Just after 18 weeks of attending the prestigious Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for the seventh year in a row, a young raven-haired wizard by the name of Harry James Potter was in the Great Hall as a surprise announcement was made.
"Shut up, fools, I have an announcement," Professor Snape sneered: "This year, the prestigious wand-maker Wendell Ollivander will be working with the former Care of Magical Creatures teacher, Professor Kettleburn, as well as a few of the other faculty here, to give you dunderheads a once in a lifetime opportunity – to be chosen by a magical creature to be their partner. Having a truly magical familiar is the only way to gain understanding of the most complex magics in the world. This includes wand-lore, creature-language (sans Parseltongue which is hereditary), etc.
"I will now read from the list of currently-available creatures:
a litter of 5 baby unicorns; three white, two black, one gray
a Norwegian Ridge-back dragon, courtesy of our Gamekeeper
a litter of three cerberus puppies, again courtesy of our Gamekeeper
a newborn basilisk, courtesy of myself
a newly-hatched phoenix, courtesy of our esteemed Headmaster
a newborn hippogriff, once more courtesy of our Gamekeeper
a Centaur calf, courtesy of the Department of Mysteries
an archetypical mermaid; not the type native to Britain, courtesy of said mermaid
a female vampire, courtesy of her captors
a female werewolf, courtesy of her former family/current captors
"Now, Professor Kettleburn will bring them in. A word of wisdom: don't be more of a dunderhead than you already are and don't look a gift horse in the mouth. A truly magical familiar is worth more than all of the crown jewels of England combined. Also, if you are wondering about the DRMC, they cannot regulate familiars. That department would be the DRMF, which only requires registration of a familiar class XXXX and above."
Everyone cheered. Jade eyes sparkled as Harry thought about what it would be like to have a completely loyal, sentient companion.
Just then, Professor Kettleburn walked in from the grounds. The first creature to appear to the observing students was a very stunning vampire, appearing to be at the age of about fifteen or so; though, being a Vampire, she could very well be fifteen hundred. She had stunningly sleek ebony hair, contrasting greatly with her unnaturally-pale skin. Her burgundy eyes skimmed the crowd.
Professor Kettleburn spoke: "This fierce lady is a class XXXXXX magical creature. She is a true daughter of the night. Unlike the vampires you read about in Magical Beasts and Where To Find Them, she has no substantial weaknesses besides an insatiable desire to find love and acceptance in a world that predominantly fears her kind. That's not to say she isn't dangerous. Just as Merlin was dangerous, the founders of this school were dangerous, and most of your teachers are dangerous; she is dangerous, very dangerous. Can any of you handle the danger?"
Harry had expected most of the males in the school to be vying to get her, but apparently the fear of Vampires in the magical world was too much. After waiting for a few minutes, Harry tentatively raised his hand.
"Mr. Potter?" Kettleburn asked, an eyebrow raised
"Yes sir," Harry confirmed with a firm tone.
"Well, of course, the final decision rests in her hands," Kettleburn hedged.
"Oh, can it Grandpa!" the vampire sassed, "I told you before that I'd accept anyone who'd accept me and that's final!" The vampire dashed over to Harry and hugged him.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, oh my God!" she rattled as she gave him an appreciative bone-crusher.
"Uh, you're welcome," Harry gasped out.
"Oops, sorry," the vampire apologized releasing him.
Catching his breath, Harry said, "'sokay. Hey, my name is Harry, what's yours?"
"Rachel," Rachel replied, "Hey, wanna go to the Come and Go Room? It'll be another five hours before the wand-maker shows up."
"Sure," Harry replied. Rachel and Harry left the Great Hall in a haste.
A red-haired wizard watched his best-mate leave with a hot vampire in tow. His name was Ronald Weasley. Harry has always been a true Gryffindor, he thought to himself, the truest of us all, and as if to prove it again he just bagged a smoking-hot death-trap. I wish I was that brave. Hopefully the Werewolf will be decent-looking. I might not be brave enough to pick up a smoking hand-grenade, but I'll handle one that is dormant. He nodded at the metaphor he had just thought. Yes, it made sense to his strategic mind.
A wizard by the name of Rolf Scamander watched the Chosen One leave the Great Hall with his hot vampire familiar. While he could see the appeal in such a move, Rolf himself was waiting for the dragon. Wonderful beasts, dragons are! He thought.
A blond-haired wizard by the name of Neville Longbottom watched one of his best friends leave with his familiar. The vampire was pretty, but Neville was holding out for the mermaid. Much less dangerous, he thought.
Another blond-haired wizard by the name of Draco Malfoy sneered as the show-off Potter walked away with his overly-affectionate vampire. I'll show him! I'll show them all. I'll get the Basilisk! After all, I am a Malfoy! He thought smugly.
A dreamy-eyed blond-haired witch by the name of Luna Lovegood watched as one of her only friends left with the vampire. I hope you know what you're doing Harry. Wait, what am I thinking? Harry always knows what he's doing. I just can't wait to get my hands on that Centaur calf. Centaurs rule when it comes to the sight! Luna thought dreamily.
The Hagrid twins, Frank and Sue were whispering excitedly with their friend Samantha about the prospect of the Cerberus pups. They all loved playing with Fluffy whenever they got the chance and were each tickled at the possibility of having a Cerberus of their own.
Several girls across the tables were talking excitedly about the possibility of having a unicorn familiar. Mostly in Hufflepuff and Gryffindor, a good amount in Ravenclaw, and a few in Slytherin.
Several Gryffindors were praying to God or Merlin that the Phoenix would choose them. There were also a fair few in Hufflepuff doing the same. The Ravenclaws were more interested in the Hippogriff, as it is part-eagle.
A/N Finite Incantatem