Where A Kiss Can Lead
Chapter 1: A Beginning
Rachel looked after the departing taxi, her mind in a whirl. Had she really inspired love in Melissa? While she was thinking about this, Phoebe suddenly took her face in her hands and kissed her full on the lips.
"What the hell was that?" said Rachel, rather mad, as Phoebe pulled back.
"I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about," Phoebe said airily.
"And?" Rachel prompted.
"I've had better," said Phoebe in a dismissive way.
"But I wasn't even kissing you!" Rachel protested. "You took me totally by surprise."
Indignant at Phoebe's cavalier dismissal of her kissing ability, she took hold of her face in both hands and gave her the best kiss she could manage. Phoebe did not seem to resist very much, and after a moment she even appeared to be responding, her mouth opening. For her part, Rachel was finding kissing Phoebe extremely pleasurable, but there was more to it than that. It felt right to be kissing her, and she did not want to stop. But she realised that she really ought to when Phoebe gave a little moan that seemed to signify pleasure, and she found herself thinking of slipping her a little tongue. She pulled away, and both gasped.
"How about that?" Rachel demanded. "Not so vanilla, hey?"
Phoebe looked rather dazed. "Yeah," she said in a bemused fashion. "That was good kissing all right. Well, I must be getting back to my apartment." Suddenly she grinned. "Sleep well, lover."
But Rachel found it difficult to get to sleep that night. She kept replaying the kisses in her mind, especially the last one, and when she did sleep, she was troubled by dreams in which she was kissing a woman, sometimes Melissa, sometimes Phoebe, sometimes an unknown, and from which she woke to find herself excited. The last time she got up, although it was early, and made herself some coffee.
As she sat in a chair drinking it, she found herself thinking about Phoebe, and what a great woman she was. She could be irritating sometimes, like yesterday, but she so made up for it in other ways. She had always been a really good, supportive friend to both herself and Monica. She had put Rachel up when she had nowhere else to go, and had really not made as much fuss as she was entitled to when Rachel's carelessness caused the fire that damaged her apartment. She was always ready for fun, had a marvellously offbeat sense of humour, and was always coming out with things that were welcome because they were so unexpected, yet so typically Phoebe. If she had some seriously weird ideas, she never forced them on other people, the way Ross tended to do with his science. And she hardly ever tried to play for sympathy about her life before she had moved in with Monica, which must have been pretty awful, or about having to give up the babies that she had carried for Frank and Alice.
And she was so attractive, with her blond hair and lovely long legs, that showed so well in her short summer dresses, and her long, expressive face with its soft, kissable lips. Rachel found herself thinking of their kiss again, and to her slight alarm realised both that she was feeling a definite wish to repeat it and that the thought excited her. Why was she thinking about Phoebe like this? She decided it must be because she had not had a good date, let alone a relationship, since breaking up with Tag, and the kissing had stirred her up sexually. She made a determined effort to fix her mind elsewhere.
But the images kept returning, even though Phoebe did not show up at breakfast in Monica and Chandler's, or in Central Perk at lunchtime. In the afternoon, Rachel found herself dwelling on Phoebe's face, wearing one of her delightful smiles, for so long that her superior Kim commented on her daydreaming a little sharply and asked if she was in love. Flushing with embarrassment, she denied it and tried to concentrate on her work. But when finally she left work and headed for Central Perk, she found that she was thinking eagerly of seeing Phoebe.
"Oh my God!" she gasped. "What is happening to me?" Nearby travellers on the subway looked at her curiously, but she ignored them. Was she really getting a crush on Phoebe? She arrived at Central Perk, to feel a sharp pang of disappointment on seeing that she was not there. She took a seat facing the door, unusually for her, and found herself looking up eagerly every time someone entered, only to be constantly disappointed. Phoebe never showed up. The others commented on this in mild surprise, but it did happen from time to time, so they thought no more of it.
When Phoebe failed to appear the next day at any of the times that they usually met, Rachel began to wonder. Was Phoebe deliberately avoiding her? Was she mad at her? To her secret delight, Monica decided to ring Phoebe, to find out if she was all right. She reported that Phoebe had apologised, saying that she had something on her mind.
"She certainly sounded like it," said Monica. "Her voice was rather odd. But she said she'd come in tomorrow evening for sure."
Rachel found it hard to suppress a smile of elation. She would see Phoebe tomorrow, dear Phoebe, the friend whose presence or absence mattered to her most of all, beautiful long-haired long-legged Phoebe …
"Oh my God!" she exclaimed, as she realised that it could no longer be ignored. She had developed a crush on Phoebe.
