My Epic Adventure

The pain still reverberated across my chest, it felt like a huge Kamehameha came upon me and hit me will full force. Darkness is still around me and I feel so weak. And then, I hear a voice.

"Stop sleeping, you idiot! Get up already!", said a much tougher voice.

Am I dead, am I… in heaven?

I then felt a painful increase of weight in my chest, then a pull from my tie. When I opened my eyes, I saw a girl with yellow ribbon headband, red armband and brown hair with the "I want to kill you" smile grappling me in the mount position.

"Stop it already!", said a voice belonging to a brown haired girl in a ponytail wearing an annoyed expression.

"Kyon-chan, don't you know anything about trespassing?!", the leader said with a frown. I knew that she was the leader as she was wearing a red armband.

The frowning girl facepalms and sighs, "That is so not trespassing; that's falling in by accident."

At these words, the leader, wearing a sour expression, relinquished her hold on me.

"Sorry about that.", the frowning girl said.

"I'm Haruhi Suzumiya, leader of the SOS Brigade. My vice-commander is Koizumi Itsuki but Itsuko is here for the meantime. This is Asahina Mikuru, our cute mascot! Nagato Yuki our indispensable silent member. Oh and this is Kyonko. Kyon is busy getting stuff for me, along with the guys.", Haruhi said at full speed while each member made a sign of recognition: Mikuru bowed, Nagato nodded, Itsuko raised her hand while Kyonko mumbled, "She didn't even apologize." Haruhi then said excitedly, "As compensation for my actions, I'll make you a member free of charge!"

"Haruhi," Kyonko said, "You still haven't gotten off him." No sooner was this said when Haruhi finally got off me. I then stood up to regain balance. I then noticed I'm wearing a North High School Uniform blazer.

Me, a member? This is… but… what does this club do anyway?

Haruhi shouted with enthusiasm, "We search for the mysteries of the world!"

Ah, I see. Like the… anime. Wait, the anime?! I guess I'll have to join. Or I'll suffer the death penalty. But how did I get here?

A painful flashback shot across my head, then images started flowing into me… itasha accident.

I then lost consciousness as I stumbled then fell down as someone with violet hair caught me.

I woke up with someone looking at me with a stupid face, turned red then started leaning back as I saw Haruhi, being so close to my face, followed by Mikuru, Yuki, Kyonko, Itsuko, and the rest of the people who are standing back. The new arrivals that I see right now are probably Yuuki, Kyon and Itsuki. A guy came forward holding another guy's neck, wait, is that guy in middle school? The bigger guy said, "My name is Haruki Suzumiya and this is Asahina Mitsuuru."

… That was the self introduction?

"Well then, we'll have to get some materials!", Haruki said. He then left along with Haruhi.

A long pause, I then looked at the crowd and said, "Don't tell me you guys have something to say to me about Haruhi?"

Everyone looked up.

What?

It was the only thing I can say.

"Well then, our explanation then will be very short.", said Itsuko.

"Suzumiya Haruhi and I are not ordinary humans.", Yuki said.

"The Integrated Data Sentient Entity, which oversees this galaxy, has created a Living Humanoid Interface in order to interact with biological entities – me and…", Yuuki said, while gesturing to Yuki with a nod.

"In the vast sea of data known as the universe…", Yuuki said while I reminisce the long speech with Yuki and Kyon.

"The Integrated Data Entity was very intrigued by this, and decided to observe these humans further.", Yuki finally ended the long speech that she kept. I couldn't say that I knew it, otherwise I'll be bombarded with questions I'll be having a hard time to answer.

Mikuru then lifted her head and said, "I'm not from this time and age. I am a person from the future. I can't tell you when I arrived from, or from which temporal plane. I wouldn't be able to anyway, even if I wanted to. Conveying any information regarding the future with any person from the past is strictly forbidden - and that's why - before boarding the time machine I had to go through stringent mental conditioning. If I intended to say anything that shouldn't be said, my memory concerning that information would be sealed."

"…Time is unlike this river here: every moment belongs to a digitized temporal plane. Are you following me now?", Mitsuuru finally finished as well.

