Disclaimer: I do not own Noragami in any way possible.
Author's Note: I haven't written in a year. Apologies in advance. This is my first Noragami story, and it also serves as a writing exercise for me. Please do review. I'm very much afraid the characters did not come out as I envisioned them to be. Give me points for improvement. Thank you. :)
Leave Me Scars
"Here's to another year of adventures with you!"Hiyori raised her mug brimming with beer foam and made a toast with those of Yato and Yukine.
Clank.
The trio was at a downtown bar that Yato stumbled upon during one of his missions. The atmosphere inside the bar, in particular, did not really spell harmless and class. The overall luminescence inside was somehow dimmed and desecrated by a plenitude of multihued neon lights flashing across the room. They shed spectral lights of different intensities on various corners and "scenic" instances happening within patches of darkness.
The composition of music, jagged and discordant to some extent yet uplifting and thrilling at the same time, continuously blared in the background adding to the rapidity of the transition from one action to the other of each person in the bar – as if the people were obliged to catch up on the scampering pace of the music.
The velocity of the air, on the other hand, posed a stark comparison as one could almost feel it slow and stagnant. And if one consciously breathed it in, his senses could scream poison with the suffocating yet stimulating smell of cigarette smoke combined with the evaporating fumes of unequal alcohols being served to customers.
Under normal circumstances, an innocent Iki Hiyori would not be seen alive or dead in such a tainted place like this but she could not care any less. Not now when she felt exhilarated and liberated. Not now when she just turned 21 and acquired freedom. Not when she could pull off wrestling stunts and especially not now when she knew she was with Yato and Yukine anyway – who could touch and harm her if a powerful god and an equally strong regalia were with her? Who would dare?
She was now a woman.
And Yato, stealing glances at her face evidently flushed with (superficial) happiness, would like to believe he could be the man for her … and perhaps, if given the chance, he could add depth to her bliss.
"You should try being less obvious," Yukine who was seated beside Yato mockingly whispered to him before he gave him a sardonic smile and continued to down his drink.
It took everything for Yato to swallow forcibly the content of his mouth just so he would not make a fool of himself by suddenly spitting it out.
He clenched his fist and a vein almost popped out of his head as he tried to seethe in silence.
"And you brat should really start minding your own business," he retorted as silently as possible, his voice coarse with suppressed annoyance.
As if on cue, they began to hold a glaring contest for the umpteenth time until Hiyori noticed the hostility in the way the two were facing each other. She sighed knowing that she should have placed herself between the two of them to avoid any contact that might spark a muted yet heated fight between them. Despite this, she smiled knowing they never changed. It gave her security to know that everything was still the same as she knew it. She loved constancy because it seemed to mean fixity – like how Yato and Yukine would forever be with her and she with them.
But she was ready to take the risk of diverting this path of constancy away from the impending path of stillness when everything could be changed to achieve some kind of a meaningful progress.
Sooner or later, she knew she would have to take a step forward which had really been long overdue. She was holding back for quite a long time now.
She put down her mug and gently placed her hand atop the other hand of Yato which was resting on the table. She felt him tense under her touch, and she inwardly smiled in satisfaction knowing she was able to wield that effect on him.
Yato automatically (and helplessly) switched off his ominous façade. He slowly turned his head to face Hiyori who was giving him a warning smile. He could just give an awkward smile in return, completely understanding that expression of hers.
He could not remember when exactly he had started to warm up to Hiyori. Before he met her, even though he was not completely glacial nor heartless, he definitely was not the type who paid attention to human and mortal feelings. His life was all about killing demons and earning five-yen coins. But now …
(He tried to be cold at times but she would always melt him with her smiles and pouts that all his attempts were rendered futile. And he might as well be heartless for his heart was no longer his. She took it, and his life was suddenly all about protecting this girl, and her smiles, and their connection.)
Yukine noticed the shift in the aura of the two, and he immediately understood. Since the day Hiyori saved him and Yato from death and damnation, he himself had been counting the days until that moment that the two would realize what else they were able to create more than friendship and shared laughter and tears. He was no seer nor did he ever play cupid, but he had held those two close to his heart (despite his feeble attempts at denying it) that it was impossible not to notice the synchrony of their feelings for each other. It was almost as if one was always prepared both to live and die for the other, and yet they never realized the mutual affection that they began to share. So more often than not, Yukine could just do nothing but amuse himself with the cowardice of both of his friends. He would not push them; they would eventually fall into each other's gravity and they would not be able to resist it.
He drank the remaining liquid from his mug before he scraped his chair backward and stood up.
"I have to review for a test tomorrow. Thank you for the treat, Hiyori, " he smiled at her while he just threw a casual wave at Yato as if shrugging off whatever retorts he'd be giving and then started to walk away.
"Yukine! We're not yet through!" Yato re-clenched his fist and made some groaning sound when Yukine turned and gave him a decisive smirk before completely vanishing from their sight.
Now that no one else was there to distract him and Hiyori, he needed to confront the situation. He shifted in his seat and as gently as possible pulled his hand back from underneath Hiyori's hand.
He did not see the disappointment that flicked across her countenance.
She expected him to at least relish in that shared moment. She did not expect him to withdraw his hand back too quickly.
He composed himself before directly facing Hiyori and kept his tone even when he posed a question just to pass the time.
"So, what time do you want to leave, Hiyori? It's almost midnight and the streets at night – "
"But I'm with you anyway," she answered with glowing confidence that it shocked Yato.
Her statement promised a future of them together – as if nothing could pull them apart. Maybe he should be sorry about that.