"What?" said the others, looking at her in surprise.
"Nothing, nothing," she said, blushing in confusion as she tried to come up with a quick explanation for her outburst. "I just remembered something from work, something I forgot to do."
To her relief they accepted this without question, and the conversation turned elsewhere.
That night Rachel found herself so tormented by visions of Phoebe that she did what she would never have believed she would do. She got herself off on a fantasy of making love to Phoebe. The fantasy was rather vague in certain crucial areas, but the idea was so exciting that she reached a climax quite quickly, and went to sleep with a smile on her face.
The next day seemed endless, and Rachel found it very hard to control her impatience at the slow progress of the hours, especially during a meeting in the afternoon which seemed to be about very little, but went on for ever. Luckily, although it ended before the usual time for quitting, her superiors seemed quite ready to leave their offices a bit early, so she did too. She hurried home, cursing every source of delay – the crowds, the subway, the traffic – to arrive at the apartment she shared with Joey, intending to freshen up and change. It was only when she had done this that she realised that she was displaying classic "preparing for a date" behaviour.
This only bothered her for a moment, because she had faced up to the fact that, without being quite clear why, she had undoubtedly developed feelings for Phoebe, which seemed to be getting stronger all the time. What mattered now was how Phoebe felt, and what either of them would do about it.
By what, afterwards, Rachel always considered a great piece of luck, she was first to arrive at Central Perk, and Phoebe was next. Rachel's heart leaped when she saw the familiar profile through the window. But when she came close, Rachel was shocked: she looked dreadful. Her face was drawn, her eyes bloodshot, her whole expression one of despondency if not despair.
Her heart wrung, Rachel jumped to her feet and held out her arms. "Phoebe my love!" she found herself saying. "Whatever's the matter?"
Phoebe stopped dead and looked at her, eyes wide. "D-did you … say … 'M-my love'?" she asked slowly, in a hoarse stammer.
Rachel swallowed and looked around. No one seemed to be looking their way. Maybe no one else had heard it apart from Phoebe, though she felt she had said it rather loudly. It was the moment of truth, and she decided that she did not want to back off on this or cover it up, but on the contrary to get it out in the open. She raised her chin a little defiantly.
"I did – and I meant it," she said quietly. "I think I'm falling in love with you."
Phoebe's face was suddenly transformed as her expression became joyful. "You mean…?" she near-shrieked, and then put her hand to her mouth. Some of the customers turned, then looked away again when nothing further happened. "You mean, you feel it too, like you have real feelings for me?" she said in a much quieter voice.
Rachel nodded and took her hand to lead her to the couch. "I've not been able to stop thinking of you," she said equally quietly.
"I haven't slept," said Phoebe excitedly. "You've been on my mind day and night. That kiss!" She gave a sigh that was half a sob.
Rachel lowered her voice still further. "I only managed to get to sleep last night by … thinking of you in a special way."
Phoebe's mouth curved into a smile. "I'm flattered." She reached forward and took Rachel's other hand gently, so that they sat facing each other holding both hands. "I don't think we can expect this to go away," she said. "Have you ever … been in this situation before? Apart from your kiss with Melissa, I mean?"
Rachel shook her head. "And that was nothing on my side, whatever Melissa felt," she said. "But this – this feels real. What about you?"
"Oh yes," said Phoebe nodding. "Leslie, my singing partner, you remember, she was my lover for a while, and I … did things in prison, though mostly because I had to. But feelings for you must always have been there, for just a kiss to bring them out." Her smile became a grin. "Mind, I've always thought you were hot."
"Now I'mflattered," said Rachel playfully, smiling back. "And I've thought the same about you in the past often enough, before the last two days. Do you want a coffee?"
Phoebe's smile turned a little wicked. "You know what I want. I want to be alone with you. But I did say I'd meet the gang, so we'll have to stay here for now."
"Let me get you a coffee and a cookie," Rachel begged. "I can't give you anything else right now, and I guess this is all my fault for kissing you. But I do feel so much better for telling you, and finding out that you feel the same way. Don't you?"
"A lot better, yes," said Phoebe, with a brilliant smile. "Okay, get me a big decaf and the largest cookie or cake you can see. I need to boost my sugar level."
Rachel laughed and went to order. Gunther seemed curiously ill at ease, but she noticed this without giving it much thought. When she got back, Phoebe said loudly, "Say, does my face look a mess?"
"To be honest, Pheebs, it does," Rachel said.
"I'd better go and repair it then," said Phoebe, still loudly. Then she lowered an eyelid and muttered, "Maybe you need to go to the bathroom?"
