Well, this is my latest piece of (Cori – Now now…) story writing? (Cori –
*Shaking head in disbelief*) It's that one that Cori was buggin me about…
yeah… um… so please R/R. Thanx.
Cori – Don't forget to visit her website! At: http://www.geocities.com/chibi_teazer/index.html
I can't believe you made me do that… I hate you…
Or you can mail me at:
rumpleteazers_mingvase@hotmail.com
ONTO THE FIC!!
That ficcie that Coricopat was bugging me about to write about him…. (phew)
Okay.. lemme see… where do I start??
(Cori – Try a beginning…)
Der…
Okay, how's this:
Cori was sitting on the old car one day
(Cori – One day??) (What's the matter with that????) (Cori – It's stupid!!)
Fine then.. how about this??:
Cori was sitting placidly early on Monday of last week on the car contempl.. (Cori – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!)
Okay… lets see….:
Coricopat was cleaning himself on Monday of last week when Rumpleteazer walked past.
(Cori – Why do all your fics HAVE to include Teazer??) (Ummm…..)
Okay.. lets try fourth time lucky…
Coricopat was cleaning himself on Monday of last week when Munkustrap walked past.
(hah! Can't argue with that!!) (Cori – Pah!)
Munkustrap seemed to be in deep thought. So Coricopat being the nosey pain in the (Cori – Yes, we know that you hate me but no strong language please, you'll upset the kitties.) (ooh.. who's mister responsible…) decided to find out what was wrong. So he delved (Cori – I do NOT delve) he decided to dive into Munku's mind and find out the problem. Once he had he was damn annoyed with himself for doing it (Cori – I do not like the sound of this….). Munku had a crush on Tantomile!! (Cori – YOU SCRAP THAT LAST SENTENCE OR I CLAW YOUR FACE TO SMITHEREENS!!!!) (Uhh… yeah… not so 'mister responsible' now huh?) (Cori – SCRAP IT OR ELSE!!) (ok! ok!) Munku had his mind on a different queen. And it wasn't in 'that' way. He was concerned about a certain queen and tom (Cori – Oh god… lemme guess…) (Actually yes it was them!) who had just nicked the heart of the desert (Cori – What a lame-a$$ pun), a diamond worth more than the hope diamond. (Cori – Funny that…) Coricopat jumped off… um where were you sitting? (Cori – you never actually said) Oh… Coricopat walked over to his friend. (Cori – He's not my…. Oh.. um…)
"What's up?" (Cori – I am not an American rapper. I do not say "what's up".)
"What is the matter Munkustrap?" (Cori – Neither am I a snooty up-class snob!)
"What's the matter?" (Cori – Thankyou)
"Oh, it's that notorious duo again. They've stolen the heart of the desert. They're gonna be kicked out of Victoria Grove for sure!"
"Oh dear! That's terrible!"(Cori – Since when did I become a whingeing, withering queen??) (Since now…)
"Can I ask you to do something for me?" (Cori – This sounds very baaaadddd…..)
"Of course! I'll do anything for you! (Cori – Scrap that last sentence. I am not in luuurrvee with Munkustrap… you dope….)
"Sure Munku. What do you want me to do?"
"I want you and Tantomile (Cori – I like this sentence already) to delve (Cori – I've already said once that I do not DELVE!!)
"I want you and Tantomile to go inside Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer's minds and see what motivates them to steal from everyone!" (Cori - I already know the answer to that… they're bloody kleptomaniacs…)
"Um… alright then." Said Coricopat
"Good, thank you. Could you go and talk to Tantomile."
"Sure." (Cori – Oooh! I've turned all American have I?) (Nothing wrong with that….)
So Coricopat… (How tempting it is to say that he contemplated life…. Humph) went of in search of Tantomile. He saw her sitting (Cori – Tantomile deserves a nice description ok!!??) (Fine then..)
He went in search of her. He noticed that most of the queens were gathered together in a bunch talking about the heart of the desert's disappearance. It was then that he saw her beautiful lithe, black body stretched out on the old car, listening intently to Bombalurina's recount of the theft. Her fur shimmered in the light, in such a way that only magical cats can shimmer. Her eyes were bright as she laughed at one of Bombi's silly jokes about the notorious duo. Coricopat tried to get her attention but failed dismally, she was having to much fun so he decided to leave her there. (Cori – Would not.) (You are that heartless that you would take your 'beloved' away from fun?) (Cori – 0o0o0o0o0o0o0) (Huh??) (Cori – Goldfish noises according to JestaAriadne…) (Have you been into my diary again??!?!?!?!?) (Cori – Er… was that file on your computer a diary….?) (AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! YOU MONSTER!!!!!!)
