With apologies to the movie "It's a Wonderful Life," here's how I thought it might play out if the Get Smart characters were cast in the movie roles.
It's a Smart Life
It was two days before Christmas, 1974. Huge fluffy white flakes were coming down on Washington DC. The snow was just barely starting to stick to the sidewalks. The crisp air felt cold and biting on Maxwell Smart's face. It was expected to be an unusually cold night for Washington. He pulled his trench coat collar around his face and put his hands in his pockets.
Suddenly his feet flew out from under him as he walked over a patch of ice on the sidewalk. He slid a few feet and landed, sitting up, on a patch of grass, near a tree next to the street. He looked up and was face to face with a street person sitting at the base of the tree. The man had no overcoat or hat and his clothes were patched and torn.
Max stood up and put his hand in his pocket. He pulled out some paper money and handed it to the man. "Here, fella, take this and get something to eat. And, take my coat too, I won't be needing it." He took off his coat and handed it to the man.
"Thanks, Mister," said the man, putting on Max's coat. "…Hey, Mister, you don't look so good…are you okay?"
Max smiled weakly. "I'm never going to be better, fella."
Max walked on. Now he was really cold wearing only his suitcoat against the wind, but he didn't care. It would be over soon anyway. He sat down on a snowy bench. The snow melted where he was sitting, soaking through his pants and made his thighs wet and very cold. The wind picked up. Max leaned over, his head in his hands and closed his eyes. He didn't care any more about anything…
"I wish I'd never been born," he whispered softly to himself.
*****************************************************************
One month before, Maxwell Smart, Agent 86 had walked into Control with his lovely wife, Agent 99. He greeted Larrabee in the outer office and then entered the Chief's office.
The Chief looked more upset than Max had ever seen him. "You wanted to see us, Chief?"
"Yes, Max and 99, I have some sobering news for you, but I need to tell everyone else too. I've told them all to meet us in the theatre assembly room. Max and 99 followed the Chief into the large room and stood with him on the stage. There were at least 150 agents assembled in the room. The Chief took the podium.
"Control Agents, I know that you're not all here…we have some other agents in many other cities and many other parts of the world. They already have received the information that I am going to give you now…. The President is dissolving Control. Because of the recession, he no longer wants to fund our Agency. He doesn't feel that KAOS is a threat anymore. I disagreed with him vehemently, but the President's word stands, unless we can prove to him that we are a necessary organization."
"Agents, we are all out of jobs in one month if we don't find some way to prove that. In the mean time, I will put all our resources available to any of you who prefer to look for other jobs. We are going to have one more payroll, in the middle of December. It will include your regular pay and some extra to help you out until you can get other work or unemployment comp. I am sorry that it won't be a prosperous holiday for most of you."
"I am appointing Agents 86 and 99 to do some special work on this. If you have any questions, or suggestions, please see them." 86 and 99 looked at each other. 99 seemed surprised, but 86 was pleased and put his thumbs in his vest pockets and smiled.
86 and 99 followed the Chief back to his office. Max sat on the edge of the Chief's desk. "So how are we going to change the President's mind," said Max. He seemed rather unconcerned.
"Max, you don't seem to understand! We are all out of jobs! I doubt that there is anything we can do to stop Control from being dissolved. Do you know what that means? KAOS will be free to perpetrate their evil anywhere without us to stop them."
"So what's the plan?" asked Max. "Better bring down the Cone of Silence."
"Max, it's been removed, along with a lot of other Control gadgets. We can't afford them anymore."
Max made a face. He squinted his eyes. "Then how are you going to tell us anything top secret?"
"Well, I thought of that. I've asked Larrabee to rig up something." He pressed a button on his desk. Nothing happened. "I forgot, the electricity to my desk has been turned off. Max, tell Larrabee to bring his idea in here."
Max went to the Chief's door that was now closed. Expecting it to open automatically, he walked into it and bumped his nose. He pushed it into its pocket in the wall and asked Larrabee to bring his invention inside.
First Larrabee brought in a wide wooden table with rather tall legs. There was a large square hole in the middle of its top. Then he brought in a very large empty fish aquarium. He set it on top of the table, upside down. There were colorful fish painted on all sides of the aquarium.
The Chief looked skeptical. "How does it work, Larrabee?"