"You're not gonna tell me that you're an esper, are you?", I said to Itsuko before she could open her mouth. Everyone looked up in shock with the look, "How did he know?". Itsuko was the first to recover before everyone else.

She then said while keeping the smile, "While not exactly accurate, you're more or less correct - I am what you call an esper. That's right, I possess paranormal powers.". Oh great, an alien, time traveler and esper: Just like in her speech.

"I'd have preferred not to transfer to this school so suddenly, but there has been a change in circumstances. I never thought those two girls would have approached Suzumiya Haruhi so quickly already. Before that, they had always been silently observing her.", Itsuki said.

"So you have a pair right, just like Yuki and Mikuru?", I asked.

"You are right. Itsuki's also an esper with the same mission as I.", Itsuko said.

Did they say observe? Stop treating Haruhi like some treasured endangered species!

Noticing that I was frowning, he continued,

"Now calm down. We're trying our best as well! We have no intentions of harming Suzumiya-san, rather, we want to protect her from danger.", Itsuki said raising his hands like saying, 'I surrender!'

"You said we? That means there are other espers like you?"

"Well, there aren't quite as many as you think. Since I am among the lowest-ranked, I don't really know much, I only know there are about ten in this world. All are under the supervision of the 'Organization'", Itsuko said.

"I would bet everyone here is under a group as well.", I muttered under my breath.

"I guess.", Kyonko said.

"And your priority is to observe… Suzumiya Haruhi? Am I correct?", I said.

"That is correct.", Yuki said.

"Our specific groups, the Organization, entered the scene four years ago. The Integrated Data Entity was on standby until the same time frame. And Asahina's group was traveling back in time to observe until the same time frame. Fortunately all of the time travelers have gotten out of the time frame, otherwise they'd be trapped in the past forever.", Itsuko said.

"For that person, to create and alter this reality we're in is as simple as clockwork, we, the Organization, call her God.", Itsuki said smiling.

Oh great, another religion called Haruhiism. Just what Haruhi wanted, wait, don't we have enough religions already?

"So if 'Goddess Haruhi' becomes sore", I said, "she'll just trash this world and go somewhere else?"

"To put it short, yes.", Itsuko said.

Oh great, a jealous goddess.

"And she isn't aware of it?", I said incredulously.

"No she's not self-aware of her powers.", Yuki said.

Since I arrived here, aren't I the sole outsider?

"Not quite. For us, you're a mysterious presence. I've done quite a lot of background checks on you; I hope you don't mind. And I can assure you, you are just a normal human being with... no special powers.", Itsuki said.

I guess I'll take that as disappointment.

"10% deviant, 60% weird, 30% conformist.", Yuki said.

I guess that would do.

"Please believe us.", Yuki finally said.

The door suddenly burst open before I could say any more, with Haruki and Haruhi back with paper bags.

As the lock on the door clicked, I sensed impending doom. Both Asahinas started going pale, have they been trained to sense doom? I guess when Haruhi and Haruki come back with smiles, that won't be good news for normal people.

"Mikuru-chan, Mitsuuru-kun, time to change!", Haruhi and Haruki declared at the same time.

Oh shoot.

I tried to tiptoe away but both Suzumiyas suddenly jumped on both Asahinas. I was nearly halfway near the door when Haruki grabbed me from the back. I tried holding onto the doorknob but I failed against Haruki's ridiculous strength, while Haruhi grabbed me by the legs. Carting us all three off, Haruhi holding Mikuru by wrapping one arm around her, the other arm around my legs. Haruki was holding Mitsuuru while letting go of my head to be dragged. I then fell on the floor while I was being dragged along with both Asahinas.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!", both Asahinas and I shouted.

After what seemed an eternity, I was forced to dressed up as Ayasaki Hayate, while both Mikuru and Mitsuuru were dressed up as maids. Or rather, I had to dress up before both Suzumiyas harass me and take off my clothes for me. Unfortunately my sight without glasses was so bad and I hate placing anything in my eye, so I had to continue wearing glasses. Konata was cosplaying as Suzumiya Haruhi and she never cut her hair, dyed it or wore contact lenses to get Haruhi's eye color. Meanwhile Haruhi and Haruki were dressed up as bunny girl and male stripper, respectively.