He wandered out of the junkyard (Cori – Cats don't 'wander' they strut or they saunter but not wander).. Fine then! He strutted out of the junkyard and immediately banged into the Rum Tum Tugger who had a rather interesting 'head gear' that day.
"What the heck are you doing Tugg?" he asked incredulously.
"Cori?!?!"
"Last time I checked I was." (Cori – *Voice dripping with sarcasm* Maybe I should check more often?)
"Quick! Help me get this off before the girls see me!"
"What is it??"
Coricopat listened intently as Tugger re-layed the story for the morning. He had been running down the hall of his home looking over his shoulder to make sure that the family pollicle wasn't gaining on him so he didn't notice the lampshade that was in front of him. So he landed right inside it. It was now stuck so that you could only see half of his mane and his eyes.
"umm… that's all very well but how do I get it off??"
"PULL!!!"
(Cori – Der…)
"Oh.. alright then."
So Coricopat pulled but to no avail. The lampshade was stick on his head. Coricopat sat down next to a writhing Tugger.
"This is not gunna work." (Cori – Gunna?!)
"Wot the' 'ell are ya doin'?" said a male voice from behind the two.
"Jerrie?!?!?" said Tugger. "Teazer's not with ya is she??"
A very sharp giggle was heard at that point. (Cori – Why has the giggle and the 'shhh' become their trademark??)
"Groan.." said Tugger.
"I was supposed to be finding you actually." Said Coricopat thoughtfully.
"Wot abaht?"
"Ar… the thingy that you stole."
"Yeah?"
"Wanna know why you took it?"
"Cause I' woz reeli pre'ty."
"That the only reason?"
"Yeah."
"You realise that you could be kicked out of Victoria Grove for that??"
(Cori – They already have been. Twice.) (They have?!?!?!) (Cori – You don't think the family just say "It's that horrible cat" do you?) (Um yeah) (Cori – Well they don't! Last time they had to sleep in the vegie patch!)
"Well, yes."
"So why are you doing it?"
"EXCUSE ME??? HELLOO!!! WHAT ABOUT ME!!!" said a rather annoyed Tugger who at that point looked like a storm trooper. (Star Wars)
"Go to the junkyard. I'll message Tanti and she'll do something about it."
"Fine!"
Coricopat was so glad that he was gone that he forgot to message Tanti.
"Now! I have been sent to find you an alternative to stealing."
(Cori – Aint gonna happen. Those two are so addicted to stealing that you can't change them!) (Who said I was going to?) (Cori – Oh..)
"Huh?"
"Wot?"
"Please tell me you know what that means?" (Cori – They aren't stupid. They do understand English you fool.) (Blah blah blah)
"Um.." they said looking at each other in confusion.
"We got'a go now.." said Mungojerrie backing slowly down the alleyway they had appeared from. Cori watched with amusement as they scampered away. There was nothing at all to be done about those two and both he and Munkustrap knew it. (Cori – Everyone knows it… dope..) (WOULD YOU STOP INSULTING ME!!!!!!) (Cori – OOOOooohhh!! Scary!!!!) He wandered back to the junkyard and heard various shouts and screams. Mainly directed to himself.
'Uh oh..' he thought… 'this isn't gonna be good'.
He slunk into the junkyard to find Tugger the centre of attention. But not in the normal way. Indeed he was very enraged. (Cori – Tugger doesn't get enraged..) (You aint seen nuthing yet!)
"Coricopat!!!!!!!!" he was yelling at the top of his voice.
"Um.." he said before hiding and trying to contact Tantomile.
'What's going on?' he asked her. (Through thought speak or the equivalent of that)
'Um.. were you supposed to tell me about Tugger's little shall we say 'accident'?'
"Oh $h!t…." he said
'I assume you didn't' said Tantomile knowing full well what he had just said.
'Uh yeah… sorry…'
'You should be the one saying sorry not me… cause you are gonna be the sorry one after this…'
'Yeah well…' (Cori – Yeah well?) (Go jump)
Coricopat slunk out of his hiding place. A plan formulating in his head.
"Tugger!!" he yelled.