"This is the three-person edition. You all sit under it, Chief, and put your heads into the aquarium. No one can hear you then. And if you need extra security…" he went back to his desk and retrieved a large canvas. "You can put this over the fish tank."
"We probably won't need that, Larrabee. Thanks, and please close the door."
The Chief, 86 and 99 got down on the floor under the fish aquarium. They started to talk. It was cramped and Max kept elbowing 99 and the Chief trying to find a comfortable position.
"Max, will you sit still?"
"My foot is falling asleep," Max complained.
"Max, I am giving you the job of getting the payroll safely over to Control."
"Why is that so hard, Chief?" said 99. "Anyone can drive an armored car…"
"The armored car is going to be the decoy, 99. Max will have the real money. KAOS agents know Control is going to be closed; we don't want them to find out the details. And we don't want them stealing the last money our agents may have for a while. Max, I hope you understand the importance of this…this is the last payroll our agents will have until they either get new jobs or Control is reinstated, which, I don't believe is going to happen."
"That's the last thing you will have to do, Max, but in the mean time, I want you and 99 to get set up in your office…agents will be coming to you for help…all of Control's resources are available, Max."
"That's a big order, Chief."
"You're up to it, Max."
*****************************************************************
One week later, Max and 99 gathered the Control agents' job applications to be matched up with openings in the community. 99 noticed that many of the agents who didn't have other skills on the side looked pretty desperate. There were not a lot of jobs in the community. 99 was afraid that some of the agents would be so desperate they would go to work for KAOS. And KAOS always did pay better than Control.
99 had extensive notes and information that she had assembled. She and Max put all the paperwork and applications into a brief case and headed for their apartment.
At the apartment, 99 took off her coat and put it in the closet with Max's. She smiled at her mother who was babysitting for their 6 year old twins, Shawn and Sarah. "Were they good, Mom?"
"Mostly, honey. At least outside of throwing that baseball around inside the apartment. I was afraid Shawn was going to break something."
"Shawn, didn't I tell you not to do that?"
"It was Sarah!"
"No, it wasn't me!" Sarah stuck out her tongue at her brother.
"Quiet, everybody!" said Max, holding up his hands. "Your mother and I are going to need quiet time to take care of some work we brought home…" he looked directly at Sarah and Shawn. He picked up Sarah with his left arm and grabbed Shawn with his right. He got a little off balance and fell backwards to the sofa with the children. They started to laugh and he tickled them. "Now go on upstairs with your grandma and play for a while, okay?"
Max thought it a good idea to save some money by building a roaring fire in the fireplace and he started it right away. He turned down the apartment's heat once the fire was large enough.
"Pretty romantic, isn't it, sweetheart?" he said to 99. "Come here." He was sitting on the couch. 99 came over and they kissed.
Then 99 said, "Love, there will be plenty of time for that later. Let's get started on this." She ran upstairs to get something from her purse.
"All right," said Max. "Where's the briefcase?" It was sitting on the end of the sofa next to the fireplace. He picked up the briefcase, but didn't realize it was open. All the papers flew out into the fireplace and started to burn. Max got down on his knees and tried to pull some of them out. He rescued a few pieces of paper.
99 came in the room at that moment. "Max! What's going on?"
Max got up and faced her. He stood in front of the fireplace with his arms outstretched on the mantle. "Eh, nothing…"
"Max! Your pants are on fire!" The cuff of Max's pants had gotten too close to the fireplace. He lay down on the rug and rolled his leg around to put out the flame.
"Max! Are you all right?" said 99. He nodded and got up.
"Max, what is that mess in the fireplace?" asked 99. She saw the empty briefcase and put two and two together. "Max, what did you do," she said, a pained look on her face.
"Sorry about that, 99, it….just….happened…."
"Just like everything else just happens, Max." 99 bit her lip. She looked about to cry. "What are we going to tell those people?"
"We could start all over tomorrow…"
"Max, some of those agents are still on cases. They won't be able to come back…"
Max sat down at the desk, looking unhappy.
F3, the little feline Control agent who lived with the Smarts, padded down the stairs soundlessly. A blue-point Siamese cat, F3 had been bred to understand human speech and wore special implants in her ears. She could be understood by the Smarts when they used a special ear device that replaced the original cuff links and earrings. She had accompanied Max and 99 on many missions and she entertained the children when she wasn't working.
