Disclaimer: I, in no way, shape or form even claim to own anything pertaining to Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse. The only thing that belongs to me is Chase.

A/N: This is my first try at a Twilight fic - I wrote it months ago(sometime this spring, I think...), but because I was so lazy with editing it, I didn't even come close to getting around to it. As my beta pointed out, it's very sad, but that's not to be helped considering the story line. I should probably mention that it's in Edward's POV, too...anyways,enjoy!

"Goodbye, Bella," I said, again using a tone that I hoped wouldn't reveal my lie.

"Wait!" she said, reaching out to me. I grasped her wrists and pushed them back to her sides, then I kissed her lightly and briefly on the forehead.

"Take care of yourself," I whispered, then, I ran. I ran as I'd never run before, knowing that if I stopped now, I wouldn't be able to go on again. The only time I stopped was at Bella's house, to do as I'd promised.

I paused briefly to leave a note for Charlie; he would be worried if she wasn't back before nightfall. It only took a moment to imitate Bella's handwriting. Once that was done, I moved upstairs.

Slipping into her bedroom, I removed the CD that Alice and I had given her out of the CD player, and knelt by her photo album. I turned to the first page, and began slipping the pictures out. The one of me in her kitchen on her birthday; the one of Charlie and me watching the game; the one of the two of us that Charlie had taken.

I reached over to the envelope that contained her other pictures, and removed the doubles of the photos I had already removed from her photo album. Then I placed it back exactly where it had been. Next I searched for the plane tickets. I found them after a moment, half-buried under a small pile of papers.

I would have taken all of that with me, had it not been for the stab in my heart. I knelt again, and began to carefully pry one of the floorboards loose. I placed them in there, comforted slightly that, even if she didn't know about it, it was like I was always close to her.

All that was left was the car stereo that Emmet, Rosalie, and Jasper had given her. I removed that as carefully as I could, but I still made a mess of it. With that, I left, running back to my old home. I placed the stereo where Bella wouldn't find it if she decided to visit the house to see if we had truly left.

Shortly after, I left Forks.

A tap on my shoulder snapped me out of my reverie. It was Alice, with a grim look on her face.

"It's been eight years to the day, Edward," she said, her tone as grim as her face.

I tried to play innocent, "Eight years since what, Alice?" She scowled at me.

"Eight years since you left Forks, stupid." Alice clearly wasn't happy with me for playing innocent, but then, she hadn't been at all happy with me for what I'd done to Bella. I sighed.

"I know, Alice," I said, utterly dejected now.

"Maybe it's time you went back for a visit," she suggested. I shrugged. "I'll go with you, if you'd like me to, Edward," she said softly.

I thought for a moment, then nodded. We were out the door and heading to Forks after a brief talk with Carlisle and Esme; and we were in Forks by morning.

When we got to Forks, one of the first things we did was locate a phone book so that Alice could call Charlie to see if Bella still lived there.

We doubted it, but there were no listings for Bella that we could find. Alice pulled out her cell phone and dialed Charlie's number. I listened intently as she spoke to him when he answered.

"Hello, Charlie. This is Alice Cullen."

From the look on Alice's face, it looked as if Charlie was glad to hear from her.

"Yes, I'm fine," she said with a smile. "I was wondering if Bella was around," she said, then she frowned.

Hmm…Bella doesn't live there anymore..odd. Edward, stay out of my head.

"Oh, she did? Okay, well, could I have her address? I was thinking of stopping by for a visit." Alice motioned for me to give her a piece of paper and something to write with. I handed them to her and she wrote the address down, grimacing when she wrote the words 'La Push'.

"Yes, Charlie, I'll stop by," she said, smiling slightly again. "Alright, thanks, bye." Alice flipped her phone shut. "Bella lives in La Push now. And I've agreed to stop by Charlie's and have dinner with him."

I shook my head, so much for having Alice for backup.

