Summary: Cuddy's breasts are talking. House wants to hear. Just a short bit of fun. Slight Huddy.
Rating: I suppose mentioning breasts makes this a T.
Disclaimer: House isn't mine. He's a bit too Foxy.
A/N: Just a bit of a joke I wrote for a friend – I know it's bizarre. Reviews would be greatly appreciated if you have the time.
Partybags
"House!"
He span around as slowly and smoothly as his cane allowed.
"You surely don't think you're going to get away with this?"
He closed his eyes in a pained expression. "Sorry, Dr Cuddy, had a sudden feeling of déjà vu, thought I was back in Amsterdam for a minute."
She blinked away the insult. Her face was the picture of fury, no familiar softness that he'd become accustomed to seeing these days; no curved crescent of a hint of a smile when the shouting began; certainly no sexual innuendo or shameless flaunting of, erm, her talents.
So he just stared anyway, lost in a reverie that was her breasts, the way her top clung, the way the woollen material hugged and shaped and curved and . . .
"House! Are you actually ignoring me now?"
He blinked slowly, clearing the fog. Partypants. Partybags more like.
"This is just one step too far, even for you. Do you understand what I'm saying? Could you actually look at my face?"
They were staring back, he could swear.
He opened his mouth to begin.
"Well?" she demanded.
"I like your breasts."
She was seething. "House." she whispered, dangerously low.
"Dr Cuddy?" he replied with perfect civility.
"That was uncalled for."
"An uncalled for compliment? Wow, I'll be sure to reverse charge next time."
She closed her eyes. He knew there would be more shouting. He thought he could hear her breasts screaming the words 'Clinic Hours' at him already.
"Wakey wakey." he shouted at them.
"What are you doing?" she shouted back.
"Trying to perk them up a bit."
Her eyes were suddenly the only still element to her trembling face. "That is it." she said slowly.
"End of the world?"
"Game over, House."
"Not clinic hours Cuddy." he whined.
"No clinic hours. My office. Now."
His eyes widened. She smiled. Just a slip of control, but it was enough. He knew if he spoke his voice would be nothing but a squeak.
Sorry. Full stop.