Rachel could barely contain her glee. "I'll follow you in a minute," she hissed. "Got to make it look normal."
When finally she did follow Phoebe, she was barely inside the door of the restroom before she was pulled into a fierce embrace. Throwing her arms round Phoebe, Rachel kissed her as eagerly as she had ever kissed a man, moaning in the bliss of being able to express her feelings at last.
"God, that's better," said Phoebe emphatically when they broke for air. "But we can't hang around here too long, or someone will come in, or maybe steal my cookie. I'll see you out there, my love." Looking a hundred percent better, she gave Rachel an enchanting smile and went out.
Rachel thought that she might as well make use of the facilities. When she emerged, Chandler, Monica and Ross had arrived and were chatting with Phoebe cheerfully. She was careful not to display any sign of special feeling towards her, but resumed her place next to her. It was torture not to be able to touch her, but great to be near her, at least. The kiss, she recognised, had only made her want more.
As Rachel had been hoping, Joey finally showed up, and at the first opportunity she asked him if he would be out that night.
He grinned at her. "Why, are you getting someone in?"
"No, just hoping that you weren't," she retorted spiritedly. "Then I might get some sleep."
He laughed. "Well, I can't promise anything, Rach, but if I do bring someone home we'll try to be quiet."
"Huh!" she went disbelievingly. "But you'll be out till late, anyway? Maybe if I get deeply enough asleep you won't wake me."
"Yeah, I expect I'll be out late," he said with a self-satisfied grin. "I do have a hot date lined up."
Rachel leaned back and turned her head in Phoebe's direction, looking at her sidelong. Phoebe nodded very slightly, showing that she had heard.
Everything seemed to favour them that evening. Chandler and Monica expressed a wish to have their apartment to themselves. Ross had a date with a colleague to see some obscure foreign film at a film club and then have a meal. Knowing that he would soon be moving on, Rachel and Phoebe were quite happy to join Joey for a quick pizza, and very sincerely wished him good luck with his date. When he had gone off into the crowd on the sidewalk, they looked at each other, suddenly a little shy.
"We'll have to be careful about going up," said Phoebe as they walked back to the apartment block. "Don't want Monica catching us."
"There's no reason why you shouldn't be coming in for coffee and a chat," said Rachel. "It's getting you out again that bothers me."
"You could come to my place," said Phoebe enticingly.
"But how would I explain where I'd been?" said Rachel.
Phoebe nodded. "You're right. The fewer lies we have to tell, the better: your place it is. We'll think about getting me out later." Suddenly her face went tense and her lips trembled. "Oh Rach, you don't know how hard it is not to grab you right now," she said, looking at Rachel with desperate sincerity.
"Then let's hurry," said Rachel mischievously. "Catch me, Pheebs!" She darted off, but in a few strides Phoebe had caught her up and pulled her giggling into her embrace, though she did not kiss her.
"Not fair," Rachel gasped. "You have longer legs."
"I keep myself fit, more like it," said Phoebe, chuckling. She took hold of Rachel's hand. "Come on then!"
Pulling Rachel along, she brought them the remaining few yards to the apartment block entrance in double quick time, then raced Rachel up the stairs.
"Oh Pheebs," gasped Rachel as she stood outside her apartment, fumbling with her keys and panting hard. "I'll have to sit down after this!"
"Why not lie down?" said Phoebe wickedly. She seemed in a very exuberant mood.
But when they had got into the apartment, they felt really shy of each other again. They took off coats, helped themselves to juice from the fridge, and sat down, Rachel on the couch, Phoebe in a chair. Then Phoebe began to talk, haltingly at first but then more easily. She spoke of how she had felt about Rachel over the years, how she had found her increasingly attractive, especially during and after the short period when Rachel had shared her apartment, and how the first kiss had been yielding to a temptation of long standing. "You have a very kissable mouth," she said simply.
Rachel found all of this absorbingly interesting, and moved from occasional questions to offering her own comments and views, until they were engaged in an intense discussion that ranged over over all kinds of topics, though concentrating on what they looked for in a lover and what they wanted from life. Phoebe spoke of her longing for a real family; Rachel spoke of her difficulties with her real family.
"Oh my God!" said Rachel, after casually glancing at her watch and discovering that it showed a quarter of two. "We're having The Talk."
Phoebe looked startled, then gave a slow smile. "So we are. Well, that clears up any doubts in my mind. This is for real." Suddenly she gave a great yawn. "But, oh, I'm tired. I can't do the all-night thing. I want some sleep, and I could sleep now, knowing you feel the same way as I do." She looked at Rachel questioningly. "Could I … sleep here tonight?"
