Clop.
Step.
Clop.
Step.
Clop.
Step.
"How can you stand her? How can you have her under your roof? After what happened to Patrick, how can you even look at her face?"
"Charles, she's just a child," Maple had said. Sweet, kind Maple.
"A monster. That's what she is."
Step.
Clop.
Step.
The words still burned in Jai's ears, though it had been days since they had been spoken. She stopped walking for a moment, allowing her crutches to slip to the ground.
"You have no way of linking her to Patrick," Maple said, halfheartedly.
"She was there in the fire. How blind do you have to be to not see that?"
"It's your anger that blinds you Charles, your anger."
Jai wiped her forehead and the hood she was wearing fell down and Jai was quick to replace it. A cloak was horribly stereotypical for a shady character, but it was what did the job. Its shadow was cast in just the right direction so that her face was obstructed. Anyone who saw her would assume that it was just the way the light and shadows played with her face; they wouldn't realize that those were scars.
The fire had been large, though Jai could only remember it in its beginning stages. She had been knocked out soon after and was lucky to be alive. The burn markings on her face and the whole left side of her body told that story. She was lucky to be alive.
Luck. She smiled in spite of herself.
"Well, how would you feel if it had been me? What would you have thought then? You wouldn't let the little murderer under your own roof, that's one thing I can tell you for sure."
Maple was silent.
Jai fingered the pokeballs she carried with her. They were empty. They were stolen. Just another thing to add to the list that she was ashamed of in her life. This scored relatively low on the list since she had seen it as a necessity. Still, it pained her that she had taken them from one of the few people who had been truly and genuinely kind to her. This was a necessary action, she told herself over and over again. Then, that Maple would have given them to her if she had just asked. Neither thought was very comforting.
Seven days. It had been seven days since she had left Orange Grove Town where Maple lived. Seven days, and she still hadn't found a pokemon she thought suitable to join her party. Jai was a picky trainer. She had always been a fan of pokemon of the poison variety. This was something that she had picked up from her grandparents. Grammy and Poppy were gym leaders who specialized in the poison type. Though they were not league sanctioned and therefore could not offer badges, trainers still went out of their way to go to the little town of Oakland to challenge them. Grammy and Poppy were known for their skill, strategies, and above all their bond with their pokemon, many of which they had had for years.
Jai sat among the tall grasses, throwing her pokeballs up and down. She had been quite good at juggling when she was younger. It was something that she had learned to go along with the magic tricks that had so fascinated her at that age. Now, one of her balls fell to the ground and she sighed before picking it up again.
"You're a trainer, aren't you!" called a shrill voice.
Jai looked up. The boy couldn't be more than ten years old. In fact, he hardly looked that. Trainers seemed to be getting younger and younger each day.
"You're a trainer!" the boy shouted again, "So, you have to fight me!"
Jai couldn't help but laugh.
"I'm not going to fight you," she said.
"Oh yeah?"
"Look kid," Jai said, getting up. She forgot her crutches on the ground. "I'm not going to fight you." She gripped one of her pokeballs in her hand, holding it up, as if threatening to release whatever it was inside. Or rather, whatever wasn't inside.
"Why not?" the kid asked, a hint of disappointment in his voice.
Jai put the pokeballs in her pockets.
"This is why." She pulled up the sleeve of her cloak. The boy gasped. The burns had caused her flesh to curl in a strange pattern. If they didn't bring back memories, Jai might have even thought that it looked cool.
"What happened to you?" the boy asked.
"I wrestled with a Charizard," Jai said. The boys eyes were planted firmly on her now, "I wrestled with a Charizard. And I won. So, if you want to release some Rattata or Pidgey for me to finish off, I'll do it with pleasure. But, you have been warned."
"Sheesh," the little boy said, no longer so eager to battle, "I think I need to do something else right now."
With that, he left her to her peace. Jai sighed. That had been a close one. Of course, she could have just told the boy that she had no pokemon with her. But Jai was not the type to back down from a challenge. Even one from a kid. This just reaffirmed what she already knew— she needed to get a pokemon. And fast.
Jai was about to leave the spot. Then she remembered—her crutches. They had been necessary when she had first been recovering. Now she just kept them around as part of her disguise. They made her less intimidating but more importantly, less recognizable to the people of her past. No one would suspect a girl with a limp. She hoped.
