I don't know how this piece turned out, I just needed to get this out of my system because my St. Berry feels are out of control because I swear he still loves her. I really don't relate to Rachel, though, so it was difficult for me to write her. But it was a nice challenge! AND OH MY GOD JESSE ST. FLAWLESS FUN TO WRITE.
Also, the bit with Hairspray isn't excerpts from actually script at all, for your information.
Reviews are always appreciated.
...
I finished crying in the instant that you left,
And I can't remember where or when or how,
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made.
...
"Well, if it isn't Rachel Berry."
"Jesse?" She looks up and there he is. Jesse St. James, with a chai tea latte in hand. Which shouldn't be as surprising as it is. She's in New York, and she always knew he would end up here, too, because he's Jesse and Rachel and they're both destined for greatness.
It's strange how much has changed and how little has changed. He's still Jesse and she's still Rachel, just with slightly different haircuts now. Really, she's not much different than the Rachel he first fell in love with, that he's still in love with. She's still got stars in her eyes, mixed with determination. But her dreams seem smaller and sadder. He misses the cut-throat Rachel Berry whose dreams were so big they scared him and would throw her own grandmother under a bus to achieve them.
But it's a little funny they'd end up in the same little Starbucks when New York City is dotted with thousands of them. It's a little funny, almost like fate.
"I see you made it into NYADA." He smiles, knowingly almost. She'll never know that he played a part in getting her here. Maybe it's better that way...
"Yes. Thankfully Madam Tibideaux came to Nationals and saw me perform my absolutely stunning rendition of It's All Coming Back To Me Now. After that how could she not accept me really?" Rachel spits out her words in the quick way she does when she's nervous or angry or worried and Jesse hates to think he makes her uncomfortable.
Egging someone seems to have that effect on people.
"Well, you were amazing. The best you've ever been. Don't tell anyone... But there was no shame in losing to a talent like yours, Rachel Berry." Jesse says, earnestly. Their eyes lock until she breaks away, blushing with that glow in her eyes that compliments always spark.
"Thank you, Jesse. That really means a lot coming from you." Rachel beams, taking a sip from her latte cup.
"So... how's Finn?" He asks nonchalantly, because he has to ask. But he immediately regrets bringing it up because all the lights drains out of her eyes and Rachel suddenly looks like a sad abandoned puppy or something.
"Finn... Finn didn't get into The Actor's Workshop. And now he's joining the military to honor his father's memory..." She takes a deep breath because she's tearing up and next thing they both know she could be sobbing in the middle of Starbucks. "And I think we're on a break, but he kissed me goodbye I don't know. He said he was letting me go to pursue my dreams, so I think we're broken up again and I don't know!"
Jesse has no idea what to say, so he just sweeps her into a hug. It's a little awkward because Rachel's latte cup in smashed between them, but god, he's missed holding her like this and being able smell the lavender shampoo in her hair and suddenly everything in the world just feels like it's going to be alright.
Rachel finally pulls away, sniffling, "I'm sorry. I must look like an idiot poring out all my problems on you."
"I don't mind." Because he doesn't and he never will. As much as Jesse may dislike Finn, he means a to Rachel and Rachel means a lot to Jesse.
A little smile graces her lips, "Thanks."
"Hey well, I've got to go." Jesse says, trying not to notice how she looks slightly disappointed that he has to leave so soon, "But I still have the same number in case you need anything and I'll be seeing you around okay?"
"Okay."
...
But when you touch me like this,
And you hold me like that,
I just have to admit,
That it's all coming back to me,
...
"This is nice. Being friends." Rachel says, as they walk down Times Square because they've started 'casually' hanging out. As friends. "I spent so long being angry at you, I forgot how much we really do have in common."
Jesse looks at her, "Are you still mad at me? I mean, have you forgiven me?"
She's silent for a bit, fiddling with the buttons on her plaid coat, "I don't know."
"You don't know?" He stops and pulls her aside, "After all this time you don't know whether you've forgiven me or not?"
"Well, obviously, I've forgiven you for that whole egging debacle or I wouldn't be here, would I? I'm not mad anymore. Jesse, even though I'm not sure how much of our relationship was real to you. You'll always mean something to me, you know that." Rachel says, earnestly.
"Finn will just always mean more to you than I ever will."
"I love Finn, I do. And I am confident we'll find our way back together." She says quietly, like a reminder, "You do mean a lot to me. But you can't expect me to trust you like I used to, Jesse. Too much has happened. There's too much doubt, too many maybes for me to trust you like that again."
