Death is the Greatest Chance, a bleach fanfic

Sooo, I was reading Bleach, and I really wanted Gin to live, cause, let's face it, he's freaking awesome! Yes, I love him. mwehehe...so I wanted to write this little story! Please enjoy and review!

Disclaimer : I do NOT own Bleach...sadly. Or the song by Emphatic - Don't forget about me.

Told from Gin's POV, and the writing between the stars are flashbacks :) *

Before I know what has happened, my arm is ripped off, I stare down at it in shock. Blood pours out, gushes. Then something pushes through my stomach. Something sharp. A sword? I slump forward and blood drips steadily between my lips, drips onto his sword, makes a small pool on the cold ground. Everything's black. But then I can hear a voice. A beautiful voice. The same voice of the woman whom I cherish so much. One that I will no longer be able to see. To hold. To protect. And I'm thrown back almost a century ago.

I know time will come
And try to take the memories
But no matter how far I go
I will never forget

"Gin!"

She's chasing after me. But it's from a long time ago. When we are children. It's snowing and I can hear her. I can't look at her. I can't see the painful look that she's staring at me with. I can't. I can't see the hurt, the betrayal, and the fear in her eyes. I can't take it. I can't. I can't!

"Gin!"

I keep walking slowly, but I hear her small pants behind me. I know that her hands are most likely balled into little fists. The same hands that had reached out to me so many times before. And now? Now I am leaving. I'm pushing away those hands that I hold so dear to me. I distancing myself from those hands that I want to hold for the rest of my life. But I know. I have to do this. I need to. Have to. In order to prevent her from crying anymore. I need to leave. I need to become stronger. I can't see her cry again. I can't.

I know I might not see
Some of these faces again
Why do all good things
Have to end?

"Where were you, Gin?" I hear her say. I stop walking, but I do not turn around. I can't see her face. I can't. I would break down. I would give in. I wouldn't go to Soul Society. I would stay with her. I wouldn't be able to help her. I would fail. I can't let that happen. That is why, I can't turn around.

"Isn't that a Shinigami uniform?" Her footsteps stop only a few feet behind me. I mentally will my body not to move. Not to turn and gather her into my arms. It takes all of my strength to make sure there is no emotion in my voice. It is the one time that I can't smile – won't smile. Why would I smile? I'm not happy.

I remember the first day I saw your face
You kept me on track
Now I'm watching years
As they disappear
Looking back.

"Where did you get that?" Her voice is laced with sadness and hurt. I can hear it, but I can't see the actual emotion in her face. It would break my heart. It breaks my heart. So I do the only thing I know will work.

"I've made up my mind." My voice is cold, icy. It's the type of tone I use when I'm angry, but right now, it is merely used to hide the sorrow that wells deep in my chest and threatens to push its way up through my throat and out of my mouth.

"I'm going to become a Shinigami." I tell her and I hear her gasp in shock. I can even picture her beautiful blue eyes widening in shock, pure shock. But I continue, "I'm going to become a Shinigami and change things," Another gasp from her, and I can barely keep my head from turning to see if she's crying. She probably isn't. But if she was….I'm not sure what I would do.

"I'll fix it," I start again, and this is when I know that the next words will be my last to hers – at least for quite some time. But still, I say them. They are necessary if I want to protect her from him – from them. From people that will hurt her. I have to protect her. I've already thrown my pride and my honor out into the snow. Saying these words that would make a man seem weak will not make any difference. Because….because it is the absolute truth.

"So you won't have to cry anymore, Rangiku." And I disappear, fearing that if I stay any longer, I'll loose my resolve.

"Gin!"

Don't forget about me, no matter what you do
Don't forget about me, I'm always there for you
Don't forget about what we had, our time here might be through
Don't forget about me,
And I'll always remember you…

"GIN!"

Her scream is sharp, hoarse. I open my eyes, only a sliver, and see her falling towards me. She's screaming. But my hearing is going. Everything feels numb inside. But my mind is sharp. I remember that night, the night I left. There is one clear thought that passes through my mind when She screams my name once again. Time seems to go by in slow-motion.

I failed.

In the end, I couldn't retrieve what was taken from you, Rangiku.

She screams again and she's nearly holding me. I can fell her warmth, but it's slowly fading. Is it me that's growing cold?

But I'm glad…I'm glad I apologized.

She stops screaming just as my eyes fully close. Something warm and wet falls onto my cheek. Tears? No, don't cry, please. Do not cry, Ran-chan. Not over me. Don't cry.

She starts to sob as she hunches over my shoulders, her face is buried in my neck. I want to wrap my arms around her, but alas, I'm missing one, and I cannot move my body. Her body shakes from the sobs.

But there is a loud crash. Someone is there, but I feel no energy. I dare open my eyes and see a tall orange-haired boy standing, facing Aizen. I focus my gaze on his, even if he is not looking at me. His eyes are strong.

Some will stay, some will go
And see how the next page begins
But we'll always have this chapter, you and me

He's looking at the ground, I'm standing above him. I don't want to kill him. I know what he means to people. But mostly because of that girl….I know what is there, and I know what she would feel if he were to die without telling her that he shares those same feelings. I know….because I have the same fear. The fear of losing the only person whom I've truly cared about. If I were to loose her….

"For your own good….get out of here," I inform him, knowing that what I say next may be cold, but it will protect him, protect his love, protect that girl.

"You don't want to die yet, do you?" And just because I can, I add one of my famous grins. He stares at me in shock, but his eyes quickly show frustration – and a tiny hint of relief. He knows that he is not strong enough yet to beat me, to kill Aizen. I have given him a chance, hopefully one that he will gladly take, so he can continue on if I fail to do so.

