School Wars Episode IX: Frozen

by QUACK Inc

In this episode of School Wars (where characters in Star Wars go to/work in a school), Han Solo is asked to do a special mission for Jabba the Hutt. It sounded innocent enough, but the school bully is up to no good again and puts Han in an interesting situation . . . Copyright QUACK Inc 2016. All characters were taken from Lucasfilm Ltd.'s Star Wars.

1. Chapter 1

Han Solo was scared. Jabba the Hutt asked to meet him in the school yard. Again. Although Han knew the meeting was not for money anymore, he was curious as to what Jabba wanted from him now. And scared. Definitely scared.

Walking with Chewie, his personal bodyguard and friend, Han wasn't as scared, but it was still there.

Man up, Han, he thought to himself, even if you don't get away, Chewie will, and he'll get the rest of the gang like last time.

That thought made Han Solo feel better. He squared his shoulders a little.

I am Han Solo, he thought, the bad boy of school. No slimy oozeball can ever change that.

He reached the playground, finally. Jabba was standing there, with his cronies Greedo and Bib Fortuna. His new Sebulba cap was perched backward on his slimy head, and his smile was smug.

"Han Solo!" he said, his short arms outstretched, "Welcome, dude!"

"Whatta you want, Hutt?"

Jabba gave a slow chuckle. "Oh, Solo. Chill. I just have a job for you."

Han raised a sceptical eyebrow. "Why can't Greedo or Bib do it?"

"Because," Jabba motioned for Han to come closer. Han shuffled forward, and Jabba then whispered into his ear. "Because, Han, between you and me? They're a bunch of boneheads. You, my friend, are the real dude . . ." he leaned back.

Han let that sink in. "So what do you want me to do?"

Jabba grinned. "I knew you'd take the challenge. Okay, you know my red root beer? The stuff I sell during lunch?"

"Yeah . . ."

"Well, I need to keep them cold, or the customers won't buy. So, what I need you to do is put my cases of root beer into the coldest part of the fridge in the school kitchen."

Han's eyebrows were trying to go to Heaven. "Really, Jabba? Get your own fridge! You don't need me to do something as stupid as that."

Jabba gave Han a dry grin. "Ah, but here is where we differ. You are Han Solo, trouble-maker, er – 'bad boy of the school' – and I know you will do a great job. Besides, since when does Han Solo skip an adventure such as this?"

Han's eyes crinkled in amusement. Did he sense Jabba, the school bully, praising and begging him? Besides, he had a reputation to keep. Han's doubts and suspicions slipped.

"Okay," he nodded, "Let's do this."