Set during Natsuki's third year.
"Natsuki, do you have any experience dating guys?"
Natsuki still remembers Hazuki's question.
"It's a secret."
And her own mysterious reply. Of course, 'It's a secret' sounded much better to Natsuki than 'I've never had a boyfriend' or 'I've never been on a date' or even 'I'm just really not into any of that 'dating dudes' stuff, y'know?'
It was never a big revelation for her - nothing at all like any of those grand stories she'd read online about coming out. She seemed to largely skip the process, in fact; she'd never bothered coming out to her parents or her friends. Her parents, she reasoned, weren't the type of people who particularly cared about their daughter's love life (or lack thereof, really), so Natsuki simply never brought the topic of her sexuality up. In a similar vein, she doubted her classmates would care, and she knew her friends wouldn't judge her for it - namely, Yuuko and Riko, who figured it out as the years went by and were nothing but supportive.
She once asked Riko how the older girl knew. Riko stared back at her, a thoughtful look in her brown eyes.
"I suppose it was when you wouldn't fawn over boys like the rest of the class." Riko paused, "And then I noticed you staring at Mizore a lot…"
Natsuki turned a light shade of red. "She's pretty, aight?"
"I'm not debating that." The older girl smirked slightly, "But yes, that was about the time. I wasn't a hundred percent sure until you confirmed it, though."
"You know, I did end up asking her out on a date." Natsuki added, trying to sound casual.
"You did?" Riko tilted her head, and Natsuki elected to look out the window instead, "I never heard."
"Got shot down, of course." Not that it isn't obvious, Natsuki thought to herself, "She was real nice about it, too. Apologizing and everything." She snorted. Riko placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Natsuki…"
"Oh hush." She interrupted Riko, "That was months ago. I'm way over it."
And she really was. Honest.
This was how all her romantic encounters - not that she had very many - went: meet pretty girl, talk to pretty girl, stare at pretty girl, get the courage to ask out pretty girl, get shot down by a decidedly straight pretty girl.
And Natsuki was okay with that. It wasn't their fault. But it didn't make the hurting go away any less.
And so it is a moment of great trepidation when Natsuki realises she has become enamored with Oumae Kumiko. She catches herself staring at the brunette one too many times during band practice, or getting lost in the younger girl's steady, unwavering presence beside her (only during the pauses, of course; she'd be damned if she let Taki catch her not focusing).
She doesn't tell anyone, of course - not even Riko (who goes to her for relationship problems) or Yuuko (who goes to her for Kaori problems) - she never has, and she never will.
It is a suitably strange thing, she reflects, that drags her to Kumiko: the younger girl's genuine personality, how unguarded Kumiko can be sometimes - something that always reminds Natsuki of what she could be in comparison to what she is. She wishes she could be a bit more like Kumiko, and wear her heart on her sleeve. Regardless, weeks of self-reflection have helped her convince herself that she desires more than simple friendship with the younger girl.
It certainly boosts Natsuki's confidence when she realises that the other girl is, at the very least, bi.
Of course, mere moments after her crush hits her it is violently beaten aside as she remembers a certain trumpet player. She wasn't blind to love - Kumiko and Reina were clearly head over heels for each other, a fact that everyone other than the inseparable pair seemed to know. Unlike Yuuko, she had nothing against Reina, which perhaps made it all the more worse.
So Natsuki (pretends she) is content to remain friends with her fellow euphonium player.
They're coming back from the Agata Festival, Natsuki having convinced Kumiko to go with her in a show of strange courage. Well, Natsuki reflects to herself, this is the closest I'll ever get to a date.
Kumiko is resplendent in her red, floral kimono, her hair tied up in a loose ponytail. Natsuki knows she has been staring at Kumiko one too many times, but she doesn't stop herself. Just tonight, Natsuki convinces herself. Just one night for her to indulge in her ridiculous fantasies.
"That was really fun!" Kumiko lets out a happy sigh, and Natsuki lets herself pretend it was because of her presence.
Nevertheless, she nods in agreement. "Yeah. They really stepped their game up this year."
"Hmm, I didn't go last year…"
"Oh, why not?"
Kumiko almost trips over a stray rock, and before she realises it Natsuki's hands are around her, steadying the taller girl. Kumiko chokes on air. "You okay?"