I've got my songs,
There's not right or wrong
I just got to see
Wherever you are, I hope you're listening

Ah, his eyes have more power in them. That's good. That's very good. Looks like he did take my chance after all. Good. He is at a level now, where I can die and leave the rest to him. I tried. I failed. He is here. I just pray that he understands why I sent him away in the first place. I just pray that someone will understand why I did everything that I did.

Aizen starts to talk, but I can't hear him. Is he too far away? But in a moment, Aizen's pressure is pounding me into the ground, and in the next, it is gone. As if a ton of brick were lifted from my chest. I gasp out and I hear another painful sob.

"Gin! Please, please! Open your eyes, stay with me! Please, please. Please!" Her voice is broken, desperate. If it were anyone else, I would have been disgusted by the way their voice sounded but this is Rangiku. It is different. My heart breaks, the ice melts, and for the first time in a very long time, I feel true fear. It is nothing compared to the fear that I had just experienced with Aizen as he sword impaled me. No. this is much worse. I've never had this fear before.

I've never had the fear of dying.

Until now.

"GIN! Please! Goddamn it! You bastard, open your eyes! You owe me at least that! You bastard!" She's in hysterics. Her hands clutch to my gashes robes, pressing her face into my bloodied shoulder. I do owe her, but I cannot find the strength to abide her request. I can't. I try, but it is worthless. I am gone. I know I am. I've known that I would die on this day, for a very long time. But I thank God now, that I am dying in her arms – not alone on the rubble. She is with me. That is all that matters. My heart can stop for all I care. She deserves better. But she never was one to go looking for men who would treat her well. No, she always wanted the men who would hurt her – not physically, but emotionally. She always picked me. God knows why. But she did.

"Someone…please! Please! Somebody!" She screeches, her voice hoarse, raspy with tears.

"Matsumoto! What's…." But the male voice dies off, when, I'm assuming, sees me, lying dead on the rubble.

"Help him, please! Is Orihime with you? You brought her back, yes? Is she here?" Rangiku's voice was traveling fifty miles a minute, but perhaps that is just my hearing. Just as the though clears my brain, a girly yell erupts around us.

"Rangiku-chan! I'm here!"

I can't fell her warmth anymore. What's going on? No, I can't die yet. I need to see her one last time. I need to know that she's safe. I need to feel her.

"Please, Orihime, help him. Please!"

"Hai, I'll try my hard…." But the rest of her words are lost to me and Rangiku's warmth had evaporated from my grasp. I can't hear. I can't smell. I can't feel. I am dead. I know I am. Foolish girls. Always thinking they can save something they would never even have the chance of saving. But just this once, I was glad that they were stupid girls.

A loud beeping fills my ears, and rushed talking. Something is covering my nose and mouth. I'm…I am back? I slowly open my eyes and see many women and men working over me. There is an orange light covering me. What is going on? But there is a voice that stands out.

"Is he going to make it? Someone tell me something!"

"Get her out of here!"

the beeping slows.

Jumps.

"No! I have to stay! Please! Gin! Gin!"

Slows.

Then it goes into a loud hum.

The beeping stops

"NO! GIN!"

And everything goes black once again.

We'll say our goodbyes
With tears in our eyes,
It's okay to move on
Just know…
I'll never let you go
I remember the first day that I saw your face
You kept me on track
Now I'm watching years
As they disappear, looking back…

More beeping and there is a bright light that clouds my vision. My eyes are open and the thing is still covering my nose and mouth, helping me breathe. Something warm is clutching my hand and something heavy is pressed against my hip. I blink a few times, adjusting to the light and then slowly lift my head to see her beautiful hair spilled across the bedspread, a strand covers her right eye. Her face is turned towards me. Her eyes are closed peacefully and her mouth in parted slightly. But her cheeks are red, and there is a puffiness under her eyes.

I gather more strength that I never knew I had and squeeze her hand. She stirs and lifts her head, rubbing her eyes with her other hand. She lazily looks my way and I can see the shock on her face. And the relief.

"Gin!" And with that, she launches herself into my chest and wraps her arms around me. I make no hesitation and wrap my arms securely around her, not wanting to let go. Her shoulders shake with sobs and I find it hard to stop the stinging that is forming behind my eyelids.

When she pulls away, she looks at me, tears still streaming down her cheeks. I reach out my hand….wait.

I look down and see that my right arm is….it's there! But…it is metal. But I have my arm back…

I reach out once again and touch my metallic hand to the soft skin of her cheek. I caress it gently.

"How long?" I ask. She leans her head into my touch.

"Four years, thirty-six days. I have not been counting." A small smile appears on her lips and I can't help my next actions. I lean forward and touch my lips to hers. I've missed her for four years? But I'm not complaining, I'm here. Alive with her. We kiss for longer that I remember. I don't care. I can't care. I am told to stay in this hospital for another month before I can leave. But, I know that as soon as I am able to leave this bed, I will tell Rangiku, just like Ichigo Kurosaki will eventually tell the auburn-haired girl. I will tell her. I will ask her the hardest question that I would ever ask. But I'm sure that I already know her answer. Yes. It will most definitely be yes.

Five years later

As I predicted, she said yes. It has been five years since she told me yes. Five years since I saw my beautiful flower walk down the aisle. But It has only been eight months since she brought my child into this world. Eight months since another woman has captured my heart – my own daughter. And at times, I think about how if I had not died, would things have turned out this way? But whenever these thoughts cross my mind, a very loud voice rumbles through my mind.

Perhaps dying…was the greatest chance that was given to me.