A/N: This isn't new, I wrote this ages ago for a challenge thing I'm doing. But, I love some of them, a lot, so I decided to start a drabble series. They're all going to be short, we're talking, probably not over a thousand words. But, I like them, nonetheless. And I hope you like them as well. (Also, those of you reading Pandora's Box, it WILL be updated. And soon. It's just ... giving me fits. Sorry!)
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Got it memorized? ... Oh gods. Don't own that phrase, either.
Demyx watched Zexion write in his journal (diary) almost every night. He's sit at the softly illuminated desk while Demyx laid in the dark. The darkness around him was both literal and figurative. Zexion closed him out of his mind, left him in the dark. And the light from the desk didn't reach his resting place.
It bothered him, though, that Zexion chose to confide only to his journal. He wanted to be let into Zexion's mind, he wanted to know what went on in Zexion's thoughts. And was that such a big deal, really? To want to know things about his lover? Wasn't he supposed to know things like that?
But Zexion was secretive and quiet, even around the person he'd chosen to share his home, body, and life with. Demyx didn't like it, but he didn't have much of a choice in the matter. Of course, he'd brought up the topic one, but all he'd got for this trouble was a shrug, a kiss, and a really good shag.
So Demyx told himself it was alright that Zexion didn't want to have in-depth conversation about his emotions or particular ideas. He told himself that none of that really mattered because he knew Zexion loved him.
But there were times when he was hit with a thought so strong he couldn't dispel it; what if Zexion didn't love him? The question would creep into his mind and into his soul until he thought it might destroy him.
And just when he thought it couldn't get any worse it evaporated as quickly and as suddenly as it had appeared. It left its imprint, though. And that mark scarred over only to be cut into over and over again.
Slowly his displeasure and unease grew. The emotions took their toll on him, made his shoulders sag and his ocean blue eyes loose some of their sparkle. And the worst part? Zexion seemed not to notice. Their sex was greater; longer, sweeter, and far more fulfilling. But it was only a superficial thing, really, when compared to Demyx's true happiness.
As time progressed the harsh feelings eroded more and more of Demyx's ability to smile. It was getting to a point that Zexion finally took notice. But not in a way Demyx would have liked.
Zexion started coddling him, trying to take care of him. Demyx thought he probably thought Demyx was sick. And that was the truth, really. Because Demyx was sick; sick of not knowing whether or not Zexion actually loved him the way he sometimes said he did.
And really, it was only a matter of time before watching Zexion from the darkness became too much for Demyx to stand. It was only a matter of time before he slid out from under the silken sheets to prowl over to the dark desk.
He took the key and journal from the table and went into the adjoining bathroom to read it.
This is what he found in the entry:
Demyx still doesn't seem to be himself, even though I've tried nearly everything I can think of to make him feel better. Originally I thought he was sick, or at the very least coming down with something, but now I'm not too sure.
I think I may be at fault. I think he's misconceiving my silence for something else. But what? What does he really think? I don't know, but I wish I did.
Just like I wish I could pull him into my arms and tell him all my secrets (maybe in time…) It would be nice to be able to tell him all about why I'm as quiet and calculating as I am.
But I can't. I can't manage more than a lousy 'I love you.' And I know that that's just the person I am, but he deserves someone who can fulfill his desire for actual intimacy. He deserves someone far more capable and better than I.
But I'm not going to let him go. I swear that on everything I've never loved and always wanted. I will not loose the one person I love.
Demyx smiled softly. The words he'd read weren't what he'd expected to read, but they warmed his heart and brought the smile back to his face. Zexion did love him, of course her did.
How could he ever have doubted that?
A/N: Thanks for reading. I have more, but I'm not sure when I'll get around to posting them (my computer at home doesn't have any internet, so, I have to post things at school. And that can be a little difficult sometimes ...)