Fair

by somerdaye

Sometimes I wonder if the word fair should even be in the dictionary. Leah Clearwater reflects on all that's made her strong. And wishes she doesn't have to be.

disclaimer; No, I don't own Twilight, or Perfectly (I Wanna Be) by Huckapoo.

summary; Sometimes I wonder if the word fair should even be in the dictionary. Leah Clearwater reflects on all that's made her strong. And wishes she doesn't have to be.

pairing(s); Mention of Jacob/Renesmee, one-sided Jacob/Leah and Sam/Leah.

a/n; As soon as I heard the song quoted below, I just knew I had to write a Leah centric fic.! :D I hope you enjoy it!

Fair

I wanna be perfect,
But I'm me
I wanna be flawless,
But you see
Every little crack
Every chip,
Every dent
Every little mistake,
I wanna be perfect
Just like you,
But there's only so much that a girl can do
When I look in the mirror,
It makes sense to me,
Perfectly.

xx

Sometimes I wonder if the word fair should even be in the dictionary.

For the rest of them, it wasn't easy. It was far from easy.

But for me, it was the absolute worst of all. For multiple reasons.

I had to give up my life, my friends, everything, to do my 'job' properly.

I had to see the man who broke my heart, every day, and even hear what he was thinking.

I had to deal with the fact that I'd never be able to have children, I'd be alone forever.

Since I don't age and all.

And my dad - oh, God, Dad - had a freaking heart attack, simply because of my transformation! Seth was expected.

Me? Not so much.

And God, after joining Jacob's pack, and telling him those things, I really started to like him, and was even considering telling him my feelings.

But then, along came Renesmee and Jacob was head-over-paws in love.

That was a blow.

And you know what it is?

I was so used to being well-liked, friendly, always ready with a smile and a joke. For years, that was me. I was the pre-werewolf (female) Jacob Black.

But, like he eventually did, I got my heart snapped in two by someone I thought I loved, and I never looked at the world the same way.

And Bella.

God, I can't even think her name without rolling my eyes.

Everybody loved her, of course.

And I heard what they thought of me.

Bitter. Hag. Bitch. Still hung up on Sam. Why doesn't she just get over it already?

I suppose they can't understand.

But even now - now, with Renesmee all grown up, and Bella's eyes no longer red - I haven't imprinted. Seth already has, of course. But not me. I'm beginning to think it's a guy thing.

So here I am, just sitting here, on the cliff, staring at the stars.

A tear rolls down my cheek, and a million thoughts are jumbled in my head. Only one stands out, clear as day.

This isn't fair.

xx

I try to fit
In the mold
That you make
But I'm tired of playing
This little charade.

words; 349 (not including lyrics)

a/n; I hope it wasn't too terrible! xD First try at writing Twilight fanfiction. :D