F3 jumped on Max's lap and stood up to lick his face. He rubbed her head and scratched her ears. "You're going to be out of a job soon, too, F3."
F3 nodded and mewed, "I know. But you'll think of something, Max. We're all counting on you."
*****************************************************************
The day came to pick up the final payroll for the agents. The plan was to have Max pick up the real payroll after the armored car left the bank. 99 accompanied him to the bank. They had the top up on the Sunbeam Tiger because the wind was brisk and sharp, even though the sun was shining.
The two agents parked in the back of the bank, near the door Max was told to use. "Wait for me, 99." She nodded and got into the driver's side to wait.
Max went into the bank, got in the elevator and went to the room where he would receive the money. It was waiting. They chained the large heavy locked bag to his left wrist. The only other one who had the key was the Chief. Max was to go straight to Control once he had the money.
Max pressed the call button for the elevator. He turned around when someone came to wait with him. He looked up. It was a very beautiful, very tall blonde woman. She smiled down at him. She sure is tall! He had the feeling that he wanted to kiss her. Hmmm, he might need a step stool…he stared at his wedding ring to get rid of the thought.
The elevator came and he glanced at the tall woman again. He stepped forward, distracted and not looking where he was going. The elevator had stopped out-of-level, a lot! There was at least two feet of space between the regular floor and the elevator's floor. Max fell forward into the elevator shaft. The payroll bag was hanging down into the shaft, Max holding on with his hands at the edge. He felt someone grab his legs. Just then the elevator car began to move. It pushed past Max's hands, but broke the chain and Max heard the payroll bag crash to the bottom of the elevator shaft.
Once the bag was released from his wrist, Max could get up. He turned and saw the tall blonde. "Did you grab my legs to keep me from falling in the elevator shaft?"
She nodded.
"Thanks, I appreciate it! Do you know how I can get my bag back?"
"Sure," she replied. "I work here. Maintenance can get it for you. Here, follow me." They went down to the basement.
The blonde waited while the maintenance man went into the locked room at the bottom of the shaft and retrieved the bag. He put it on a table. Max was about to pick up the bag when the blonde unexpectedly grabbed him, lifted him onto the table and gave him a huge kiss. He put his arms around her and reciprocated, then realized what he was doing and tried to push her away.
The blonde said, "Oh, you're so cute and handsome!" She kissed him again and held him tightly. Unfortunately, he kissed her back. At that moment, 99 came in the door.
"Max, are you ready to go…," she saw the blonde and said, "Max!! What's going on here?"
"Eh, nothing, 99," said Max. He knew he was in trouble. The tall blonde let him go and started to leave. At the door she turned and waved and winked at Max in full view of 99.
"Max," said 99, "what are you doing?" He was still sitting on the table next to the bag of money.
"Just picking up the money, sweetheart."
"Who was that blonde?"
"I don't know, 99. She works here…She helped me retrieve the bag. I got stuck in the elevator shaft and the bag fell down there…"
99 took a look at the bag with the broken chain. The lock was also broken and the bag was empty. "Max, look at this, it's empty!"
"Eh, it couldn't be…"
"I never thought you would do that," said 99. She was crying and angry. She slapped him hard on the face and stalked out of the bank. He heard her start the Tiger and roar away. He got to the door in time to see the car flying up the street. He sighed and started to walk back to Control.
He arrived at Control about an hour later. He went to the Chief's office. The Chief looked upset, but puzzled. "Max, what happened to that payroll?"
"I don't know, Chief! Really, I don't."
99 was in here screaming hysterically about you cheating on her and stealing the money…she said she is going to take the twins and F3 and go live with her mother. Can you enlighten me, Max? Just start from the beginning."
Max told the Chief everything that happened. The Chief believed him. It sounded like one of Max's typical bungled messes. But this time it affected every Control agent. Hopefully 99 was just over-reacting. She certainly couldn't believe Max would steal the money, even if he did kiss that strange blonde woman.
The Chief wondered that the woman was there just at the right time – and the elevator broken at just the right time too….
"Max, go home. I've been putting too much responsibility on your shoulders lately. Just go home and get some rest."
"What if 99 and the kids aren't there, Chief?" Max looked really upset.
