Walk away Renee
A small oneshot of how I think that the break-up between Charlie and Renee went. The Song 'Walkaway Renee' is off the 'Ally McBeal' album (volume 1) and I don't know who the singer is.
And when I see the sign that, once one way
The life we used to pass by everyday
Charlie sighed and glanced up at the sky – at least it was constant – the cloud cover was reliable. Not like Renee.
He felt the pain in his heart as he glanced up the road that she had driven the old Ford – his baby girl in the back seat, tears in her eyes, waving furiously to him.
He remember when she used to smile and wave at him when Renee took her shopping to the City – Bella never cared for rain. A day out of it was like a dream come true for her.
It cut him deeply to realize that he would always see his little girl grow up in pictures, seeing her leave time and time again up that same road.
All because of her.
Because of Renee.
Untameable, unreliable Renee.
Well, she had a new nickname to her belt –
Walkaway Renee.
Just walk away Renee
You won't see me follow you back home
The empty sidewalks on my block are not the same
You're not to blame
He didn't blame her – he wasn't interesting, he couldn't give her the attention she needed. But that didn't stop him from running after them. He knew, logically, that he could never catch them – but he felt like he had to try.
The sidewalks – shiny from the recent rain – seemed to glare at him hazily. Empty – always empty.
Lonely
Just like him.
Now, anyways.
He slowly gave up chasing. He wouldn't follow her.
Not again.
From deep inside the tears I'm forced to cry
From deep inside the pain I chose to hide
The walk back to the house was long, arduous. The pain blossomed like a rose in the Springtime inside of him, and he was suddenly glad when he heard the familiar sound of the thunder, followed closely by the sound of heavy rain on tar.
He knew it wasn't long before he was soaked.
He knew it wasn't until the tears that were now pouring down his face would be mixed and washed away by the rain.
The only thing constant in his life now.
The rain.
Just walk away Renee
You won't see me follow you back home
Now as the rain beats down upon my weary eyes
For me it cries
His eyes were sore, red. He sat on his back steps, just watching the rain – knowing that, at least to some extent, the rain understood.
It had to keep going until there was nothing left.
Just like him – dependable Charlie, constant Charlie, reliable Charlie, sensible Charlie.
His eyes wearily looked up and silently thanked the rain for crying for him – his man genes had kicked in – no good in crying, for crying would accomplish nothing.
But all the same, he thanked that rain. At least someone up in heaven was crying for him.
Your name and mine inside a heart upon a wall
Still finds a way to haunt me though there so small
The inside of the house seemed dull without Renee – who could make any room seem alive with her vibrant colour, her childish optimism.
His heart stopped beating for a minute or two, when his fingers brushed against the same carving made in their bedroom door frame.
It was the one thing that Charlie actually really liked about the whole room – not the large bed (although that was helpful at times) not the ostentatious bed covers, generic pictures of Renee's, family pictures of his, not even the mellow blue shade of the wall paint that was a mutual favourite of both his and Renee's.
No, it was the little heart, with 'Charlie + Renee' written in it. He had carved it the first night he and Renee had moved in – their wedding night, before the love wore off, before the happy vibes and smiles and laughter were all gone.
Another constant in his life at least.
Just walk away Renee
You won't see me follow you back home
Now as the rain beats down upon my weary eyes
For me it cries
The knowledge that he would never have Renee back, coupled with the fact his fingers brushed against her name delicately – like it was a holy name – got to him. His back hit the wall and he slid down to the floor, tear silently streaming down his face.
The storm outside thundered.
Now they were both crying for him, for his loss.
My loss, the thought snaked around him.
No more Renee, no more Isabella, no more family. Just me.
And those three thoughts depressed him more than anything he could have imagined.
Just walk away Renee
You won't see me follow you back home
The empty sidewalks on my block are not the same
You're not to blame
For months, Charlie did nothing – he was the talk of the town. Silly Charlie – marrying a girl he only knew for six months. Stupid Charlie for letting her go. Poor Charlie – losing all his family in one go. Unlucky Charlie – he couldn't' get them back.
He heard the gossip – that Renee had loved another man, that he had abused her, that he was 'holding her back'
But in reality, it was nothing like that.
They had stopped loving each other exactly seven years after meeting each other.
And his baby girl, his Isabella, taken away from her father, her life, her best friend Jacob at the tender age of six.
He prayed to a God that he didn't believe in that she would somehow grow up okay, that she could somehow – miraculously – look after Renee in such a way that he never could.