AN: So I decided to post this which I had started right after I posted Unpredictability. It has been on my mind since and I finally decided to post it. Let me know what you think about it. Takes place around the beginning of season 14 definitely EO

Disclaimer: I obviously do not own them

Ring. Not again, please let it be a dream.

Ring. 2:28.A.M. Groaning, Olivia moved from her comfortable position on her bed and reached over to the nightstand. Where the hell is my phone? She asked herself as she began randomly swatting her table while still lying on the bed. Aha! Found it! She thought to herself as her fingers found the edge of her phone and she eagerly grabbed it. Before she could bring the phone to her ear to answer the call it rang once more. Frustration in Olivia rising immensely, she answered the phone before looking at the incoming number and assuming it was once again her job, and also before another irritating ring could escape the phone. "Benson," she tiredly mumbled.

"Hello, this is Andrew from The Bar Downtown, and would you happen to be an Olivia." Rumbling was heard in the background along with glass shattering, "No, not Olivia, it's Liv," a very slurred voice said faintly with a hint of frustration. That voice. That vague voice triggered something in her memory. No, there's no way, but still, there was suspicion. "Yes, this is she."

"Yeah, ok whatever pal, no, don't touch that!" he shouted and not two seconds later, there was more shattering. "I have been trying to close up the bar for half an hour now and this last guy, says his name is, umm, Elliot," Olivia freezes hearing the name of the person whom she's had no contact with or even said his name for over a year. "-Or at least that's what I think he said. He can't seem to do anything but throw bottles," the man continues, "This guy's so messed up that he can't even hold his own weight so I asked who I could call for him and he gave me this number." More glass shattering was heard before more shouting.

"Okay, um, I guess I'll be there in a couple of minutes," Olivia said as she hung up. Getting ready, Olivia's mind wandered and before she knew it she was out the door. Could this really be Elliot? What the hell am I supposed to say to him? Why was he alone at a bar and why didn't he call Kathy?

Getting into her car she knew in her heart that it was Elliot without a doubt, but she wasn't sure how she felt about seeing him again. Looking back at their partnership, she would have never guessed that he would have left her, but in reality he never had an obligation to her. So in the same sense she had no right to be upset. No, she wasn't mad, just disappointed. Disappointed in Elliot for leaving her. Disappointed in herself when she believed Elliot when he said he had her back. And disappointed when she realized how empty her life was and how much harder cases had been without him. She couldn't even work with the new detectives, let alone get along with them. They didn't understand how she felt and what she was going through. No one did. Because no one could even understand them, nor their relationship, including themselves.

She knew not everything ended on good terms.

And now she will remember never to expect that it will.

And to prove it, she now has tear-stained cheeks that she is completely too deep in her inner-most thoughts to even acknowledge.

Sometimes when Amaro or even Rollins asked her a question, all she would say was, "I trusted my partner," or," My old partner came pretty close." But she knew there was no point, they would never understand, nobody would ever understand because, as she once said to him before, it was too complicated. The truth was she was, at this point, too tired to even care, numb from feeling anything, at least then she wouldn't hurt like before. She was tired of walking into the squadroom, walking over where Jenna's shooting had occurred and reliving the whole ordeal in her head that led to the end of a long term friendship. Or partnership. Or even relationship to some extent.

Turning on the block of the bar, she prepared herself to face him and once more rubbed her face and ridded it of her tears. Parking her car right in front of the bar, she sighed and hesitantly took off her seatbelt. She walked into the bar and found Elliot leaning heavily on the bar table as the bartender cleaned up the sharp pieces of glass. Elliot raised his head as he heard footsteps. His eyes were red as if he'd been crying a lot. She took another step closer and for the first time she realized those well-hidden freshly shed tears. For the first time in over a year, Olivia didn't have to question how to feel seeing him again. She felt…concerned…he didn't look at all the way he did all those years they were partners. "Liv," he managed to slur out before he lowered his head once again. "El."

"The guy's completely buzzed," the bartender said.

"How many glasses did he have," Olivia asked him.

"Let's just say several."

Before deciding to take on the task of literally carrying Elliot into to the car, she decided to try to at least payback some of the money he had probably blown off and took out her wallet.

Just as she were about to open it, the man quickly shook his head in disagreement. "Just getting him out of here will be enough," the man said with a hint of a smile, "But I'd keep my eyes on him, I heard him mumbling something about a little girl being too young to die," the man whispered to her. Olivia's small smile at the man's generosity faded into a sigh. Jenna

Approaching Elliot, she knew that she wanted answers, but right now he needed to sleep off the many shots he had, so she reached her arms to him and gestured for him to get up. Obeying her, he put his feet on the floor and attempted to walk, but he failed miserably, stumbling all over the place. He would have fallen on the floor if it wasn't for Olivia's reflexes. Wrapping one arm around him, she carefully balanced them and made her way to the door. She could feel his eyes locked on her and all of a sudden she felt his arm hand over her shoulders when he almost tripped over his foot.

