Today was going to be different. It was not going to start with the familiar sensation of the razor pulling across my flesh nor end with tears trickling down my cheeks anymore, for I have finally gathered the courage.

The courage to accept that he was gone for good.

I stomped around my apartment, picking up anything that held even the most remote hint of our previous relationship and chucked them into an open cardboard box beside the door. It was both physically and emotionally draining, really. Every single item I touched forced me to replay memories of how it was connected to him but the pain wasn't enough to hold me back, not now. Not today.

Having done my 'spring cleaning', I closed the box and carried it under one arm, shoving a lighter into my pocket with the other before leaving the building. There were some fuel jerry-cans outside the car workshop beside my place. I used to think that they were an eye sore but not any longer. In a flash, I grabbed one that felt slightly heavy and ran for all I was worth, praying that the workshop wouldn't miss it.

I ran and ran until I reached the clearing behind my ex-lover's house. It wasn't suprising to note that there was a pair of heels next to his sneakers at the back door. He was a notorious bisexual playboy after all, his slick charm being one of the very reasons why I fell so hard for him. However I didn't come here to reminisce, I came here to gain closure.

After setting the cardboard box down, I deftly unscrewed the cap of the jerry-can, the sharp smell of gasoline filling the air while I poured the substance onto the ground in a mini circle. The back door opened but I ignored it as I emptied the contents of the box into the circle: a white dress shirt that was his, the CDs he bought for my birthday, ticket stubs of our movie dates, the pink rabbit plushie he won for me at the arcade, several condoms and finally, a pair of tennis shoes that was handed down to me from him. A deep voice hollered, making me pause in my actions.

'Allen..? I thought I made it crystal clear that we're over!'

'We are over,Lavi!', I yelled back to the red-head.

'Then what the hell are you doing here? To grovel at my feet and ask me to return to you? And what's with those stuff on the ground and the stink in the air?'

'Hell no,you son of a bi-'

I cut off when a half-undressed girl sidled up beside Lavi, sliding her hands down his front.

'Awww~ come on,tiger! Don't pay any mind to him and let's get back to business...',she whined loudly and batted her eyelashes seductively at him.

That did it. I poured the remaining gasoline on the things inside the mini circle, an all too familiar seething mixture of hurt and jealousy gnawing mercilessly at my heart. Lavi's and the bitch's eyes widened when I pulled out the lighter from my pocket as I moved further and further away.

'I didn't come here to beg for you to return and break my heart once again, bastard. I came here to prove to you and myself that we are definitely history. Forever.'

Without hesitation, I flicked the lighter on and immediately threw it at the pile of things, smirking at their horrified expressions as smouldering huge crimson flames burst forth and ravaged everything in its way. In minutes the flames hungrily approached the house, making him and the girl flee through the front door in hysterics. Several neighbours rushed out of their homes and gaped at the scene. Some of them were on their handphones, probably dialling for the fire brigade while others looked around for anything to restrain the fire that was rapidly razing Lavi's house. As for Lavi himself, he was ashen-faced and on his knees, the shock of facing the sudden possibility that he could lose everything written across his features.

I knew I could no longer live in this town anymore without being charged for arson but watching the fire engulf and destroy everything that was precious to my former lover had brought a rare feeling of satisfaction to my heart.
At long last, I was finally liberated from the cage of misery that imprisoned me from moving on.
At long last, I could actually piece together the cracks of my heart and try to find love again.
At long last, I had proven to him and more importantly, to myself that I was no longer the crybaby
who had clung to him and called at every given moment to redeem my place in his personal universe.
I was past all that now.
I could trust myself to make it on my own in a new environment.

As sirens wailed in the far distance, I took a deep breath and walked away, ready to face a new chapter of my life.