MaD aS RaBbItS

EpIsODe 1: PErPeTuAl ChIlDhoOd

His heels clicked on the marble floors, the bright white marble was shined to the point he could see his reflection. It disturbed him, because even when the hall was completely empty, he never truly felt alone.

The conversation of just a few moments ago was still fresh on his mind.

"You need to find her, and take her out,"

"Her? She's only a child!" the picture of the young girl's face was handed to him, mockingly staring back at him.

"She's no older then you so don't let her appearance set you off. She's just as dangerous as any of the Seraph here," Naomi stated darkly.

"So why send a Cherub to do it?" Hazrael argued. He really didn't want to do this.

"I picked you because, even though you're not as glamorously strong, you're much more intelligent, and much more trustworthy. This operation is to be in total secrecy. Nobody must find out,"

He ran his hand along the marble wall, completely smoothed out, no bumps or lumps at all. Just like his society.

His world was the perfect one, orderly and routine. Everything was clean and perfect; he couldn't imagine why anybody would want to ruin it. But he couldn't help but wonder why this girl was such a big deal that the Seraphim would be under such stress. She didn't look like anything special, but Naomi had given him a clear warning, to watch out for a supposed 'magic pencil' what was so special about it? Naomi wouldn't say, he was told that if he managed to get a hold of it, break it.

Still, it was a bit worrisome.

"I better get a promotion out of this…"


Ren bounced down the halls, firing squirts of water at her attacker as she ran into a room, quickly slamming the door behind her.

"Ha! Try and get through that!" she laughed.

Suddenly there was pounding on the door. "No fair! You said we couldn't go into rooms!"

"I lied! You should know better then that Tyler," she answered, digging her heels into the floor as she tried to keep the door closed.

"Let me in! This isn't fair!" Tyler called.

He suddenly burst into the room, and Ren was gone. He looked around the messy bedroom. It was his; of course, Ren would never put her own stuff in danger. His stuff lay scattered across the creaky wooden floors, his bed wasn't made (and probably never would be) and his closet was next to his desk, with the door sealed shut.

A wide grin spread across his face, as he tried to creep quietly up to the closet. Needless to say, he failed miserably, the floor creaking in protest with each step. He quickly grasped the handle and wrenched it open, spraying his squirt gun at full force, only to find that Ren wasn't there. He peaked inside curiously, looking for perhaps an Aperture, but nothing was there.

"Geeze, now all your clothes are wet and our drier is broke,"

He quickly turned, to find himself nose-to-nozzle of Ren's squirt gun. Her face split into a Cheshire grin, and she pulled the trigger. Ten pound of water greeted his face in a rush not much different from a fire hose.

"All right all right! You win!" Tyler squealed. "Knock it off!"

Ren grinned maliciously, and then bounced forward, grabbing his squirt gun before he could retaliate; he then found two squirt guns at his face. "I know I do,"

He frowned, soaking wet, drops of water dripping from the tips of his shaggy brown hair. Ren gave a confident smirk, and she paced away, crossing her arms over her chest. "Okay, enough fooling around, I need to finish the chapter or I don't get paid,"

Tyler sighed heavily, wringing out of shirt of water. "Okay, fine, be that way,"

"You'll let me be that way if you want to eat this month," she slammed the door behind her.

"We'll have a rematch!" he called out as he scuffed out into the hallway, the constant tick-tock of the clock ringing in his ears.

They lived in the old clock tower (affectionately named 'Timothy' by the town residents); therefore they always knew the time. Tyler himself was official keeper of the clock. The Clock was above the living room, about seventy five feet above the TV and about teen feet in diameter. The glass was semi-transparent, so when it was sunny, there was a reflection of the clock in the center of the living room floor, which they cleared out just for that. Ren was a comic artist, and dedicates a week to her comic every month (Because they gave her a month to do it, even though she only needs a week, she didn't tell them that, of course.) Pay was good, and she basically did what she wanted, she hated meeting with her agent once every month, but other then that, they basically just mess around. It was a lifestyle they could live by, and carried little to no responsibility. Because the house was government paid, power bills were little to nothing to worth worrying over; all they had to fret about was food.

Overall, Tyler enjoyed his life, even if it seemed like he was perpetually ten years old.

He turned on the TV with his universal remote, flopping down onto his overstuffed couch. It was a Saturday, so naturally nothing was on. "I need to get a hobby," he muttered, lazily flipping through the channels. "We've got over a thousand channels and there isn't ever anything worth watching," A dilemma every child was forced to face often.

He thought of playing video-games, but decided against it. He'd played them, and could never beat Ren's high score on 'Knack-Man'.

Sighing heavily, he continued flipping through channels, finally landing on 'Pickelodeon' and the show called 'Invader Grim'. A re-run, but at least it was something.

"Finished!" Ren called.

Tyler looked up. "That was fast…"

Ren raced out of the room, performing a perfectly executed flying leap onto her enormous beanbag. "I only had a panel left, piece of cake," she replied, digging into the 'Bean-Bag of Death' (as dubbed by Tyler, considering he was almost sucked in, or so he claimed) and pulled out an Mo-Cha-Cola, popping the tab, and began to guzzle it down.

