A/N: Ok firstly I know the timing is fucked up but I was watching the earlier episodes (an elephant fucks a pig mainly) and the timing is kind of screwed up on it for comical effect so I decided to do that too. This is based on the earlier episodes when they were all so cute, especially my darling little Wendy. I was so rape her… don't call me a paedophile!!
"Hello children, I'm your new teacher Mr Garrison." The bald man with glasses says.
"How come there is a puppet on your hand?" Wendy asked.
"This is Mr Hat, he is my assistant." Mr Garrison says with a smile.
"How come you have an assistant?" Wendy asked.
"You shut your mouth little girl," Mr Hat says as the class exchange confused glasses.
"Today we are going to learn about… Marijuana. Does anyone know what Marijuana is?"
"It's when you're having sex with a lady friend and you tickle her balls." Cartman says.
"Ok… now see, if you spend your life eating you end up dumb kids," Mr Hat says.
"Marijuana is a plant. You grow it in the ground and smoke it. Some people sell it and make a lot of money children and that's why Marijuana is bad. Question time?" Wendy puts her hand up.
"Yes… little girl, uhh Wendy is it?" Mr Garrison asks looking at the seating plan.
"Yes… how come elephant genes won't splice with Pig genes?"
"Oh… aren't you just a doll? Anyways kids anymore questions?" Stan puts up his hand.
"Yes… uhh Stanley."
"What is anal sex?" Stan asked.
"I know what that is, it's when you get aliens and then you cuddle with their injections."
"I meant questions about marijuana… God you're all so stupid." Mr Garrison says annoyed.
"How do we grow Marivana?" Kyle asked.
"Well if I knew that I wouldn't be a teacher."
-
"You guys… Kenny got some of that marijuana stuff." Cartman says running to his friends. Kenny was walking behind him. Stan and Kyle were waiting for the bus although they didn't want to go because that Mr Garrison guy kind of freaked them out.
"Where did you get marijuwawa thingy from Kenny?" Stan asked.
"My dad was growing some in the shed." Kenny replied in a muffled voice.
"Cool, Mr Garrison said we have to smoke it… how do we do that?" Kyle asked.
"My mum said we need a pipe or papers…" Cartman said as he went into his bag looking for his note pad. Cartman rips a tiny bit out of his history book, some thing about Vietnam. He rolls up the plant into the paper.
"Now what?" Stan asked.
"Now we inhale it." Cartman said inhaling.
"Is it working?" Kyle asked.
"I'm not sure. Why do people smoke this stuff anyways? It's not doing anything." Cartman said frustrated.
"No wait dude, I think you're meant to light it up…" Kenny said grabbing it from Cartman and lighting it up with a lighter.
"Well Kenny is it doing anything?" Kyle asked but Kenny wasn't responding.
"Kenny?" Stan asked but Kenny continued to inhale. Kenny finished off what was left and threw it into the snow. The bus pulled up.
"Get in, we are running late."
"Maybe if you got here faster…" Stan said.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" The bus driver asked.
"I said Bebe looks like she is plastered."
"Oh yeah, I'm plastered too." The boys got into the bus. Kenny started randomly laughing.
"Dude what's so funny?" Kyle asked.
"I forgot…" Kenny said.
"Hey Stan, look its Wendy Testaburger." Kyle said.
"Where?" Kyle pointed to the little girl.
"Stan likes Wendy Testaburger." Cartman sang as Kenny started laughing.
"I do not," Stan replied blushing a little.
"Yeah you do, you throw up every time she talks to you." The bus stopped at the school and everyone jumped out.
"Hey guys," Wendy says walking up to the four of them.
"Hey Wendy," Kyle said.
"Hi Stan," Wendy said smiling as Stan threw up.
"Ew! Barf is gross," Wendy said giving Stan a note.
"What does it say dude?" Kyle asked.
"She wants to see me at Stark's pond tonight," Stan says with a smile.
"Aw dude you can kiss her." Kyle says with a laugh.
"Or play with her pussy." Kenny says stoned.
"How do you know she has a cat?" The four boys start laughing after realising what Kenny meant.
-
"Hey Stan," Wendy says with a smile.
"Hey dude…" Stan says throwing up.
"Why do you always throw up when I talk to you?"
"I don't know…"
"He throws up when he is in love." Kenny says attempting to jump into Stark's Pond but it was frozen.
"Kenny?" Wendy asked looking at him.
"He has been doing marijuana." Stan says looking at his friend.
"But that's illegal…" Wendy says as Stan throws up again.
"Oh, Wendy… I like you, a lot…" Stan says throwing up.
"I like you too." She grabs Stan's arm but he throws up.
"Do you wanna be my boy friend?"
"What's that? Some kind of cheese?"
"No… when two people really like each other they start dating…"
"Oh… yeah, you can be my boy friend."
"No, No… I'm your girlfriend, you're my boyfriend."
"Oh… Wendy, your smart."
"I know." She said with a childish smug look.