Well...this is kind of a weird one. Not sure what sort of headspace I was in when I wrote this, lol. So, I love this song, and actually thought that this fit her perfectly. The song is "Fear The Fever" by Digital Daggers, and it's not even optional to not listen to it while reading this, lol. It makes it so much better! If you wanted, (and I would seriously recommend it) you could search the lyrics to the song before reading this.
It'll make so much more sense. So, I picture this being after Corto Maltese and Nanda Parbat, but before they find out about the bloodlust. It's really confusing at points, but like, I've only watched a few full episodes of Arrow, and mostly just a bunch of clips. :/ But, I still hope that you like it, and are kind enough to leave a review. ;) I'll love ya' for life!
Disclaimer: Um...I don't own it...sorry...this is...awkward...(lol, what am I even doing, anymore?)
A chill runs down Thea's spine as she walks away from the corpse at her feet, calmly bringing up a hand to her lips to brush away the blood on her chin.
Her movements are slow, and all too calm. She's used to this by now.
Used to the life her brother has lived for many years. Living in Corto Maltese and training with her real father has changed her. For better or for worse could be easily argued. Was it for the best in her mind? Absolutely. But did she agree with this lifestyle? That was more complicated.
She was...dangerous now.
Deadly, even.
She had seen the light in too many people's eyes leave, and dull. She had seen their final moments, the way the light in their eyes dimmed, and they became glazed over as they headed to their final resting place.
But the scary part?
She had been the reason.
She had personally killed all of those people. And she had hardly even broken a sweat over it. The first time she had taken somebody's life, had almost been too much. But it was to save her own life. It had been a man, in his mid-thirties; a street rat.
Had nothing to live for, and had tried to steal her purse and kill her with a knife.
But that didn't mean that all of those reasons had justified her actions. At the time, she would often awake from nightmares because she had killed somebody. But now...she hardly even blinked at it. Thea continues to walk away from the battlefield where many corpse's lay.
A test, her father had said. This is all a test for your better being. You wanted to become stronger, correct? Then this is the only way.
She could still hear his words, feel her heart breaking when she had realized that he had set up all of those lives to be lost, at her hands, just so that she could become better. And there was no doubt in Thea's mind that he continued to do so.
Even after leaving _, her father continued to challenge her. Are you proud of me, dad? She thinks bitterly. Are you proud of what you've made me? She didn't trust Malcolm anymore after finding out the truth. She didn't trust anybody anymore. She couldn't trust her father, she couldn't trust her brother, she couldn't even trust Roy.
But the worse part?
She couldn't even trust herself. Things had changed when she had left with Malcolm. Little did everyone know just how much things would change. She wasn't a little, spoiled girl anymore.
She had matured.
Thea had experienced far too many things in her young life, and nobody would ever know just what exactly they were. She sees Roy, and finds out he wants to get back together. They do, end up getting back together when she learns more of the truth, but a part of feels as if she should warn him before it's too late. She's dangerous, she tells him.
She's deadly. But nobody seems to realize just how lethal she is. Deep down, there's like a fever burning inside of her. It craves destruction. It manipulates until it gets it's way.
And if it doesn't?
Then it kills.
She can't control it; believe her, she has tried. But it's unstoppable. Undefeatable. It burns inside of her like an ember sparks in a forest fire.
It starts off small, almost majestic, even, but before you know it, before you even get the chance to stop it, it's already turned into a deadly forest fire; raging out of control as it burns everything.
It leaves nothing behind except for the blackened coal that was once it's victim. Nothing can stop it, nor can it defeat it. And everyday it grows. And after her little 'trip' to Nanda Parbat, the fever had grown.
Grown into something much stronger, much worse, and most importantly, much more deadly.
Thea tries to warn those around her, tells Roy that he needs to let her leave before it's too late. But he believes that he can save her. Foolish, the fever whispers in her subconscious as she walks down the darkened alley, nothing can control me. It can't be stopped, yet he still believes that it can be.
She knows that it's just taking him along for the ride, and is only building him up so that it can tear him back down and enjoy every last moment of it. Her hands are bloodied, covered in a fresh, scarlet red that glistens in the moonlight and told her the monster that she truly was.
Is.
She's becoming the fever that is rapidly growing inside of her, threatening to swallow her whole as she's drowning in it.
She couldn't even save herself, so what makes everyone else seem to believe that they can? She wants to blame her father for this, but she knows the truth; she was always destined to become this way.
Seems to run in the family, she muses as she thinks about her mother. She was sentenced to this fate from day one. She had even been brought into the world in a sheet of darkness.
Conceived in a morally wrong way.
She was doomed to be a monster before she had even taken her first breath. She didn't understand why those around her weren't leaving; running for their lives while they still could. Maybe they really were naive enough to believe that there was still good in her.
She wasn't sure why they were so set on making her good, and bringing out the best in her, as they say.
At least, eventually Roy had left, but it was to save Oliver. It had nothing to do with her. He still hadn't believed her. Maybe, she thinks, they could have saved her before Nanda Parbat.
But now, they can't.
And now, she realizes after she has broken a man's arm, and they're all back in the Arrow Cave; Oliver chewing her out, that they never can. She can just feel this anger burning inside of her, raging on for no apparent reason. And that's when she knows that it was too late.
They were too late; too foolish enough to leave.
They wouldn't be able to now, and as the one part of her that's still good, desperate and pleading as it's swallowed by the fever in her own subconscious, her own soul, choked by the burning fire that sparks in her bones, the fever rages. It becomes her.
Or maybe she becomes it.
Either way, Thea is gone, and has been replaced by a seething monster who only has eyes on destruction. It wants to kill. It doesn't care who, it just does.
And Oliver gets caught in the rage.
But it was holding back, she muses, wait for a better time, it whispers inside of her, like an animal preying on it's victim.
After a while, it releases her back into her own mind, but not without a warning first; stay quiet, and no one gets hurt. It's a lie, but does she really want to take that chance? So she cowers, and shies away. Because whether or not the monster inside of her was lying, or not, she can't afford to hurt those around her.
You should have let us leave, the fever inside of her whispers bitterly to those around her, and she shudders, because now it's considering them as the same person.
No, it's considering them as the same monster.
Nothing was for certain in this life, but there would always be one thing that she would know for sure, no matter what happens.
She would always fear the fever.
Yep...kind of creepy. But hey, it was fun writing it, so, what difference does it make? ;P