"I don't know, Max. I'll call you if I hear from her."
*****************************************************************
No one was in the apartment when Max arrived. 99, her mother, F3 and the kids were gone. The Sunbeam Tiger was missing, too. 99 must be driving it to her mother's place. Max poured himself a drink. It made him feel warmer inside, but didn't knock out the empty feeling that was becoming more pervasive with every minute.
He called the Chief. "Did you hear anything from 99 yet?"
"No, I'm sorry, Max. Do you want to come over to my place and have dinner with my wife and me?"
"No, I'm not hungry, Chief. Thanks, anyway."
He decided to take a walk. He couldn't sit still. It was getting dark and cold….
*****************************************************************
Max's thoughts came back to the present moment. He was still outside sitting on the bench with the snow starting to pile up a bit, especially on the grass. He was so cold now he could barely move. He thought that maybe if he lay down on the grass, he could just go to sleep. He got off the bench stiffly. He lay down on the snowy grass.
He closed his eyes. He began to feel warmer. That's the beginning of the end, isn't it? He just kept his eyes closed and he got warmer and warmer. He had xpected to just drift off to sleep, but even though his eyes were closed, there seemed to be a light around him…was he dead already?
He opened his eyes and there was a brightness around him. He was warm even though it was still snowing and the wind was still blowing. He squinted into the light and saw a figure standing near him. "Who are you?" asked Max.
The figure became a little clearer. It was a short, slightly chubby man dressed in a white robe. He was partially bald on his forehead but the rest of his longish curly brown hair made up for it, combed out wildly and sticking out from his head. He had laughing brown eyes and an infectious smile. The man held his hand out to Max. "The name is Lawrence."
Max took a better look. "You look so familiar…don't tell me….don't tell me…well, you better tell me, I'm not going to get it…"
Lawrence still had his hand stuck out to shake hands with Max. Or maybe it was to help him up off the grass. Max took his hand and stood up.
"Let's sit over here on the bench," said Lawrence.
"Why are you wearing a white…eh…dress?" asked Max.
"It's not a dress," said Lawrence. "It's a robe! I'm an angel second class."
"That sounds familiar too…where have I heard that before?"
"I don't know what you're talking about, Max."
Max looked at Lawrence sharply. "How did you know my name?"
"Were you listening? I just said I was an angel."
"Oh, an angel," said Max. "Of course you're an angel. You certainly look like an angel…" It finally sank in. "An angel? Wait a minute…angels have wings…where's yours?"
"You're still not listening, Max. I said I am an angel second class. That means I am still working on getting my wings."
"Okay, am I dead or just crazy?"
"You're still alive, and I got here just in time. You would have been dead in an hour."
"Seriously?"
"Yes."
"Well, that's what I want. I don't want to stay around here any more. I'm tired of messing up everyone's lives. Nothing is going right…I wish I had never been born."
"Well, Max, I can make that happen for you," said Lawrence.
Max squinted his eyes at Lawrence again. Then he pointed his finger at him. "I know…Larry Fine…the Three Stooges….that's who you are! Tell me I'm right!"
"Yes, I get that all the time. No, I'm Lawrence, not Larry Fine. I must look a little like him."
"You look exactly like him! I love all your short subject movies…you guys were comic geniuses!"
"Like I said, I'm not Larry Fine. But I will tell him what you said when I see him," said Lawrence. "I have to tell you why I'm here."
"Okay, Larry, why are you here?"
"It's Lawrence, oh, I give up…call me Larry. I'm here because you said you never wanted to be born. You feel like things would be better for everyone that way. So I am going to let you see how it would be if you never were born. Come with me."
They walked back to Control. They walked into the building, through all the various doors and down ten stories underground through the telephone booth. They walked to the Chief's office. The door opened with a swish. Larrabee sat in the Chief's chair. He looked up. "Who are you?" He stood up and pulled out his gun.
"I'm Max…Max…Maxwell Smart…Larrabee! Here, take my gun, and put yours away." Max pulled his gun out of his holster and placed it on the desk.
"Who did you say you are? Max or Max or Maxwell Smart or Larrabee? Which is it? Wait, I think I'm Larrabee…" Larrabee sounded confused.
"I'm Max…you're Larrabee," said Max. He pointed to Larry. "This is Larry Fine of the Three Stooges."