"Uh, yeah, I'm fine." Kumiko holds on to Natsuki for support, and the older girl feels unusually jumpy at the contact, "I was sick last year, is all."
Natsuki really doesn't remember Kumiko being sick on that day, but decides not to press the issue.
The two reach a bridge when flashing lights and sounds suddenly greet them from across the river. Natsuki stops to take in the view, and she senses Kumiko doing the same. Red and yellow fireworks light up the sky, and Natsuki silently appreciates the rather stunning display of pyrotechnics.
Natsuki turns to her partner, and her heart does another backflip. Kumiko - in this moment - is just as beautiful as the light show in front of them. Her face is lit up in a childish smile, her eyes wide in awe, and Natsuki has no doubt the other girl would be oohing and aahing if she wasn't stunned in silence.
The faint red light of the fireworks faintly shines off of Kumiko's face, something Natsuki notes when Kumiko turns to her (having noticed the older girl's staring), smile still bright on her face.
Natsuki is once again reminded that she is completely enamored with the other girl, and so she lets go of the last thread of rationality her mind was reeling her in with, succumbing to her heart instead. She forgets about Reina for a second; forgets about her own trepidation at her newfound feelings; forgets about everything that isn't her and Kumiko standing in this exact moment in this exact time.
Natsuki leans forward to press her lips against Kumiko's.
It's barely a split second, but Natsuki takes the moment to appreciate her first kiss, before pulling away.
And just like that, the magic is gone. The first thing Natsuki sees are Kumiko's expressive golden eyes, brighter than any firework could ever be. 'Expressive' is certainly a good word to describe them, Natsuki notes, as the younger girl's eyes are comically widened in surprise.
Ah well. Natsuki thinks to herself, it was fun while it lasted.
"W-What was that?" Kumiko asks, her voice cracking. Natsuki sighed internally. Well, she supposed she needed to deal with the consequences of her own actions.
"What do you think it was?" She teases, before a sudden, terrible thought occurs to her. "...Wait, that wasn't your first kiss, was it?"
Kumiko nods stiffly.
Natsuki should be feeling many things right now - horror, disgust, a strange sense of accomplishment - but she doesn't. She throws her head back and laughs out loud, perhaps even louder than the fireworks themselves; she laughs at her own stupidity; she laughs at her failed love life; she even thinks she's laughing because it's the only thing that'll take the pain away, even just for these precious short moments.
Her laughter dies in her throat. "I'm sorry, Kumiko." She manages to get out.
"No, no - it was just surprising, is all!" Kumiko waves her hands, and Natsuki just chuckles at the younger girl's adorable antics, but moreso at how Kumiko, even after all of that, is still trying to reassure the girl who stole her first kiss.
"No, no." Natsuki replies, "It was a really selfish move on my part. You already have Reina, don't you?" Her heart tries its best not to ache when she says the trumpet player's name.
"R-Reina?" Kumiko's eyes, once again, are comically widened, "W-What about Reina?"
"Kumiko," Natsuki stares at the girl, "you two are in love with each other." Saying it hurts less than she thought it would've, surprisingly.
"No, it's not like-"
"Really?" Natsuki interrupts, "Then - will you go out with me, Kumiko?"
Kumiko pauses. Natsuki already knows her answer, of course, but that doesn't stop a small part of her from wishing Kumiko would say yes. She wishes upon the first thing she sees - and Natsuki dearly hopes that fireworks can count as shooting stars.
"No." Kumiko's voice is resolute, and Natsuki closes her eyes, "I-I'm sorry, Natsuki, but I'm interested in Reina right now." It's a strangely refreshing twist, to hear herself get rejected because of another love interest, instead of just being the wrong gender - it's a step in the right direction, Natsuki snarkily notes.
"Sorry?" She's heard that word so many times it has almost lost its meaning, "You have nothing to be sorry for, Kumiko. It's not your fault."
It's not Kumiko's fault. Somehow, it hurt more this time than any other time. Or maybe it had just been too long since she'd last been rejected.
She feels tears well up in her eyes, and she brings her palm up to wipe them away, before muttering a quick "Sorry" to her kimono-clad friend as she abruptly leaves for the comfort of her own home. Natsuki notes - in the back of her head - that she is a terrible, terrible person for leaving Kumiko behind like this.
