I was crying. I hurt him... not once but twice. He should hate me... I hate me. If he forgave me that would be great, but I'd never forget myself.
I sat on the floor in my room and took out a blade. I hurt him I deserve to suffer. I deserve to feel all the pain he did. I started to cut my leg pressing the blade down hard. I know it's wrong, but I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop cutting, crying, wishing I could turn back the clock, loving him, being sorry, wanting him, missing him, hoping he'd forgive me, dreaming of us being back together... I couldn't stop... I cut his four letter name into my leg. N-I-C-O. Blood poured out onto the carpeted floor. It hurt, but it wasn't enough. I cut deeply into my wrist; once, twice, thrice, four times. I did the same to my other arm. Four deep cuts. It hurt like hell... but it still wasn't enough. I cut his name into my other leg, nice and deep like the first time. I could feel myself slipping away. Maybe now he'd forgive me... maybe now I've felt the same pain he has, I thought. Black spots danced around in my vision as my blood continued to flow.
I felt myself fall back dropping the blade. My eyes were hard to keep open, but I didn't try to fight it. I embraced it. My eyes closed never to be opened again and my breath stop. Blood still pouring out, I laid there dead.
It's been awhile... I don't know if I want to keep writing here. I might go to some other websites... So I hope you didn't hate my what could be last story...
I'm going to apologize to the one I'm writing this for... whether he reads it or not... I'm so so sorry. I really am... beyond words.
That's all I have to say for now... maybe forever...
~Shay D'Angelo