The One Where Chandler Is King, But Who Is Queen?
Author's Note: Okay, here we go. Enough interest has been shown for me to attempt a sequel to this, as I suggested in what I posted as 'Chapter 2'. In a new arrangement, I am splitting the original, which had 3 chapters but was posted as one, into two.
I wrote the original well before Episode 8,8, in which Monica winds up doing a strip for Chandler, was shown. The setting is Series 3, after Monica has recovered from her break-up with Richard, but when Chandler and Janice are still together. So Rachel is still with Ross, and still in her waitress job, while Monica is working at the Moondance Diner.
Warning: This is a thoroughly immoral story, in which there is both m/f and f/f sex (not described in great detail), though the former is much more important. It should not be taken too seriously; it was written to have some fun with the characters, so any comment that it is unrealistic is beside the point (there are enough unrealistic elements in the show anyway, let alone in fanfics).
Disclaimer: The Friends characters do not belong to me, but to Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and Warner Bros. Their use is not intended for profit, only for entertainment.
I don't think many people realise quite what a super-lover Chandler is, if we are to believe various sources. Not only is there the famous reference in 5,1 to "seven times" during Chandler and Monica's first night, but more relevant here is this, from 3,1 (which also sheds light on Janice's lovemaking capabilities):
Janice: Okay.
All right. This is what we're gonna call it: "Joey and Janice's
DAY OF FUN!"
Joey: Does it have to be a whole
day?
Janice: Yes, because that's how long it takes to love
me.
Joey: Yeah, I know, I sleep in the next room.
Chapter 1: The Setup, and Unexpected Developments
"I'm telling you guys, the man is phenomenal!" said Janice with maximum enthusiasm. Monica, Rachel and Phoebe were hanging out with her in the apartment, as a result of a well-meaning decision of Monica's that they ought to get to know her better, since she and Chandler were clearly a real item. They were not on their first margaritas, or their second, and conversation had turned, as it often did on such occasions, to men. Phoebe had asked why Janice was so ready to keep starting again with Chandler, adding "because it's obvious why he keeps starting again with you," without further explanation. Janice had chosen to take this as a compliment, and in her gratification had begun to divulge all kinds of information about Chandler's virtues as a lover.
"The best part is," she continued, "he doesn't have any real idea of how good he is, so he's not arrogantlike Joey. He's so convinced he's a loser. It comes from living with Joey, I guess. And I have to admit, he's not quite so good at stretching it out, if you see what I mean. But I'm working on it. Believe me", she went on, "I have a fair bit of experience, and I have never encountered anyone like Chandler. That's why I call him my Bing-a-ling, after the Chuck Berry song, though something from Reelin' and Rockin' would be just as appropriate." She laughed raucously; the others smiled or tittered.
"But he can really make love that many times?" said Monica sceptically.
"And he can really recover that fast?" said Rachel.
"And he can get that big?" said Phoebe.
Janice narrowed her eyes at them and took a hefty swig of her drink. "You don't believe me," she said, not looking very pleased. "Look, I wouldn't lie to you guys. I have nothing at stake here."
"Well, I'm not so sure …" Phoebe began, but Monica overrode her.
"It's not that we don't believe you, Janice," she said. "It's just that it's so hard to reconcile what you're telling us with the Chandler we know and love."
Janice finished off her drink and banged the glass down. "O-kay," she said. "Seeing is believing, right? Well, supposing I could arrange for you to see Chandler at his most excited, would that go some way to dispelling your incredulity?"
Phoebe giggled wildly. "Oooh! I like that! You mean you'd, like, show him off to us?" The others giggled rather more nervously.
Janice grinned. "The way I see it, maybe we should put on a little show for him. He would get to see some of you; you would get to see all of him."
The friends looked at each other, with more giggling.
"It would be like a strip, right?" said Phoebe.
"Well, I don't envision going all the way," said Janice. "But he'd have to see your boobs. I think that might be sufficient to excite him, as the finale of a good strip." She laughed. "Of course, he's seen mine often enough, but I'd be happy to participate, to show it was all above board."
"So, you're thinking some kind of synchronised strip," said Phoebe, who seemed much the most interested. "Well, I'm up for it; I've always wondered about Chandler. As Janice says, he's always moaning about what a loser he is, but when he gets a woman he seems to do all right, like with that Aurora. So, what about you two?"
Rachel and Monica looked at each other and giggled nervously again.
"I don't know, Phoebe," said Monica.
"Come on," said Janice enouragingly. "Live a little."