"Where's Larry?" said Larrabee. "Are Curley and Moe here too? What about Shemp?"
"He can't see me, Max. Only you can see me," said Larry.
"Oh, thanks Larry," said Max sarcastically. "Now everyone REALLY thinks I'm crazy. Eh, maybe I am…"
"So who are you again?" asked Larrabee.
"Maxwell Smart, Agent 86. Where's Chief Thaddeus?"
"Oh, you don't know…he passed away over a year ago. Heart attack. Overworked. I heard him say so many times, if he just had a reliable top agent to help with the important cases, he wouldn't have had to put in 80 hour work weeks all the time."
"So how is Control going without him, Larrabee?"
"I don't know. I think this is a KAOS building now. I might be working for KAOS. No one ever calls me anymore, but I'm here if they want to. I do get to read a lot of books, though. I stay here all the time. I can't go home you know."
Max thought Larrabee seemed odder than he had ever had before. And the Chief…gone? Just because he, Maxwell Smart, wasn't around. Well, that didn't make any sense.
"Let's go Larry. I have a snowdrift waiting for me," said Max.
"Do you remember this?"
Max followed Larry down a corridor to another room. Max opened the door to a small closet. There was a pile of rusted parts. A few were recognizable as hands, feet. and a nose. A rusted brown eye looked up at Max.
"What's that mess, Larry? Yuck!"
"It's Hymie, the robot."
"Hymie? Why is he in pieces?"
"He felt he couldn't fit in with human society, and he was very lonely, so he blew himself apart."
"What! Why didn't Hymie call me; I'm his best friend; I've always been his best friend…"
"Max, you weren't there to be his best friend," said Larry. "What about this…do you remember this?"
They were suddenly out on the street again. Max looked down on the grass. It was the street person that Max had given his coat to earlier. But he didn't have the coat on. He was curled up at the bottom of the tree. Max touched him, then pulled his hand away quickly. He was frozen stiff.
"Larry, that doesn't make sense. I gave him money for food and my coat so he wouldn't freeze. But there he is frozen…"
"Max, you keep forgetting, you were never born. You couldn't help him. So he froze to death."
"Larry, I don't like this," said Max.
"Max, do you remember this?"
Larry and Max walked a little further. There was a familiar house at the end of the street. It was the home of his childhood friends, Mickey and Mary Ellen O'Brien. There were numerous late 1930's and early 1940's cars parked near the house. Almost everyone was dressed in black.
"What's going on, Larry?"
"It's a wake, Max."
"Whose wake, Larry?"
"Let's go in and see."
Max followed some of the mourners into the house. He looked into the casket as he passed. It was Mary Ellen O'Brien! She was nine years old…but she hadn't really died at nine years old!"
"I don't get it, Larry."
"Max, remember what happened in 1940? You and your friends went to play near the railroad tracks. Mary Ellen got her foot caught on the tracks and the train was coming fast. You got her foot out and pulled her off the track just in time."
"Then why did she die?"
"Max, you weren't there to pull her off the track. You were never born, remember? Do you know what happened to her family?"
"No…"
"Mickey felt responsible for letting her come along to play that day and he suffers from severe depression even now. Mrs. O'Brien lost interest in life and Mr. O'Brien was killed in a railroad accident…no one is sure if it was really an accident, though…"
"I can't believe it…just because I wasn't there…"
"It's true, Max," said Larry. "You want to see more?"
"No, but I suppose I don't have a choice."
Larry smiled. "You're getting the idea, Max."
They walked a bit further and Max's apartment building came into view. "Maybe I'll just go home, Larry."
"You can't, Max. We have places to go, people to see."
They passed Max's apartment building and around the corner a casino came into view. Max got a slightly sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Larry, I don't want to go there."
"You have to, Max. This is Victor Royal's casino…of course you remember the man who swept 99 off her feet when she thought you weren't interested in her. She ran off to marry him until you rescued her and showed her that Royal was a KAOS agent. But that didn't happen. You were never born. She ended up marrying Victor."
They entered the casino. Victor was nowhere to be seen, but Max spotted 99 right away, sitting alone at a table in the back. He ran over to her. "Hi, 99, I'm so glad to see you." She was dressed in a flowing pink dress with a feather boa around her neck and a matching hat with feathers. She was smoking a cigarette in a cigarette holder. She had a drink in front of her. She was wearing 5-inch stiletto heels and too much makeup. Max sat down at the table next to her.