All the cats looked up at the Kamikaze cat. Once Tugger was angry at someone you DON'T give yourself up. It was the first thing that they learned as kits! Tugger's eyes were flaming as he advanced up the pile of garbage that Cori was standing on. All the cats watched as he jumped over old banana skins and bits of eggshell. But then he jumped over (Remember he's still got the lampshade on his head) (Cori – How could we forget??) an old sandwich bag and fell on top of a three week old tuna sandwich that even Asparagus, the tribe's live garbage bin, wouldn't eat. (Cori – That was a bit mean.) (I could have had you as the garbage bin.) (Cori – Oh.) He slipped on it and fell over backwards. All the cats made come sort of noise, be it screaming, cheering or 'oh no's' they were all riveted to their positions. He fell over backwards yelling curses that made even Etccy and Leccy cover their ears in shock. His head went through his feet as he rolled down the hill. And as his head continued to roll down hill with his feet around it the lampshade began coming loose.
"I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS CORIC—CC___ooo__Pa---RRR!!!"
Well, you'd say things funny too if you were rolling down a hill. (Cori – Please… continue…I'm dying to know if I die.. hah ahha! Dying to know if I'll die!!) (Lame…)
Tugger finally came to a halt at the bottom of the mound not before hitting the microwave on the other side of the junkyard though. He sat up and shook his head. Something was wrong. Not wrong… something was different.. He looked down and let out a scream. Not of anger but of joy. He ran up the hill and reached the top in two seconds flat.
"THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!"
Said Tugger before squeezing Coricopat so hard that he had no air to say 'get off me'.
"*Ahem*". Said a voice from behind. "MINE!"
(Cori – She's not that spoilt.) (Don't you like a little romance in the story?) (Cori – Well…) Tugger let go so that Tantomile could make sure there were no broken bones.
"I still hate you though. For not telling Tantomile before."
"Oh.. great.."
He and Tantomile decided to retire to their den. It was late that night when they heard a 'giggle' and a 'shhh'. And then a yell of
"GET OUTTA HERE!!! YOU'RE IN THE VEGGIE PATCH TONIGHT!!!"
Tantomile curled closer to her mate.
"They're at it again…" she sighed before slipping into dreamland.
"Yeah… guess I failed then…"
And that's where I'm gonna leave it for now. Coricopat's a failure, Coricopat's a failure, Coricopat's a failure, Coricopat's a failure, Coricopat's a failure, Coricopat's a failure, Coricopat's a failure
(Cori – Ahem.. get over it… you made this rubbish up anyway…)
Bleagh…..
Cori – Don't forget to visit her website! At: http://www.geocities.com/chibi_teazer/index.html
I can't believe you made me do that… I hate you…
Or you can mail me at:
rumpleteazers_mingvase@hotmail.com
ONTO THE FIC!!
That ficcie that Coricopat was bugging me about to write about him…. (phew)
Okay.. lemme see… where do I start??
(Cori – Try a beginning…)
Der…
Okay, how's this:
Cori was sitting on the old car one day
(Cori – One day??) (What's the matter with that????) (Cori – It's stupid!!)
Fine then.. how about this??:
Cori was sitting placidly early on Monday of last week on the car contempl.. (Cori – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!)
Okay… lets see….:
Coricopat was cleaning himself on Monday of last week when Rumpleteazer walked past.
(Cori – Why do all your fics HAVE to include Teazer??) (Ummm…..)
Okay.. lets try fourth time lucky…
Coricopat was cleaning himself on Monday of last week when Munkustrap walked past.
(hah! Can't argue with that!!) (Cori – Pah!)
Munkustrap seemed to be in deep thought. So Coricopat being the nosey pain in the (Cori – Yes, we know that you hate me but no strong language please, you'll upset the kitties.) (ooh.. who's mister responsible…) decided to find out what was wrong. So he delved (Cori – I do NOT delve) he decided to dive into Munku's mind and find out the problem. Once he had he was damn annoyed with himself for doing it (Cori – I do not like the sound of this….). Munku had a crush on Tantomile!! (Cori – YOU SCRAP THAT LAST SENTENCE OR I CLAW YOUR FACE TO SMITHEREENS!!!!) (Uhh… yeah… not so 'mister responsible' now huh?) (Cori – SCRAP IT OR ELSE!!) (ok! ok!) Munku had his mind on a different queen. And it wasn't in 'that' way. He was concerned about a certain queen and tom (Cori – Oh god… lemme guess…) (Actually yes it was them!) who had just nicked the heart of the desert (Cori – What a lame-a$$ pun), a diamond worth more than the hope diamond. (Cori – Funny that…) Coricopat jumped off… um where were you sitting? (Cori – you never actually said) Oh… Coricopat walked over to his friend. (Cori – He's not my…. Oh.. um…)
"What's up?" (Cori – I am not an American rapper. I do not say "what's up".)