"Of course you can, Pheebs," said Rachel affectionately. "But I haven't got anything that would fit you."
"Oh, I can sleep naked, or just in panties," said Phoebe casually. "I often do at home. Would that bother you?"
"Not at all," said Rachel; picturing it actually gave her a rush of excitement. She let Phoebe go first in the bathroom, and when she returned to her bedroom Phoebe was already in bed with her back to her. But when Rachel got into bed and turned out the light, Phoebe turned and kissed her on the cheek.
"G'night, dearest," she murmured, and turned back again.
Chapter 2: Consummation and Revelation
Rachel woke first next morning, with a sense of excitement. Feeling wide awake, she sat up and looked down at Phoebe. She was lying on her back, her beautiful breasts largely revealed. Rachel's mouth went dry, and her heart began to beat fast. The urge to touch those breasts was very strong.
Suddenly Phoebe's eyes opened. She looked directly into Rachel's, and smiled.
"Like what you see?" she said provocatively.
"Oh God, do I!" said Rachel huskily.
Phoebe held her arms up. "Come on then; I'm ready. But remember, there's no turning back from something like this."
"I've not come this far to turn back," said Rachel decisively. She swiftly pulled off her t-shirt and wriggled out of her shorts, while Phoebe was evidently rolling off her panties. Then Rachel almost threw herself into Phoebe's waiting arms. She found what followed intensely exciting and fulfilling. Completely new to it all, she let Phoebe take control, although she tried to respond by giving her own caresses to Phoebe's breasts and more intimate areas as well as kissing her. Thinking about it afterwards, she realised that they did nothing that she could not have done with a man, that first time, but the fact that Phoebe was doing it to her and with her made it all seem new and thrilling. It might have been a long time since Phoebe had been with a woman, but Rachel would not have guessed. She seemed very confident and skilled, and when her strong hands brought Rachel to a very satisfying climax, she was so happy that she almost burst into tears, and cried out unrestrainedly.
Later, cuddled against Phoebe's side in the crook of her arm, head on her shoulder, she murmured, "You know, Phoebe, that felt as good as most times that I've been with a man."
Phoebe turned her head and kissed her on the cheek. "It's easy to make love to you, you're so beautiful and giving. But I'm glad that you enjoyed it."
"You're beautiful too, Phoebe," said Rachel fervently. She reached a hand across to Phoebe's breasts, then hitched herself over and began to suck on a nipple. Phoebe shuddered.
"Go on, my love," she gasped. "That feels good."
Encouraged by this, Rachel tried bolder caresses, drawing on what Phoebe had done and what she had liked men to do to her. She got great pleasure from the feel of Phoebe's sleek skin over her firmly muscled body, and found that everything she did seemed to increase Phoebe's excitement and caused Phoebe to urge her on more eagerly. Finally, somewhat to her surprise, she found that she was bringing Phoebe to orgasm simply with her fingers, while they kissed more and more fiercely. At the climax Phoebe bucked vigorously against her hand with a whoop of joy, and when it was over she pulled Rachel into a very tight embrace.
"Rachel, that was very good," she said, then, after a pause, "for a beginner." She winked, but, seeing Rachel look a little crestfallen, hastily went on, "No no, it really was. It's just that, well, there's lots of stuff you don't know about."
"I'd love to learn from you," said Rachel, nuzzling her.
"And I'd love to teach you," said Phoebe. "But right now I must go to the bathroom."
Rachel giggled. "After you," she said. "Shall we shower together? Joey still doesn't seem to be home."
"You're on," said Phoebe with a wicked glint in her eye.
While dressing later, Rachel noticed that Phoebe seemed a little uneasy, and kept looking at her.
"What is it, Pheebs?" she asked.
Phoebe seemed to swallow. "It's just … you're not regretting this, are you? You seem so quiet." She looked worried and uncertain, all of a sudden.
Rachel's heart turned over. "Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe," she said softly, going over to her and kissing her tenderly. "How could you think that? If I had any misgivings, I'd never have made love with you at all. If I'm quiet, it's because …" She thought for a moment, trying to analyse her own feelings, while Phoebe looked at her intently. "It's because I feel totally settled in my mind, totally committed," she said finally. "This feels absolutely right, I'm completely happy with it, and I have no regrets." Suddenly inspired, she sang the first line of Edith Piaf's Je ne regrette rien, rather off-key. Phoebe winced slightly, but smiled.
Rachel kissed her again. "I love you, Phoebe Buffay."
