A/N: Review. My rule! I definitely want more, but I won't update unless I get at least two. So read it, and enjoy it or not, tell me what you think of my writing!
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns the characters, the places, the everything...most of them. I might make up a few.
Unbelievable! Draco thought angrily. Unbelievable!
He had recently been dumped by his girlfriend of five months. Being dumped was not even what irked him. It was how she had done it— during his coming-of-age ceremony, in front of everyone he had ever met. That insufferable laughter...In the weeks that passed, and this too made him completely fed up with her, she had been legally aggressive, and with the most ridiculous complaints. Suing him for taking her non-existent possessions, she had gained the title of "the Girl who cried Thief". I personally did not call her that, but my mom always asked what The-Girl-Who-Cried-Thief had been up to.
Bringing him out of his reverie was the judge, who said wearily: "Draco Malfoy, what do you have to say for yourself?" Draco looked at her lazily, going for his cool composition act, and replied "Not guilty-y-y" he said through a perfect but fake yawn. Trying to make it seem as though this was no big deal was hard work; if he lost this case, he would be down thousands of galleons and spend a month or so in Azkaban. Truthfully, once they sent you there, you're damaged so bad you might as well just stay there or get the kiss. So that was what Draco's cool poise was pitted up against.
"I object!" was shrieked from across the room. The mouth responsible belonged to a tan oriental girl with perfect complexion, beautifully slanted eyes, thin hourglass figure, and the shiniest, smoothest, blackest hair Draco had ever had the pleasure to run through his fingers. So you see why he was attracted to her. He had been planning on breaking it off soon though with her anyway, because she was, in addition to gorgeous, utterly insane.
Her lawyer, a chubby man who reeked of wet dog, shushed her, saying, "Not yet."
The judge nodded, before saying, "Mr. Malfoy is here under charges of domestic abuse." This was a new one. She'd never accused him of this before. He had never done it of course. To ruin such a stunning face and body, well, he just couldn't have brought himself to do it, no matter how many times the girl had driven to want to pull his own dazzling hair out.
The judge continued, "The evidence, please?"
The elegant female teen, named Chuang-Mu (which ironically meant goddess of the bedroom and sexual delights), across the room reached a hand to her hobo sack, sequin-y purse (Draco had never been able to wrap his mind around how much she adored the shapeless bag) and pulled out a small blue box. Draco recognized it as the magical version of a tape recorder—it could store days' worth of sound in its five inches by five inches area, you could select a "file" by scrolling through it with your wand, the newer, more highly developed versions could be enchanted to only store or play for certain wands, it had a sound so clear you could imagine the voice being live and in the room, and had the most advanced wand/remote method to hit the streets.
"Behold," said Chuang-Mu, sneering. Had she not attended Cheng Fu, the Chinese school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and had learned her skill at Hogwarts, she would have definitely been in Slytherin. Her last name, Mat Chinoi, even meant Serpent Goddess. A flick of her ebony wand caused the box's lid to slide back, revealing a small pair of speakers. With its crystal-clear pitch, it sounded, "...I love to push you around and beat you, you know that—" in Draco's voice. She flipped her wand again and it stopped.
Draco looked incredulous, then replied in flabbergasted voice, "Oh for god's sake, I object! That has obviously been modified!"
The judge sighed; I am way too qualified to be dealing with this. Stupid teenagers. Wretched new generation... "Elucidate."
"Well, it's well-known that even the cheapest and oldest models of these voice recorders can be blended and screwed around with, the same way you can make a collage of pictures. I probably said 'I love you' and 'beat Gryffindor' and things like that."
Chuang-Mu—who had remained silent after her proof was displayed—burst into tears and cried, "You never said you loved me! You never did! You mean, you mean..." she hiccupped, "you mean little bastard!" Her mother, who was biased against all Caucasians, glared at me and hugged her sobbing daughter.
"Hey, you little bitch! What the hell are you talking about? I'm not even a bastard in the literal sense! I was nothing but nice to you for five fucking months, and then you go ahead and drop me and sleep with Blaise Zabini? What the fuck? So much for 'staying off your kind forever', you eccentric, bisexual whore!"
"Mr. Malfoy! No matter what Ms. Mat Chinoi said, your vulgar words are not appropriate." This was echoed by Chuang-Mu's entire family, all thirty-three of them, who chorused 'rude', 'stupid', 'inappropriate', and things like that.
Draco gaped at the judge. "She called me a fu—...a bastard!"
The judge sighed dramatically. "This...this case...ends here. Ms. Mat Chinoi, with us today we do not have the proper equipment to test and see whether your evidence is actually true. We cannot sue Mr. Malfoy on these conditions." Collective gasps from that side of the room and several curses. "However, Mr. Malfoy will not be getting completely off the hook." The Mat Chinoi side of the room huffed and guffawed happily, while the Malfoy side, which had been respectively silent up to this point, roared with anger.
"You can't be on the fence about this!"
"Draco here was honest, and this oriental bitch is just trying to mooch money off him!"
"You already decreed that you cannot sue on these conditions, why punish him? What are you talking about?"
The judge hammered the mallet down on the wooden board. Even in wizard courts, it was used—mostly just because it was good stress reliever for the judge on a particularly vexing case such as this.
Silence.
"As I was saying," the judge continued crossly, eyeing the Malfoy side of the room, which looked back insolently, "Mr. Malfoy will be punished. Not because of charges of abuse, but because of his temper. Though we cannot be sure he actually harmed Ms. Mat Chinoi, his anger flares are not safe. He is sentenced to attend anger management classes until his mental doctor says that he is healthy and safe for the world again. To make sure he does not cuss out at people, or physically harm them, he will be boarding at an apartment near the institution during his recovery. Later you can discuss whether you want private or group help lessons. Court is adjourned."
And with that, the Mat Chinoi family stalked out of the room, some of them content, some of them angry, some of them staring cross-eyed at their pinkies (So that's where she gets it from).
Most of the Malfoy family stormed out of the room, Draco's biggest cousin actually breaking the door hinges by slamming the door on his way out.
Lucius and Narcissa lingered at the back, talking with Draco's lawyer. Draco, still at the table in front, could still not accept this. The trial had lasted fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes with her, and he was ready to strangle something. He was going to have to spend the next few months or so in a shitty apartment, no doubt, spending every day with a bunch of crazies who would probably try to strangle him. Or rocked back and forth, very quiet, until someone said something slightly mean to them, in which case they leapt up from their chair trying to beat that person to a pulp. Draco had seen it happen. He had toddler cousins.
Draco shivered at the thought, and sent death glares at the wall until his eyes stung. Really, that stupid wall. Looking at me like it's got a right to laugh. Listen to it! Oh no, talking to inanimate objects...damn Chuang-Mu...but this one is special! This inanimate object is staring at me; I swear. Oh the audacity...
At which point Draco got a hold of himself and walked over to his parents.
A/N: So, what did you think? Tell me! If you loved it, yay! If you hated it, yay! If you aren't sure but want to review anyway, yay!