16th November

Bellatrix lestrange stood in front of a tall ornate mirror, which stood alone in the middle of the dimly lit room. Her breathing was quick and panicked, and she made an effort to calm it, squeezing her eyes shut and pursing her lips together.

"Can this even happen?" she thought as she ran her pale, slender hand over her stomach.

Clearly shown in the dusty mirror in front of her, was a small but defined bump. She felt sick. This wasn't right. Her body wasn't built for this; it had been damaged too much, ripped apart as a result of years of physical and emotional torture in Azkaban. This was impossible; she gazed at her reflection in wonder. Wasn't it?

12th January

"My lord, you wished to see me?" murmured the dark wild haired woman, bowing, before a tall slender man dressed in black robes.

He turned and faced her. His face was a ghostly white, his features snakelike. His eyes pierced into hers as she looked up, and despite herself, she shivered, and looked back down at her dress, praying that her corset was tight enough to hide her secret.

He walked towards her, reaching out a hand to cup her face. His fingers were elongated and his fingernails were sharp, like claws, stained with a dark brownish red. She frowned as he roughly caught her face, making her look back up at him. He held her like his for a while staring at her in silence. Eventually he spoke.

"Do I frighten you Bella?" he hissed, holding her face higher, his sharp finger nails cutting into her skin.

"No my leash," she muttered, ignoring the sharp pain in her face.

"Then my dear, why won't you... look at me?"

He stared at her, attempting to penetrate her mind, by to no avail. She hid no secrets from him. Or maybe she did, but she was very good at...putting them out of her mind. Why was it he didn't trust her, his loyalist of servants? She had always been devoted, desperate to be by his side, now she made every excuse to get away from him. She didn't get the same sick enjoyment out of torturing and murdering anymore, it seemed as if now it was simply a duty that must be completed. Whoever this woman was, kneeling at his feet, she wasn't Bellatrix Lestrange.

30th April

Narcissa continued to stare at her sister in astonishment and horror.

"I think I've known...for a while now," she finally said.

Bella's head whipped around to face her, a black madness ablaze in her eyes.

"You've known? You knew and you said nothing Narcissa?" she shrieked, her voice cracking. Her sister flinched at the use of her full name.

"Bella, I-"

"Silence! I needed you! You thought it would be fun to watch me break and crumble before your eyes! You didn't say anything? COWARD!"

"Bella calm down and listen to me! How exactly was I meant to brooch the subject? Hmm? And what if I had been wrong...the humiliation! Bella if this is really the dark lord's child; can you blame me for being afraid? Of what will become of it? Of what you will become? This shouldn't be possible Bella...I don't know if this is magic or...just abomination, either way it's not natural," her tall woman sat down and put her head in her hands.

"What's wrong with you Bella?"

30th July

"How long do you have," muttered the blonde woman, turning to her sister.

They sat together in a small, musty room. The students of the nearby school nicknamed it the "shrieking shack" and for good reason. The place felt unsafe, and even Bellatrix, who had faced the most feared of villains, felt the need to have her back to a wall.

"I don't know...not long," she replied, staring with disgust at her now bulging stomach, crushed with a corset.

"You'll hurt the child if you keep doing it up so tight you know..." commented Narcissa.

"To hell with the child!"

There was a silence.

"Thank you for bringing me here sissy," she said finally, looking down.

"I had to. If he found out of this...of any of this," she trailed off. She didn't need to finish, they both knew what Voldermort would do if he learned of their secret.

"What about after this? When you can hold the child, will it stay in yours arms?" asked Narcissa.

"The child will die. It should never have been here," Bellatrix snarled.

"Don't you feel any affection for it? While you are extraordinary Bella, you are still human...you can feel".

"I can feel sissy...but not for this creature."

There was another long silence.

"Then so be it.