"Who are you?" asked 99. "And what did you call me?"
Max squinted his eyes, trying to remember the false name she had given to Victor Royal. "Susan! Susan Hilton!"
"It's Mrs. Royal to you, whoever you are."
"Is he taking good care of you, Susan? 99? Is he nice to you? You know he's a KAOS agent."
"What are you talking about? I don't know you and I'll thank you to keep out of my business." Max looked at her closely. She had dark circles under her eyes and lines around her mouth. Her blue eyes had a dull look to them, not the sparkle he was used to. She looked 10 years older than when he had last seen her.
99 stood up and walked away from him. Max followed her. He touched her arm, "Wait…" She turned and looked down at him. He realized that with the stiletto heels, she was about 5 inches taller than he was.
"Who are you, little man? And take your hands off me." she said.
He tried again. "It's me, Max! Don't you remember?" He looked at her arm and saw an large purple bruise.
"Victor…did he do that?"
At that moment, two 6 year old children ran into the casino. It was Sarah and Shawn! Sarah was screaming and Shawn was hitting her hard, and in earnest, not just in fun. She was crying and ran to 99. "Mommy, he's hurting me!"
"Deal with it, Sarah. Now get out of the casino. Kids aren't supposed to be her. Shawn, you get out of here too." 99 didn't sound very motherly or as if she cared at all. 99 sat down in another chair.
Then Victor came into the casino. "Susan, who are you talking to?" Max realized Victor was referring to him. Victor ran over to her, pulled her out of the chair, grabbing her roughly by the arm.
Max tried to get in between Victor and 99. "How dare you treat her like that," said Max, gallantly.
"She's my wife; I can treat her any way I please!" He pushed Max out of the way.
Larry pulled Max aside. "Remember you don't exist. You can't do anything about this. Do you want to know what happens to 99's children? I can't say yours…you don't exist.""
"Again, I suppose I don't have a choice."
Larry and Max left the casino and went back out into the street. They walked until they came to a large imposing house. "Is this Victor's house?"
"No it's a rooming house, Max. Shawn lives here. This is 15 years in the future. The children are 21 years old now…"
They entered the house and there was a long corridor. Larry led the way to one of the doors. "This is where Shawn lives."
Max knocked and waited a moment. There was no answer. "Is he in there, Larry?"
"Go on in, Max," said Larry.
Max opened the door carefully and found a young man passed out on the floor. His black hair was very long and the top of his hair was worn in green spikes. He had on brightly colored clothes and dark glasses.
"Is this Shawn, Larry?"
Larry nodded. "He's in a rock band, Max."
"What's wrong with him?"
"Drugs, Max. He's on his way to being an addict." Max didn't want to see any more.
"I can't take any more of this, Larry. Just leave me alone."
"That's what I can't do, Max. We have one more place to go."
There was another rooming house next door. Again, Larry pointed out the door to Max. "Sarah lives here," said Larry. "Tell her you are a friend of her father's."
Max knocked. It was answered by a short, extremely thin girl with ratty looking black hair. "Who are you?" she asked.
"Can I come in?" said Max. "Is your name Sarah? Your father is Victor Royal?"
"Yes. Who are you? Do I know you?"
"My name is Max Smart, Sarah. I just want to talk to you."
"Okay, come in. What's this about?"
"I used to know your father. I knew you when you and your brother were small. Just wanted to see you…see how…"
"How I turned out?" she laughed, but it turned into a cough. She was so thin her head looked too big for her body. Her face was deathly pale. Her eyes were sunken and had dark circles under them. Her clothes looked too big for her too, but he could still see how bony her arms were. Her hands were shaking.
He took her hands in his. "Sarah, what's wrong?"
"I don't know…why are you concerned? No one else is and I don't even know you. I feel fine except I'm so…so…tired and ….cold…"
"Hon', you look terrible…" he picked up a hairbrush and gently brushed her hair. She smiled for the first time.
"You're nice and just a stranger…"
Larry walked around behind Sarah so Max could see him. "Max, she's anorexic. She'll die within a month or two. It's too late now to save her."