"Here.", Haruhi said.

"What's this?", I said.

"Our new advertisement for the SOS Brigade, you idiot.", Haruki said.

Sigh. I think you're both idiots, King and Queen Idiot, ah well, at least this would be fast. I could run very fast to make an escape.

"If you do pass enough, I'll give you rewards and experience points!", Haruhi said.

Is this an RPG?

"And don't think of escaping, otherwise you'll get the death penalty!", Haruki said.

Ah well, I then went to the first classroom and started distributing handouts while the teacher went for the restroom. By the time the teacher spotted me, I handed off most of the handouts.

"Hey!", the male teacher said.

I then started to run. Hmm, this might not be a bad idea after all, as I started laughing.

"Nyahahaha, catch me if you can!", I then started picking up speed and distributing leaflets at each classroom, throwing them like newspapers at ninja speed. I managed to avoid them by jumping off the stairs 2 steps at a time. Meanwhile I saw Haruhi standing ground with Okabe-sensei and Haruki handing out leaflets to girls.

I then grabbed both and all 3 of us started running around school, throwing leaflets while running back and laughing.

In the end, we wasted our breath laughing as we both got caught. We were then sent to the Principal's office with both Asahinas caught and ignoring Haruki's protest, "Man, you guys are too slow!"

Haruhi's speed: 23 mph

Haruki's speed: 24 mph

My speed: 22 mph

Wait, when did I start running that fast? I know I can outrun most of my classmates but I never remembered running this fast before.

Time captured: 15 minutes.

In the end, Haruhi and Haruki returned back to the SOS Brigade den, complaining about Principal and Okabe-sensei and both Asahinas crying.

"At least we did managed to pass most of the handouts, right?", I said, while trying to lighten the mood.

"I guess you're right.", Haruhi said, "Dismissed!" as she started to take off her cuffs, I immediately left.

Every SOS Brigade member proceeded to go outside the gates, I spotted Yuki and ran after her.

"Wait, Nagato.", I said, trying to catch my breath.

"…. what is it?", Yuki said after a short pause.

"Can I stay in your apartment?", I said.

"Sure.", Yuki said.

I then walked with Yuki. It then took what it felt like an hour to reach her apartment.

We then proceeded to the room and I fell flat on the sofa, sighing, "This is a long day."

I then look at Yuki looking silently at me.

"Doujinshi?", as I gave her three books from my bag.

Yuki then nodded while I laid face down on the sofa.

After what seemed to be a minute, I then asked her, "How's the doujinshi?"

"Unique.", she said.

"Which part of Krystle's doujinshi is unique?"

"All of it."

"I see."

I then continued sleeping on the sofa. Yuki Nagato then went to the kitchen then reheated some food. I then ate some but I wished halfheartedly that she will cook or something.

After what seemed 5 minutes, the phone rang.

I then answered it, "Hello?"

"ANYONE THERE?!", a voice shouted out with the power of 90 db. I then cleared out my ear and shouted back, "Haruhi, you didn't need to shout out that loud!"

"HOW DARE YOU SHOUT BACK TO THE CHIEF!", Haruhi shouted once more while I held the phone at arm's length.

"We meet outside the north station before nine in the morning! Don't be late! Absentees will be executed!", Haruhi proclaimed her announcement before slamming it.

"Hey- oh great, she closed the phone.", I mumbled. "I guess we will have to gather before nine in the morning…"

"Understood.", Yuki said.

I then fell immediately on the sofa. I then opened my eyes to see Nagato watching me.

"Aren't you going to sleep?", I said.

"No need.", Yuki said.

"I see." I then feel asleep in a daze.

Walking towards the station, I then stopped on the agreed place. Kyon and Kyonko was late, so each had to treat us to drinks.

"You're late! You've got to be fined!", Haruki said.

Dressed in a long sleeved T-shirt and a short denim skirt, Haruhi looked very cheerful.

"You'll have to treat all of us to drinks."

