It was when you turned fourteen that things started going south because no one ever told you that you would fall asleep one one night happy and wake up the next night crying.
No one ever told you that you would rip into your veins because of the boys that you used that slid their tongues in your mouth even though you didn't want them to, no one ever told you that the first time you fell in love it would smell like flowers and then when he didn't love you back it would taste like blood.
You realize that you're nothing.
Your parents can't get you out of bed when you're home and your professors are writing home over the classes that you're failing but there's blood stains on the homework you have turned in.
You dream in black and white and your tears feel more like acid running down your cheeks than water.
You used to be dry but now your damp and stained from sweat and snot and blood and tears and you'll never be dry, you'll never be clean again. Everyone says you're supposed to be strong but you're still a little girl and you don't know how to be strong.
When he laid his hands on your, his tongue on you, you should have been string and told him "no" but you let it happen.
When the other one demanded you let him do it, too, because you let his friend do it you should have been strong and said "fuck you"
When all the other boys gathered around and told you that you had to let them do it because you let the first two you should have ran away, but you didn't.
And when they called you a slut because of it you should have been strong and demanded their respect but you didn't.
You were dying at such a young age and all the adults were worried about was the grades on paper and the way your room looked and how long your skirt was.
Why didn't any of them notice the way your laughter sounded fake?