Set after a random case, season four sounds good. Okay, so this is extremely fluffy for me. With that being said here you go, for those with a sweet tooth. Also, Happy memorial day weekend! Meg
We leave so much unsaid conversations cut short heads held low in defeat, Disappointment? Maybe. Words cannot explain what silence has become definitely not a friend, not a hundred thousand words could ever say what either wants- words no. So things go left unsaid and we continue to pretend as you go right and I go left, alone once more.
Maybe its better this way I tell myself as I lay in my bed starring at the ceiling because if I said to you what I wanted to I don't know what you would say, but that's just it I do know and I'm scared of it. Those three words. I know you are too. Scared of what could happen to our strange yet vital relationship, scared of what could be or what could not.
That's o.k though we have all the time in the world for later, don't we? How many times I've told myself, repeated those exact words to myself. Too many times when you were hurt or I was hurt, we spend far to much time in hospitals, far too much time being worried and paranoid. I sit up pondering if I should join you in the other room everything in my body tells me too but I don't. Eventually I wander out unto the living room, but only to let you know I'm having a shower. You nod somberly and yawn.
The warm water feels good as I stand under the shower head letting the water wash all of the troubles of the day away. I sigh broken and bruised yet strong as ever. Work was tough and draining today we just got in at three am from New Orleans. We were there for three days. Though, being a F.B.I agent's partner has some perks...I guess. Like parking wherever you want and I suppose, no, that's about it. Out of state cases are interesting with him at my side-draining yet for the most part quite amusing.
He's at my place tonight because Georgetown is closer then his place and we didn't feel like driving or unpacking at three in the morning, although it's not a rare thing. After my shower I find him asleep on the couch. I grab a comforter from the linen closet and cover him with it he starts to murmur something as I walk away, I stop and listen to see if he needs me or is just talking in his sleep. "Thanks Bones" He says simply and I smile slightly and lightly brush his forehead with the back of my hand. I respond in a whisper "Mmhhmm." He smiles eyes still shut and I walk away, but suddenly pause turning around. I swear I heard him mumble "Love you." My eyes scan his lanky body laying on my couch. I breathe the site in and smile to myself as I watch as his chest rises and falls. "I love you too Booth." Then I turn and walk into my room.
We may, as in might still have time but the answer I was scared of for so long. The one I'm still a bit scared of may jeopardize our relationship. The truth of our relationship, the answer to words unsaid. It's been answered for a long time just never acknowledged. We are both still slightly scared of truly doing that, acknowledging the heart of the matter. I've spent many a nights with him like this it's my life, it's his but it's a different one a strange one.
Though, I guess we have become accustom to it and relish it however strange and odd our lives have become they are our lives and I couldn't live any other way or be without him. I know he wouldn't be able to make it without me either. We are one, a dangerous liaison, strange allies, and have a enigmatic nexus but we are. It's simple, a mutual understanding that does not need words. I know he loves me and he knows I love him.
As I lay in bed and turn off my bed side lamp my mind reels with words unsaid and I wonder how harmful it would be if I walked out unto the other room and told him that I feel the couch is a bit too small for him and he has outgrown it years ago. My bed is equipped for two. Maybe another night, there will be other nights. I tell myself next time I'll be braver, I'll be stronger and roll on to my side. I sigh as I continue to stare at the empty side of my bed feeling just as empty inside.