Duncan's words still ring fresh in my mind. My parents' dying words still ring fresh in my mind. Everyone I ever knew...gone in the blink of an eye. Only Aedan and I survived, along with my mabari, Wolf. Ser Gilmore used to tease me about naming my dog that, but Aedan liked the sound of it.
"Do you think Fergus is still alive?" Aedan asks quietly.
"I hope so," I whisper. My twin brother looks a little more than upset, but he's always been a leader, and his leader face is on right now, despite everything. I know I was born first and therefore that technically makes me older, but I look up to Aedan. He's always been what I couldn't, always done the warrior thing right while I had to cover as a rogue.
"You're not hurt?" he asks.
"No," I say quietly, staring into the depths of the campfire. "You?"
"My arm is bleeding," he says quietly. I get up to do something about it, but he shakes his head. "No, save your mana for Ostagar. I don't know if any of the Wardens will give you lyrium potions, but we don't want to push it."
"Aedan, it-"
Just then, Duncan returns, dropping two rabbits by the fire. I shut up instantly, deciding it's smarter to learn more about him before I trust him with knowing I'm an apostate. Wolf gets up and sniffs at them, but Duncan waves him away, eliciting a growl from the mabari. He looks at me, and I tell the dog to listen. He whines, but pads back over to my side, curling up with his head on my lap and back to Aedan. My brother reaches out and scratches his back.
"Will you tell us more about this Joining ritual?" Aedan asks him while he guts and skins the animals.
"I'm afraid I cannot," Duncan says. "Be patient. We will reach Ostagar tomorrow and you will see."
"Why is it so secretive?" I ask. "It's not like we're going to back out. We don't have a choice." Not that I would if I did. I've always wanted to join the Wardens and since Aedan always followed me, he has too. It made me surge with pride when Duncan told our parents he was really in Highever for us, not Ser Gilmore.
"It's has always been a secret," Duncan says. "We do not question the old ways, I'm afraid. Now sharpen your weapons, polish your armor, something. We will be pushing it tomorrow. There's going to be another battle most likely."
Aedan shrugs, producing a whetstone from his pack. He takes his longsword, the Cousland family blade, and busies himself with running the stone along its length. I just sit here quietly, staring at a pendant of my mother's. Before we fled, she pressed it into my hand, telling me to never forget where I came from, to never forget that I'm a Cousland. I've had trouble staying at the castle, believing what Mother Mallol always said about mages. I've wanted to run away to the Circle sometimes, but our guards always caught me before I could.
Now I am more than determined to remind everyone who I am. Howe will pay for what he did. I will see the man dead and fed to the buzzards before I die.
I sigh, removing my quiver and setting it down beside me. I pull my bow out of it, doing my best to string it while sitting. Eventually, I'm forced to move Wolf and stand. He curls back up next to Aedan, waiting impatiently for me to sit again.
"A fine weapon," Duncan says.
"Uh, thanks," I reply. "My father made it for me."
"Ah," he says, nodding as he looks back down to the second rabbit. "Your father was a good craftsman, then."
"He was," I mutter, sitting. Wolf returns to my lap, whining softly. I rub his head. "I'll find you a new friend, Wolf, I promise." He whines again. "And we won't forget Oren."
Aedan makes a noise in his throat. I look up as he pulls off at a buckle on his side. The scale armor we found in the treasury fit him surprisingly well, so I let him keep it, deciding I would remain in my robe. I finger the cuff of my dress, remembering the day my mother had it made for me. Howe was coming to talk to Bryce and his son, Nathaniel, and daughter, Delilah, were coming to see Aedan and I. She had wanted me to have something nicer than the usual shirt and pants I wore, so I got this. I'd had the tailor cut slits in the sides that go up to my thighs so I could move easily. I've never been a big fan of dresses.
"You realize you can't continue in that," Aedan says.
"I know," I say. "But I'd like to have it until I can get armor tomorrow." My brother nods, looking back to his armor. He wipes dried blood and dirt from it.
"You're bleeding," Duncan says.
"Yes," Aedan replies. "Don't worry about it, though. I'll get a mage to look at it tomorrow."
"A wound like that should not go ignored."
"I'll bind it," I say quickly. "I'll have bandages in my pack."
"Excellent," Aedan says, moving to my side. He gives me a knowing look as I pull his shirt sleeve away. "There goes my favorite shirt." I snort, producing a salve, a poultice for him to drink, and linen to keep the salve on. I hand him the flask of red liquid and he gulps it down, grimacing at the taste. The infection around the cut disappears immediately, but I still rub the sticky green paste over his skin, smearing it thickly inside. He winces at the sting, but I shoot him my best 'you're a baby' face and he shuts up. I wrap his forearm and use a clear paste to keep the end stuck on the rest.
"The rabbits will be done shortly," Duncan announces. "Until then, I think we should discuss tonight's watch rounds."
"Leave it to Wolf," I say. "He's slept enough, and he can wake Aedan and I without alerting others."
"That should do," Duncan says, nodding. "Make sure you sleep well. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day for you."