Watching over me
What could have happened after the phone call in New Moon – song Hilary Duff 'Someone's watching over me'
I found myself today
Oh, I found myself and ran away
Back something pulled me back
A voice of reason I forgot I had
"It's Edward," Alice breathed.
My whole world froze.
"He's going to the Volturi."
Jacob was glowering at Alice now, but he still had a firm grasp on my hand – that was good, he could keep that hole away, for a while at least.
"She isn't going to save him. He left her – she's only just getting better! You love him! He's your 'brother'!" Jacob spat the word at her like that fact that it was linked to Ed-Edward made it dirty. "You save him."
"I can't! Only Bella can!" Alice screamed back. I was slightly in shock – Alice, screaming?
"It's Bella's choice," Jacob said, finality heavy in his voice.
Alice looked at me hopefully. This was it – this was the choice that I had to make, now, not ten seconds ago when Jacob was about to kiss me. Now. Between Edward – the first love of my life, who had hurt me so much, Who sent me crazy, who's illogical words of perfection still consumed me, or Jacob, calm, reasonable Jacob, who had waited for me, who loved me equally – I didn't feel out of place with him.
All I know is you're not here to say
What you're always used to say
But it's written in the sky tonight.
"Bella?" Alice asked, hurt and insecurity? In her voice. "Bella, you're disappearing. I can't see you anymore,"
I looked up at Jacob. I had my resolve. I leant against his shoulder. For once, Edward wasn't barking in my brain to be careful. He was … gone.
My eyes shot outside, expecting the dream to end, but only the stars shone brightly.
"Bella?" Alice whispered.
"I love you Bells," Jake whispered.
And I knew. I had made my choice.
So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me
"I can't Alice," I whispered, knowing I was breaking more than just one heart here. "I don't … I just …"
"It's okay. I'll try and save him. If I can't … do you want to know?"
I nodded, feeling selfish – I couldn't save him, so why should I care about his outcome?
And Alice was gone.
I collapsed onto Jacob, crying hysterically. I felt a weight lift of me, but it felt like I had been thrown into darkness. I was standing in the dark once more – this time, Edward wasn't ever going to be coming back.
I seen that ray of light
And it's shining on my destiny
Shining all the time
And I won't be afraid
To follow everywhere it's taking me
"Bella, Bells baby, its okay," Jake crooned as he stroked my back.
My sun. My personal sun. I felt the darkness begin to lift, just a little
I had just chosen my destiny – one of sunshine instead of one of twilight.
All I know is yesterday is gone
And right now I belong
To this moment to my dreams
"Oh Gods, Bella, I love you," Jake whispered.
I hiccuped. "I … I love …"
I could feel Jake smile – I couldn't even say the words properly, but he under stood.
"I know Bells," he whispered, kissing my hand, rocking me slightly.
And, for that one moment, I felt happy, I felt properly loved. I didn't want that moment to ever end.
So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me
No more giving up, I promised myself as my crying came under control. No more break downs, melt downs, or jumping off cliffs.
"My Bella," Jake crooned as he sat me on the bench top. "My strong Bella. You chose me?"
I bit back a sarcastic reply – this wasn't the time. "Always you."
He very gently then, his eyes on me the whole time, pressed his lips to mine – only for a second or two, but enough to stop my heart, and make my breath become raggard.
"Always," he whispered back.
And it doesn't matter what people say
And it doesn't matter how long it takes
Believe in yourself and you'll find
Charlie walked in a few minutes later – I was almost completely in control of myself then, thanks to Jake.
"Bella? Where's Alice?"
"She had to go to Italy – to save Ed-Edward," I could think his name, but saying it – after so long still hurt.
"And Jake is here…?" He asked, though I could tell that there was a smile coming.
"Because she needs me," Jake whispered, holding my hand firmly. The heat felt good.
Charlie grinned, showing – for a moment – the old charm and beauty that got him Renee in the first place. He grinned at Jake before walking atraight to the phone.
Oh God, were my only thoughts, and I buried my head in Jake's shoulder once more.
And it only matter how true you are
Be true to yourself and follow your heart
I realized, that after I chose Jake, my heart felt lighter too, It felt good.
It felt, for the first time in a long time, full, true, honest. It felt love.
I knew I had made the right choice.
So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Jake lifted my chin, and kissed me again. I felt the fire in his touch, and my arms automatically snaked around his neck, my hands to his silky, black hair.
My life really had turned around.
Then I won't give up
Now I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even when it all goes wrong
when I standing in the dark I'll still believe
That Someone's watching over
Someone's watching over
Someone's watching over me
That night, when Charlie was asleep, Jake came back into my room, via the window.
Before I could even say a word, heated lips met mine.
"Get some sleep Bella," he whispered. He must have noticed how tired I was. "I'm here, watching over you."
I nodded, and he lay down next to me. I used his chest as a pillow, and his arm automatically went around me, making me warm.
"My Jacob," I whispered before sleep overtook me.