When they finally got to her car, she opened the passenger door, managed to sit Elliot in the seat, and buckled his seatbelt. When she went to shut his door, she noticed he had been staring at her the entire time and he hadn't said a word to her since she got there. Getting into her own seat, she buckled herself in and turned on the car with her hand on the ignition. Suddenly, Elliot looked to her and put his hand on top of hers. "I'm sorry, Liv," he said solemnly. She looked into his eyes and found the same blue eyes that they had been months earlier. She shook her head. She wasn't going to cry right now, she couldn't. And instead he pulled back his hand and he was the one to hold back tears. This time she was the one to reach out as she put her hand on top of his that he had set inches away from hers

"Since you didn't call Kathy, I'm guessing you're not speaking, are you?" Olivia began. She was answered through a nod of his head and he looked away. For a couple of minutes they rode in an uncomfortable silence until Olivia finally spoke up. "Elliot do you know what the absolute worst feeling is in the world?" Elliot didn't answer, but instead just stared at her. Olivia removed her hand from atop Elliot's and put both on the wheel.

"To want to hate the person you care about most in the world. But also knowing at the same time that it's impossible. On top of that, having no one around you understand you." And with that statement, only a tear escaped her eye.

"You know, I could have just left you there to do something stupid, but I didn't, I couldn't, Elliot. I couldn't find myself to just leave you, even after you left me."

"Liv, I…," Elliot started, but was stopped by Olivia.

"Please, don't. Listen, Elliot, I don't think we should talk about this right now. Let's at least wait until tomorrow when you're sober, and actually have the capability to remember the conversation and what you say." Olivia wasn't trying to be cold, she wasn't even sure what she was doing anymore. Was she seriously opening her home up to her ex- partner who she hasn't seen in months?

From Hendricks to Huang, from Cragen to the various ADA's, to even their own co-workers and IAB. They only response any one of them could come up with was that they were too close. 'Too close was right,' Olivia thought as she swiped her face, finally making note of the silent tears rolling down her face,' Never will that happen again.'

She looked back at Elliot. He didn't look much different or better than she was feeling, which was something that they still shared in common. He was staring intently out the window and he looked like he hadn't slept in multiple days. He was strangely quiet, considering he used to always argue with her, even when she got real annoyed. Suddenly, Olivia felt a wave of sorrow go over her, as if she was the one that had left him. For the past months she'd been wanting to see him and here she was shouting at him. Wait a second…What was she thinking?! He left her, How could you leave someone that you've known a quarter of your life without a goodbye! Then again, just because she valued their friendship, did that mean he did?

Olivia sighed how could she know what she was doing when she did not even know what she was feeling. Finally, she got to her street, parked, and took off her seatbelt. Knowing that Elliot was nowhere in the correct condition to do anything right, she went to his side. When she opened the car door, she found that Elliot was already beginning to pass out with all the alcohol he had consumed. She unbuckled his seatbelt, and helped him up the stairs to her apartment.

She led him to her spare room, realizing for the first time that Elliot had not once made eye contact with her as he stared at the floor. "Okay, well we'll talk about things in the morning, so we should probably get some sleep. And you should call Kathy and attempt to fix things." And with that she left him and went to her room to get a couple of hours of sleep, even though she knew her mind would not stop rushing to Elliot. He sure looked like he'd been through a lot over the past year, but then again so had she.

Olivia rests in her bed staring up at the ceiling thinking about how her conversation with Elliot would turn out in the morning. She looked over at her clock. It read 3:13 in the morning. Olivia sighed. Cragen would expect her bright and early since they were still trying to find a breakthrough in their current case. Olivia sighed. She had less than four hours to get as much sleep as possible and then it was back to work. And then there was Elliot. She still couldn't even bring herself to believe the fact that he had returned to her life for who knows how long after what had happened. But in reality she had no idea what even happened. All she remembered is attempting deeply to console and comfort her partner after he had fatally shot and Jenna Fox. No matter what she said to him she knew that things would never be the same. He had shot and led to the eventual death of a teenage girl who was no older than his youngest daughter and there was nothing he could do to take it back. He ended up spending the night at the precinct because he didn't feel like talking at all, especially to Kathy. And Olivia, knowing that she was not going to leave her partner like that, spent the night in the bed right beside his, constantly reaching for him, not wanting him to feel like he was alone. When he had finally fallen asleep that night, Olivia watched as he struggled and turned in his sleep. It was only a couple of seconds later that she was at the edge of his bed, awaking him and holding him as he silently sobbed on her shoulder. Neither could let go and eventually they laid down on the cot and fell asleep in their embrace, not even willing to swipe at the tear streams down both of their faces. And then the next morning he went home, or at least he claimed he would, and she never saw him again. He was gone. She shouldn't have let him go, but now he's gone. Was gone.

