Disclaimer: Unless you don't recognize them, I don't own them. No money or other profits are being made from this attempt at entertainment.
The song excerpts (in italics) are from "By Your Side" by Tokio Hotel.
By Your Side
by: darke wulf
Night was slowly dying over Gotham. Standing on the patio of his penthouse condo, arms crossed on top of the railing against which he was leaning, Bruce looked out over his City. A weary sigh escaped his down-turned lips as the sounds of sirens rang out – a symphony of despair and misery that dug deep into his sensitive heart.
He had only just returned from his nightly patrol, but it didn't seem to have mattered. He oftentimes of late found himself wondering if he was making any beneficial difference at all in Gotham.
Yes, he managed to stop a handful of crimes during his nocturnal rounds – but it often seemed just a drop in a bucket… or an Olympic sized swimming pool. Crime continued, and the innocent of Gotham were still just as terrified – were still suffering just as much as they ever had.
Alfred tried to reassure him, citing in particular how instrumental Batman was in stopping the more destructive criminals such as the Scarecrow and Joker, but Bruce had to wonder if perhaps Gordon had been right when he'd blamed Batman for the escalation in crime. Perhaps he was at fault for the torment his City had suffered in recent years. It certainly seemed that way at times. How many psychopaths had come to Gotham specifically to pit themselves against the Bat? How many more people would be alive today, if he hadn't decided to take up the cape and cowl as his personal vendetta?
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No one knows how you feel
No one there you'd like to see
The day was dark and full of pain
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Sometimes it all got to be too much. It seemed that no matter how hard he tried, no matter how pure his intentions, in the end he only made things worse for Gotham.
Who was he to basically use innocent civilians as bait, under the pretext of it being necessary for his mission? They hadn't asked him for his protection. In fact, many of them had made it obvious that they absolutely did not want his protection. Did he really have the right to force it upon them, just because he thought it was the right thing to do?
Was it even really the right thing to do? Or was he simply adding fuel to an already volatile situation?
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You write help with your own blood
'Cause hope is all you've got
You open up your eyes
But nothing's changed
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Tony was dozing on his couch, a scratchpad full of schematics and doodles resting on his chest, when the ring of his cell phone interrupted the music-infused quiet. He jerked slightly as he woke up, taking a moment to recognize the noise and then stretched his left arm over to the coffee table with a groan and picked up the phone.
"Stark," he yawned, stretched his body out briefly and relaxed back into the pillows. "Oh, hey Alfred what's up?"
The grin that had appeared on Tony's face at hearing Alfred's voice slowly turned into a worried frown as he listened to the older man talk. He rose from his supine position and turned to sit properly on the couch, resting his right elbow on his knee and slouching until his forehead rested in his free hand. As he continued to listen, his grasp on his sleep-tousled hair tightened to the point of slight pain.
"Shit," he sighed when Alfred had finished, collapsing against the back of the couch. "Damn that man and his guilt complex. Why can't he see how much fucking good he's doing?"
Tony paused as Alfred replied to his comment. "No, that's true," he agreed, a fond smile slipping onto his face in spite of the gravity of the moment. "He wouldn't be Bruce anymore."
Another pause when Alfred continued to speak. "Yeah, I'll grab the suit and head out. Barring an unexpected apocalypse, I should be there in two hours or so. Yeah, you too. And Alfred… thanks for calling."
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I don't want to cause you trouble
Don't wanna stay too long
I just came here to say to you…
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Bruce sighed and closed his eyes briefly when he saw a familiar form streaking through the air. He considered leaving before Tony could arrive. The other man knew better than to appear at Bruce Wayne's condo as Iron Man so early in the morning. He would undoubtedly land at the cave and take one of the more nondescript bikes back to the City. That would give Bruce at least a thirty-minute head start… fifteen factoring in Tony's normal driving habits.
One glance back into the condo told him that any plans for escape would meet with additional resistance, however. Alfred, who was likely responsible for the imminent visit, had strategically placed himself between Bruce and the front door. Bruce didn't doubt the older man's ability to stall him for as long as required. Or just scold him into submission.
Resigned to his fate, he continued to stare down at his City for several minutes before moving back inside and closing the French doors to the patio. If he couldn't prevent the upcoming conversation, at least he could ensure they held it in a reasonably secure location.
He considered briefly calling Alfred on his unwelcome interference, but knew that would go down about as well as an escape attempt. Not looking over at the older man, Bruce made his way to the bar and poured himself two fingers of scotch. He raised the glass to eye level, allowing himself to become slightly mesmerized by the play of light in the facets of the glass and amber of the liquid inside.
"Honey, I'm home!" Tony warbled as he burst into the condo, his exuberance seeming to fill the space.
Sighing, Bruce emptied his glass in one swallow. He poured himself another two fingers, paused, and then made it three. He also poured a glass for his guest, holding it out as he turned around to face his lover. Idly he noticed that Alfred had quietly left at some point while his back was turned.