Jai picked up her crutches. But, instead of using them on the beaten path, she held them, and returned to the tall grass. She walked through it, hoping to stumble upon a pokemon. Any type of pokemon would do. She scanned the horizon. A large group of rocks? Or an Onix? Fine. Any pokemon besides that one, any pokemon that was small enough for her to defeat with her own hands.
The grass seemed abnormally empty on this particular day. In the past, at least Jai would find Rattata, Pidgey, even the occasional Spearow. The sun was setting now and she still hadn't seen anything.
The grass was rattling, but only thanks to some wind. Jai noticed a tree in the distance. She headed towards it, deciding that she could rest there, then find her way back to the path. She would have to hurry to make it to the next town by night fall. Though she had spent plenty of nights out in the wild, she had never done it without the company of another person or pokemon. To do so now would be stupid; there was no other way of putting it. In fact, wandering around in tall grass like this, unprotected, probably bordered stupid. But, Jai never claimed to be smart. That was her brother's field.
When Jai reached the tree, she noticed that she had been beaten to it. Annoyance quickly turned to pleasure when she realized that it was, in fact, a pokemon in front of her. The Cubone was asleep, little belly pulsing up and down with each breath it took. Jai glanced quickly from side to side, making sure that there wasn't a trainer nearby. She had stolen pokemon before, but it was a mistake she had vowed never to repeat.
There wasn't another person in sight. Though the pokemon was asleep, Jai didn't dare throw a pokeball at it yet. If it didn't stay in the ball the first time, she would have a hard time defeating it with her bare hands. Taking a bone to the head wouldn't be the best thing in the world for her either. Last time she was knocked out, she almost died among flames. This time, she couldn't hope for a good Samaritan to be near by.
Jai crept up on the pokemon and grabbed its bone from its claw. The pokemon stirred, but didn't awake. Jai let out her breath in relief. Then, the pokemon's eyes flashed open.
Jai muttered profanities under her breath. She had to work quickly. She swung her arm around and hit the little pokemon with its own bone. It cried out in pain. The poor thing was defenseless without its weapon. Little tears began to well up in its eyes. Jai was suddenly angry. She saw flames though they weren't there. She hit the pokemon again with the bone, ignoring its pained cries. The Cubone curled up into a defensive, fetal position. Jai smacked it one more time before dropping the bone and throwing a pokeball at it.
"You're mine," she said, even before the pokeball had stopped shaking. Jai had been around pokemon all her life. She could recognize when one of them lost the will to fight, she could see it when they were broken.
Jai picked up the pokeball, a look of triumph on her face. She stared at it for a moment. But her joy was overshadowed by the familiar voice of her grandfather in her head.
"Strength is not measured by destruction," Poppy had so often said.
"But by being able to leave something better than it was when you first found it," Grammy would always finish for him.
Jai collapsed by the tree. She could hardly stop her own tears. She would not cry.
~*~
It had been a long night. Jai had spent most of it tossing and turning in the bed. Jai hated hostels. When she was younger, they had provided a nice place to chat with other trainers and even take part in the occasional battle. But, now she had very little to say and even less to battle with. She hadn't let her new pokemon out yet. Instead, she had left it at the pokemon center before going to the hostel. She would have to pick Cubone up before continuing.
The pokemon center was similar to every other one she had ever been in and the bright lights blinded her as she stepped through. She always felt out of place in pokemon centers. They were so bright and happy. And yet she knew that around every corner there were hurting creatures. And although she tried not to think about it, she knew from experience that not all of them would make it.
She felt the stares of other people. Her cloak was useless in hiding her face in such a lighted area. She glanced around, looking back at them. They quickly averted their gazes. No one wanted to be caught looking at a girl with crutches.
"I'm here to pick up a Cubone," Jai said when she reached the desk.
"For Erin Jameson?" the assistant at the desk asked.
"Yes, that's me," Jai said. She signed on the line where it was requested, making big, curly letters. It was a good thing that they didn't ask for her trainer's license. Everything had been destroyed in the fire. Even if she had had it, it would have been expired, not to mention contain a different name than the one she had signed the Cubone under. It occurred to Jai that she could probably pick up any number of pokemon from the center, simply by guessing their species correctly. But she had promised herself that she wouldn't steal pokemon anymore, a promise she intended to keep.
