Here's another fic translated, with the precious help of my adorable beta leianaberrie.

This is very short, it's the first BonKai fic I wrote, when I really falled for this ship, in 6x13. Enjoy ^_^

The day I tried to die

Bonnie.

You've watched her for months, secretly, just like you're doing right now.

You've seen her eat, cook, fight, dance. Now you see her crumble.

You've heard her scream, giggle, sing out loud. Now you hear her cry.

Luke's damn emotions are annoying you. Why did he have to be so sensitive?

Bonnie is sensitive, too. She's destroyed, but that's understandable. You've been there, too. You know what it's like to go crazy from the loneliness, to realize that talking to yourself doesn't make it easier. You know what Bonnie's considering: the most painless way to leave, the most decent way. You thought about that too, in your time. You prepared everything: the best suit, the perfect place, the flowers, the prayers. You were ready.

Then you woke up the next day, and you were in hell again. Alone again. You tried again. You changed the way, you skipped the trifles. You came back. You tried again, and again, and again. You literally tried every method. You learnt first hand every single way a human can kill himself.

You should get some kind of prize for that.

Or maybe it's Bonnie who gets the prize? Yes, because she got there all alone, still intact, still beautiful. She should get the prize as "The Best Thinf A Prison's World Has Held". She was the first person you saw in twenty years. Her laugh was the first human sound you heard. She was ducking from Damon as he dramatized something from a film, and she laughed happily as she skipped down the market shelves, her skirt's hem brushing against her soft thighs. She was a vision. You thought you had finally gone totally insane. But you were wrong. She was there to save you.

What a strange fate she got, right? From what you know now, she died to save her friends. She let every one of them painfully pass through her. She sacrificed herself to save Damon too, and then die alone, forgotten by everyone.

Do you think about that? What would have happened if she came to you alone? Would you have been nicer? Maybe you would have killed each other after a couple days. She's bad ass. Bad ass, but not enough. Not enough to hold on a little bit more.

If only you were nicer with her, maybe you would have got out together. Instead you left her behind, for revenge. You abandoned the one that has set you free, the one that gave you life in that hell. The one that gave you hope. While Damon hided in his negation, you welcomed every glimmer of hope Bonnie transmitted. She enlightened Mystic Falls. She smiled while she walked in the empty street with her thighs always on display. Like she knew you were there to repay every smile, planning your plan of escape.

Maybe it's Luke's feeling, or maybe it's you feeling bad for that sunsbeam?

You can do nothing else then watch her die. You're dying too, on the other side, you fool! Cruel fate! It fooled you. It trapped you both, it set you free and left her there just to make you die together.

Where will you go when you'll be dead, Kai? Will you find another Bonnie Bennett to keep you company? You hope so while your strenght abandon you and the spell breaks.

You're still alive, but you feel pain. Your chest is heavy, like you're still alone, even if there's people around you.

That's what it feels like to be alive, Malachai. You feel. And no, this time you're really sure it's not only Luke's fault.