Tony bounced over to where Bruce stood and grabbed the glass from his hands. "Thanks, Pumpkin," he murmured as he planted a kiss on Bruce's cheek. His arm wrapped around Bruce's waist as he took an appreciative swig of scotch.
Bruce took a sip of his own, then placed the glass down on top of the bar. "So what, exactly, did Alfred tell you?"
"What are you talking about?" Tony asked, dark brown eyes wide in faux innocence. "I can't get the urge to see my snuggle-bear? You know I don't resist my urges well, Bruce. I'm all about instant gratification."
"Tony," Bruce growled, his voice slipping into the dark tones of the Bat, making it clear what he thought of his lover's prevarication.
Tony sighed and took another large mouthful of alcohol. He set the now empty glass down on the bar, grabbed Bruce's shoulders with both hands and looked straight into frozen blue eyes. "Bruce, he's worried about you. You know how much he cares about you. He doesn't like to see you like this. And neither do I"
"Like what, exactly?" Bruce sneered
"Doubting yourself. Beating yourself up for things that aren't your fault. Thinking that Gotham would be better without you."
"You can't deny the truth, Tony," Bruce argued, pulling himself out of his lover's hold and walking over to the windows, arms crossing over his chest.
Tony turned to face the other man, though he remained at the bar. "But it's not the truth, Bruce. Anyone with a brain can see how much the Batman has helped Gotham. Crime is down for the first time in decades. The police department is actually more clean than not – and I know that Gordon's got a lot to do with that, but he'd never have been able to without your support. The mobs were practically running this town ten years ago, now they can only work in the shadow, afraid to call attention - your attention - to themselves. You've done so much, helped so many…"
"And what about the people I haven't helped?" Bruce demanded as he turned to look over at Tony. "I can quote you numbers, too. Hundreds of people have died at the hands of lunatics like the Joker. Who's to say that would have been the case if I hadn't been here to serve as their foil? How many of them would have even come into being without the challenge of Batman to tempt them?"
"You aren't responsible for the creation of people like that, Bruce. They live to cause death and destruction. Maybe they wouldn't have chosen Gotham if the Batman wasn't here, but they still would have chosen somewhere and people would still have died. Maybe not Gothamites, but I know you better than to think that you're as much of an elitist as that."
Bruce had no response to that, as Tony was right. While Gotham held a special place in his heart, he hated to think of any city tormented by her rogues, hated to think of any people killed at their hands. Still, he refused to acknowledge the point, instead turning his back on the room once again.
Tony growled, frustrated by his lover's stubbornness. "Dammit, Bruce," he yelled, stalking over to the other man. Using the element of surprise he managed to spin Bruce around with unyielding hands on his hips, leaning into him until their faces were separated only by a hair's breath. "You're making a difference. You make such huge difference in the world, I don't fucking understand how you can't see it. It's not even just here in Gotham. You're a fucking role model for heroes everywhere, for crying out loud!
"Others see you - a man without any powers at all - they see what you can do and they're inspired. They want to live up to the standard that you've set. They ask themselves, 'If Batman can do so much, why not me? If he can risk so much, how can I possibly not at least try to do the right thing too?'
"I wouldn't lie to you. Not about something so important. You're fucking changing the world, Bruce. For the better."
Bruce scoffed, ducking his head and turning it away from Tony though not breaking from his hold. "Please. I'm a screwed up billionaire with abandonment issues. If anyone's inspiring the recent wave of heroes it's…"
Tony silenced Bruce with the only sure way he knew. He gently grabbed Bruce's head and tilted it up until their lips met in a soft, tender kiss.
"Bruce, do you trust me?" Tony asked with pleading eyes, his hands still holding Bruce's face.
"Of course, Tony, but…"
"Then trust what I'm saying to you. If you can't believe in yourself, believe in me when I tell you that the world is a far better place for having you in it. My life is far, far better for having you with me."
Tony pulled his lover closer, wrapping the other man's rigid form in a tight hug. Using one hand to push Bruce's head against his neck, he pressed a kiss to hand-tousled brown locks. "You're an amazing person, Bruce Wayne," he murmured, squeezing his arms around his lover. "You shouldn't ever doubt that."
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Turn around, I am here
If you want it's me you'll see
Doesn't count, far or near
I can hold you when you reach for me
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Bruce wasn't sure if he could really believe everything Tony had said. He had a hard time accepting that his actions – hell, supposedly just his existence – could really have as profound an effect as Tony was claiming.
But for the moment he would let go of his demons. He'd let himself be soothed by his lover's presence – he'd let Tony take the weight from his shoulders for at least a little while…
…and as Tony led Bruce to the bedroom, hands joined and fingers intertwined, dawn finally broke over the horizon.
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I am by your side
Just for a little while
We'll make it if we try