There were tears in Phoebe's eyes. "Rachel," she said hoarsely, "I love you too. You don't know how much this means to me. You have such a generous loving nature: I just can't believe my luck, that you should have chosen to love me. So," her voice changed, "this is it, Rachel Karen Green? We're stuck with each other?"
"Yes," said Rachel simply. "No going back here, no 'I didn't realise what I was getting into' crap. I have decided, you are my true love. I hope we'll always be together."
Phoebe's smile grew until it was almost dazzling. "I couldn't ask for more. So, are we going to tell the others?" Her expression turned sober. "It'll freak Ross out, for sure."
Rachel sighed. "Yes, I guess it will. I don't think we should stomp in there and tell them right now. We need to work out how to approach this. Do you think we should tell Monica first and ask her advice?"
"Mmm," said Phoebe, considering. "You're probably right. But I don't want to leave it as long as Chandler and Monica did."
"No," said Rachel. "I don't want that either." But she could not feel serious for long, so elated was she at the thought that she had found her true love, her soulmate. Suddenly she began to twirl around the living room, chanting, "I love Phoebe", while Phoebe beamed at her. Of course, it had to be then that Joey entered the apartment.
"What's that you're singing, Rach?" he said, looking perplexed.
Rachel and Phoebe looked at each other. "He kept Chandler and Monica's secret," said Rachel.
"Because Chandler paid him off," said Phoebe. "Still, maybe we should start here." She walked over and took Rachel's hand. "Let's do it."
They turned and faced Joey, whose jaw had dropped. Rachel's chin went up.
"We're lovers, Joe," she said firmly. "We have found each other."
"My – God!" said Joey, and he dropped heavily into a chair. He looked up at them. "Since when?"
"We began to fall in love just three days ago," said Phoebe. "It was all because of that story of Rachel's kissing her friend." Quickly she explained how things had developed from then.
"And you're … really lovers?" said Joey, looking rather troubled.
"Yes, we've made love," said Rachel seriously, realising that this was not Joey's usual obsession with anything hinting at lesbianism. "I'm quite clear about what I feel, even if I don't quite understand why. I've loved men in the past, no question; but now I know I love Phoebe."
"And I've loved men, and a long time ago a girl," said Phoebe, "but now I love Rachel."
Joey blew out a breath. "Man, that's really something." He looked at them apprehensively. "You're not gonna want me to keep this secret?"
"Just for a little time, Joey," Rachel pleaded. "We want to tell the others very soon, but we have to think of the best way to do it."
Joey sighed. "Okay, but it better not be for long."
"Thanks, Joey," said Rachel, hugging and kissing him.
Phoebe followed her. "Sorry I can't be your backup any more," she said, kissing him soundly. "But be happy for us, okay? This means a lot to me. I feel like I'm finally grounded, I finally belong." Rachel's heart leaped to hear this, and she stepped over to hug Phoebe very hard.
Joey seemed pleased by this treatment. "Regular hugs and kisses will get you a long way," he said with his characteristic grin. "In fact, if you showed – " But whatever he had been going to say died on his lips when Phoebe placed her fingers over them.
"Don't say it, Joey," she said, looking a little stern. "It's not worthy of you. Now let's go and get some breakfast."
Joey behaved impeccably at breakfast, and Rachel and Phoebe managed to restrain themselves from beaming at each other more than once or twice, so none of the others suspected anything. When Rachel got up to go to work, saying that she would see them all in Central Perk that evening, Phoebe got up too, saying that she had shopping to do. Once they were outside the apartment, they kissed briefly and intensely, then went down the stairs side by side. When it was apparent that no one was behind or ahead of them, Phoebe took Rachel's hand.
"This is going to be tough," she said a little sadly, "not being able to kiss you like Chandler kisses Monica."
"Only for a little while, Pheebs," said Rachel. "I must admit, I can't think of anything except coming right out with it and hoping Ross doesn't get too mad."
"I don't care if he does," said Phoebe rather scornfully. "I'm not frightened of him. If he gets too much of a pain, I'll boot him up the ass."
"Ooh, are you going to be my big strong protector?" said Rachel, looking up at Phoebe and deliberately overdoing an adoring look. "I'd like that."
Phoebe laughed and gave her a quick hug. "If ever you need protecting, I'll be there."
They went their separate ways on the street, Rachel blowing a quick kiss to Phoebe. During the day she alternated between bouts of hard work and thinking about Phoebe and what their life together would be like. It was during one of these that Kim looked over at her and said, "Rachel, are you sure you're not in love?"
"Oh, I am now," said Rachel dreamily.
"Well, tell me about him," said Kim encouragingly.