"Yeah," said Rachel. "You're way too inhibited, Mon. What's a little stripping? Didn't you promise to flash Chandler, when you had him doing exercises to get his weight down?"
"Well, I never had to, in the end," said Monica. "So, you're gonna join in, huh?"
"Um, no," said Rachel, looking uncomfortable. "For one thing, Chandler's already seen my boobs, and more important, if Ross got to hear of it he'd go crazy."
"So, you're chicken!" cried Phoebe. "Monica Lilian Geller, you back me up on this and prove you have more guts than Rachel!"
"All right," said Monica hastily, as if trying to pre-empt her better judgement. "I'll do it!"
"Way to go!" cried Janice. "You sure you're gonna sit this out, Rachel?" Her voice was slightly mocking.
Rachel looked stubborn. "Yes," she said, more firmly than before. "I have a good thing going with Ross and I'm not gonna risk spoiling it."
"Okay," said Janice, unabashed. "Tomorrow's Saturday, so why don't we set it up for tomorrow night, when Joey will likely be out of the way? Could you give us a meal, Monica?"
"My pleasure," said Monica.
"Now we need to discuss our routine," said Janice. Fuelled by further margaritas, the discussion of what they would wear and do grew animated. Even Rachel contributed her share, but she steadfastly refused to participate, even under considerable pressure from Phoebe and Monica. Finally Janice left, saying she had to pick up her kid.
"I wonder what's in it for her," said Rachel thoughtfully.
"Maybe she just wants a rest," said Phoebe, giggling. Rachel looked unconvinced.
--
Throughout Saturday, Monica worried about what she had gotten herself into. When the evening finally came, she was so nervous that she nearly burnt the casserole she was cooking. Phoebe seemed perfectly at ease when she arrived, but when Janice arrived with Chandler he looked as nervous as Monica felt. However, Phoebe and Janice kept the evening going with a flow of chatter, and Monica found that some wine helped her relax. In fact, all of them drank a fair amount.
When dessert was finished, Janice took charge firmly. "Bing-a-ling," she said, "you go next door and get ready. We'll be with you shortly." When he had gone, she explained, "He'll be on one of their loungers, undressed. Joey's not expected back tonight, so we won't be disturbed. Now we must practise our moves."
As they practised the routine, Monica got more and more nervous, and resorted to the wine again. Could she really strip in front of Chandler? But Phoebe would never let her live it down if she backed out now. Frantically she tried to concentrate on the moves. By the time Janice was satisfied that they all had a good idea of what they were supposed to do, Monica felt that she had had quite enough wine.
Janice led them in, followed by Phoebe, and Monica last. Chandler was lying on the lounger, apparently nude, but he had his knees up and his legs close together. Janice started some appropriate music on the tape-player, then clapped her hands and cried, "Begin!"
They started a slow twirling dance, with poses designed to show off their female attributes to the best advantage. Monica found the rhythm, after initial mistakes, and began to feel slightly exhilarated.
"Shoes!" yelled Janice, and they unfastened and kicked them off. Then they removed their stockings as sensuously as possible. Next came shirts, unbuttoned and thrown aside, then skirts, which they moved down their hips as slowly as they could. By now Chandler was sitting up, looking much more interested, so much so that he had forgotten to cover himself and his excitement was evident.
Monica was convinced that he was looking particularly at her; it made her feel warm all over. Stripping for him alone did not seem nearly as unnerving as stripping in a room full of men would have been. In fact, she found it exciting, even strangely liberating, and now felt completely composed and ready for anything.
When they were down to bras and panties, Janice led them in a series of provocative poses, which they finished with their backs to him. As the tune entered its last chorus, Janice called "Hands to bras!" and each reached for the fastener – "and now!" They unfastened and turned, striking a pose with their arms wide, as the tune ended.
Chandler started, clutched at himself and did something that made him wince, then relaxed and began clapping furiously. Now seeming quite unfazed by the fact that they could see him naked, he cried, "Step right up, ladies, and get a full view of the Chan-Chan man!" and lay back in smiling self-satisfaction as they came up to the lounger.
"Oooh!" said Phoebe. "Janice, you were right: that's the biggest I've seen, I think." She licked her lips. "I wouldn't mind a piece of that."
Janice looked at her, then laughed wildly. "Go on, then," she said, giving her a little push. "I'm not stopping you."
"Oh, oh, really?" said Phoebe, sounding suddenly panicky. "But he's, like, your boyfriend …"
She stopped as Janice began doing a rather good chicken imitation.