"What is the matter Munkustrap?" (Cori – Neither am I a snooty up-class snob!)
"What's the matter?" (Cori – Thankyou)
"Oh, it's that notorious duo again. They've stolen the heart of the desert. They're gonna be kicked out of Victoria Grove for sure!"
"Oh dear! That's terrible!"(Cori – Since when did I become a whingeing, withering queen??) (Since now…)
"Can I ask you to do something for me?" (Cori – This sounds very baaaadddd…..)
"Of course! I'll do anything for you! (Cori – Scrap that last sentence. I am not in luuurrvee with Munkustrap… you dope….)
"Sure Munku. What do you want me to do?"
"I want you and Tantomile (Cori – I like this sentence already) to delve (Cori – I've already said once that I do not DELVE!!)
"I want you and Tantomile to go inside Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer's minds and see what motivates them to steal from everyone!" (Cori - I already know the answer to that… they're bloody kleptomaniacs…)
"Um… alright then." Said Coricopat
"Good, thank you. Could you go and talk to Tantomile."
"Sure." (Cori – Oooh! I've turned all American have I?) (Nothing wrong with that….)
So Coricopat… (How tempting it is to say that he contemplated life…. Humph) went of in search of Tantomile. He saw her sitting (Cori – Tantomile deserves a nice description ok!!??) (Fine then..)
He went in search of her. He noticed that most of the queens were gathered together in a bunch talking about the heart of the desert's disappearance. It was then that he saw her beautiful lithe, black body stretched out on the old car, listening intently to Bombalurina's recount of the theft. Her fur shimmered in the light, in such a way that only magical cats can shimmer. Her eyes were bright as she laughed at one of Bombi's silly jokes about the notorious duo. Coricopat tried to get her attention but failed dismally, she was having to much fun so he decided to leave her there. (Cori – Would not.) (You are that heartless that you would take your 'beloved' away from fun?) (Cori – 0o0o0o0o0o0o0) (Huh??) (Cori – Goldfish noises according to JestaAriadne…) (Have you been into my diary again??!?!?!?!?) (Cori – Er… was that file on your computer a diary….?) (AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! YOU MONSTER!!!!!!)
He wandered out of the junkyard (Cori – Cats don't 'wander' they strut or they saunter but not wander).. Fine then! He strutted out of the junkyard and immediately banged into the Rum Tum Tugger who had a rather interesting 'head gear' that day.
"What the heck are you doing Tugg?" he asked incredulously.
"Cori?!?!"
"Last time I checked I was." (Cori – *Voice dripping with sarcasm* Maybe I should check more often?)
"Quick! Help me get this off before the girls see me!"
"What is it??"
Coricopat listened intently as Tugger re-layed the story for the morning. He had been running down the hall of his home looking over his shoulder to make sure that the family pollicle wasn't gaining on him so he didn't notice the lampshade that was in front of him. So he landed right inside it. It was now stuck so that you could only see half of his mane and his eyes.
"umm… that's all very well but how do I get it off??"
"PULL!!!"
(Cori – Der…)
"Oh.. alright then."
So Coricopat pulled but to no avail. The lampshade was stick on his head. Coricopat sat down next to a writhing Tugger.
"This is not gunna work." (Cori – Gunna?!)
"Wot the' 'ell are ya doin'?" said a male voice from behind the two.
"Jerrie?!?!?" said Tugger. "Teazer's not with ya is she??"
A very sharp giggle was heard at that point. (Cori – Why has the giggle and the 'shhh' become their trademark??)
"Groan.." said Tugger.
"I was supposed to be finding you actually." Said Coricopat thoughtfully.
"Wot abaht?"
"Ar… the thingy that you stole."
"Yeah?"
"Wanna know why you took it?"
"Cause I' woz reeli pre'ty."
"That the only reason?"
"Yeah."
"You realise that you could be kicked out of Victoria Grove for that??"
(Cori – They already have been. Twice.) (They have?!?!?!) (Cori – You don't think the family just say "It's that horrible cat" do you?) (Um yeah) (Cori – Well they don't! Last time they had to sleep in the vegie patch!)
"Well, yes."
"So why are you doing it?"
"EXCUSE ME??? HELLOO!!! WHAT ABOUT ME!!!" said a rather annoyed Tugger who at that point looked like a storm trooper. (Star Wars)
"Go to the junkyard. I'll message Tanti and she'll do something about it."
