"Not tonight." 18 said, her eyes trailing away.
"What, but why not?" came a squeaky voice, trying it's best not to sound exasperated.
"It's not you, honey," she said, giving his bald head a pat. "It's just, sometimes…"
"What? Do you have another headache again?" Krillin said, just a little petulant, pulling at the sheets in frustration. "Like last night and the night before. Even though you are a robot imperceptible to pain."
"No, honey, I swear." 18 said, forcing a smile on her face. "Sometimes I just…don't feel up to it is all. It's totally not because you are a freakish bald midget or anything."
"Uh…what was that last part again?" Krillin asked.
"Well, good night!" She said, clapping her hands together cheerily. With one swift motion, she turned off the nightstand light and ducked under the covers.
***
"Rrg!" Krillin twitched with frustration. Why was he thinking about last night now? He should focus. Where was he again? Oh yeah. With Goku.
He knew he was lucky to bag a hot babe like Android 18. He must have been one of the first humans she had seen, too early to realize how…undesirable he might be in the eyes of…
Dammit! I shouldn't let this bother me! Just because I could have feasibly been played by Verne Troyer had I even been considered to be in Dragonball Evolution does not mean I should..I should…
A tear formed in the corner of his eye. That's right. In the end, he wasn't even in that movie. He was an ancillary character. But, somehow, Yamcha had!
Dammit! Sometimes, sometimes, I just wish, for once, I wish…
"I WISH I COULD BE SEXY!" Krillin cried, his grief so deep it need to be urgently, loudly expressed.
"Uh…" came a loud rumble.
Why was it so dark outside? Oh yeah. Because we were collecting the Dragonballs. And they had summoned Shenron.
Had summoned Shenron.
OH SHI-
Goku looked down at Krillin. "Wow, that's a weird wish, Krillin. I was going to bring Gohan back to life, but I guess yours is ok too…" he said, scratching the back of his head.
But Krillin didn't hear him. He was becoming something…something more. He could feel himself growing…being reshaped. It didn't hurt. The transformation felt like it was happening far away..to someone else. He wondered why his organs were sloshing around so much.
POOF!
Krillin had brought sexy back. Goku stared at him. "What..what's wrong Goku?" his voice seemed strangely lilted. "Am I…am I mondo sexy now?"
"I guess so…to someone..maybe…" Goku said, his eyes blank.
What does that mean? He looked down at his claws..claws???
OH SHI-
Krillin had turned into a dragon. He looked like Shenron, except with pink, glossy scales. He looked like the Dragon, whatever her name was, the one from Shrek. Who had married the Donley, whatever his name was. From Shrek.
"Wait? I don't get it! How is this sexy?" Krillin cried in despair.
"Sexy is in the eye of the beholder." Shenron coughed, blushing a bit. "Well, I'll be going now…but if you ever want to hang out or anything, get a cup of coffee, I mean…"
"NOOO!" cried Krillin, tears straming from his (her?) glossy blue eyes, trailing down her long, scaly snout.
With a flash of light, Shenron disappeared.
"DON'T LOOK AT ME!" Krillin cried, floating away from Goku.
***
"Sorry, honey,"18 said. "Not tonight," she said.
"I have a headache."