.
"Of Pine Valley and the towns and cities surrounding it."
Marissa took note of the various markings made by red and black ink.
"The red marks the places they've already been to and the black where they have yet to go. I dunno why, but they're staying within the boundaries of Pennsylvania. They're kinda stupid actually…they like to revisit the places they've been to already. It's like they're watching mom, but someone is watching them, keeping them here…so they could watch them."
"So, where are they headed next?"
Miranda looked from Marissa to the map and pointed at an adjacent town to Pine Valley.
"Seriously?" Marissa asked. "That close by?"
"I told you that they were stupid." Miranda moved away from the counter and leaned against the opposing one. Marissa turned to face her and crossed her arms. "Matt said that he and John were gonna go there and start mapping their location… Then they're gonna call for back-up and attack…and I'm going with them."
Marissa raised her eyebrows.
"What? No! No way. Uh uh! Not happening."
"Ma-"
"No! Miranda, I said no. Please! You promised me that this was your last…whatever it was, even if you didn't get her. Please, if Matt and John say that they got this then let them do it. Please? God knows what these morons are like. I can't let you go in there with them and put your life at risk. Just leave it up to the investigators."
Miranda saw the desperation and plea in Marissa's eyes, but despite her mother's urgent look and tone of voice, Miranda couldn't give her what she wanted.
"I can't do that… This is mom we're talking about."
"I know, but Miranda, I love you too much to let you risk your life like this. Let Matt and John handle this."
Miranda was getting frustrated. She knew she had to be with the private investigators that Erica had recommended to Marissa who she hired a couple of years ago to find Bianca, despite the closure of the case by the Pine Valley Police Department. Miranda had to find a way to get through to Marissa.
"Do you remember when we found out what was going on? Huh? Mom hadn't come home that Tuesday afternoon. We couldn't file a missing person's report unless she was missing for at least 48 hours. Do you remember that?"
A pain stung in Marissa's heart. How could she forget?
"Yes," whispered Marissa.
"And then only after 6 months, 6 months of investigation, they closed it? They declared her dead even though there was no body and not one shred of evidence?"
The pain in Marissa's chest only increased with every word that Miranda spoke.
"Of course. Yes! I remember all of it! How can I possibly forget that they just gave up!"
"What happened on the day of the 'funeral'? Only you and me ad a couple of other people didn't believe that mom was dead and what happened?"
Marissa turned white.
"You found her locket…"
Miranda nodded and began to calm down.
"I found her locket…"
The weather that day did all but mirror the emotions of every single individual who would be gathered around an empty casket in an hour's time. Miranda stood outside of the house that she had lovingly called home and beneath an overly warm sun, it rays of light beating on the back of her neck, which was already drenched with sweat. Thankfully the black shirt she wore camouflaged it. The tightening grip of a small hand in hers caught her attention. She peered down at the little girl that hand belonged to. She was a year and a half at the time. She looked up at Miranda and stretched her arms, wanting to be picked up. Obliging, Miranda bent down and lifted the child in her arms, who rested her head on Miranda's shoulder.
"Whewe momma Binx?"
Miranda had done everything she could possibly do to keep her tears at bay, but the innocent tone in her little sister's voice had her losing any resolve she held. Sighing, Miranda placed a gentle kiss on the child's temple and whispered, "I wish I knew, Sofia."
A car had pulled up to the house and a familiar face that made Miranda feel uneasy exited from it.
"Miranda." She said as she passed.
"Tammy." Miranda greeted her without emotion. "Looks like you and Nate are being looked after by her today…"
-x.x.x-
Marissa believed all of this to be pointless. The casket that had been lowered into the ground was empty. Why is it that most people were so quick to believe that Bianca was dead? Whatever happened to finding out the truth? Why didn't anything make sense? Then again, when does anything that happen in Pine Valley ever make sense?
Marissa gazed at the screen above her on the opposing wall. She gazed upon a photo of her and Bianca taken a few weeks prior to her disappearance. It was one that she and Bianca had agreed to, to help Spike build his portfolio for a photography class that he had enrolled in. Marissa lost herself in that photo. She knew that it was taken in the park, but she and Bianca were in focus with the background blurred. The smiles on the faces of these two ladies were beyond those that described happiness or bliss. They described something so much more than a simple word. Foreheads were touching and the setting was in black and white. Unable to take it anymore, Marissa forced herself to look away from the photo and searched for Miranda.
She was nowhere to be seen.