"Fine!"
Coricopat was so glad that he was gone that he forgot to message Tanti.
"Now! I have been sent to find you an alternative to stealing."
(Cori – Aint gonna happen. Those two are so addicted to stealing that you can't change them!) (Who said I was going to?) (Cori – Oh..)
"Huh?"
"Wot?"
"Please tell me you know what that means?" (Cori – They aren't stupid. They do understand English you fool.) (Blah blah blah)
"Um.." they said looking at each other in confusion.
"We got'a go now.." said Mungojerrie backing slowly down the alleyway they had appeared from. Cori watched with amusement as they scampered away. There was nothing at all to be done about those two and both he and Munkustrap knew it. (Cori – Everyone knows it… dope..) (WOULD YOU STOP INSULTING ME!!!!!!) (Cori – OOOOooohhh!! Scary!!!!) He wandered back to the junkyard and heard various shouts and screams. Mainly directed to himself.
'Uh oh..' he thought… 'this isn't gonna be good'.
He slunk into the junkyard to find Tugger the centre of attention. But not in the normal way. Indeed he was very enraged. (Cori – Tugger doesn't get enraged..) (You aint seen nuthing yet!)
"Coricopat!!!!!!!!" he was yelling at the top of his voice.
"Um.." he said before hiding and trying to contact Tantomile.
'What's going on?' he asked her. (Through thought speak or the equivalent of that)
'Um.. were you supposed to tell me about Tugger's little shall we say 'accident'?'
"Oh $h!t…." he said
'I assume you didn't' said Tantomile knowing full well what he had just said.
'Uh yeah… sorry…'
'You should be the one saying sorry not me… cause you are gonna be the sorry one after this…'
'Yeah well…' (Cori – Yeah well?) (Go jump)
Coricopat slunk out of his hiding place. A plan formulating in his head.
"Tugger!!" he yelled.
All the cats looked up at the Kamikaze cat. Once Tugger was angry at someone you DON'T give yourself up. It was the first thing that they learned as kits! Tugger's eyes were flaming as he advanced up the pile of garbage that Cori was standing on. All the cats watched as he jumped over old banana skins and bits of eggshell. But then he jumped over (Remember he's still got the lampshade on his head) (Cori – How could we forget??) an old sandwich bag and fell on top of a three week old tuna sandwich that even Asparagus, the tribe's live garbage bin, wouldn't eat. (Cori – That was a bit mean.) (I could have had you as the garbage bin.) (Cori – Oh.) He slipped on it and fell over backwards. All the cats made come sort of noise, be it screaming, cheering or 'oh no's' they were all riveted to their positions. He fell over backwards yelling curses that made even Etccy and Leccy cover their ears in shock. His head went through his feet as he rolled down the hill. And as his head continued to roll down hill with his feet around it the lampshade began coming loose.
"I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS CORIC—CC___ooo__Pa---RRR!!!"
Well, you'd say things funny too if you were rolling down a hill. (Cori – Please… continue…I'm dying to know if I die.. hah ahha! Dying to know if I'll die!!) (Lame…)
Tugger finally came to a halt at the bottom of the mound not before hitting the microwave on the other side of the junkyard though. He sat up and shook his head. Something was wrong. Not wrong… something was different.. He looked down and let out a scream. Not of anger but of joy. He ran up the hill and reached the top in two seconds flat.
"THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!"
Said Tugger before squeezing Coricopat so hard that he had no air to say 'get off me'.
"*Ahem*". Said a voice from behind. "MINE!"
(Cori – She's not that spoilt.) (Don't you like a little romance in the story?) (Cori – Well…) Tugger let go so that Tantomile could make sure there were no broken bones.
"I still hate you though. For not telling Tantomile before."
"Oh.. great.."
He and Tantomile decided to retire to their den. It was late that night when they heard a 'giggle' and a 'shhh'. And then a yell of
"GET OUTTA HERE!!! YOU'RE IN THE VEGGIE PATCH TONIGHT!!!"
Tantomile curled closer to her mate.
"They're at it again…" she sighed before slipping into dreamland.
"Yeah… guess I failed then…"
And that's where I'm gonna leave it for now. Coricopat's a failure, Coricopat's a failure, Coricopat's a failure, Coricopat's a failure, Coricopat's a failure, Coricopat's a failure, Coricopat's a failure
(Cori – Ahem.. get over it… you made this rubbish up anyway…)
Bleagh…..