A little revision interlude based on the Zax spoilers for 11th April (only 2 days to wait!)

"I'm just not sure, Dylan… I don't know"

Dylan looked at her, a look of confusion and obviousness mixed together. "I thought you loved him. Or at least liked him. You do a pretty good job of pretending if you don't"

"I do! Love him, I mean. It's just… well, will 'they'"? Zoe wrung her hands anxiously, the pen between her fingers grinding uncomfortably against her hand.

She looked about the hospital room they were standing in – by reception. It was so busy they went unnoticed, like hiding a book in a library. If she'd turned round, she might have seen Max standing behind them, returning to Robyn some notes she'd accidentally left in RESUS. Their conversation, uninteresting to the rest of the staff and patients hadn't gone unnoticed by Max, or rather, Zoe's presence hadn't gone, like it never did, unnoticed by Max who had turned a careful ear to listen to their gossip.

"Who's 'they'? The consultants? For goodness sake, Zoe, I don't know why you're being so dramatic. They are just people. They do not care who your current squeeze is… and if you don't want to go, don't go. Simples". He hadn't meant to sound so uncaring. He did care, just didn't see the problem with taking Max to the consultants' ball.

Max turned and walked away. He needed some time to think and work out what he was going to say… should he convince Zoe to take him, or should he just stay at the hotel and wait for her to get back? But what was their relationship if she still couldn't bring herself to be honest?

When he saw her later in their smoking spot, he knew he had to talk to her.

"So, how's your day been?"

"Well, it's been… a day" Zoe smiled at him. In moments like this, he thought she loved him, was he wrong?

He nodded his head in silent recognition. "I er… heard to talking to Dylan earlier" he confessed.

"Dylan?" She asked, not remembering their chat. "OH. Oh." She looked down at the ground and then back up to him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to…"

"No, of course you didn't. That would be far too simple, wouldn't it, to actually have a sensible talk about something. Why do we always come back to this point, Zoe? The point where I doubt you, where I doubt myself and I doubt where this is going." She could hear his voice beginning to crack and tears start forming in his eyes as he continued. "I love you. You know that. But I don't know where I stand, and if you can't choose me over the possibility of other people's opinions being a little bit snobby, then maybe I can't do this." Zoe wasn't used to hearing her gentle, understanding Max talk to her like that. She could see the pain in his eyes, and was sure that it was reflected in hers.

He looked her in those big, brown eyes before turning and walking away. He was right – she hadn't been fair to him and their relationship was still on her terms – the department knew, but other people were still a step too far.

She rubbed her forehead with her thumb and first finger, trying to decide what to do. Ending it with Max wasn't an option. Well, not if he'd have her back. She did love him, of course she did, and maybe he was exactly what she needed – a push to be herself, to be honest with the world. Was he not worth that?

She wandered back into the department in somewhat of a daze. Should she find him? Talk to him? She wasn't sure. The day passed quickly – she hadn't even noticed him stood behind her, staring and then promptly scurrying away; a common occurrence that brought a smile to her face and joy to her heart, although she always pretended not to have noticed. She longed for that now. Just something to know that they were OK.

Aware that the ball was drawing ever nearer, she made her way up to his 'office' and rapped on the door. There was no reply from inside, so she tried the door which slipped in. At first, she didn't see him in there; assumed he'd left it unlocked. "Hi." As she was about to leave, she heard the gentle voice of her partner from the corner. She walked back in, turning and locking the door before making her way over to the small figure huddled by the cupboard.

"Max…" She breathed as she saw his tearstained face. "Max…" She repeated. She sat down on the floor next to him and drew him near, hugging his head close to his chest as he'd done to her when she'd needed it. She buried her hands in his hair and kissed the top of his head, anguish seeping from his sobbing body. She hadn't known the full extent of what she'd done to him until now. "I'm so sorry." It was all she could think of to say.

He looked up at her and smiled a watery smile, moving his lips to touch hers. Even now, contact was the only thing that could make either of them feel better. They were each other's anchor.

The kiss ended and Max lay his head in Zoe's outstretched lap, looking up at her, her hands still comforting him and stroking his head. "So, did you decide?" His voice sounded strained, coming from such an odd angle. "Max, there was never anything to decide… I'll always choose you". He smiled up, gratefully and took one of her hands in his, kissing each of the fingers in turn.

"I have to ask because I need to know. Are you embarrassed of me?"

Zoe looked down at his cute face, wanting to answer him honestly, but not sure that she knew the honest answer.

"No." She shook their joined hands reassuringly. "No. No, it's not you…"

"Not the old 'it's not you, it's me'"? Max said, only half joking.

She smiled at him in response. "I just don't like to admit that I need people, Max, that I need someone to make me happy. I'm embarrassed by me because I feel like a failure, admitting that I can't go on without you. Zoe Hanna's always been independent, I mean, I've been engaged twice, but neither of them were really serious, you know. Ways up the career ladder, maybe? See, I can't play that card with you. Despite my aspiration to be a porter" she saw him roll his eyes and they shared a smile. "The only reason I can be with you is because I can't be without you. And that's what I'm ashamed of. But I'm sorry, OK, really sorry. I haven't been fair to you"

He rolled off her lap and lay on the floor, indicating for her to do the same. Reluctantly, she slid down until their faces were level, their noses touching. Max tilted his face forwards and so very gently kissed her. There was something very intimate about their moment – something that they and they alone could understand. A bond that couldn't be broken.

"Let's start again… I am Max Walker, the greatest porter of all time." He joked, "Nice to meet you. I am Max Walker. A porter. How does that sound?"

"And I am Dr Zoe Hanna and I am in love with you" She whispered back, her breath on his face.

He smiled a smile of pure joy… a moment of bliss.

"Great! What time do we need to leave?"

"Oh, whenever, Zoe Hanna's never on time and some things never change".

Hope you enjoyed!