Unable to take all of the looks of sympathy from family and friends, then to add the multiple collages and slideshows, Miranda had become fed up with all of whispers and meaningless touches of pity. It had started to drown her.
I need air!
She walked across the grounds of the cemetery with her arms crossed and stopped suddenly. Looking up to the sky, Miranda let the wind blow across her face and closed her eyes. Mom can't be dead…there's just no way. It doesn't feel right… Miranda opened her eyes and looked to her feet and allowed her eyes to wander all around her. She knew this place.
Looking up, Miranda recognized the large tree that she had seen multiple times when her mother had brought her along to visit her great-grandmother. She hung her head and sighed before Miranda allowed herself to walk up to the gravestone of the woman whom she was named after. Sitting down in the grass in front of the stone, Miranda spoke quietly.
"I know that…that you and I never met…and, to be honest, it kinda sucks because my mom used to tell me stories about you and I think…I think you and I woulda been close." Miranda took a deep breath. "I know I don't have the right to ask, but if it's at all possible, could you give me a sign? Am I crazy to think that mom isn't really dead?"
Miranda brought her knees to her chest and rested her chin on them and exhaled. Maybe it was the sun's glare or the sign that she had been hoping for, but a golden gleam caught her eye as she looked past her great-grandmother's grave. Without tearing her eyes from the shimmering object, Miranda stood quickly and walked over. Bending over, Miranda reached down for the trinket in the grass and brought it to her face.
Oh my God…
It was a locket with a broken chain, the clasp still firmly in place. Curiosity got the best of her and she opened it. Inside she saw a miniature photo of her two moms on one side and on the other her and her 4 other siblings: Gabby, AJ, Sofia and Nathan.
It's mom's locket.
"…Broken, in the grass of the Pine Valley cemetery right by her grandmother's grave site… We've worked day in and day out since then with Matt and John and it has led us here! I have to go with them. Mom doesn't know who Matt and John are and she is going to need a familiar face to trust so that she will come home. Please?"
Miranda was near begging.
"I have to see this through. Please? I'll even bring AJ with me… Please?"
Marissa hugged Miranda and sighed.
"I'm sorry, I can't let you do this…not even if AJ would be with you."
Miranda hung her head as Marissa pulled away from her.
"I can't risk losing you too…"
Miranda nodded, knowing that Marissa wouldn't let up on the subject. Yawning, Miranda placed her hand on the back of her neck, took a deep breath, and brought her eyes to her mother's.
"And you won't. I swear."
Marissa enveloped Miranda into a tight embrace, propping her chin on her shoulder.
"Promise me that you won't go with them?"
"Ma-"
"Promise me."
"I promise." Miranda pulled away from Marissa and nodded. "I promise."
"Thank you." Smiling, she continued. "Okay, it's now 1:30 and I need to be up early."
"Meeting?" Miranda asked as she finished the minimal amount left in her bowl.
"No. Nathan and Sofia have school."
"Riiight. Wednesday." She smirked.
"Exactly! I have a meeting too but it's not 'til 11:00 and I don't have to be at the office before 10:30."
Nodding, Miranda tossed her dirty dishes into the sink and walked over to Marissa.
"Well, I'm heading to bed. G'night mom." She kissed Marissa's cheek who drew her in for another hug.
"G'night. I'm glad you're home. It was a long few weeks without you around."
When she pulled away, Miranda wore a smirk. She turned on her heel and headed out of the kitchen.
After Miranda exited the kitchen, Marissa found herself to be wide-awake. She thought of her warm, cozy bed and it made her sick. Warm and cozy? Yeah, right! It's cold and too quiet and rigid! Leaving the kitchen, Marissa found herself in the middle of her large hallway, looking around her silent house. Miranda's words kept coming back to her: We were too late, but we know where they're headed next. They knew where Bianca was. That she was alive. If she was well? That was a different question. But she's alive. How have I spent three years like this? Without her? Have I been sleepwalking through my life this entire time? Is she really coming home? God, I hope she's really coming home.
Marissa found herself walking back towards the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. There's no way I'm falling back asleep now, she thought. The redhead watched as the dark brown liquid filled the glass pot, cup by cup, as she leaned over the counter. When the pot was full, she poured it into a mug and allowed the aroma fill her senses.
A pair of lean, yet strong, arms encompassed her waist. She leaned against the familiar warmth of the body to whom those comforting arms belonged to. Marissa found her comfort, strength and home in those arms.
