DISCLAIMER ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO ALL RIGHTFUL OWNERS JUST FOR INTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY!
This is what I believe what was going through Callie mind in 6x24. It continues after that to. I used the original lines between her and Arizona only thing that is different is the thought process, but the story does continue where the show left off. Please enjoy and review! Next chapter should be up soon!
I was standing there. Talking with Mark about something that I can't even process at the moment. For she walked by and everything went out the window. Breaking up with her. Leaving her. The thought brings this sensational ache throughout my body. But it happened. I left her; I gave up the only person that really saw me. She knew when to hold me and when to let me be. She knew when to let me cry and when to talk. She always had the right thing to say. I didn't expect. Didn't want to fall this hard. She walks into a room and I can't breathe.
Mark: Callie, Callie, you there?
Callie: Yeah Sorry, What about the patient.
Mark turns around to see what caught the eye of his best friend it doesn't take but a second to see the blonde on roller skates playing with the kids across the room.
Mark: Callie you have got to pull yourself together. You're at work if I was another attending they would have chewed you out just then.
Callie: I know I'm sorry just give me a sec.
Mark watches as she walks away to head to the break room, and shakes his head.
Arizona looks up from the little boy just in time to see Callie leaving the floor. She quickly goes back to talking to the little boy to feel anything but the sorrow.
1 HOUR LATER
Callie passes Mark in the hallway. She grabs his arm and pulls him into the closet.
Mark: Oh so we are back to this are we. (He says with a smirk on his face.)
Callie: No we are not back to this.
Callie starts pacing.
Mark: Ok whatever you do, do not start talking Spanish on me here.
Callie: I can't breathe, I just can't. They put me on her floor today. A whole day spent with the women I am madly in love with, but can't be with. For she WONT have kids. I can't I just can't do this. I mean she could have tried I did everything to picture me without kids. But did she even try to picture her with one. No, No she didn't. Ok maybe for a moment, but I had to talk her into it, and then she dismissed it without a second thought. I love her, I'd do anything, but she wouldn't even process it. That's it. I hate her. I hate her. I can do this for I hate her.
Callie walks out of the closet leaving Mark just standing there.
Mark: Wow she is in some pain, he makes a smirk this should be an interesting day.
I step on the floor and see Alex. I go to approach him and somewhere in the middle of our conversation she walks up with that big smile of hers, that lovely smile and simply says Hi. Like nothing is wrong at all. She's not in any pain. Oh yeah I hate her, I got this. I just simply walk away. It wasn't as simple as it looked for as I turned around the thought of hurting her feelings still killed me. God what is wrong with me.
A few more hours passed I've looked at some of my patience and here comes the hard part I have to go back out on the main floor, to get charts, I have to face her again. There she was leaning against the counter feeling out charts. Again looking like nothing could touch her. She was flawless. Ok just walk up get what you need and leave. Does it ever go like this no. Never…
The phone rings, the nurse picks it up and we are on lock down. The first thing Arizona can say is this a joke? Of course because nothing can be real to her for nothing can touch her. And then the beepers go off and we all realize there is something serious happening. Of course she does what she does best and takes charge and starts giving out commands. And she did it she made a comment to me.
Arizona: I really thought that was a joke.
Callie: Sick joke
Arizona: Excuse me?
Callie: Uh nothing.
Arizona: sighs, what, what you can't be stuck on the same floor with me that's a hardship for you?
Callie: Uh, yeah frankly it is.
I just walk away; I can't argue with her, I can't handle it.
Things started to get crazy to many kids and not enough doctors. I have to work with her. I have no choice. I start to offer to put the kids in the play room that way everyone can keep an eye on each other. I can tell she is starting to panic. I hate to see her panic, but yet the pain is still so real that I almost like it. Of course someone questions me on it, but she has my back like always, and then she smiled and thanked me and I did what I'm doing best today. Said whatever and walked away. I can do this. I can.
Of course we bumped into each other putting the kids in the room, and of course she wants to speak. Ok I've had this I can speak my mind if she wants to talk we will talk.
Arizona: I thought we were going to be friends.
Callie: You want to talk about this now? Were on lock down, moving kids, God knows what's happening, and you want to talk about this.
Arizona: Well we are stuck here and we have to be together so yeah I want to talk about this.
Callie: Ok, Fine, I tried being friends, rising above, I tried that and now I'm over it. I'm going to go the more traditional route of totally hating your guts.