Jesse runs his finger through his hair like Danny Zuko and why can't Rachel be the Sandy to his Danny? Yeah, Danny messes up but then they sing a romantic duet and in the end they ride off into the sunset to the tune of We Go Together.
"Rachel," He sighs, "You don't understand. We are Noah and Allie from The Notebook. We are Jack and Rose from The Titanic!"
"Um, I don't really think so..." Rachel frowns, but she's fighting a smile.
"Okay, maybe those weren't the best examples." Jesse admits, "But, we are the epitome of every single romantic comedy. The dashingly handsome and charming, but woefully misguided male lead has to engage a fake relationship with the beautiful, talented, intelligent female lead. They end up falling in love and the female lead finds out it was all supposed to be a ruse, but along the way the handsome male lead really fell for the beautiful female lead. Then he has to prove to her that he really loves her and they live happily ever after together."
"Jesse," She says softly, "We are not a movie and you are not my Prince Charming. I'm sorry."
"But we are!" Jesse insists, looking into her eyes, but she looks away, "We are 27 Dresses without the closeted bride's maid obsession."
"I love Finn, and we're going to be together again. I know it." Rachel repeats, "We can be friends, though. I want us to be friends."
He exhales, "...Okay."
Just friends, only friends.
...
When I touch you like this,
And I hold you like that,
It's so hard to believe but,
It's all coming back to me.
...
Rachel's babbling away about how Kurt's pursuing fashion, how Santana's auditioning for small roles in soap operas, how Quinn's at the top of her class at Yale and back together with Puck who's taking community college courses in New Haven and thinking about being a police officer, how Mercedes is loving her new life in LA, how Mike is dancing his heart out with a big time company, and how all the Glee Clubbers still at McKinley are doing as Jesse buys their coffees.
Jesse doesn't really care about Kurt or Mercedes or Santana or of them all that much. They've never liked him, so why should he like them? But Rachel cares about all of them a lot and he loves watching her face light up as she rambles on about their lives and their successes.
If Rachel's happy it suddenly doesn't seem to matter that his auditions aren't panning out at all and he's already a month behind on rent and he probably should stop paying for Rachel's coffee because he doesn't have money or a real job.
But he also knows he'll probably pay for her coffee tomorrow and they day after that because Jesse wants to be Rachel's Prince Charming more than anything.
And he can't help notice how she hasn't said a word about Finn. She's mentioning him less and less, like she's finally getting over him or forgetting him or something. Finn never calls and she doesn't say she's in love with him very often.
It really shouldn't make Jesse as happy as it does.
...
There were moments of gold,
And there were flashes of light,
There were things I'd never do again,
But then they'd always seemed right.
...
Jesse is the first one on his feet for her standing ovation when Rachel comes out to take her bows for her production of RENT, clapping until his hands hurt. Because when Rachel Berry performs he swears the Earth stops spinning. And it's not just because he loves her. Okay, maybe it's a little because he loves her. But, it's not just him. Everyone in the theater is on there feet cheering and for a few moments the whole theater is just as in love with Rachel Berry as he is. In the seconds as she comes onto stage to take her bows, he can feel it in the roar of the applause.
Rachel has them all spellbound.
He meets her in the back, outside her dressing room door. Even though NYADA's a prestigious school, Rachel's garnered a lot of fervent admirers for only starring in an amateur college production. Jesse has to wade through people vying to get Rachel's autograph, to finally reach her.
Jesse gallantly hands her a huge bouquet of red roses and kisses her cheek, "You were simply amazing, Rachel. The best Maureen I have ever seen, and I've seen the off-off Broadway production."
Rachel blushes with pleasure like a ripe tomato as a fan shouts out, "Hey, is that your boyfriend?"
"No!" She says more forcefully than she actually means, while Jesse's face falls, "We're not- No."
It takes some serious effort on her part not to look guilty because she made his eyes lose that sparkle they had.
...
There were nights of endless pleasure,
It was more than any laws allow,
Baby, baby.
...
"You're very promising, Jesse." The short blond lady says, peering at him over her square red framed glasses, "Your voice is wonderful, but we haven't seen much of your acting."
"So," continues a tall skinny man wearing a checked tie, "We'd like you the partner with on of our ladies auditioning for the lead female roll and see if you can make us feel anything. Can you be Link Larkin? Can you make the audience swoon for you?"
