A/N: Okay I am absolutely horrible for starting a new story while my others are at a stand still. But honestly, I am at a road block with More Than Words and While We Wait, I know where I want those story's to go I just can't seem to put it on paper and maybe that's because I am going the wrong way with them. SOMEONE, ANYONE, if you are willing to help, take over, rewrite, I am up for it.

When I tried to sit down to write more chapters for my other story's this is what sort of came out. Know I am not sure about it quite yet a few things might be changed so consider this a sneak peek. I just want to know what everyone thinks.

Jasper leaves his soul mate behind in hopes she will turn her life around for him. Will she regret the bad decisions she's made or will she give up on life all together.

Mostly JPOV. ALL HUMAN

Winter by Joshua Radin

Disclaimer: Do not own Twilight


JPOV

Here I was.

Speeding down the 101.

I didn't want to be, considering I had special cargo in the back seat, but I knew with every inch of my body that if I didn't get away fast, I would be turning this car around and heading back to her.

I have been thinking about all the hurtful words that were spoken between the two of us tonight. "Jasper you can't do this." I didn't want to remember, but I couldn't get them out of my head. I knew she was just severely angry with me and didn't mean half of the things that she said, but it still hurt like a fucking knife to the gut.

I wasn't sure if this was the right thing to do, but I just couldn't take it anymore. If it was just me I had to worry about, I would have given up along time ago. I tried to make it work for as long as possible but after what happened tonight it finally triggered in my mind that things weren't getting better, and they weren't going to either.

It's not that I didn't love her, because I did, with every fucking beat of my heart I did. I just couldn't sit back and watch her ruin her life anymore, our lives.

I tried with everything in me to help her but it wasn't enough.

I wasn't enough.

We weren't enough.

How can you help someone who doesn't want to be helped?

The only reason for me leaving. The only good thing in my life anymore, and the only reason I tried so many times to help her was because of the person in the back seat.

My baby. I wanted more for her, I wanted her to feel safe and protected not scared and alone.

She is the best thing that ever happened to me. The first time I ever laid eyes on her I knew I had to change my life around. I knew I had to stop with the shit and get it together so I could take care of her.

My life was no where close to the way I imagined or wanted in the beginning, but life never goes the way you intend it to. Hell, I would probably be in college right now. Maybe go to a few party's and get piss ass drunk just to fuck some girl and not have to remember her name the next morning.

"Please……don't do this" I can still see the tears running down her face. She knew she'd crossed the line tonight when she walked in the front door and saw me standing there with all our bags packed. "What the fuck is this?" She knew what the fuck it was. I had warned so many times before but hadn't ever followed through with my threats, until tonight. I don't think she ever thought I would really dare to do it. She probably is still standing on the front porch waiting for me to come back and forgive her.

But not this time. I wouldn't forgive her this time.

I don't think anyone can imagine the shit that I have put up with. I probably should have left along time ago but that little inkling of hope that she would see what was more important stopped me.

I was hoping that me leaving wasn't going to make things worse. Most of all I was trusting that it would make things better.

She knew what my expectations were if she wanted us to come back. She knew that things had to change or I would make this a permanent thing.

But god help me, I didn't want it to get to that. I still loved her. That's why it hurt so bad. When ever I tried to talk to her about why she was doing the things she was, she'd just shrug it off as stress.

I knew it was more though.

I remember the night of graduation, we got into a huge ass fight when I found her on the doorstep high as hell. I looked for her all night. After the ceremony we were going to have a little celebration of our own. I wanted to spend time with my girl and only my girl. I wanted to have just one night with no responsibility's, no friends, and definitely none of her 'stress relief methods'. Just the two of us, sober and clean.

But when she finally showed up that night, I had had it. I told my self it was the last time. I didn't want my baby having to live with that.

And now finally three years later, I can defiantly say I've had enough.

"I fucking hate you Jasper Whitlock." The last thing I heard her yell as I shut the car door. She had said it so many times to me before, but not the same way as this time. This time there was so much hatred behind the actual words.

I guess I couldn't actually blame her for hating me.

My family wasn't happy with my decision either. Most of all being Esme. I called her tonight to tell her that she had taken off again with no way of me to find her. I told her I was done, and that I just couldn't live with it anymore.

When I told Esme I was leaving she through a fit, almost as worse as Alice. She said I was making a mistake and that there where other options to consider.

There wasn't though.

I had considered them all.

Hell, I had tried them all.

I didn't want to leave my family behind. Especially sense they have been so sympathetic towards me. They took me in when my grandfather died, I was the near age of fifteen. He was my legal guardian and the only family I had at the time. When Alice found out she told her parents about my situation and they agreed to get custody of me until I was eighteen.

That's when this whole mess started. Living down the hall from Alice was a curse and a blessing all at the same time. It was just to easy to slip into her room and into her bed at night. We had some of our most intimate times in that bed. Most nights we would just talk about life and what we wanted out of the future. Other nights we would spend getting high as hell and trying to be quite so her family didn't here us, but there would also be nights we would be worshiping each others bodies from head to toe.

The night we decided to go all the way was one of the best of my life. It was imperfect and perfect all at the same time. We had given each other something that could never be taken back. Something so full of unconditional love I thought my heart was going to bust out of my chest.

I think there had been only one flaw with the whole night. We were making the biggest mistake of our lives without even thinking twice about it.

That night we did something we couldn't take back if we wanted to. That was the night we changed our life for better and worse.

"Daddy." That was the night we made her.

"Hey baby, your awake." I looked in the back seat to see her slowly sitting up, rubbing all the sleepiness out of her eyes. Just looking into those big beautiful green eyes I knew this was the right thing to do, she didn't deserve this, she didn't deserve to be put through all the crap Alice was putting us through.

"Daddy, I'm hungry."

"Will be in Seattle in a few minutes. Why don't you come sit in the front seat for awhile."

"Mommy says I'm not aloud."

"I know but I think this once it will be okay." I gave her a reassuring smile. She nodded and proceeded to crawl over the seat.

I loved talking to my daughter. It wasn't like talking to a normal six year old, she was smart and very prospective. Maybe it was because of all the stuff she has gone through in a very short amount of time. Talking to her made me never want to forget the mistake Alice and I made all those years ago.

The mistake I liked to call more of a surprise.

A mistake is something you regret, a surprise is something unexpected, and most the time surprises are a good thing. In this case a great thing.

Whenever Lucy would ask me if she was a mistake, I would tell her 'Absolutely not, you are the best surprise I've ever been given'. That seemed to make her happy.

Alice didn't want to keep Lucy in the beginning of her pregnancy, and I totally understood why, we were fifteen. I just couldn't for the life of me make myself take a precious baby's life away. Not even if I was only fifteen.

"I can't do it Alice" I looked down at her sitting on the bed. "Please Al, I will help you with whatever you need but not this."

"It doesn't matter what you want Jasper, it's not your body that has to go though this." I stared into her tear filled eyes.

"But it is my baby." She looked up at me. I knew when I mentioned baby she was almost regretting her decision, almost. She never like to think of it as killing a baby, just as getting something out of her body that couldn't be there.

"Alice, Please, I love you, we can get through this together..................there is a part of me Ali...........inside of you that you are killing." I knelled down in front of her so I could hold her face in my hands "Please!"

"Daddy, your crying again." I tried to shake the memory out of my head.

"I'm sorry baby, I just miss mommy is all." I wiped the tears from my eyes before grabbing her small petite hand in mine. Lucy didn't quite understand why we were leaving but I knew she had a pretty good idea. She knew her mother was sick and had to get some help that we couldn't give her.

A/N: Reviews welcome.