Arizona: Sighs
We get into the room and just as I think I'm making an exit she runs after me.
Arizona: Whoa whoa, whoa,whoa, I don't deserve this. Ok I've treated you with nothing but respect, and love.
Callie: Oh no see that's the thing you think that you have but you haven't.
Arizona: I'm sure that it feels great to act like I'm that bad guy, but that's the biggest load of you know what that I've ever heard of.
Callie: I have spent the last month trying to convince myself that I don't need kids to be happy. Really trying. Giving lectures to myself. Saying it out loud to you, and to Mark, and turning myself inside out to want what you wanted, and then I stopped for a second and I thought. Did you ever try? To imagine what it would be like to change for me, because I don't think you did. What you did was dismiss my dream. My Dream which says to me you don't give a rat's ass if I'm happy. I never understood squat about who you are and now I do and I don't like it.
Callie: Really, Really, Really, I'm supposed to change for you? Why, because where in love? I mean because you fall in love all the time. Men, Women.
And then of course we get interrupted. A little girl's appendix is rupturing and all I can think about is getting back to my argument with Arizona, God what is wrong with me today. And there's my time she walks away and like the idiot I am I follow her.
Callie: When are you going to forgive me for not being a good enough lesbian for you?
Arizona: When you do something to convince me that you're falling in love with me, and not with being in love. When you do something to convince me that I'm different then George O'malley, Erika Haung, Mark Sloan, or the girl at the coffee cart. I mean you have a huge heart, and I love that about you, but I don't trust you. Why would I?
It's like she took the breath right out of me. I couldn't speak I just stood there for what seemed like the longest second of my life. I just stood, and thankfully the other doctor came back and we were on the move again. We were in the room and I was holding the little girls hand trying to make this easier on her in whatever way possible, and of course Arizona had to give me that smile that I loved, but when I looked up to look into those beautiful eyes I saw something horrible instead. Arizona quickly turned around to see what Horrified me so much. She saw the man in the door way and she looked down and saw the gun. Her first reaction was to say there were only children here, and that's why I love her. She thought about the child first. She bent over to protect her, not thinking of anything else. I could see the fear in her eyes the panic in her voice has she kept repeating the same thing. Over and over. There are only children here. My breath is like pants, I start to realize that he is talking. They shot me he says. I start to feel my legs move. I'm getting up walkng towards the man with the gun. I'm not sure why. All I know is I wanted to be in front of Arizona and that child I wanted him to leave. He tells me his name. I go to hand him bandages for his wound. I tell him to press them to his wound to stop the bleeding. I can hear the girl crying in the back ground and the women I love panicked voice still saying the same thing. I want him gone. I tell him to just take them. He puts the gun right in front of me lying on his hand for me to put the bandages on top of. For a minute I thought about grabbing it from him, but I just want him gone. Away from her. I hated that sound in her voice. I hated this feeling of panic and fear that is so thick I could touch it. I just wanted him gone. He thanks me which almost makes me sick. He walks away and I quickly shut the door. I go sit down to start comforting the little girl, while doing so I knew I needed to comfort Arizona to, I need her to know I loved her.
Little Girl: I want my mommy.
Callie: I know, and you know what until she gets here you have the best doctor in the whole world with you right now. Yeah Doctor Robbins is the best doctor in this entire hospital. I think in the whole world. Yeah people feel so much better after she helps them. (While I'm talking I can hear Arizona start to try to breathe normal again.) Sometimes people feel better after she walks in the room, because she has got this super magic smile. Yeah and when she smiles at you everything gets better. (While I say this she finally turns to look at me with tears streaming down her face. My heart aches for her.) You don't know it because you have your back towards her right now, but she is giving you wow she is giving you her best super magic smile. Ant that right Doctor Robbins. As she is still calming down, Arizona starts to smile and she speaks. "Right, I am." I look at Arizona after the girl finally calms down.
Callie: I have to call the police ok.
Arizona: I'm I'm good.
I place my hand on her face and walk out of the room. I hated leaving her without actually saying those three words. I hope she understood. For the only thing I can think of at this moment as I'm walking to a phone is me saying I hated her.
After the rush of it all starts to end, we are standing outside by the Ambulances. She still looks so shaken. I wish I knew what she was thinking at the moment.
Arizona: I'm going to go see if kids need help finding there parents.