Rachel looked at her. She had known this would have to be faced, and had promised herself, and Phoebe, that she would try to be honest. Lying, as she had discovered so many times, only increased the need to lie. She took a deep breath and looked Kim in the eye.
"It's not a him, it's a her – one of my oldest friends, in fact. We just … kinda fell into it, only a few days ago. It's quite funny, really, when you think about it, but it feels so real."
Kim looked rather taken aback, but rallied. "I'm a little surprised. I thought you liked men."
"Oh, I did," said Rachel. "So did Phoebe. We've had our share. But that all seems … so long ago now. What's happened to us is a bit like what happened to Ross's first wife, I guess. She found that her real soulmate was a woman with whom she'd become close friends."
Kim put aside a heap of documents and leaned back in her chair. "Your friends sound fascinating. Tell me about Ross's first wife, and why it's like how you and Phoebe got together."
Rachel gave her an edited account of the friends' history, that nevertheless took them through to lunchtime. Kim insisted on buying her lunch. Over the meal she said, "It was brave of you to tell me. Do you want it kept secret?"
Rachel thought. "No," she said eventually. "I'd rather you didn't go out of your way to tell people, but don't cover it up. I want to be honest about this."
Kim patted her hand. "That's the right attitude.You won't be the first to announce that you're lesbian, after all, though I don't remember hearing of anyone who's switched sides like this, in Ralph Lauren or out of it."
Rachel had little doubt that the story would get around, but she felt better for having come right out with it. Kim confided in her that she had once been tempted, when her marriage had been collapsing, but had not felt able to go through with it.
"I envy you," she said rather sentimentally. "The first days of a new love affair are magical. Do you want the rest of the day off, to see your lover?"
"It's very kind of you, but I'm not sure where she'll be until later," Rachel confessed. "And I do have some things I want to get done today. But if I can go when they're done – "
Kim waved a hand. "Please. Consider it a kind of present. I'd like to meet Phoebe one day. She must be a remarkable woman."
Rachel worked single-mindedly that afternoon and cleared a whole bunch of paperwork. She rushed off at four thirty, smiling and waving at Kim, and hurried to Central Perk, where she was elated to see Phoebe already there, and alone. Phoebe turned towards her, and her face broke into a smile of what seemed pure happiness. Rachel went towards her, beaming, but Phoebe shook her head at her warningly and glanced around.
Rachel nodded and said, "It's good to see you, Pheebs," in as neutral a tone as possible, although her mind was going wild at thoughts of Phoebe's marvellous kisses and caresses. She sat next to her, just allowing her hand to touch Phoebe's; the contact was like an electric shock, and both gasped. But neither dared go further than such very occasional touches.
However, for all their care, Gunther thought that he already knew their secret. The previous day he had noticed what seemed extraordinarily, disturbingly intimate behaviour between them, and now he watched them closely, looking for further evidence to confirm his suspicions. Before long he was convinced that the way they smiled at each other and their general body language indicated that they were lovers. He felt outraged. It had been bad enough having to watch Ross and a variety of short-lived dates like Joshua with Rachel, but Phoebe! He had never liked her much – she was too offbeat, too weird. What could Rachel be thinking of? Perhaps Phoebe had hynotised her some way. At least he saw a chance to stick it to Ross. It was clear that none of the others knew anything, so it was very likely that Ross didn't.
When Ross finally came in and ordered coffee, Gunther said casually as he handed it over, "Looks like Rachel's branching out."
Ross's brows came down. "What do you mean?"
"Oh, hadn't you noticed?" said Gunther with false surprise. "Well, she and Phoebe seem very close these days, don't you think?"
Ross gasped "My God!" and whirled round to look at them. Then he turned to give Gunther a very dark glance. "I don't see anything out of the ordinary."
"You haven't been looking long," said Gunther with a smirk.
Ross gave him another look. "You're imagining things."
"Have it your own way," said Gunther, shrugging.
Ross returned to the table, looking so mad that Monica asked what had bitten him all of a sudden.
"Just a touch of neuralgia," he said airily.
Monica did not look convinced, nor was Phoebe. She had noticed Ross talking to Gunther and his glance at them. She caught Gunther's eye. He looked away quickly, but she thought she detected a kind of guilty triumph in his expression. She gave a derisive laugh.
"What's up, Pheebs?" said Chandler.
"Oh, nothing you'd understand," she said dismissively. "I was just thinking of something."
"Like what, Pheebs?" said Rachel, as if she really wanted to know.
"Not for your innocent ears," said Phoebe teasingly.