7th August

She walked slowly through the dark forest not daring to make a noise that may wake a beast. After a walk making sure no one will be able to see her or hear the scream of a child, she placed the infant on the ground and opened the torn cloth which it was wrapped in. The child shivered and started to scream as the biting chill hit its bare skin. She didn't want to use magic for the death of her daughter. She wanted no complications she knew the dangers of using sorcery toward the death of children, she had seen this first hand with the Potter boy.

She knelt down next to the infant and took the knife from her pocket and in both hands she raised it above her head. Taking a deep breath she plunged the knife down, aiming for the heart. Suddenly a jolt of electricity stiffened her joints, causing the knife to only skim the surface of the child's skin, just below the collar bone. Bellatrix realised with a sudden burst of light that she couldn't do this. She could still feel! The emotions she thought had been destroyed were still there, under layers of scarring. And she knew one thing now. She cared for this child. Not love but not hate either. She didn't want it, but neither did she want to kill it.

Then, as she stood but, pale bundle in her arms she saw through the trees the low, warm orange light of a hut. As if in a trace she began towards it.

An old friend lived there, someone she hadn't spoken to for many years. Someone who she had betrayed. And now the fate of her child rested in his giant hands.

Sometime later

"TAKE IT!" she shrieked, thrusting the infant into the large mans arms.

"I CAN'T!" He yelled, then more calmly he added, "I will kill us all..."

"Please be quite, he'll find me! The dark lord will punish me. Hurt Me," she whispered.

The large dirty man looked down at the baby in disgust. The infant was wrapped in a thin, filthy piece of material and was falling in and out of an disturbed sleep.

"Please Hagrid, I know you'll be able to make her into someone better than me" she said in a hushed voice as if there was someone listening in. "I'll hurt her. I won't be able to help it. Please...you have always said what who you are is a choice you make. Give her a chance to make that choice," finished Bellatrix.

Hagrid looked at the wild woman, his eyes were filled with anger and sympathy

"What?! So you can go back and kill innocent people with you filthy lord, while you want me to stay here an' try to tame this murderous creature you've created! I don't know what sort of dark magic you've used here but no one will be able to love her!" he spat through gritted teeth.

He sat down abruptly with the child still in his arms.

"You know the war is coming. The dark lord has made his plans to kill the boy you call Harry Potter, and he will succeed. Help me and you will live through this, deny me and I will make sure you are amongst the first to go."

"DON'T THREATEN ME!" Screamed Hagrid , placing down the child roughly and stood up towering over Bella.

She knew hagrid could easily kill her with one hand so she chose her words carefully.

Cowering she whispered "I'll sacrifice myself, when Hogwarts is attacked I will let the boy kill me himself if you want. I am Voldemorts most loyalist servant if I am gone he will have no one. Please it's all I can offer. A life for a life" she said looking at her daughter.

"Fine. I will keep her, raise her and never speak of your name-she will never know who you are" growled Hagrid clenching his fists.

"Promise?"

"Have you ever known me to break one?" Said Hagrid with a slight smile under his matted beard

Bella nodded her head curtly.

Hagrid and Bella stood for a minute staring at the beautiful child; her features where the complete opposite of the conditions she was going to live in. The infants face was hard and cold and as Bella saw the look of wonder in the rough mans eyes, she knew it would be protected. , snapping back into reality Bella backed out of the porcine shack before Hagrid could change his mind. She ran further and further into the forbidden forest, deeper than she had ever dared too when she and her Slytherin friends where at Hogwarts. As the trees got thicker and the sky was no longer visible her bare feet began to sting and her chest began to pound. At last her legs gave way and she fell on her back knocking the air out of her lungs.

As she slowly sat herself up, her arms shaking, she thought of her promise she had made to hagrid. She could taste blood; she knew she was dying anyway so she may as well die in this world the way she entered it. In a war. Emotions surged in side her- half laughing half crying she let out everything she was feeling in a shrill scream, like a child throwing a tantrum.

Attempting to tuck the wild mass of curly black hair behind her ear she stood up and wiped her tear stained face with her dirty ripped dress. With a swift movement of her wand she quietly chocked out the words "apparate".