I do not any of the characters of Star Fox or Channel Awesome.
Video Game Confessions:
Slippy Toad
Narrator: This is Dominic, Dominic works at the five star restaurant, the Pixel Palace. There, some video games most popular characters come in to have a drink. Sometimes they share stories and even secrets, for as we all know, what the bartenders hears is confidential. Isn't it.
Dominic: So I'm sitting there, tending bar when in walks someone you know needs a drink, Slippy Toad. And I mean it when I say he needs a drink because Slippy is one of the most hated characters in all of gaming; and because of that he would receive hate mail every day. Usually, he would come in here to drown his sorrows in beer but today he seemed to be in a really good mood. Like, a really good mood. He sits down at the bar asks me "Hey, bartender what's your best drink in the house?" I wasn't really sure how to answer that, I mean what kind of do you get for someone who's happy, so I told I'll check what I got in the back. After going through the menu I decided to make him a margarita. So I came back set it down on the counter in front of Slippy and asked "Well, you seem to be in a good mood. What's changed?" and Slippy's eyes lit up at that question. "Well you know my captain, Fox Mcloud? He made me captain for a week." I was surprised, I've heard Fox is nice guy but that's really nice of him. So I ask him "I'm sorry but I got to ask why where put in as captain?"
"Well, I had posted a cat video on Facebook, you those ones where the person got the light pen and he using it to mess with cat, well the next morning I got a lot of comments on the video. They didn't say anything about the video except that I was an unoriginal hack and I should be ashamed. And that just put me over the edge. So on our first mission I crashed R-wing into a mountain." Wow. "Yea." Needless to say there was an acquired silence. I broke it by asking "So how did you survive?" "Fortunately I saved by Falco and Fox pulled me out the wreckage." And I had to stop him for a minute. "Sorry, I got to interrupt again but was it safe for you be captain?" "Well, after some psychological therapy, they put me in a simulation to put me in a position as captain." I had to interrupt again. "Again, I'm not sure that's healthy for you. Didn't you feel pressured?"
He says "Well, no, they put me scenario where I thought I was already captain of a ship. And I was put on some easy missions, starting with cargo missions and then moving on to stealth missions. With each successful mission I felt better about myself. By the time I got to my last mission I felt like I could take on anything. That was until there was glitch showed up in the simulation." He took a drink of Margareta.
"What kind of glitch?"
"The kind of glitch that makes that makes Andros show up out of nowhere."
"Well how does that happen?"
"I've been told, someone tried to sabotage the ship with a virus. I don't know all the details."
"All right. So what did you do?"
"Well the first thing I did was have someone drop a bomb on his face. This actually exposed his brain allowing me shooting it and blowing it up."
I says, "And you defeated the glitch?"
"After shooting it and blowing it up and some help from the outside. I was told that peppy found the virus in the core of the ship."
"Did you find out who planted the virus?"
"We think Star Wolf was trying to sabotage the ship, like I said I don't know the details."
"Okay, so after all of this you're much more confident?"
"Yea, I mean still get the hate comments on Facebook and twitter; and sometimes I think about committing suicide but I am doing much better than I used too."
"So what are you going to do about it?"
"Well I'm going back to the academy and apply for captain. On top of that I have been told to check off things in my bucket list."
"Oh, how will that help?"
"Well the therapist liked the list and suggested I should complete it to give me a real sense of accomplishment." And then he rubbed the back of his neck. "One of those things was to start a bar fight." It took only two seconds for me realize where he was asking me and I said "No." and he "Please!" No I said "This is a five star restaurant not a bar, why would you want to do it here anyways?" "I don't live in this city, I come here for weekends." "Okay, fair enough, but you're not doing it here. However there is a bar down the street… called Bar. Go there, I am sure you can start a fight there. "Are you sure?" Yes I tell him. "Just go there now, the drink was on the house." See I needed to get him out of the restaurant as quick as possible so he doesn't pull any sneak attack. Anyway he said thank you and he left. The next morning a picture of Slippy with a black eye and his uniform torn off on the front page. The headline said "The Most Epic Bar fight of the Year". A couple of days later that there was no virus I found out from Falco that there was no virus and Fox just raised the stakes for the scenario. You see, Fox wanted to prove to Slippy that he was valued member of their team. So he put him in an unexpected situation that he could overcome. Fox saw something in Slippy that no one else did, so he wanted to bring that out of him. That's a good man.
I see a lot strange things as a bartender but a lot great things at the Pixel Palace and that ain't no lie. Swear it.