Rachel was not clear what was going on, but she was ready to play along. "I'm not innocent!" she fumed. "Just because I haven't lived on the street …"
"Well, you did admit that kissing Melissa and rubbing coconut shells with her was the only wild thing you'd ever done," said Phoebe, trying to get something extra into her smile.
"So, you have authenticated this?" said Chandler, grinning.
"Oh yes," said Phoebe, "though it took a lot of effort on Rachel's part to get Melissa to remember." She smiled more broadly and winked at Rachel, who smiled back, amused at the way Phoebe was alluding to their secret without anyone realising.
But Ross had been watching them closely, and he thought he detected a special intimacy in their smiles. Involuntarily he groaned.
"Now what?" said Monica, turning to him impatiently. "More neuralgia?"
"No," said Ross, looking dubiously at Phoebe and Rachel. "Something else." He did feel pain, a sort of ache inside. How could Rachel have done this?
"Is it true?" he said abruptly, glaring at Phoebe.
"Is what true?" said Phoebe rather belligerently.
"That you and Rachel are lovers," said Ross bluntly. "Gunther hinted at it."
"That low-down sneaking rat!" said Phoebe hotly. "Who does he think he is, spreading stuff like that around?" She glared at the counter, and Gunther moved away hastily.
"Phoebe," said Rachel quietly. "We're faced with it. We may as well come clean now as later." She looked around at the amazed faces of their friends. "It's true. We've fallen in love."
The very simplicity of her statement seemed to deflate Ross. He gave a long sigh. "But, but how?" he said in apparent anguish. "How could this happen?"
"It started with a kiss," said Phoebe slowly. "I kissed her – to see what all the fuss with Melissa was about." She gave a sudden giggle. "I found out, all right." She took Rachel's hand and gazed at her warmly. "Rachel is my true love now. I know this must seem weird to you guys, and I can't exactly explain it, but it feels absolutely right to me."
Rachel beamed at her. "Me too. We … found we were thinking of each other all the time, and, well, that's it, really."
"Well," said Monica briskly, "it sounds and looks genuine to me." She leaned forward and took a hand of both of them. "I think it's rather sweet, and I hope you're very happy together."
"Thanks, Mon," said Rachel a little shakily.
"That means a lot to us," said Phoebe. They both leaned over the table and hugged her, while the men looked at each other in varying states of amazement and disbelief.
"You fell in love just because of a kiss?" said Chandler incredulously. "It took more than that, with me and Monica."
Monica looked at him repressively, but Rachel and Phoebe were quite unperturbed. Keeping hold of Phoebe's hand, Rachel said, "Okay, here's what happened." With interruptions and expansions from Phoebe, she told the story.
"That still doesn't explain why you fell in love," said Ross at the end in a despondent voice.
"I suppose not," said Rachel. "Maybe it helped that we had been close friends for so long, but clearly there has been something there for a long time that we weren't really aware of. Anyway, here we are, and we both feel this is for real." Recognising something of what he must be going through, she said, "I'm sorry, Ross, truly I am. But look at it this way. This really does mean the end of you and me. You can commit to a new love fully without always looking back – as I have now done."
Ross got up. "I don't feel well," he said morosely. "I'll see you guys tomorrow." He walked off.
Rachel sighed. "It could have gone a lot worse, I guess, but he's taking it hard."
"What he should do," said Phoebe lightly, "is what he did the night you were on a break – get drunk and find a girl." She snickered.
"Phoebe!" said Monica sharply. "That's not a happy memory for any of us, let alone Rachel."
Phoebe's mouth formed an O, and she looked at Rachel beseechingly. "I'm sorry, Rach," she said abjectly. "I wasn't thinking. Please forgive me."
"You are forgiven," said Rachel warmly, squeezing her hand. "It doesn't hurt any more. Sure, it was sad, but now that I have you, all that is ancient history."
"Oh, that's so sweet," said Joey sentimentally. "So, will you be moving out, Rach?"
Rachel looked at Phoebe enquiringly. Phoebe's grip on her hand tightened. "Of course you must move in with me," she said. "Tomorrow at latest."
Rachel smiled, and the others laughed at Phoebe's eagerness. Already, the strangeness of it seemed to be fading.
Watching them, Gunther felt ice in his heart. The effect on Ross had been all he had hoped, but the rest seemed ready to accept it. Rachel was further away from him than ever.