Max was horrified. "Can't I get you something to eat, hon'?"
"No, I can't eat anything." Max held her close to him and tears welled up in his eyes. He didn't ever want to let her go.
Larry touched him on the shoulder. "We have to go, Max," he said gently. Max slowly let Sarah go and gave her a kiss on the forehead.
"Heads up, girl," he said, pulling her chin up with his forefinger. He tried to smile. "I have to leave now; it's been, eh…good… to see you."
"Good bye, Max, and thank you," she said.
Max closed the door and leaned against the wall. He pulled out his handkerchief. He wiped his face and his eyes. "I can't take any more of that, Larry. I can't stand it…"
"All right, Max, no more flashbacks. Come with me."
They left the rooming house and suddenly Max was back on the snow covered lawn.
"So Max," said Larry, "Do you still wish you weren't born?"
"Larry, seeing those people like that didn't exactly cheer me up."
"Don't you see, Max? This is what would happen to your friends and family if you weren't around. Even casual meetings like the street person…everyone touches those they meet for good or for bad. You made such a difference in those people's lives by being there for them…Max…do you see what I'm getting at?"
Max scrunched his eyes together, thinking. "Larry, today I lost the payroll for 150 people who are soon to be out of jobs. I also made my wife angry by doing something stupid that I…didn't mean to… She's left me and taken the kids…I haven't helped anyone…"
"Should we throw you a pity party now, Max?" asked Larry.
"Get serious, Larry!"
"I am serious, Max. You're not giving your friends and family a fair chance. Let's see what they really think about you. This time, Max, they won't be able to see either of us."
Max and Larry walked up to the Smarts' apartment. They entered without opening the door. "Hey, nifty," said Max.
99 was sitting on the couch with her head on her mother's shoulder. She was crying.
"Why are they back here?" asked Max.
"Sssshhh," said Larry. "Just listen."
"Mom, I just didn't think this would happen. After the Chief called me, I realized that I had jumped to a wrong conclusion…it was just one of Max's mix-ups, he didn't mean to kiss that girl and I never really did think that he stole any money. Things just happen to Max sometimes….but now this! If only I hadn't taken off like that…starting to leave the city before I thought things out," 99 started crying again.
"Honey, I don't understand it myself. Why was Max outside without a coat anyway? Why was he lying in that snowdrift?"
"I don't know, Mom. I should never have yelled at him like that…I slapped him too!" she sobbed.
The twins came down the stairs in their pajamas. "Mommy, where's Daddy? He didn't come up to give me a good-night kiss tonight!" said Sarah.
"Mommy, what does it mean if you are "frozen stiff as a board?" asked Shawn. "Is that like a Popsicle?" 99 started to cry again.
"Shawn, it's not nice to listen in on people's phone conversations!" said 99's mother. "Honey, let me put them to bed."
"So, I am dead?" said Max. "I froze over there on the grass?"
"For now, yes," said Larry.
"If only I hadn't gotten so mad at Max and run off…" said 99 to herself.
Max went over to her and touched her hair. "99, sweetheart, I'm here, it's okay!"
"She can't hear or see you, Max," said Larry.
"Okay, Larry," said Max. "I've made my decision…I want to come back….I want to try again…I want to make everything right!"
Larry smiled. "I was hoping you'd say that; it sure took you a while."
*****************************************************************
Max opened his eyes. He was in bed, in a hospital room. He ached all over. 99 was sitting in a chair by his side, holding his hand. F3 was curled up in bed with him. She woke up when he did and put her head up to listen.
"Max! You're awake! The doctor didn't think you'd come out of it!" She gave him a gentle kiss.
"99, I'm so sorry…"
"Max, I'm the one who should be sorry…The Chief explained everything… Max, why were you out there, laying in the snow, no coat…"
"I made a bad decision, 99. I was only thinking about myself and not about…anyone else. I was planning to…end it all…" Max's voice trailed off.
"Oh Max! How could you even think about that? Everyone loves you and respects you!"
"Well, Larry helped me see that…"
99 looked puzzled. "Larry who?"
"Larry Fine…of the Three Stooges…"
"What?"
"He's an angel….Never mind, 99, I'm just babbling."
"Max, the Chief is here…"
The Chief came over to Max. "I'm glad you're awake, Max. I hope you'll be able to return to work at Control soon."