The lady at the desk had gone and retrieved Cubone's pokeball, and was now standing in front of Jai, still holding the ball.
"You know, this pokemon was awfully skittish around the nurses handling her."
"Well, Cubones aren't exactly the most social of creatures," Jai replied, annoyed. She held out her hand to get the pokeball, but the person at the desk didn't give in yet.
"You might consider being more gentle with your pokemon," the lady at the desk said, before handing over Cubone's ball against her better judgement.
Don't tell me how to raise my pokemon, Jai thought, but didn't say anything. She took the ball and left.
The town was smaller than most, but not too small to have its own gym. Jai looked at it, envying every person inside. At one point, she may have wanted to take the gym challenge. She knew that it had always been her brother's dream. Her brother had been an excellent trainer. He had won every tournament for his age group as a child back in Fallen Leaf Town, where they had grown up. Everyone had said that he had so much promise. And then, he had left. Dylan had left her.
Jai stopped at the pokemart where she stocked up on potions and pokefood. She had stopped thinking about the fact that she was paying with stolen money. Soon enough, she would get a job. Or better yet, she would train Cubone so that she could make money as a trainer. She was tempted to promise herself that one day she would pay Maple back. But, she knew in her heart that she could never return to where she had come from. Not after leaving the way that she had. She hadn't even left a note. She had stood there for hours, debating what to write. She wanted to thank Maple for her kindness, for saving her after the fire, for feeding her, making sure that she was well. But there was no way to put that into words. So, instead, Jai had taken three pokeballs and enough money to sustain her until she caught something. She shook her head, knowing that she had fulfilled Charles' words. She was a monster.
She left the town as soon as she had stocked up. She wanted to be away from people before she released her Cubone. It was impossible to know how their first meeting would go. And she didn't want anyone else there to see.
Although she couldn't see anyone in either direction on the path, Jai still waded out into the grass and dropped her crutches before releasing her pokemon. As soon as her feet touched the solid ground, the Cubone rubbed her eyes. Then, it noticed Jai. Cubone quickly got into a battle stance, bone held back, ready to throw at the girl if she made a move. Despite the pokemon's tough stance, Jai could see fear in its eyes.
"I'm not going to hurt you," Jai said, though she knew that her words were meaningless. She didn't even have other pokemon to explain that she wasn't some kind of monster. Like everything else, lost in the fire. Jai always preferred to think that someone had found the pokeballs and now all of the pokemon she had come to love were living happily, somewhere else, with someone else.
"Bone," the pokemon said weakly.
"Or maybe I am," Jai said. She smiled a bit now, "Maybe I'm going to take that bone from you and beat you again. You better not throw it at me, or I just might."
The Cubone allowed its hand to rest at its side, still gripping the bone tightly.
Jai stood there. She had trained many pokemon. But always, always with the help of another pokemon. Another pokemon could explain that Jai wasn't the devil incarnate. Another pokemon could take this Cubone under their wing. But, Jai was in this alone now.
"Now," Jai said, "You have to be alert. You get distracted for one moment, one moment, and the tables can turn on you. I think that I proved that last night."
The pokemon was shaking. But Cubone was listening.
"Now, your other problem was, you were alone. You never want to be alone. That's where I come in. I imagine you've seen other pokemon and their trainers. Now, this is a mutually beneficial relationship. I'll help you become the best. We'll have two pair of eyes, can avoid danger that way."
Jai wondered if the pokemon could understand a word she was saying, as hard as it was shaking. Jai stepped towards the Cubone. Cubone's shaking increased as she got closer, but the pokemon made no attempt at attack. Jai bent down and picked the pokemon up. It wouldn't look at her. Instead, it closed its eyes. Its entire body went from shaking madly to being stiff all over.
Jai shook her head. This pokemon would be useless to her so long as its fear controlled it.
"What am I going to do with you?" she asked. The pokemon started shaking again.
There had been a time when Jai had found it easy to connect with pokemon. When she was a child, she was natural with them. Most children were. There was a connection that only a child could feel with another being. And somehow, Jai had lost her child-like demeanor. She returned Cubone to its ball. This was going to be a long journey. It was bad enough that she had lost all of her human connections. But, even her pokemon didn't like her. Fifteen years, and what did she have to show for it?