"No pressure, though!" The slightly tubby lady with with a big gaudy broach on her lapel chirps at him.
Jesse nods as a random actress joins him and they both open their scripts for Hairspray.
The girl is good, not Rachel Berry good, but good. She plays a convincing Tracey to his Link, and suddenly she's demanding if Link loves her.
He pauses and the room is silent, the words stick like glue in his throat and he can feel the director and producers staring him down. And suddenly the girl's face morphs in Rachel's, all big brown eyes and expressive features.
"I love you more than I've ever loved anyone and more than I ever will." Jesse says to the illusion of Rachel, her eyes glowing, softly and sincerely but loud enough for them to hear.
"Oh!" the blond lady says breathlessly, quite taken with his performance.
"Very... very well done, Mr. St. James." The man says, "You can go now, we'll be in touch."
...
If I kiss you like this,
And if you whisper like that,
It was lost long ago,
But it's all coming back to me.
...
He gets the role.
Jesse St. James is going to be Link Larkin, teen heartthrob, in a Broadway production of Hairspray.
After months of being behind on all of his bills, worrying about if he'll have to sell his hair to a wig store if he doesn't find work, Jesse has now a paying job on Broadway.
Jesse gets the call when he and Rachel are strolling through Central Park, discussing in what order they should win their respective Tonys, Emmys, Grammys, and Oscars over croissants. They both scream, scaring passers-by and pigeons alike, and Jesse picks her up and spins her around like their a couple in love in a romantic movie, even though they're not.
"That answers it!" Rachel announces, grinning, "You'll definitely win your Tony first!"
He buys Chinese take-out, the really good kind with spring rolls and nice chopsticks and everything, and they eat it in his apartment while talking about his future Tony acceptance speech.
"And of course, I couldn't of done it without the support of Rachel Barbara Berry, who is my inspiration and has helped me in more ways than she could ever possibly imagine." Jesse says grandly, holding his half empty Cocoa Cola bottle aloft like a Tony.
"You're not going to really say that if you ever get a Tony, are you?" Rachel giggles, stirring her noodles.
"Of course I am!" He says, "It's completely, one hundred percent true, after all."
There's a moment of silence, with there eyes locked. Breaking away from his gaze, Rachel scrambles for their fortune cookies, "Come one, let's read our fortunes!"
She throws him a cookie, and rips the plastic off her own. "You go first, Jesse."
"Okay," He says, breaking open his cookies and wiggling out the slip of paper, "My lucky numbers are 5, 63, 98, and 49. My fortune is, You will experience unexpected surprises."
"That's right!" Rachel says, excitedly, "You got a surprise today!"
Jesse laughs, grinning at her, "It's just a silly little fortune cookie, Rach."
"I'll have you know that they're always right." She huffs at him.
"Read yous then."
Rachel cracks open her fortune cookie and reads it. Suddenly her faces clams up and she crumples up the fortune.
"You're right, they're just stupid little fortunes. They don't mean a thing." She says, getting up to throw in away.
"What? You were just insisting they were always right! Come let me see it!" Jesse demanded, getting up to follow her.
"Jesse, no!" She shrieks, as he manages to wrestles the little strip of paper out of her hands.
"Sometimes what you need is right in front of you." He read aloud, looking up at her.
Then he kissed her. And, in his head, the stars realigned and the angles sang and world made sense again.
If a fortune cookie said that Rachel and Jesse should be together, who was he to argue?
"No!" Rachel broke away from him, "No, I can't, Jesse."
"Why not?"
"Because of- because of Finn!" She said, biting her lip.
"You're not dating Finn, Rachel. Why should he matter?" Jesse said angrily.
"Stop it, Jesse. Stop making me remember." She's angry and frustrated by the look in his eyes, "I have Finn and we're going to get married because that's what we're going to do and I don't need you... complicating things!"
"Why?"Jesse shouted,"Why are you waiting for Finn? Why can't you see I'm here and I love you and I've always loved you, Rachel!"
"...You love me?" Rachel asks, in this small voice, so afraid.
He nods.
...
If you want me like this,
And if you need me like that,
It was dead long ago,
But it's all coming back to me.
...
So she kisses him because as long as Jesse loves her it all comes back to her in technicolor and she can remember.
...
It's so hard to resist,
And it's all coming back to me.
I can barely recall,
But it's all coming back to me now,
But it's all coming back.
...