Note: Batman and Harley Quinn are not owned and created by me. This story is dedicated to Bill Finger, Adam West, and all of the wonderful people who have helped the Batman franchise.

Batman was going to spy on the Penguin, because he was worried that the Penguin had a evil scheme. The Penguin had a business company, store, and spa in the same mall. However Batman decided to do a quick visit Arkham Asylum to make sure that nobody broke out. Batman walked up to a guard and asked him what had happened recently. Batman asked "Have any criminals broken out recently?"

The guard nervously said "Yes."

Batman asked "Do you and the other guards know how to do your job?"

The guard said "Sometimes."

Batman sighed and asked "Who broke out?"

The guard said "Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn."

Batman asked "How did that happen?"

The guard said "I don't know. I was playing cards with the Joker while it happened."

Batman angrily replied "I'm going to ask a better guard what happened." Batman walked up to a different guard and asked "How did Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn escape Arkham Asylum this time?"

The second guard said "Nobody was watering the plants in Arkham Asylum. I thought Poison Ivy would be the best person to take care of that so I opened her cell for a few minutes and she escaped."

Batman replied "I'm going to have you two guards fired."

The first guard asked "Can we have a raise before we get fired?"

The second guard said "If we got raises we would lose money." Batman facepalmed while the guards argued with each other.

Meanwhile Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn were outside of the Penguin's company. Poison Ivy said "We've finally arrived. Now we can start our plan."

Harley Quinn replied "You haven't even told me your help plan yet."

Poison Ivy said "I told you my plan as soon as we broke out. You should of been listening."

Harley Quinn replied "Sorry Ivy, but I was too excited about being free to pay attention. What's your plan?"

Poison Ivy said "The Penguin is planning on having a forest full of plants destroyed so we need to get rid of his company. We need to sneak into his company."

Harley Quinn replied "We look pretty recognizable in our costumes."

Poison Ivy said "I suppose a plant loving super villain and a clown woman would stand out." Poison Ivy thought of a plan while Harley Quinn read comic books. A few minutes later Poison Ivy said "I know how we can sneak in. If we put robes over our costumes people might not know who we are."

Harley Quinn asked "Where are we supposed to find robes?"

Poison Ivy said "Well I know that you have a habit of bringing random things with you."

Harley Quinn looked in her stash of random stuff she brought with her and found two robes. Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn put robes over their costumes. Poison Ivy said "You need to take off your mask so people won't know who you are."

Harley Quinn said "Okay." Harley threw her mask off. The mask landed on a guy walking guy. The guy was so weak that being hit with a mask was enough to make him pass out.

Meanwhile Batman was going to drive the Penguin's building, but he realized that if he came as Batman it would hard for him to spy on the Penguin without the Penguin finding out his plan. Batman decided to go the Penguin's building dressed as Bruce Wayne, but he had his Batman costume in his trunk in case he needed it later.

Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn walked into the building. Thankfully for them the robes they had on over their costumes kept the people inside from knowing who they are. Poison Ivy said "We're lucky that the citizens of Gotham are more gullible than we thought. We need to find the Penguin's office and set it up with dangerous plant creatures to break his office apart."

Ms. Dozier, the manager of the Penguin's spa, said "Greetings you two."

Poison Ivy replied "Please leave us alone. We have business to do."

Harley Quinn said "But we could get a spa first."

Poison Ivy whispered "We're super criminals, not super relaxers."

Harley Quinn whispered "But I want to have super fun, not super boredom."

Ms. Dozier said "Please come with me ladies. Spas are 20% off."

Poison Ivy replied "We're not here for a silly spa."

Ms. Dozier said "The spa will help you relax."

Poison Ivy angrily replied "I don't need to relax!"

While Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn were being dragged into the spa store Bruce Wayne walked inside and saw them. Bruce whispered "Those two are probably working on their own evil plan. I have a lot to take care of this time."

The Penguin walked by and said "Greetings Mr. Wayne. It's nice to see you."

Bruce replied "I'm surprised to hear you say that, because you usually think I'm a fool."

The Penguin said "I used to have a silly grudge against people who are more rich than me, but I'm done with all of that immature stuff. I'm a rich businessman so there's no need for me to be a criminal."

Bruce replied "You may not be a criminal anymore, but you have some criminals in your mall."

The Penguin asked "Which criminals?"

Bruce pointed to the spa's front window and said "Those two customers who are arguing with the manager look like Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn."

The Penguin looked and replied "I think those are just two women with similar hair."

Bruce said "But they have the same faces too."

The Penguin replied "Yeah right."

Bruce said "I heard that you're a good business man. I want to work on a business deal with you."

The Penguin replied "I'm always excited to make fair business deals."

Bruce pretended to want to work on a business deal with the Penguin so he could investigate the Penguin's office. He put his business card in the Penguin's coat pocket so he could find the key to the Penguin's office and grab it. The Penguin was too excited about his sneaky plans to notice that Bruce took the key. The Penguin led Bruce to the waiting room. The Penguin said "I need to go fire the new guards. They used to work at Arkham Asylum so I hired them to guard the store, but they're have been dozens of robberies since I hired them."

After the Penguin walked out of the waiting room Bruce sneaked to the Penguin's office. Bruce looked in the file cabinets to find information. Bruce whispered "This cabinet has plenty of money in it. I need to find out if the Penguin stole this money." Bruce looked at the money and noticed that there were some driver licenses in the cabinet. Bruce realized what the Penguin's plan was.