I dropped Alice off at Charlie's to make it more believable, instead of having her show up without a car.

I raised my hand in silent greeting when Charlie looked in my direction as I started backing out of the driveway again.

He didn't look too happy to see me; his thoughts confirmed that.

What is that creep doing here?

Judging from what Alice was thinking, he had said that aloud, too. Her excuse was that I was just driving her there since I was on my way somewhere else. That was true, I wasn't going to be in Forks for much longer, I was headed to La Push next.

The drive to La Push was a pleasant one, aside from the mounting suspense, and the knowledge that I was going very close to breaking the treaty.

I groaned as I passed the Black's house. Billy Black had never liked me, or my family; he firmly believed that vampires, even civilized ones like us, were a nuisance. And Jacob, well, when Victoria had been here seven years ago, and I had assisted in her capture, I had discovered that Jacob, as well as a few other boys from the reservation, was a werewolf.

Werewolves are the sworn enemy of vampires, and I wasn't particularly happy to find out that Bella, who I had instructed to be careful, was hanging around with young, volatile werewolves.

But it's not like I had a say in it. I had refused to go near her, for two reasons. The first being myself. If I had seen her, I wouldn't have been able to tear myself away a third time. Then there was Bella; if she'd even seen me, it probably would have broken her heart once more for her to see me leave again.

Not to mention, Jacob would have most likely tried to tear me to shreds if I hurt her like that again. I gathered that much from his thoughts of tearing more than just Victoria into tiny bits.

Finally, I came to the address that Alice had written down for me. I walked slowly, even for me. I took a deep breath before stepping up to the door and knocking.

It was several moments before the door opened. Bella stood there, as beautiful as ever, with a slight half-smile on her face. The smile faded when she saw me.

"Hello, Edward." She used a frosty tone that I had never heard from her before, and her eyes, usually so warm, were hard.

"Hello, Bella," I said, my tone soft. She obviously hadn't forgiven me for leaving her eight years ago.

"What do you want, Edward?" she asked, still using that same cold tone.

That made me wince. "I…I came to visit you, Bella, and to apologize. I'm sorry I hurt you so much when I left. I thought I was doing what was best for both of us…" From the look on her face, I could tell she still hadn't forgiven me, and was still rather upset with me.

"May I come in, Bella?" I asked hesitantly.

Her face softened, "No, Edward, I don't think that's a good idea," she said after a moment.

As soon as she said that, a little boy, with russet skin, ebony hair, and black eyes slammed into her left leg. That was when I noticed the modest gold ring with a single diamond on her left hand. She must have noticed my eyes flicker to her ring, because her eyes were full of pity when I met them again.

"I'm sorry, too, Edward," Bella said softly, "My feelings for you never changed. But, after a while, I realized that you weren't going to come back. So, I moved on, as you wished me to. I never stopped loving you, Edward. I doubt I ever will, but I'm married now, to Jacob," Bella said, watching me sadly.

I sighed, and managed a pained smile. On the outside, I managed a credible front, but inside, my heart was shattered.

I took another deep breath, and looked her in the eyes again, "Well then, I won't disturb your life any further. I'm sorry if I caused you any trouble today, Bella. Goodbye," I said as I turned to go.

"Wait, Edward," Bella said, "Maybe you could stay for a little while…and we could talk," she suggested cautiously.

I hesitated, but turned around, making myself composed instantly. "I don't see why not. Except that, if Jacob comes back, then you'll probably have a serious vampire-werewolf fight on your hands, and that might be- that would undoubtedly be dangerous for your son," I said quietly, moving my gaze to the child still clinging to her leg.

Bella also hesitated, torn between talking with me, and protecting her son. She bit her lip, "It's about time for Chase's nap, and Jake's not going to be back for a couple of hours…" I gave a quick nod, I might as well, as long as the werewolf didn't show up…but then…it would just be harder to leave...but I did owe Bella that much.