Chandler sat up and grabbed Phoebe's wrist. "I claim my prize," he said in a portentous tone.
Phoebe laughed nervously, then cried, "All right!" and more or less ran with him into the bedroom. Shortly, giggles of a very different kind were heard.
Monica sat down on the lounger, feeling a distinct sense of let-down. She had not expected things to take this turn, but all of a sudden she felt very resentful of Phoebe's forwardness. She realised that she would have wanted Chandler to choose her, if anyone.
In a moment, Janice sat down beside her. "Well, I didn't foresee that," she said. "But never mind. There's enough of Chandler to go round." She cackled briefly, then looked at Monica closely. "You okay, Monica? You seem down."
Monica turned to her, noticing that she really had a fine body, which, ironically in the circumstances, made her feel even more turned on. "I was nervous as hell at first," she said, "but not now; instead, I'm all worked up."
Janice put an arm round her shoulder in a companionable way, which nevertheless brought her very close to Monica. "There are ways to relax."
"I think I've had quite enough wine already," said Monica.
Janice moved closer and brought her arm down so that she cupped Monica's right breast, then rubbed her palm gently across the nipple. "I was thinking of … something else."
Monica would never have expected it, but she found Janice's touch extremely arousing. If they had both been sober, Janice would probably not have made a move, and if she had Monica would have rejected it violently. As it was, she made no effort to push her away.
"Mmm," said Janice, noticing how Monica's nipple had stiffened. "You're not saying no."
"You really want me?" said Monica uncertainly, turning to look at her.
"I can never decide which one of you I like most," Janice said softly. "Right now, I think it's you." She began to run both her hands over and around Monica's breasts gently, looking at her steadily, her expression a mixture of pleading and desire.
"What about Chandler?" said Monica, feeling steadily more excited. Her heart was suddenly beating wildly, and her mouth seemed very dry. Was she really going to do this?
"He's doing all right," said Janice, "and so's Phoebe. Why shouldn't we have some fun?"
Monica made a decision. The wine she had drunk was making her feel reckless, and she was further incited by feelings of sexual frustration since breaking up with Richard, and by Rachel's comment about her inhibitedness, which still rankled.
"All right, Janice," she said softly. "Just this once, because I'm feeling the way I am. But won't we have to be quick?"
Janice's expression was one of incredulous joy. "Don't worry about that," she said. "Maybe Chandler will just to have to wait. Oh Monica, you won't regret it!"
She pulled her into a passionate kiss. Things seemed to move fast after that. Janice clearly knew very well what she was doing, and Monica found herself responding gladly to her caresses. She happily allowed her panties to be removed and herself to be fingered. Then Janice proceeded to do things with her mouth and tongue which sent Monica absolutely wild.
Afterwards she hugged and kissed Janice enthusiastically, feeling gloriously liberated by the thought that she had, of her own free will, done something that she very much doubted Rachel had ever done; she was not so sure about Phoebe.
"Oh Janice, I feel so much better," she said. Then a sudden thought struck her. "Did you and Chandler plan this?"
Janice looked at her slightly warily. "Not precisely. I had hopes – but I didn't tell him. He knows I like women as well as men; it turns him on – not that he needs much encouragement." She cackled briefly. "But he didn't know I was planning anything, I swear. He might guess, of course."
Monica giggled and hugged Janice again. "I don't care; I just don't care. Ooh, I get a kick out of saying that! Janice, you don't know what you've done for me. Now, I ought to do something for you."
But just then Phoebe came back into the living room. She was twirling her panties around one finger and looked very pleased with herself. When she saw them, she grinned broadly. "So, you're branching out, hey Mon?" she said. "Well, you ought to get some of that." She jerked her head in the direction of the bedroom. "I can thoroughly recommend it."
Monica gasped and felt herself tingle all over at the very thought of having sex with Chandler. She looked at Janice, wondering what she thought about this.
Janice was looking at her with a sly grin. "Go on!" she said, slapping her on the shoulder. "Be my guest! It's only fair, after all – and it'll give him a nice surprise!" She cackled again.
Monica gave her a quick kiss on the lips and jumped off the couch.
"Aren't you even gonna put your panties on?" said Phoebe in some surprise.
"Who needs them?" cried Monica gleefully, and shouting, "Chandler, here I come!" she positively ran into the bedroom.
"Wow!" said Phoebe, watching her with an indulgent smile. But she was frowning slightly as she turned to Janice. "Did you set this up to get to her?"
