Watching.
You're watching. You know you won't be noticed in the dead of night because you're too stealthy and you know you'll be able to get away if she looks towards your direction and happens to spot your figure in the shadows.
You watch as she brushes her brown, wavy hair and looks at herself in the mirror as she changes into her pajamas. You watch as she sits on her bed and turns out the lights, but you wonder why she doesn't go to sleep.
You hear a soft noise coming from her and look at her to see that she's crying. She puts her hands to her face and lets her sobs run free. They start out slow, but soon get even more frantic and louder. You watch her and your cold, dead, heart aches and you feel the urge to break the window and jump in, pulling her into your arms until she stops that torturous noise your mind recognizes as crying. You wish that you could cry, because if you could you know you would be too. You feel connected in an otherworldly way to this girl, and it really scares you because…
you have no idea why.
You watch this girl and feel like you should know her, that she was some part of your life before becoming a vampire. A big part.
Then she does something that stuns you, and ultimately changes your…existence. She looks to the ceiling and starts whimpering "Edward…Edward…" You shudder, not because this stranger is whimpering your name, but the way she says it is music to your ears and makes your body shudder. You long for her to say it again, and she does. She chants it painfully, crying it out. You wonder why this girl is saying your name. "Edward…oh, Edward…" She whispers, her voice broken and dead, "…why…why'd you leave me…?" You listen to her words, wondering what they mean, and feeling bad because you know that you've done something to this girl, even though you don't remember her.
Then you do something that you know is not allowed and you know is very dangerous to this girl, especially because her blood has been calling to you like a sweet siren song the whole time you've been watching her. A whole two weeks. Not once had she mentioned your name until now. You tap your fingers against the window, trying to get her attention. Your rationality tells you not to do this, and that you are just a young and naïve newborn, and that she was talking about a different Edward. But she pulls you to her and you need to talk to her, or just have her look at you.
The girl doesn't respond, and you assume that it's either because she thinks it's the wind or just doesn't hear you, so you tap again, loud. This time she looks, and you're almost scared by her reaction. As soon as she sees you a hand clamps over her mouth and she lets out a small scream. You assume she thinks you're a burglar and you move to jump from the tree you're sitting on and bolt for the woods, but she holds a hand out and screams for you to stop. So, you do. You stop and she ever so slowly walks to the window and opens it. She stares at you for several minutes, her eyes showing disbelief, relief, and horror all at the same time. "Edward…" She whispers. You nod in confirmation, staring at her curiously. So you know that she knows you, yet you're sad because you have no idea who this girl is. You rack your brain for something, anything, but you know you'd remember those beautiful brown eyes and heart shaped face. You don't have many memories, being that you were only 'born' about a year ago, and you would've remembered this beautiful girl, this beautiful face. But your heart still aches for her caress, for her touch, for her voice and her smile and her everything.
"How...? " She sobs putting her hands in her face. Her legs are shaking and she looks like she can't stand much longer. Taking it as an invite in, you step into her room and catch her just as she starts to fall, leading her to the bed. She looks up at you "How are you here right n-now..? This can't be possible…" You let out a sob just seeing her cry, and your eyes are wide as you stare at her. You're so scared because you don't know this girl and you want to make her stop crying but you don't know what to say because you can't remember anything and you want to scream at yourself for not remembering but you're paralyzed with fear because you can't remember!
"Who…" You start, and she looks up at the very sound of your voice "Who are you…?" She stares at you, unmoving, and you wonder the depth of what you just said.
"You…" She whispers, so low that it is barely audible even for your ears. "You don't…remember me…?" You look at her and stare good and hard, and then shake your head, certain you have no idea who this is.
"Edward…" She sighs and starts crying more. You feel so comfortable in this room even though your instincts tell you to be tense and on guard and the move is so effortless as you rub small circles in her back, as if you'd been doing it for ages. "Do remember anything…about us…?" You slowly shake your head.
"I…can't remembering anything up until..10 months and 12 days ago." You respond, remembering the date exactly. Her big eyes widen.
"10 months and…that's when…" The girl pauses and shuts her eyes tightly, her lip trembling and her body letting out a shudder.
"When what?" You ask, more than eager to solve this mystery.
"When you died, Edward." The words tumble out of her mouth and you refuse to believe them. Now it's your turn to stare at her, unmoving. You know that you weren't always like this, and you know that to get to be how you are now, you had to have died. But you recoil from this information and flinch away, not wanting to believe what she has said but as she says it a nerve is tugged deep in you and you don't know how but you know this is the truth. You put your head in your hands, running your fingers through your hair messily.
