A/N: This is my first one-shot ever, and it takes place on episode 6.02 after Peyton tells Brooke she is in LA with Lucas and that they are getting married. It's from Brooke's POV. Hope you all like it. Reviews are highly appreciated. The name and the summary were inspired on a song from Crossfade. Let me know what you think, OK?
Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill or its characters.
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Marriage:
The state of being married;The union of a man and a woman, to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life;
A wedding; A close and intimate union; A joining of two parts;
A king and a queen.
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Brooke turned her phone off.
She stayed paralyzed for a few seconds, just staring at nothing in front of her. Brooke wrapped her sweater around her body, trying to feel somehow safer. She dialed on her iphone, asking for the person on the other side of the line meet her at her store. As soon as she turned the cell phone off, she felt a pit of pain on her stomach. She was still trembling.
The brunette felt the cold tears starting to pour down her injured face. She wasn't physically hurting anymore, the sound of Peyton's announcement was echoing inside of her, and hurting a lot more. It was her heart that was aching. Although she said the words out loud, she knew she wasn't happy for her friend. She couldn't be. Brooke would never admit she still had feelings for Lucas, their relationship was a heartbreaker for both of them, she was totally aware of that. But at the same time, she couldn't lie to herself. She could hide that feeling from the world, but not from her own heart. On top of everything that was happening in her life, having to deal with Peyton and Lucas getting married was certainly not what she needed at the moment. She'd just learned how to be comfortable with them being together again, but engaged? That was something she never thought she'd have to deal with, at least, not so soon.
Even though almost six years had passed, she couldn't allow herself to be in a good relationship. In fact, she avoided all the potential guys who could make that statement true. She wanted a family. She needed one. But every time she dreamt about this family, Lucas was standing right beside her. He was her first love, the one person who made her feel worthy, like she mattered because of who she was, he helped her to become a stronger and better person, he saved her soul, and now he was marrying her best friend. When she got back to her old town, and learned that Lucas was getting married to Lindsay, it was easy, it didn't hurt. Deep inside she knew they wouldn't end up together, they didn't fit at all. All of them could see it; even the supposed bride to be could see it in the end. But now, it was so much more complicated. To her, Lucas and Peyton were the perfect match.
She flinched, thinking about Peyton's last words again, within a second she could see her own life passing by. She saw their wedding, their kids; she saw them growing old together while she was the one standing alone. She had lost the only boy she'd ever loved to the girl she loved the most.
It was such an indescribable feeling.
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Relationship:
A state of connectedness between people;
A strong bond existing between those who share a common interest or activity.
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Brooke walked slowly towards her couch, she was still crying, silently. It was difficult for her to walk without feeling her whole body aching. She sat slowly on the couch, pulling the stripped throw blanket on top of her, gently. Since she got back to Tree Hill she had never felt so lonely. The silence surrounding the house was very disturbing. How could they not know? How could they look into her eyes and not see that she was hurting? She would laugh around them, pretend nothing was wrong when deep inside she was hurting all along.
Everything seemed so shallow, empty. She glanced around the living room, trying to find something that looked remotely familiar, but nothing there belonged to her. For an instant, it was all too cold and ugly. Nothing could ease her pain. She'd bought every single piece of that house; every detail had been made for someone else. She wanted so desperately to make that place into her home, that she forgot the point in it all. She didn't know what she was looking for anymore. The sad brunette tried to fill the hole inside of her chest with something, anything she could think of. But nothing was enough. The blank spot remained there, painfully marked inside of her. And now she realized what was missing all along. Only Lucas could turn that place into home.
He was home.
She let a few tears fall from her swollen eyes, taking a steady breath in. The young woman was about to collapse. She fought against her tears once more, she winced, but it was already too late. The certainty of Lucas' wedding brought all those hidden feelings to the outside, she sobbed. All those emotions she held in for so long were on the verge. She could no longer keep them in. Brooke could not hold back the tears anymore. They were stronger than her. So she gave in, and cried. She cried until her body was drained out. She had no voice, she could not breathe.
Suddenly in that very moment, she forgot all about the attack, she put all her fears behind. She couldn't think about Victoria, or anything that had bothered her the whole day. Nothing mattered. She was just Brooke Davis, the girl behind the red door, with the same old broken heart.
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I know it's very short, but I hope you all enjoyed it.