First fanfiction ever, be kind! SPOILER FANFIC! This fanfic is based on sneak peek 6 of Episode 3 of Season 7 from Grey´s Anatomy. If you haven´t seen it: the residents are talking about when they lost their virginity, causing an 'awkward' (to say the least) moment for April. The fanfic is April-centered.
Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy is not mine. It is Shonda's. Aprils 'memories' and thoughts at the other hand...so mine!
'So Karev, how old were you at your first time?'
April hears this embarrassing question coming out of the mouth of her fellow and only left Mercy Wester, and tries to hide her panic.
'15, school nurse, back of her car. When I was 16 she taught me how to drive that same car.'
April tries to ignore that judgemental voice inside her. She tries to ignore that voice that can't help but think how somebody could actually lose his virginity to 1) a person so much older than him 2) a person who actually took advantage of him and his eagerness to lose his virginity 3) a person who probably meant nothing to him but a 'hotshot'. She can't help but agree with this voice, now hearing another voice in her head whispering to her that if she had done the same she might not have been in her current position.
Then Meredith tells about her first time and with the person who:
'Sophomore in high school, had absolutely no idea what he was doing.'
Again, April tries to just get done what she was doing and leave as soon as possible. But again, that bitter voice inside her gets her thinking.
That could have been your story April. You could also have told the same story if only you had Gerry Simonson do what he had intended when he brought her to his room when his parents were out of town. You could have had the hotshot of your high school if only you hadn't been that stupid to overvalue your virginity. And from what he had told her, he even would've known what to do!
Her thoughts are interrupted by the voice of Jackson.
'Junior prom, Sara Richards and Ann Carroway. Together.'
Karev whistles as he is impressed.
A threesome as a first time. If hadn't been so painful and embarrassing she would have laughed right away. Even this could have been her story. Not that she wanted it to, but it could have been. If only she had joined her drunk best friend Reed and her at that time sexmate Paul Monahan. She had always known Monahan had had the hots for her too, but never expected Reed would support his suggestion. Of course Reed had been drunk and horny, but that didn't matter. The morning after April was still in possession of her virginity and an excuse from Reed.
April swallowed softly, trying not to get noticed. Even though it had been a while now since Reed was shot, every time April thought about her murdered best friend she ended up crying while watching at their photo.
'19.'
Cristina started, getting repeated by an amused Karev.
'19. I was very focused on my studies and it was my chem TA, he was a whole height shorter than me, but man he was smart.'
19. April tried to remember what she had been doing when she was 19. Oh. That is right. She had been studying and studying only, desperately trying to keep her mind of the death of her at that time best friend. Nancy had been suffering from cancer since her 14th, and after 5 years of fighting decided to give up. Everybody tried to convince her not to, but all Nancy had cared for was Aprils approval. And after seeing Nancy's suffering over and over again, she had told her that if she was sure she was too tired to fight any longer, it was okay to give herself peace. So Nancy died, leaving behind a broken April. It was that moment that April decided to become a doctor, even when she hated blood and hospitals and needles. And to become a doctor she needed to study. So she studied and studied only.
Everybody was grinning, and April sensed it was her turn. Well, she had nothing to tell. It was embarrassing enough to be known as the resident who used to had the hots for a married man, the husband of one her colleagues, to make things worse. It was embarrassing enough to be the one who was responsible for him getting shot. She did not need something new to make her feel bad about her own person. So she tries to talk herself out of it:
'I'm not talking about this. It is..it is a private memory.'
Karev asked if the guy died. If only the guy existed!
'It was…on the beach. With a sunset, it was beautiful.'
Really April? The best you could've come up with is that? What do you learn from all those stupid romance novel you read every night?
'On the beach, weren't there people?'
'With all the sand and everything?'
Great. Just perfect. You're busted Kepner. Way to go!
Karev is the first one who is on to her: 'Hah! You're a virgin!'
Perfect! Let's deny, even though it wont help anymore. I'm screwed. Ha! Funny mind!
Everyone begins to laugh at her, and Cristina tells Karev to do something.
Awesome! Can I go and cry somewhere? Oh wait, Meredith is saying something. Ah, she is defending me! The irony, the wife of the man I used to have a crush on defends me! Though that crush was just based on the fact he was married and thus unavailable.
-(ending of sneak peek)
'you are awesome. You're going to be the best surgeon. You will find true love.'
'April? Are you here?'
April hears the voice, Merediths voice to be precise, and her knocking on the door. Wiping off her tears and closing her red notebook full with encouraging words she responds.
'Yeah…uhm, I'm here. I'm okay, don't worry. I was just uhm…searching for new scrubs. No need to come in!'
She stands up and hides her red notebook, quickly searching for scrubs so she can prove what she was doing. She is still trying to control her breathing when Meredith just comes in.
'Are you okay? I mean, Alex shouldn't have been such an ass. Neither should Avery. And Cristina is Cristina, can't apologize for her. But you were right, it is a personal thing., so..'
April turns around, feeling her tears flow again.
'I am a virgin. Sure I have been with boys, with men, but I never came further than kissing or touching above the belt. It is not that I am afraid for sex or that I hate men or I am asexual…I was just waiting for the right guy. But the right guy didn't show up…so it just never happened. And then I thought what is the big deal, just get over it…but I could never force myself to go further than base 2. It just…didn't happen. But till now I wasn't ashamed of it. Till now. '
She wipes off her tears again, forcing herself to be strong.
'April, it's okay. I … it's okay. You are a pretty great surgeon, and that is all what matters here.'
April has gotten control of herself again, and feels like opening up to Meredith, telling her what till now only Reed know but then her pager goes off.
'It's dr Hunt. I need to go.'
April inhales deep once again and then gets out of the closet. Just before she runs off, she looks at Meredith again, and says:
'Thanks for being here for me. I appreciate it. You are one of the few, if not the only one, who doesn't think I am a total idiot.'
Meredith smiles and with those words dr Kepner runs of to prove Meredith right.
AN:
So it turned out to be a lot longer and different than what I expected, with a lot of Meredith-mothering. I think I might be able to continue this story if people would like me to do so (though there still are a lot of April haters (like me not so long ago)). Would love reviews!
PLUS: all of the experiences of Karev, Avery, Mer and Cristina are from the sneak peek. not mine.