"What are you talking about Chief? Control is being dissolved!"
"Well, Max, it's like this. At first, when I told everyone about the payroll being missing, they were pretty upset. But we got together and did a little detective work. That tall blonde and the maintenance man are in cahoots over at the bank. KAOS of course. They've been caught, locked up and the payroll has been recovered."
"Max, they did it for you. All the agents were so upset about what happened to you, it made them get together to find out what happened to the payroll. Why Max, I've never seen such teamwork in all my years at Control!"
"They did that for me?" said Max.
"Yes, Max. And that's not all. All the Washington agents that are in town right now, that's about 150 of them…went over to see the President. They talked to him about how Control is really needed…KAOS has infiltrated so many places…there is no one else to stand up against them."
"Then, Max, they brought up your name. They showed him the innumerable cases you've broken and all the KAOS agents you've taken off the streets. Max, the President decided not to dissolve Control! He's going to fund Control again and it's because of you!"
"Chief, I didn't do anything…"
"Maybe not directly. But you inspired all the other agents to take action to save their jobs. Max, you're good friends with a lot of those agents and they respect you. They knew you would help them out in a pinch and they wanted to do the same for you, even if it was too late. Fortunately, it isn't too late!"
Suddenly Max heard a bell ring. "What was that?" he asked.
"What was what?" asked 99.
Unexpectedly, Larry appeared at the side of Max's bed. He was wearing wings this time. "Max, that bell signifies that an angel has gotten his wings. I just got mine, thanks to you!"
"How's that, Larry?" said Max.
"I completed my mission, getting you to want to live again and see how valuable you are to all your friends and family."
Max smiled. "So I helped you too, Larry."
"You sure did, Max!" He waved goodbye by wiggling his fingers at Max and grinning. He faded out. Max could have sworn he heard the Three Stooges' theme song playing lightly in the background.
"Who are you talking to, Max?" asked 99.
"Eh, I told you before, Larry."
"Who's Larry, Max?" asked the Chief.
"Would you believe an angel?"
"No, Max, I wouldn't buy that."
"Would you believe one of the Three Stooges?"
"Max, you said that before…it doesn't make any sense."
"Would you believe I'm delirious and crazy?"
"That is a possibility."
F3 whispered in Max's ear. "Max, I saw him too. It was definitely Larry from the Three Stooges."
Max smiled a big smile and patted F3's back and scratched her chin.
*****************************************************************
Max sat up with a start. He was on his sofa in his own apartment. There was a Christmas tree in the room and a fire crackled in the fireplace. The television was on. He switched it off.
99 came down the stairs. "Did you have a nice nap, Max? You looked so tired, I just let you sleep."
"I just had the oddest dream, 99. Is Control still in business? Is the Chief okay?"
"Of course, Max…."
"You didn't just find me in a snowdrift, did you?"
"Max, are you feeling okay? You must have dreamed it. Tell me what you dreamed."
"I'll tell you later…Is it Christmas Eve, 99?"
"Yes, Max. I decided to watch TV after I got the twins in bed. Sorry you missed It's a Wonderful Life. It's one of my favorite movies, you know."
Max looked at her strangely.
"Max, turn the TV back on, the ending is coming up." He switched the movie back on and 99 settled into the couch. He put his arm around her. When the part about the bells ringing came on, Max could have sworn he heard a bell from the Christmas tree. He looked over and a tiny bell ornament was swinging and ringing.
The movie ended and a commercial for the next day's programming came on. One of the programs was a series of Three Stooges shorts. Max leaned over closer. He could have sworn Larry waved directly at him and winked from the TV.
"Did you see that, 99? Larry winked at me!"
"Max! Now tell me about your dream."
"99, it shook me up a little…or maybe I was really listening to the TV as I was sleeping. Tell me, what was on TV before the movie?"
"Oh some comedy shorts…Three Stooges."
"I thought as much."
"99 it was one of those dreams that you can learn something from."
"What did you learn, Max?"
"That everything you do affects other people, so it's always best to be nice and caring. I could probably also say, 'No kindness is ever in vain."
"Max, are you sure you weren't watching the movie?"
"No, I'm not sure, but I remembered something else from my dream, though."
"What, Max?"
"Oh, just the reason I asked you never to wear high heels."
THE END