"H-How…?" You ask, scared to find out the truth of your death. The girl places a hand on your back and rubs up and down. You find comfort in this and strangely lean into it. You cannot remember feeling this safe, yet so on edge because you're in a stranger's house talking to a strange girl who supposedly knows you and damn does her blood smell delectable. You want to tackle her and bite into her neck and suck out her sweet blood until has no more.
"Y-You... and your parents were driving home from a trip to California for the summer…" She takes your hand and squeezes onto it tightly "You crashed in the woods, Edward. Your car caught fire and they only found remains. None of you survived…" She trails off at the end, seeing the shock in your eyes. As she says it, painful flashbacks hit you as you remember the day.
Edward was almost bouncing out of his chair, excited to finally be going home to Forks. His mom looked back at him from the passenger's seat and laughed "Sweetie, calm down. We'll be there soon enough." She said, her voice smooth and beautiful.
"Sorry, ma', I'm just excited." Edward replied, grinning wide. Only a little while longer and he'd get to see Bella. Oh, Bella. While he did have fun in California, he was missing her dearly the whole time. Dad was whistling to a tune on the radio, and Mom was reading a book.
Edward looked up from his iPod, playing his favorite classical piece, Mozart's 40th symphony. There were trees all around him, and he knew they would be in Forks soon. After a little while longer, it started to rain and the sky grew darker. It was that ominous gloomy feeling that made him feel at home, as strange as it sounded.
What happened next almost seemed like it was in slow motion. He looked to the road just as a deer jumped onto the street. "Dad, watch out!" Panicking, his dad swerved quickly to avoid the deer. He lost control and they spun out. The next thing he knew, there was a loud crash. How did he get upside down? He groaned. Why was it so hot all of a sudden? Smoke burned his nose and his eyes shot open. All he could see was broken glass and fire.
And…two bloody, unmoving bodies.
"Mom? Dad?" He tried to reach an arm out, but stopped, letting out a strangled cry. It was broken. "Mom? Dad?" He said, a little more frantic. "Mom! Dad!" He cried, feeling the flames getting hotter. With his good arm, he reached down to unbuckle his seat belt. Edward screamed in pain. The seatbelt was metal and, he realized, the whole car was going down in flames.
He couldn't get out.
He screamed out for help, but he knew that in the middle of the Forks woods, no one would hear him. His screams were soon cut off by the smoke that filled his lungs. He gasped and coughed for breath, struggling for air, struggling to get free. Tears filled his eyes as he saw his parents covered in flames, still unmoving. The flames were closing in on him, too. He screamed and struggled, the flames burning and scalding him.
This was it. This is where his story ended. This was the closing curtains for him. This was the end. He would not see another day. 'No!' He thought as he slipped away into the oblivion 'I can't go! I'm not ready! Please! I need to see her…I need to…I…'
You're pulled out of your thoughts by a gentle hand shaking your arm. You're so startled from this vivid, painful memory that you jump up of the bed and back away quickly, breathing hard. You're scared now that you know that your last moments were spent being tortured, scalded, killed, all while watching your parents die with you. You slump to the ground against the wall and dry sob, forgetting that the girl is even in the room. That is, until she kneels in front of you and pulls you into her arms, whispering that it's ok. Her touch is electric and her warmth and scent wash through you and you're drowned in it, soaking you thoroughly and comforting you instantly.
After you've calmed down a considerable amount, she looks to you and give a small smile that seems to brighten the whole room "You know, I didn't think my mind would remember you this good." You look at her, confused by her words "I mean, it's almost believable that you're actually here standing in front of me. This is a nice hallucination..." You stare at her, taking in what she says. She thinks you aren't really here? This girl believes that you are some sort of hallucination.
You look at her and in all seriousness say "I assure you, miss. I'm not a hallucination." Her smile disappears at once.
"No, that's what my mind wants me to think." She makes this musical noise, a giggle. You cannot believe that she still does not believe you, even though she is holding you and touching you and conversing with you.
"I'm not a hallucination." You say, starting to feel angry with this girl's reasoning.
She shakes her head, also growing angry, "You are! You can't be real! You're…" She winces as she utters the word "dead…" You nod in confirmation.
"I am dead…" She flinches when you say this "but…I haven't died completely… you have to believe me…it's me…it is…" You don't know why, but you're desperate for this girl to believe you. You know that you'll get on your hands and knees just for her to believe you. "You have to believe me…" You utter, feeling a dry sob form in your chest "I'm right here…this…" You cup your hand on her cheek "…this is real…"
You watched as a few tears stream from her eyes "Your hand's so cold…" She whispers, but you can hear it.