"Be reasonable, Phoebe," said Janice. "I couldn't possibly have predicted that she would loosen up like this. To be honest, I think it's partly the wine she drank."
"Well, okay," said Phoebe. She looked more closely at Janice. "You didn't get yours, did you?"
Janice shook her head, a rueful expression on her face. "I might have done, but you interrupted us."
"I could make that up to you," said Phoebe, with a glint in her eye. "I've been in prison, you know, so I've, like, been here before, and I have to say, Janice, you're looking very attractive tonight."
Janice giggled. "You say the nicest things. Come here, you gorgeous girl."
Tossing her panties aside, Phoebe lay down beside her. "This is turning into quite a night. You're a wicked woman, Janice – but right now I like it."
--
Chandler looked very taken aback when Monica came bounding in totally naked. "Monica!" he said. "What's gotten into you?"
"You talk too much," she said, with her most brilliant smile, as she lay down beside him, then threw her arms around him, kissed him soundly and began rubbing her body against his.
His hands went to her breasts. "Boy, you are worked up!" he said. "I'm … flattered."
The tone of his voice made her pull back to look at him. There was more than simple desire in his eyes. Continuing to move his hands all over her body, he said, "Monica, I've had a crush on you for the longest time."
Monica almost felt dizzy. Had Chandler wanted her all along, as she was now beginning to feel that she had wanted him? "But Janice … is your girlfriend," she said, between gasps of pleasure at his caresses.
"Let's forget Janice for the moment," he said. "This is about us." He leaned down to kiss her again.
She met him halfway. Something that had been latent between them seemed to have been released. They embraced and kissed with matching passion.
Suddenly Chandler groaned. "What are you doing to me?" He pulled back and reached hastily for a condom. "I don't think I can hold on much longer."
"You don't have to," she said, stroking him as she helped him put on the condom. "I feel ready."
"You better be," he said as he pulled her to him again.
Once they had, with a little initial awkwardness, got him inside her, she began bucking at him as frantically as he was pushing into her. They seemed to reach a climax very quickly, crying out each other's names. Then they came down slowly, kissing gently. Monica felt an enormous sense of satisfaction.
"Wow!" said Chandler. "That was … amazing. I'm still interested to know where it came from."
"Janice has set me free," said Monica exultantly, "at least for tonight. Maybe I'll be the Monica you all think is inhibited and uptight tomorrow, but tonight – tonight I am Monana!"
"Janice," said Chandler, with a slight edge to his voice. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. She can be … very seductive."
"You shouldn't mind, if I don't," said Monica, but she recognised that this was potentially dangerous ground and decided to divert his attention. "Was I better than Phoebe?" she asked teasingly.
"Phoebe was … fine," said Chandler. "In fact, she's lovely, but … there was something missing, something I found with you." He rolled over and looked at the ceiling, his expression sombre. "There are times when I wonder if it's missing with Janice too, now." He sighed. "We shouldn't have done this."
"It was Janice's idea," said Monica. "It started from her talking you up."
"Well, it's backfired on her," said Chandler, bitterness clear in his voice. "Now my feelings for you have been brought to the surface … Oh God, what am I going to do?" He put his hands over his eyes.
Monica pressed herself against him and kissed his cheek. "Who said not to think of Janice, this was about us?" She reached down and fondled his genitals. "Seems like part of you is inclined to agree."
"Vile temptress, once again you have your wicked way with me," said Chandler, trying for a light tone. "Let's see if we can make this one last."
--
"Aren't they taking rather long in there?" said Phoebe.
Janice snickered. "That's my Chandler: each time longer than the one before. By the time he gets to me, he'll be in top form."
"Was that why you set this up, then?" asked Phoebe.
"Um, no," said Janice. "To be honest, I hoped to get whoever of you I could. You're all so goddamn cute, I could eat you up."
Phoebe giggled. "Well, at least you didn't lie. I know perfectly well why you set this up – takes one to know one. Mind, I don't blame you: Monica is one beautiful piece of ass. You've made a good start, but I doubt you'll get Rachel. She's really gone on Ross."
"That's okay," said Janice. "I don't want to horn in on any real love affairs. Say, they are taking rather a long time, aren't they?"
"Perhaps I should tell you, I think Chandler has a crush on Monica," said Phoebe.
"No!" cried Janice, sitting up straight in apparent alarm and putting her hand to her heart dramatically.
"I have kind of gotten that impression," said Phoebe. "And I'd say it was confirmed by his behaviour tonight," she added slightly maliciously.