Meanwhile Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn were getting massages in the spa. Poison Ivy said "Relaxing in here is wasting my time."

Harley Quinn replied "Don't become as obsessed with time as the Clock King."

Poison Ivy angrily said "But I need to stop the Penguin's evil plan, not relax in this dumb spa."

Harley Quinn asked "What's the next step of your plan?"

Poison Ivy whispered "I'll leave this silly place. You can stay here, but if you see Batman look for me and tell me. I'm worried that he wants to stop me from hurting the Penguin."

Harley Quinn whispered "Batman should be proud of you for trying to defeat one of his main enemies. It's very noble of you."

Poison Ivy said "Stop massaging me spa worker. I need to go right now. My friend will take care of my bill." Harley frowned.

Poison Ivy eventually found where the Penguin's office was and walked to it. Bruce was about to leave the Penguin's office, but Poison Ivy walked in. Poison Ivy said "Hi Mr. Wayne. You should go."

Bruce replied "I will, but you shouldn't be here too."

Poison Ivy said "Um I was looking for the ladies room."

Bruce replied "Well the Penguin's office isn't the ladies room."

Poison Ivy asked "Why were you in his office?"

Bruce said "Um I thought it was the guys' restroom." Bruce ran out of the mall and went to his car to get his Batman costume.

Poison Ivy put seeds in Penguin's office. The seeds started growing into dangerous plants. Poison Ivy said "These creatures will get rid of the Penguin which will save all of the plants in the forest."

The Penguin walked into his office and asked "Are you Poison Ivy?"

Poison Ivy smiled and said "Yes."

The Penguin replied "For once Bruce Wayne was right." The plant creatures started trapping the Penguin. Poison Ivy walked out of the office and locked the door.

Poison Ivy had her cell phone in one of her robe's pockets so she called Harley Quinn. Poison Ivy said "I got the Penguin trapped."

Harley Quinn replied "We got a big problem: Batman's at the mall."

Poison Ivy said "Come to where I am. We'll take care of Batman together."

Harley Quinn replied "Okay." Harley paid for the massages and met up with Poison Ivy.

Meanwhile Batman still had a key to the Penguin's office so he used to get inside. Batman saw that the Penguin was trapped by plant creatures. Batman said "It seems like you need me to save you Penguin."

The Penguin replied "I usually don't want from help from you, but I need your help this time. Get me free from these freakish plants!" Batman used a antidote on the plant creatures which turned them back into seeds.

Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn arrived at the office. Poison Ivy said "Batman took care of my delightful plant creatures, but I have other ways of defeating the Penguin." Poison Ivy used her plant powers to try to hurt the Penguin.

The Penguin was so scared that he jumped into Batman's arms. The Penguin said "I'm sorry for all the crimes I did Batman. Please protect me."

Batman replied "If I save your life I need to take you back to Arkham Asylum for your money scheme."

The Penguin said "I don't have a money scheme this time."

Batman replied "I saw the money you had in the cabinets. The driver's license in there helped me realize that you've been having guards steal a small amount of money from each customer's wallet. You figured that if you didn't steal all of the money from the customers they wouldn't notice and if they did you would get the guards in trouble for it."

The Penguin said "I did that small crime."

Poison Ivy replied "But his big crime is planning on having a forest of plants destroyed to make room for more places to trick people."

Harley Quinn said "You're so insensitive to plants Penguin."

The Penguin replied "I saw you step on a plant earlier."

Harley Quinn said "I only step on rotten plants."

Batman said "Penguin you should call off your plan to destroy the forest."

The Penguin responded "Okay. Now Poison Ivy can leave me alone."

Poison Ivy said "Stopping your plan doesn't excuse you for planning the end of darling plants." Poison Ivy used her plant powers to attack the Penguin. The Penguin tried to stay in Batman's arms for safety, but Batman pushed him off so he could throw a pill into Poison Ivy's mouth that removed her powers.

Batman said "The pill wears off in a week so I have enough time to have good guards arrest her."

Harley Quinn replied "I'll defeat you by myself Batman." Harley used a hammer to smack Batman around. Since Batman saved the Penguin's life the Penguin used his umbrella to battle Harley. The two of them battled each other for several minutes. The Penguin used a sword in his umbrella to cut Harley's hammer in half.

Batman put handcuffs on Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn. Batman said "I hope you don't try to fight me this time Penguin."

The Penguin replied "Since you saved me I'll surrender."

Batman said "I'm proud of you this time. I hope that you stay away from illegal business from now on."

A week later Batman visited Arkham Asylum. The new guards were doing a better job than the previous guards. Batman gave Poison Ivy some regular plants and said "Someday protecting plants won't be a problem, but your powers make more problems."

Poison Ivy sighed and said "You might be right Batman. Thank you."

Batman walked to Harley Quinn's cell and gave her a toy hammer. Harley Quinn said "I'll hit you with this toy hammer after I escape from this weird place."

Batman walked to the Penguin's cell and gave him a book about how to be a good businessman. Batman said "Bruce Wayne bought your mall."

The Penguin angrily replied "I don't like Bruce Wayne. He's like a less mature version of you." Batman tried to resist laughing while listening to the Penguin's rant about Bruce Wayne.