He gave off a nervous laugh and answered carefully, "O-of course…but not always."
He noticed the sudden drop in her spirits and immediately regretted his statement. (He was too attuned to her feelings he could not stall any longer what was to happen.)
It had almost been seven years since the fateful encounter between the two of them – when he took up a simple job of looking for a cat and met her person along the way.
She spoke silently. "Can't we be? Can't we be, Yato?" She beamed at him just so there would not be a second to spare for the tears threatening to fall.
Almost instantly (intuitively, instinctively, inevitably) she was drawn to him the moment she first laid her eyes on him that no one and nothing else mattered when she ran to him and pushed him out of the way of the fast approaching truck.
(As if a machine of the mortal world could kill a god. Maybe she thought he was breakable – that his bones were made of solidified ashes enshroud in human flesh all together predisposed to disintegration and decomposition.)
But what he did not know was that Hiyori would always save him no matter what.
He did not know her (more than physical) attraction to him…but she would make him do.
He feigned confusion and continued to laugh shakily. As an added ornament to the show he was putting up, he scratched his head and gave him a quizzical look.
"Huh? Hahahahahaha. What are you talking about, Hiyori?"
The only thing Yato knew about Hiyori the first time fate threw them together was that this girl – mortal, ephemeral, and maybe fragile – saved him. She saved him, and he came to know about the pure goodness of her heart.
(Because in all actuality, who would even decide to save a complete stranger like him, much less a person who was predestined to be forgotten? That girl was unlucky enough to have him pass through (pierce through – swiftly and never lingering) her memories. Or maybe it was him who was in a pitiable condition – eternally passing through every person's memories yet never being held close to one's heart.)
This is a god's death. Being forgotten by Hiyori would be his death.
With renewed resolve, Hiyori stood up, grabbed his hand, and pulled him along with her as they made their way out of the crowded bar.
Yato let her. It was the least he could do.
When they exited the bar, Hiyori quickly surveyed the area. They would need a quiet place for this, and much to her chagrin, the area just outside the bar proved to be as peopled as the inside. She then spotted an entry into an alleyway and quickly disregarded the voice mocking her that the place was too sketchy. She blushed for a brief moment as she dragged Yato with her.
The narrow and damp alleyway did not disappoint. Nobody was there – no stray cats mewling in abandonment or scavenging for food from the trash bins and no couples engaged in some depraved action. She breathed a sigh of relief. A distraction was the last thing she could handle.
Without letting go of Yato's hand, she finally turned around to face him and smiled.
Yato braced himself for what was coming.
"Yato, I'm 21 now. And I think I'm coming to terms with the fact that – "
Yato squeezed her hand to distract her. But the gesture gave her hope, so much hope.
"Let's not start something we both know will end."
He took back his hand (and it was surprisingly easy to do so, quite contrary to what he expected). Perhaps she understood and she had come to agree with him. His eyes softened, and he smiled at her as if it was the best thing he could offer to Hiyori.
She stared at him blankly, searching his eyes for a reason valid enough to support his claim.
"So let's head back inside?" Yato added to break the silence.
"How could you just simply say that it would end? How could you decide that?" Her eyes flashed with anger (and perhaps beneath that exterior was the pain).
"Hiyori … "
" Yato, am I the only one who cares so much? Is being a friend all I can ever amount to you?"
He could not accept the fact that Hiyori would even dare question his feelings for her. Couldn't she see that everything he had been doing was for her?
He grabbed her shoulders and looked into her eyes.
"You … you don't even know what you're doing to me. How could you even give me something to fear of?" he looked briefly at the ground, searching for words to say.
He faced her again, pain and desperation marring his feature.
"You're bound to forget me, Hiyori! And every day I am hoping it'll get easier to walk away from you. And I no longer want to get you involved with all those dangers I constantly put myself in. I am a god, Hiyori and – "
"And what? That I'm just a human who happens to transform into a half-phantom at the weirdest instances? Am I too lowly a creature for you, Yato?"
"That's not the point, Hiyori. We live in different worlds. You cannot stay with me forever and I with you. Who knows? I might just disappear from this world tomorrow or the next day. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to leave you, but I can't promise that I can stay. And can't you see? You're growing each day while I'm stuck like this. You … will leave this world. You will leave me and Yukine, and I'm afraid I won't be able to stand it. I don't – "
Hiyori pulled him into a hug and held him tight.
"Then leave me scars, Yato, if that's the only way I can remember you. And I'll do the same to you."
She drew back a bit to look at his face. She held so much love for him she wished he could see it. She was willing to risk every goodbye if it would mean being together with him no matter how rough the road would be.
"If the day comes that I'll have to leave this world, then I will die with a smile knowing I spent my life with you. And if the day comes that it's you who has to leave, it may hurt but I'll let you go because you have my heart and I'll be wherever you are. We can say our goodbyes, but we can always begin just as often, Yato. I believe that we would meet again. Fate would always throw us together. I would always pick up your scent, and I would always find you," she blushed madly at her last statement.
Yato gave in. He still had his doubts and fears, but right now he could just admire this girl in front of her willingly offering her heart (and life) to him despite all the uncertainties. He could not let her down. He figured that if she was that strong, then he should also be to support her.
He cupped her cheeks and stroked her skin tenderly.
"I never thought you were as brave as this."
"I need to be fitting for a god, right?" she chuckled with such an arresting charm that Yato could not help himself but rest his forehead against hers.
"Damn right," he smirked before leaning in to capture her lips.
...
Fin.