"Alright, I'll stay. For one hour, and only one. Jacob will be able to tell that I was here, and I don't want you getting in trouble because of me." I told her, "I'll wait here."

Bella smiled, and picked up Chase, closing the door behind her. I still felt no better than I had a few moments ago.

I waited for about ten minutes before she returned, still smiling.

I leaned against my Volvo, the same one I had driven before I had left Forks eight years ago. We talked for only fifteen minutes or so before I heard a faint growling in the trees across from Bella and me.

After a moment, Jacob Black emerged, followed by the other werewolves of his pack. The only change in his appearance in the last seven years was that his hair was shorter now, cropped in an almost military style, but a bit longer.

"What are you doing here, you filthy bloodsucker?" Jacob asked scornfully. I didn't so much as flinch as he stepped closer. I replied as calmly as I could, even despite the tremendous urge to throw myself at him.

"I was visiting Bella. Is that a crime?" I asked, meeting his eyes. He was taller than I, and was just as threatening.

"It could be," he said gruffly. Bella was almost scowling at him, now.

"Jake, please, stop," she said, "Edward just came to apologize to me. He was just leaving." Jacob's watchful eyes hadn't left me.

"Was he now? Then he had better go," he said in the same harsh tone. I nodded. "Fine. I'm going to go rid myself of the scent of this filthy bloodsucker. We will be back in a few moments," he paused, indicating the rest of his pack. "If he's not gone, we'll make sure that we send Dr. Cullen a sympathy card." he snarled, then they disappeared into the brush again.

I took another deep breath, calming myself once more, then I sighed. I turned to Bella with the best smile I could muster, which wasn't saying much. I knew the smile was half-hearted and pained.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I said, meeting her eyes, "I'll be going now. I'm sorry that I disturbed you. Tell Jacob that he shouldn't worry about seeing me again; I won't be coming back," I continued, opening the car door. "And I'm sorry that I wasn't here when you needed me…and…I hope that you know that I still love you. I always will. Forever."

As I slid into the driver's seat, I said the parting words of our last meeting. "Goodbye, Bella," I said softly. "Take care of yourself."

I heard the faintest whisper before I closed the door, "Goodbye, Edward," Bella whispered. I smiled faintly.

Driving away was hard. I probably would have cried if I had been able to. In leaving eight years ago, I'd lost Bella for good; maybe if I'd stayed things would have been different.

All I could think about was that it was my fault I'd lost her. Before I was even back in Forks I was more depressed then I had been when I hadn't been able to get Bella out of my mind.

I stopped in front of Charlie's to wait for Alice. As I stared out into the night, I realized something. I had said that I couldn't live in a world where Bella didn't exist, but now I realized that I couldn't live without loving Bella, and I had given her up forever…

It seemed like I was destined to spend eternity alone…I'd live ninety years alone before I had met Bella. I hadn't realized how lonely I was before that. Now I was lonely again, but by my own fault this time.

Before Bella, I could see the stars, the reason in life. Bella was like a supernova for me, and when she disappeared I couldn't see the points of reason anymore.

Now I had lost her for good. The pain wasn't like it would have been if Bella had died after I left. It didn't seem so harsh that I couldn't go on living. I had to, anyway. I owed Carlisle that much, after all.

By the time Alice rejoined me, I barely noticed anything, I was so drowned by my sorrow.

I didn't even remember driving back to Denali. When we got back to the house, I heard Carlisle ask how the trip had been.

I didn't care; I just went up to my room. I heard Alice answer in the distance as I closed the door. I sank onto the couch in the corner. I just gave in and let the pain engulf me.

I did not resurface for a long time.

I would give anything to turn back time, to go back to Forks. I reached my breaking point after I went back.

A broken vampire is what I have become, and that's what I'll stay until my unrelenting journey in life ends…

A/N: So, do you like it? Please, tell me what you think! I'd like to know it I'm any good at writing in this section. Review, please!