For the Love of All that is Good and Watermelon

Once upon a time there was a girl named Bella. She lived in a world of butterflies and vampires. OMG! Guess what?! Her boyfriend was a vampire!!! YAY! She loved him soooooooooo much! He was hot and awesome and he watched her sleep! That is so NOT creepy!

This happy couple decided to go to their special meadow. Bella's vampire boyfriend, Edward, became all sparkly. Bella and fan girls in background all swoon.

"Oh Eddie! You're so manly when you sparkle like a rainbow!" Bella cries.

Giggles erupt from fan girls.

"Belly, lets go. I want to eat." Edward says whiningly.

"OK!" Bella laughs and they skip off to the forest.

"Oh looky! A mountain lion! I'll go drink it's blood cuz' I'm a VEGITARIAN!" Edward yells and runs at the animal.

Bella watches and cheers him on; wishing that she was a vampire and could kills animals and drink their blood, just like Edward.

Ed returns to her, covered in blood.

"Edward I'm hungry."

"Ok lets go to The Lodge." Edward suggests.

The couple enters the restaurant and Edward starts panting.

"What is it Eddie?" Bella asks.

"She smells really pretty." Edward says pointing to a waitress.

"NO!" Bella shrieked "I'm the one whose blood you want to drink, not her!" In her fit of rage, Bella pulls out a machine gun and fires several rounds into the waitress.

"BBBBAAAWWWWWW HHHHAAAA HHHHAAAAA HA!" Bella laughs and runs.

"For the love of all that is good and watermelon!" Edward says and runs to the body.

He immediately starts liking the blood off of the floor.

From somewhere in the rafters of the building an assassin waits. When Edward is directly below him he strikes. Down comes a watermelon. A vampire's true weakness! It hits Edward right on the head. Within minutes the fictional character is dead.

Bella walks back inside hesitantly.

"Dear god, No!" She yells seeing her love dead on the floor. "The watermelon finally got to him." She falls to the floor and weeps.

"Don't cry lil' lady. A giant talking hot dog says.

"Hello handsome." Bella says, standing up.

"Come with me. We'll find happiness together." The talking frankfurt said.

Bella runs to the hog dog and kisses him. She pulls away breathing hard.

"I have found my one and only true love" She sighs.

The couple is wed the very next day. Then they go skipping into the sunset.

The End!