You look to her, your eyes still guarded "You know me?" You ask. She nods slowly. "How…?" A wave of sadness crosses your features and you wonder if she has bad memories associated with you. You start to think she hated you as a human, and you wonder if you were a horrible person as a human.
"Please…tell me how…" You plead, your voice breaking at the end of you the sentence because you feel to desperate to solve this mystery. Why were you drawn to this girl's window? She is not the most beautiful girl you've seen, but yet you are pulled to her like there is some sort of magnetic force to her. "Tell me!" You're growing slightly impatient with this little human, which causes you to get louder.
The girl puts her face in her hands and lets out a sob. Hesitantly, you put a hand on her shoulder. She is so warm, and she's shaking. "You…When w-we were in…f-first grade…we were painting in class…and this one kid poured the dirty paint water over my head…" She looks up and you see that she is smiling as she cries "I was shivering and dripping wet and covered with paint…and you marched over, took my hand, and pulled me to the bathroom to help me get cleaned." She lets out a laugh "You even went into the girls restroom with me. It didn't matter to you." Tears stream from her face as she laughs, and you can't help but to smile too. While you can't remember it, you just know that it's true. You know that this girl won't lie to you. "We were best friends from that point forewords…" She trails off, looking to you as if to make sure you're still there and you haven't disappeared into thin air. "You don't remember any of this?" She asks, sniffling. Her nose is red and once again you were reminded of the wonderful blood that pumps through her body. It's taking all that you have to not lunge on her and taste that sweet blood.
"No, I don't." You say. The girl then blushes a magnificent shade, and you wonder why. "What is it…?" You ask, wanting to know why she is making that adorable blush.
"Well…we were kind of…" She blushes deeper, "in love…" She utters the words so quietly. Your eyes widen. If you were human, you'd be blushing. Then again, if you were human, you wouldn't be in this whole mess, and you'd remember this beautiful girl that was supposedly your love. "We'd been going out for 6 months and 25 days…almost our 7 month anniversary…." She sighs and looks to you, hopeful that you will remember. But, damn, you just can't. You wish you could just read her mind, but she is special. She is the only mind that comes up completely blank to you, despite all her wonderful thoughts. If you were human, you would be crying. Your still heart yearns and aches for this girl, because it knows that this girl was and is everything to you.
Which is why, taking a deep breath, you move forewords towards her and press your lips ever so gently to hers. The feeling is inexplicable. There are so many sensations that you are overwhelmed. The soft feel of her warm flesh, the scent of her blood just inches away, but the most powerful feeling is the one you'd been searching for all along: memory. Memory surges through you like lightning, and you stumble back, pulling away and looking at her through widened eyes as you remember everything. Everything. You remember the time with the paint and the girls bathroom, you remember your first dance with her, your first kiss with her, you remember when you came to the amazing realization that you loved this girl with all of your heart and that you simply could not survive without her. And finally, you remember when she returned those feelings to you. You two were inseparable. In love.
Until you both were torn apart by something as bothersome as death.
"Definitely not a hallucination…" She mumbles, both shocked and a little dazed by the kiss. You blink, seeing this girl, no, Bella, through new eyes. You smile the widest and most sincere smile you have since your death.
"Oh, Bella…" You moan and crash into her, wrapping your arms around her and taking everything in; her scent, her voice, her everything. You think that her beautiful little heartbeat might become your favorite sound.
"Edward…" She sobs, holding onto you with all her might. You're reminded of the last time you both saw each other, right before you went away on a trip with your parents. And it hurts, oh, how it hurts, to think of how you've possibly lived without her. Your heart almost hurts thinking about life without her. "I thought I lost you…"
"I'm right here, my sweet, Bella…I'm here…" You whisper, picking her up and carrying her to her bed, getting in and pulling the blanket over her, as she's started to shiver against your cold body.
"D-Don't leave me again…" Bella cries out, looking up at you. You can almost hear the pain in her voice, and you can't even imagine how she's been the past few months.
"Never…never never never…" You kiss her forehead, her cheek, her lips, needing to make up for so much lost time and heartache. The bond you share with Bella seems to overcome your bloodlust for her, and you find it easier to resist her blood now. They had the world now; they had eternity, if Bella should so chose. And they could be together. Everything was marvelous, everything was bright and hopeful for once. He hadn't known happiness until this ray of sunshine came into his life.
"Edward…?" Bella asks softly, looking up at you curiously.
"Yes, Bella…?" You ask, wiping her tears from her creamy skin.
"Why…Why are your eyes red?"