"You have such an easy job," Tyler sighed.

"And you don't? All you do is dust off the gears every once in a while," she replied. "Or stick just replace another gear, you don't have to make deadlines or deal with that annoying brat Marie," she stated boredly.

"No, I don't, and it's Mandy, not Marie," Tyler corrected her. Commonly known fact: Ren was horrid at names.

"Feh, whatever," she said. "I got a new idea, if you're interested,"

"Anything is better then watching Pickelodeon," Tyler replied. "Shoot,"

"Well, I found an interesting design in The Book…" she said casually, her eyes wandering off in the other direction.

"Heck yes!" Tyler quickly sat up. "What does it look like?"

"Come on, I'll show you," she beamed, and immediately bounced down to her room, Tyler following after. She scurried over to her bed, shoving aside the mattress, revealing a box-shaped hole in the bed-spring, where a thick book sat in it.

It looked like a sketch book, the cover tattered and torn, with the words 'Aperture Almanac' written on the front, with swirled letters and designs all around it. No author claimed the book, because it was the work of several generations, for as long as it had been created (probably centuries, Tyler had suspected) but Ren was rather vague on it's details.

She opened the book, tearing through the pages, even though it was so old and vulnerable. ("This thing is indestructible" she once said. "You could burn it and it would still be in fine shape,") she passed through all sorts of odd designs, finally landing on one about a forth of the way through the entire book.

"Here!" she said. "This one,"

The design was circular, simplistic looking, with a circle in the middle. "This it?" he asked, looking up at her skeptically, along the edges were writings in a foreign language, probably Japanese or something.

"Yup," Ren replied casually. "I want to know why this one is so special. All the other ones have odd shapes and little designs in the middle, but this one is just… blank,"

She pulled out a pencil from her pocket. It looked like any other pencil, but the wood a black color that shined green in the right lighting, the eraser a bright red in color. Written along the side, where ordinarily there would be a "2" written, was "∞"

"Cool, so we ready to go?" Tyler asked; a rush of adrenaline coursing through him.

"I don't know, got socks and shoes on?" she asked. "Jacket… that sort of junk?"

"Give me… five minutes!" Tyler was off in a heartbeat.


"Socks?" Ren asked, clearing everything out from the closet.

Tyler sat on her bed, watching in bemusement. "Check,"

"Shoes?"

"Check,"

"Jacket?"

"Check,"

"Some sort of pretty or shiny item that we can trade in case we end up in a barbaric land?"

"Well duh, check," Tyler sighed heavily, showing off his Golden Compass. "Though I hope it won't come to that…"

"Did you remember to change your underwear?" she finally asked, pulling out an overstuffed bag filled with lord knows what.

Tyler hesitated. "I'll… be right back…"

He was gone.

Ren sighed heavily, rolling her green eyes. She made sure the closet was clear, and pulled out the infinity pencil. Sitting crossed legged, she brought the pencil's tip to the white plaster wall, which was smoothed out like a canvas.

"Alright now, lets see…"

She copied the design in the 'Aperture Almanac' on the wall, so it was an enlarged copy, big enough for them to fit through. Once all the lines were connected, a faint humming sound was heard. "Got it!" she called.

The drawing filled itself in, the top part turning into a bright red and the bottom into a white. The circle in the center suddenly popped up, like a button. She looked at it with an eyebrow quirked. What was this…?

Tyler burst into the room, still doing his belt. "I'm ready to go!" he gasped.

Ren shook her head slightly, but then glanced at him. "Did you lock everything first?" she asked. "I don't want anybody accidently wandering in here on accident,"

"Of course, everything is locked up, nobody can get in here,"

She nodded, smiling slightly. "Good, now, let's get the show on the road,"

The doorway was complete, and Ren stood up, stretching slightly. Tyler cheered as Ren pressed the button, and the ball opened on it's own accord, were the entry to the new world was. From her closet, she could see vibrant green grasses and bushy trees.

"Ready?"

"Of course,"

The two stepped through the Aperture, and into a new world.


To: Whoever managed to read it this far...

I LIIIVVVEEE!!

Sorry I've been gone for so long... things came up and school and... rawr, its just a bunch of crap. But I'm back, and not just from outerspace. I deleted that old stuff, it made my own eyes bleed so I can only image what it has done to yours

Anyways... Mad as Rabbits. Yus, the title is from Panic at the Disco, so don't ask. Mmph, This is something I just cooked up, its 1:53 in the morning, I'll get you the next chapter by next weekend...

This is going to be one helluva cross-over. Each chapter (decides ths one) is going to cover a different little show/book/game world(i.e Yu-Gi-Oh, The Bartimaeus Trilogy, Legend of Zelda...) everything will be explained in time. I'm not going to even bother doing all of the disclaimers.

Lets put it this way, the only characters I myself own are: Ren, Tyler, Hazrael, Naomi, and Akuma. The other three will come once I get this show on the road. Care to name that Aperture design?

-Yours Deadly,

Lutie