Placing her arms on her waist with ease, Haruhi looked much more approachable than her usual scowling self. Unable to argue, Kyon obligingly agreed to her command everytime he became late and led everyone to a nearby café.

Everyone wore the same clothes as they usually do during their search for mysteries.

As the Mystery Eleven (including me) walked into the café by the roundabout and sat down in our chairs, the waitress started taking our orders. Only Nagato studied the menu seriously - still no expression displayed, of course - taking her time to decide. Honestly, the time it took for her to decide on what to drink was enough to cook a bowl of ramen!

Haruhi made the following suggestions:

We would split into two parties. If any of us were to find anything that looked mysterious we were to contact each other at once by cell phone then meet up to discuss what to do next. Once it was all over a debriefing would be held to review and prepare for further developments.

That was all.

"Now, let's draw lots!"

Haruhi took eleven toothpicks from the toothpick stand, then using a black, blue and red pen she borrowed from the waitress; she marked two of the toothpicks. She then wrapped her fingers around the toothpicks for us to draw.

I got a red one, and so did Yuki, Mikuru and Itsuko. Kyonko got a blue one and so did Mitsuuru and Koizumi. Kyon, Haruhi, got the black one. Yuuki, Haruki got an unmarked toothpick.

"Alright, let's go!", Haruhi said while giving Kyon the bill.

"Yare yare.", Kyonko said while Haruki gave her the bill.

All of us (me, Yuki, Mikuru and Itsuko) then wandered around Akihabara, I managed to buy Yuki a couple of PC games as she already had a laptop, I then took the track to Harajuku and gave Mikuru and Itsuko a sweet Lolita set. I then bought different brands of items for my kodona set. As soon as my phone rang, I answered it.

Haruhi said, "Did you find anything?"

I answered, "Nope."

Haruhi said, "We'll meet at noon, at the station where we met this morning."

She hung up after saying that. I then looked at the cellphone and it was half past eleven. We then hurried back to the subway and quickly ran back outside the station entrance.

Haruhi said, "Did you find anything?"

I shook my head and everyone responded in the same way.

The next toothpick drawing yielded the following results:

Red – Haruhi, me, Koizumi

Blue – Kyonko, Yuki, Mitsuuru

Black – Kyon, Mikuru, Yuuki

Unmarked – Itsuko, Haruki

Haruhi and Haruki looked at Kyon as though he cheated the toothpicks.

"We'll meet in front of the station by four. Be sure to find something by then!", Haruhi said.

She then grabbed Kyon's drink and Haruki grabbed Kyonko's drink: They drank it all while Kyon complained, "Drink your own drinks." at which Haruhi didn't notice.

I was then pulled out by an angry Haruhi while the rest went each other's way.

As a result of Haruhi running around in hyper-mode, grabbing some of what is left of my money, I have no more money left to travel back from Nakano Broadway back to the target station. Haruhi was fascinated by the things that she looked at while we were walking around there from the anime goods and other figurines. Koizumi paid up for our subway tickets and we went back to the target station in no time. Unfortunately, not finding anything mysterious, she got pissed and stretched my face like rubber: I then retaliated by stretching hers as well. The good news is that Kyon managed to calm Haruhi down while Haruki checked everyone if they found a mystery.

"Haruki, none of us found a single one.", I said.

"None here as well.", Kyonko said.

"…", Yuki just kept silent as usual.

"Dismissed!", Haruhi said in an impatient tone.

Yuki and I went back to the apartment. I imagined Haruhi's fascinated face: I'm starting to regret taking her to Nakano Broadway by the next morning.

Next morning, I decided to take a little trip to Akihabara, along with Nagato as she decided to walk with me to look for something as she had a new interest in manga. Suddenly, someone ran into me at high speed. I fell back from the collision.

"Ow, ow, ow, it hurts!", I was laying flat on my back, my body aching from the impact of that person running into me. As I opened my eyes to see what had happened, I saw a blue-haired girl on top of me, straddling me.

"Ow, ow ow… it hurts…", said a blue-haired girl whom I have no trouble recognizing. She was looking down on me with shock on her face and I was looking up at her with shock and perhaps, embarassment as my temperature was soaring quickly.

It was Konata Izumi.