Janice jumped off the lounger and ran to the bedroom. "Monica, time's up!" she yelled. "Get your ass out here! It's time I got to play with my Bing-a-ling."
Inside the bedroom, Chandler sighed. "Thanks for a lovely experience," he said to Monica.
"I'm not letting it stop here," said Monica firmly. "I'll be in touch." She gave him a last kiss, got up and sauntered to the door, from which she blew him a kiss. Then she walked out, to be confronted by a rather agitated Janice.
"You took a darned long time!" she burst out.
Monica looked at her coolly, undaunted by her somewhat greater height and heft. "He's yours for as long as you want after this," she said, "and you've had me as well. I don't think you've got anything to complain about, Janice." She walked past her and into the living room, where Phoebe looked at her with an expression of lively interest, coupled with an appreciative inspection of Monica's body.
"So, you really hit it off with Chandler?" she said.
Monica's air of composure slipped somewhat. She sat down on the lounger, looking at the floor. "Oh God, Phoebe, I think I'm falling for him," she said. "Now what are we going to do?"
"Well, I'll tell you what we are, like, not gonna do," said Phoebe, sitting beside her and putting an arm around her, "and that's mope about it. Let's go and see if there's any more of that wine."
--
Rachel returned unexpectedly early that night, to find Phoebe and Monica sitting at the table, Phoebe partly dressed but rather disshevelled, Monica in her bathrobe. They were finishing off a bottle of wine and seemed in high spirits, especially Monica.
"Well, if it isn't my shweet roomie!" she said, and jumped up to embrace her enthusiastically.
"Are you drunk?" said Rachel coldly, pulling her face back.
"Nooo," said Monica owlishly, then, "Well, maybe a li'l. But I've gotta right to be. I'm shele … cel'brating."
Phoebe snickered.
"Celebrating what?" said Rachel. "Phoebe, what's gotten into her?"
"Quite a lot, one way and another," said Phoebe.
She kept her face straight, but Monica bent double, howling with laughter. Straightening up, she pointed a finger at Rachel and said, "I'll tell you what I'm shel'brating – the loss of my inbit … inerbish … my hangupsh." She did some steps from their routine. "I've done a shtriptease – an' I've made love with" – she ticked them off on her fingers – "Janish and Chan'ler – hoo boy! I am shuper-Monana!" She twirled with her hands in the air, collapsed backwards onto the couch, and beamed up at Rachel, whose face expressed amazement and alarm in equal measure.
"Phoebe, is this true?" she said sternly.
"Yes," said Phoebe, "and you had a damn good time, didn't you, Monica?"
"You betcha," cried Monica. "Wheeee!" She lay on her back and pedalled her legs in the air, making it quite clear that she was wearing nothing underneath the robe.
"Monica, for heaven's sake!" snapped Rachel. "Must you show off everything you've got? It's disgusting."
"Ho ho, who's inerbitted now?" said Monica derisively. "Li'l mish prude! I bet you haven' made love with a man an' a woman inna shame evening!"
Rachel looked despairingly at Phoebe, who was giving every sign of enjoying Monica's performance. "Isn't she great when she's drunk?" she said. "Anyway, why are you home so early?"
"Ross had a paper to write; he said it was really urgent," said Rachel rather peevishly. "He couldn't keep his mind on anything else, so I left him to it."
"Sho you're the one, feeling frush'rated," said Monica. "We're all shatishfied, aren't we, Pheebsh?" She leered at Phoebe, who giggled.
"Monica, you're behaving really badly," said Rachel censoriously. "I'm surprised at you."
Monica appeared to think about this. "I'd be shurprised at me, if I was shober," she said reflectively. "But y'know what? Being drunk makesh me not care about thingsh 'at I would care about, if I was shober." She nodded as if in appreciation of what she had said.
"Such as? You seem to be having a great time," said Rachel sarcastically.
Monica's face grew doleful. "Well, here'sa shituation. Chan'ler an' me, we have feelingsh for eash other. We jush' foun' out. But Janish is his girlfrien'." She began to sniffle. "An' now my besh' frien' is all mad at me, an' " – the expression on her face changed to alarm – "I think I'm gonna throw up." She rushed for the bathroom.
Rachel stood frozen for a moment, then turned to Phoebe. "That's true too? Her and Chandler?"
"Absolutely true," said Phoebe in a serious tone. "I tried to get her mind off of it, but you had to bring it up."
"I didn't know I was bringing it up!" Rachel cried. "Oh my God, she needs support!" She hurried to the bathroom, from which wails and ghastly noises were coming. A few minutes later she reappeared, leading a subdued-looking Monica to the couch.