"You're still awake? You're not even gonna try to sleep?"
"What's the point? You know it won't last too long."
"I'm coming home to you baby. You know I would never leave you. It was in my vows, wasn't it?"
Marissa turned around. There was no one there.
Great. Juuuust great. Now I'm going insane… I just miss her so much.
She didn't know how, but Marissa had ended up in the family, turning the television on and popping in a home video. She couldn't spend another minute creating her wife in her mind. She missed Bianca desperately and wanted to see her. Sitting on the leather couch, she remembered how Bianca used to hold her; one arm wrapped securely and lovingly across her shoulders while she caressed her hair. Every once in a while, Bianca would press a kiss to her head and Marissa would reciprocate by kissing a spot on Bianca's hand. Coming back to reality, Marissa pushed play.
"Is it on?"
Marissa smirked at herself on screen.
"Yeah, babe, it's on. I know how to work a camera. C'mon show me the birthday boy."
Marissa yanked Nathan from the ground and began to play with him, "flying" him into the camera while she made airplane noises. Bianca's giggling could be heard from behind the camera. Nathan's smile got wider and wider and he began to chuckle.
"Momma!"
The camera shifted to a little girl running for the camera with a 10 year old Gabby trailing behind her.
"And here is the birthday girl. Fia, tell mommy how old are you today?"
Gabby bent down beside Sofia and held her at the waist. Gabby held up a finger in front of her little sister. Sofia mimicked Gabby's actions.
"That's right baby girl. You're one today. And so is Nathan." Bianca said as she shifted the camera back to her where her wife had previously been playing with their little boy, who was now replaced by Miranda. "And there is my eldest daughter tickling her little brother and my son standing with my gorgeous wife."
AJ smirked and started towards the camera, while Marissa stood still simply glancing in Bianca's direction at the mention of her wife's declaration.
"Hey, why don't you let me do this? You can get in there for once." He chuckled.
Marissa snickered as she watched the camera being given to AJ. It started shaking. When Bianca's radiant and smiling face filled the screen, the pang in Marissa's heart grew and she could feel herself stop breathing.
"You got it bud?"
"Yeah mama, don't worry."
"Okaaay," Bianca said as she widened her eyes and smirked. She winked at the camera before turning away and headed for Miranda who was playing with Nathan.
Marissa continued to watch her past play out before her. Tears began to roll down her face. She took a deep breath and tried to get comfortable, but couldn't seem to. Giving up, she simply lay down and wiped the moisture forming in her eyes before settling them across her abdomen. She watched as her not-so-little family surrounded her two twin angels as they attempted to blow out the candles with Sofia sitting in Gabby's lap and Nathan sharing a chair with Ian. Laughter and applause was easily heard and mutterings of the multitude of people gathered around the infants as they chorused in a verse of 'Happy Birthday.' Marissa could remember filming this portion of the video herself. As Gabby and Ian helped Sofia and Nathan blow out their candles and could see Bianca removing the cakes from in front of their children, but Kendall stopped her.
"Nuh-uh! You enjoy this moment with your wife over there who, by the way, I just might end up smacking if she doesn't quit it with that bloody camera."
Bianca looked over at the camera and burst out laughing as she walked over after Kendall departed to the kitchens with the cakes in tow.
"Sweetie, you get that?"
"What, Kendall threatening me? Oh yeah!"
"Okay, good…look at them." The camera focused in on their 5 kids sitting all together. "And they're all ours."
"Yes they are…" After a few seconds, the camera was back on Bianca. "Okay you," Marissa stated. "Time for your personal message to our kids."
"Did you do yours yet?"
"Nope!"
"Well then, why can't we do it together?"
Marissa saw the camera shift and shake a bit, but within seconds they were both on camera; Marissa clearly being the one who held it out in front of them for Bianca stood right behind her, arms wrapped around Marissa's waist and kissed her shoulder.
"Babe, not on camera. The kids are probably gonna watch this," chastised Marissa, turning to look at her wife.
"I'm sorry, I can't help it," Bianca said, trying to put on an innocent face.
"It's okay, I forgive you." Marissa pecked Bianca's lips, but latched on a little too much longer than she initially meant to.
"And you thought I was being inappropriate?" Bianca said giggling.
"Will you just-"
"Hey Fia, Nate…" interrupted Bianca.
Marissa hadn't heard anything after that because she had fallen asleep, dreaming about the woman she hoped she would one day see again and be able to feel her and not have it be a dream.