I don't know what I was thinking at the time I just knew I was saying exactly what I was feeling. She starts to turn away.
Callie: People died, people are dead. (As I say this she turns to face me.) I don't want to have kids if it means I can't be with you. (She starts to walk towards me.)
Arizona: No, No, We'll have kids. We'll have all kinds of kids. I always thought I wasn't cut out to be a mom, but you will be a great mom. You will be an amazing mom. And I love you so much. And I can't live without you and our 10 kids.
I place my hands on her face and just kissed her. Feeling her up against my body was worth everything thing I went through today. All the pain, fear, and hate. That one kiss is worth all the pain this world has to bring. That one moment of perfection. That one second where her lips were on mine.
Going home that night was the hardest thing ever. I didn't want to go home. I knew the apartment would be completely empty. I knew Christina would be in the hospital with Owen. I knew Lexi would be with Alex, and I knew Mark would be in the hospital to be with the women he loved, and his best friend. I didn't want to sit in an apartment all by myself thinking how I almost lost everyone I loved today. To feel that pain again as real as the day we lost George. All I wanted to do was hold her. Talk about us and our now future. To look into those beautiful blue eyes, and get lost. To forget about the world the way I can when she is around. She stayed at the hospital; she stayed to help her kids. She stayed to talk to them and the parents and to be with them when they talked to the counselors. I absolutely love her for that, but for tonight I wish she could see that I need her more than them. They have their parents, their friends. My friends are all layed up in the hospital. I couldn't stay there though. I just couldn't. I take a sigh as I put the key in the door, and just as I open it. My eyes are in shock, for there sitting on my couch is the most beautiful blonde I have ever seen. Arizona, but I thought, and how did you? I never did give you my key back, she says as the tears start to poor.
I put my keys down on the shelf by the door, and rush over to the couch. I sit down by her and just started to hold her. Rocking back and forth as she cried, and I just kept whispering I love you, I love you. After a few minutes I started to cry as well, and it felt as if she was the one holding me, as she started to say I love you, I love you. As I started to calm down I could feel she was doing the same. I look up to those sad blue eyes and kissed her gently on the lips. As I lean back on the couch she rest her head on my shoulder.
Arizona: I am so sorry.
Callie: Sorry? What in the world do you have to be sorry for? We were both equal today, both said things we didn't really mean, true they had some truth behind them, and we will get to that but not tonight.
Arizona: No, no I'm sorry for not being the one to stand up and do something when that man approached us. I just broke down, didn't know what to do. My first instincts were to protect the girl, and I did that by cowering down, how does that work?
Callie: What you did was amazing. That's one of the thousands of things I love about you. Your instincts is what you know, and all I knew at the moment is I didn't want that man anywhere near you, so I stepped in between y'all not knowing what I was doing, but just going off my feelings. And then when he left all I wanted to do was tell you I love you and kiss you, so I tried to tell you, tried to calm you, but I knew I needed to help her first. We did great today, for me and you we are amazing remember.
I start to see a glimpse of that smile I love so much. The smile that makes the pain just melt away.
Arizona: Yeah I remember, never did forget.
Callie: I want you to know you can trust me. Trust my feelings for you. I never took into consideration that you were scared to have that kind of future with me, because not for one moment since I've known you was I scared to let you completely in. I'm sorry.
Arizona: I thought we weren't going to talk about this tonight.
Callie: I know, but let me just say this. I love your smile; there is nothing in this world better than that smile, well maybe your kisses. Than those blue eyes. I love those eyes, they look into mine and I just melt. I love how you know when to hold me, and when to just let me be. I love that you make me laugh. I love how you were never afraid to be there for me. I love how you cry, when you're in an argument, it shows how much respect you have and how much you care for others. I love how you love all your kids; you just don't help them you fall in love with every single one, but most of all I love how you love me. I can't say this enough no one can or could ever compare to you. You are my everything, my one. I'd face down the whole world just for the touch of your hand.
As I say all this she is just looking into my eyes with a simple smile and a few tears rolling down those soft cheeks. She leans in and those beautiful lips touch my check and chill runs through my body. I just want her, need her.
I put my hand on her lower back and start to guide her towards me. While the other hand moves her hair out of her face, I slowly kiss her lips. She starts to guide her hand down my arm and the other one on my lower back. The kiss starts to get intense. We break for a second as she breathes I love you so much. You amaze me. And then I started to lose control.