Natsuki falls asleep against the edge of her bed, still dressed in street clothing, her right hand tightly closed around a damp wad of tissue paper.
Yuuko takes one look at the brunette's bloodshot eyes before she pulls her best friend into her house. Natsuki is glad Yuuko's parents aren't home this morning, because she really doesn't think she could bear letting anyone else see her right now.
Yuuko pulls her blanket off of her bed, laying it haphazardly on the floor. "Sit." She directs Natsuki, who gladly obliges. Yuuko follows soon after, and she wastes no time.
"Talk." The blonde starts, "This is about Kumiko, right?" It isn't a question.
Natsuki nods, appreciative of how perceptive her hot-tempered friend can be with regards to her love life. "It didn't work out." She half-expects Yuuko to snort at the obvious statement - she would've in the blonde's position - but instead Yuuko takes her hands into her own, light green eyes full of concern.
"Natsuki…" is all the blonde can say before the brunette crashes into her, a fresh wave of tears coming from where they left off last night.
She's sick of it.
Natsuki is absolutely sick of how hurt she gets, how she can't help but cry her eyes out after every single rejection. All seven of them. She's counted- counting, more like. And this one hurts more than she could ever imagine, because this time she's crying into Yuuko's shoulder because she's not strong enough to accept that Kumiko and really any girl will never return her feelings.
Yuuko rubs small circles on her best friend's back, completely lost for words.
And that is all they do - for how long, Natsuki has no idea - because all she registers is the comforting warmth of her best friend and the soothing hand rubbing along her back. It takes many, many moments before Natsuki is able to get off of Yuuko, whose ivory nightshirt is now noticeably stained. The blonde doesn't say anything about it.
"So, what now?" Yuuko asks.
Natsuki's stomach grumbles, and it occurs to the brunette that she hasn't had a proper meal in eighteen hours now. "Food." Yuuko snorts at the response, but gets to her feet, helping the other girl up. The blonde throws on some appropriate (and less tear-stained) clothing while Natsuki runs off to the bathroom to wash her face.
The duo stumble out of Yuuko's house with no direction in mind, wandering around the place in search of eateries that are both open at this hour and are deemed 'suitable' by Yuuko. Finally, the warm, enticing smell of warm pancakes draws them to a newly-opened pancake house, and Yuuko practically shoves the brunette into the doors.
They slide into a table as a friendly waiter is already by their side (though really, 7 AM on a Saturday was not business hour) handing them a menu. Yuuko thanks him, before shoving the menu towards the brunette.
"Order whatever you want - my treat." Natsuki opens her mouth in protest, but Yuuko interrupts her, already knowing what she'd say, "You don't have a choice in the matter, so you better get the biggest stack of pancakes they have here." Her voice carries a tone of finality, and Natsuki acquiesces.
Yuuko herself orders a mug of steaming hot coffee, while Natsuki - after some deliberation - orders two stacks of chocolate chip pancakes (she was hungry) and a mint soda."You shouldn't drink cold drinks in the morning," Yuuko admonishes, though Natsuki notices she makes no effort to stop her from ordering the fizzy delight; leaving the brunette wondering what, exactly, has she ever done to deserve such wonderful friends.
"Thanks," Natsuki smiles - a small smile of appreciation that she hopes will convey more than her words ever could - "for being there for me, Yuuko." The blonde in question is taken aback, unable to really answer to that, her face faintly red.
So Natsuki helps her with a fake smirk, "You're pretty fun to hang out with when you're not sticking around Kaori."
"What!? It's none of your business who I spend my-" Yuuko's face is still faintly red - though for another reason entirely now, and the brunette simply sits back and lets herself get berated.
Natsuki Nakagawa wonders if, in another time, Reina did not exist - or she never met Kumiko, at least - and Kumiko's heart would've been set on herself instead of the trumpet player, and right now she would still be giggling in joy in her room from her reciprocated feelings. But she realises that it is quite silly to wonder such a ludicrous thing, and Natsuki is (genuinely) content to be right where she is, complete with chocolate chip pancakes and a rather adorable-when-she's-mad blonde.
KumikoxNatsuki, my darkhorse ship. Make it happen, KyoAni.