"Of course I love you," she was saying, "and I will help you any way I can with Chandler, though I'm not easy about this whole deal."
Monica's brow furrowed. "Wha' d'you mean?" she said, evidently far from sober still, though she sounded better.
"It seems pretty clear to me that Janice set this up to get to at least one of us – " said Rachel.
"Right," interpolated Phoebe, "she told me so."
Rachel looked at her quellingly. "Are you gonna tell me that Chandler wasn't in on it with the same motivation, to lay as many of his friends as he could?"
Monica shook her head. "It didn' feel like that," she said stubbornly. "It wasn' like that. He was … all upset over bringing his feelings for me to the surface, when Janice was his girlfrien'. He said so."
"But she's with him now," said Rachel, "and likely to be for the rest of the night."
"Don' remind me!" said Monica violently. "Why d'you think I been drinking?"
"I'm sorry, hon," said Rachel, hugging her, "but you have to face facts."
"Don' wanna," said Monica mulishly. "Chan'ler an' me are meanta be together."
Rachel sighed. "I think you'd better go to bed, and we'll all see how we feel about this in the morning, Chandler included. I expect he'll be in to breakfast – maybe Janice too. At least it's Sunday and you don't have to work – and I'm not on the early shift at Central Perk."
Monica nodded several times, then staggered to her feet. "Oopsh. Think I'm gonna need help."
Rachel sighed again. "Get her some water, Pheebs. I'll start getting her ready for bed."
"Ooh, seckshy!" said Monica merrily, her mood swinging again. She hugged Rachel rather too affectionately.
"None of that," said Rachel sternly, pushing her away. "Save it for Janice. Come along now." She started walking Monica to the bedroom.
Monica grinned at her. "That really got unna your skin, didn' it?"
Rachel flushed. "I'm sure I don't know what you mean. I think you're gonna regret all of this tomorrow, and not just because you'll have a hangover."
Monica shook her head violently, then groaned and put her hand to her brow. "No. No way. Whatever happens, I am so not gonna regret this, an' I'm not gonna go back to being the exact same Monica I was. You better believe it." She collapsed onto her bed. "You an' Janice between you have set me free from that Monica, even if you didn' inten' to."
Phoebe brought in a jug of water, a glass and a bowl. "She's right, you know, Rachel," she said. "She'll never forget how much she enjoyed what she did. Whatever else you might say about Janice's part in this, she's a very good lover."
"You too?" said Rachel, raising her eyebrows.
"I'll give you the details later," said Phoebe. "Let's get Monica tucked up."
Between them they got Monica out of her robe and into a nighty, while she giggled and tried to stroke them, ignoring Rachel's demands that she behave. Phoebe put the bowl on the floor near her head. "Can't be sure she's finished," she said to Rachel. "Now, Mon, you make use of that if you have to, you hear? You don't wanna make a mess on your nice bedroom carpet, do you?"
"Ooh no," said Monica. "Can' have messes." She rolled over and her eyes closed. After watching her for a few moments, they turned out the light and left.
"That sounded more like the old Monica," Rachel commented as they sat down again.
"Rachel, you shouldn't want her to go all the way back," said Phoebe, quite severely for her. "You should recognise that this has been, y'know, liberating for her, even if you don't approve of some of what she did. But I think you should be more broad-minded. Where's the harm in it if Janice did make love with her, or me? It's just fun sex."
"Well, I don't trust that woman," said Rachel defensively. "And I don't want Monica getting ideas about me. I love you both, but I've never felt about either of you like that."
"What, never?" said Phoebe, looking at her keenly. "Be honest, now."
Rachel fidgeted and looked away. "Well – maybe I've come close once or twice. But I don't want you making advances to me," she said fiercely.
"Why would I do that?" said Phoebe, her tone as fierce as Rachel's. "You're in love with Ross. Why straights assume gays or bi's are, like, gonna want to jump their bones at a moment's notice is more than I know."
"Sorry, Pheebs," said Rachel contritely. "It's all been a bit of a shock, and I haven't had much time to adjust. So what do you think about this Chandler thing?"
Phoebe thought for a moment. "From what she said when she came out of his bedroom, it sounded like he was genuine about his feelings. I always thought he had a crush on her. I think that's why he went along with this, for a chance to see her." She grinned. "He got more than he bargained for: she was wild."
Rachel considered. "Yeah, I think you're right about the crush. Well, we'll have to see how things look in the morning."