Chapter 3: What Happened Afterwards
Rachel and Phoebe settled down together quite easily. It helped that they had lived together once before for a while, though not as lovers, and that they complemented each other. Phoebe was the more practical and dynamic, while Rachel was very easy-going, ready to let Phoebe have her way in almost anything, and extremely affectionate by nature. Phoebe could never be in any doubt of Rachel's love for her, since without it seeming at all forced she was constantly telling and showing Phoebe how much she loved her. Also, Rachel was completely unfazed by Phoebe's occasional production of her weird theories. Resolutely unintellectual, she did not have the mental equipment to criticise them and simply ignored them most of the time, only occasionally querying the more outlandish. In general, she rather relished Phoebe's original approach to life, the universe and everything.
Their friends adapted slowly. To help them, Rachel and Phoebe did not make any great parade of their love when in their company, though they often held hands and occasionally kissed. Phoebe's brother Frank and his wife Alice were rather shocked at first, but since they already knew Rachel it was easier for them to accept her, though they were rather stiff with her for a long time. Phoebe's mother invited them round, and after observing them together said that she was sure they were right for each other, and good luck to them. Rachel's mother did much the same thing; her father gave the impression of disapproving, but his main comment was that at least he wouldn't be expected to pay for another wedding.
The one who took it hardest was Ross. He had great difficulty in reconciling himself to the idea that Rachel was out of his reach for ever, and it was very hard to convince him that it was not somehow his fault that the two greatest loves of his life had both settled down with female partners. But an encounter at Chandler and Monica's wedding with Mona, who worked in Monica's restaurant, helped to turn his mind in a new direction. Before long, they were dating seriously, and he found that it was, indeed, a great help not to have Rachel always at the back of his mind.
Rachel and Phoebe became close to Carol and Susan, the only ones in their circle of acquaintances who might be expected to have some real understanding of their situation. These introduced them to aspects of the lesbian "scene", but although at first Rachel and Phoebe made no formal pledge to each other they ignored all approaches, of which there were many, and remained totally committed to each other. Before too long, however, Phoebe decided that she wanted to make some formal statement of their commitment, though she would have nothing to do with any kind of standard religious or civil ceremony. With some of her mystical friends she devised something that actually surprised Rachel and their friends by being genuinely moving in places, and involved exchanging rings, and Rachel loved her all the more for it.
Not too long after this, Susan began to express a desire to have a child, and Rachel decided, with Phoebe's consent, to keep her company. To Joey's delight, she chose to be inseminated with his sperm, from the sperm bank that Monica had once contemplated using so long ago, while Susan chose an anonymous donor. Both inseminations were successful the first time, and the pregnancies and births were uncomplicated; both gave birth to a son, within a day of each other. Phoebe and Rachel agreed to name Rachel's son Ross Joseph, and asked Ross to be a sort of godfather, which he was proud to accept. Susan's son was named James after her father. Her competitive instincts stirred, Monica had persuaded Chandler to try for a baby, and by the time of the births she too was pregnant, with a daughter who was born six months later and named Lucy.
For a while Ben was very jealous of all these babies, having been the centre of attention in the group for so long, but Phoebe came up with the best idea to reconcile him to it, by pointing out that he was bound to be the leader of any gang that the children might form, being so much older. Frank and Alice's children, on the other hand, were very excited from the start to have a sort of cousin, and were constantly demanding to come round to watch and later play with Ross Joseph. Once Rachel had got herself into a good routine with him and had become confident of her mothering abilities, Phoebe decided that she wanted a child of her own. She proposed to Rachel that it made sense to have Joey for the father again, and that to save money it would be simplest to do it "the old-fashioned way". Rachel was so fond of Joey, and so in love with Phoebe, that she kept the jealousy that she could not help feeling to herself and consented, "as long as you don't make a habit of it".
Luckily, one occasion was all it took – reminding them that her body was faster than western medicine, Phoebe would not do more, partly because she did not want to distress Rachel – and Phoebe gave birth to her own son six months after Monica's daughter. She and Rachel had many battles over what to call him. For once, Rachel took a firm stand and vetoed all Phoebe's suggestions, on the grounds that a weird name would be cruel to the child. But she accepted Phoebe's wish to have something out of the ordinary, and finally they agreed on Bing, in honour of Chandler, adding Robert in case he grew up not to like Bing.
Ross watched the appearance of this stream of children to whom he was real or honorary uncle with some bemusement and a certain amount of jealousy. Once he had been the only parent in the group, the only real grown-up. Now, within the space of two years, they all were, and even Joey was insisting on taking on responsibilities as a father, although both Rachel and Phoebe had assured him that he did not have to. But Ross had enough generosity of spirit and good sense to accept that this was a natural and desirable development. When after much vacillation he proposed to Mona, it seemed to symbolise the fact that he had finally put the past behind him, and the group of friends had become fully mature.