Gone. That was Olivia's last thought as she fell asleep. The next time Olivia awoke was at 5:43, or at least that's the time she could make out. She was so tired that she couldn't even see. Olivia was woken up by an unfamiliar noise. She stood still as she tried to hear it again. Once she heard the noise again, she shot out of her bed, immediately recognizing it from about a year ago. It frightened her and reminded her of that dreadful night. She ran into her guest room to find exactly what she had suspected: Elliot tossing and turning in the bed. Olivia quickly turned on the light switch, quietly walked over to him and gently shook him. At that very moment, Liv was back to the day it had first happened, she had ignored the fact that he left her.

"Elliot, it's okay, you're okay," Olivia whispered rubbing her hand soothingly down Elliot's arm. Elliot let out a very faint sniffle and opened his eyes suddenly. "You're okay," Olivia said trying to calm him down, after she noticed the tears on their way down his cheeks. Liv let herself sit at the edge of the bed and grabbed his hand, lacing her hand with his. And that's when the tears started to fall. Olivia, desperately trying to comfort him, pulled him into her arms, which he willingly and gratefully accepted. She held on tighter when he started to shake in sobs. "It wasn't your fault, El, it wasn't," Olivia repeated softly into his ear, "There was nothing you could have done."

"I'm sorry… I'm so… so sorry, Liv," Elliot managed to get out between sobs, "I didn't mean to… to… kill her." Elliot had almost been physically unable to get the last part out. Even Olivia at this point was losing the battle of trying to keep her tears at bay.

"Shh, no, El, it's okay, it was not your fault, you did the only thing you could have done," Olivia said to him honestly.

Elliot shook his head. "I shouldn't have taken the shot… I just shouldn't have, and now… now a teenage girl suffered the consequences for my stupid mistake," Elliot quietly told her, growing agitated with himself.

"Elliot, you did the only thing you could have done, please stop blaming yourself for that, I don't blame you, no one blames you." To be honest, Olivia had known that it had affected as much as it actually had, only now it was starting to worry her.

"Liv, I-," Elliot managed to say before he darted off to the bathroom, with Liv quickly following him, catching on immediately. He opened the door and barely succeeded at collapsing on his knees and leaning on his arms trying to steady himself before he expelled all the wine he had drunk the night before. Liv at first reaction, stood by the door unsure of herself and what to do, but as Elliot's shaking progressed violently, she could not keep herself from making some sort of effort to help him. She knew what it felt like to be hungover and even the smallest ones were just not good. So Olivia moved from her place at the door to the sink and quickly returned by Elliot's side as she placed a cool rag on his forehead. Elliot genuinely accepted the small relief and that's how they stood for several minutes until Elliot's stomach finally calmed. Elliot flushed and leaned against her white-tiled wall as Olivia returned the rag to the sink and dampened it.

Handing it off to him, Olivia saw that his eyes were already closing as his body longed rest. "You okay, El?"

Olivia sensed there was something off about him, even more off than a person who had a few too many. Elliot wearily nodded his head and opened his eyes. Olivia grabbed the rag from him, went down on her knees, and held it on his forehead. "Come on, El," Liv said as she reached her hands to his and helped him up. They walked all the way back to the guest room silently, Liv mentally freezing when she realized that Elliot had not let go of her hand.

"I'll be right back," Olivia said as she left the room and made her way to the kitchen. Opening the fridge she thought to herself how different he seemed…. It was as if he was … she couldn't quite find the word…maybe…compliant of her help…

She closed the door to the fridge with one hand, holding a cool water bottle in her other. She opened her medicine cabinet, hearing it creek, to find that she had rarely anything in there. Olivia picked up a bottle of painkillers. "This will have to do," she said to herself as she creaked the cabinet closed. Walking out of her kitchen and into the guest room, only to find that Elliot had once again passed out. She set the painkillers and water bottle on the nightstand and soundlessly walked passed the bed to the door, shutting off the lights, and closing the door behind her. When she got into her room, she glanced at her alarm clock. 6:04 a.m.

"Shit," she muttered under her breath. She had barely an hour before she had to start getting ready for work. She sighed and threw herself back on the bed, not wanting to lose another second of her already shorter than usual, sleep.

AN~ Sooo what do you think? I pretty much have the next chapter written out so please leave a review and tell me whether I should continue. Thank you for reading and I will hopefully have the next chapter for Unpredictability, which has been a bit challenging for me, out by the end of the week.