A/N- Ok, well in this fic Neils mum stands up to Neils father so Neil stays at Helton and doesn't comit suicide. I haven't read any other fic that has this happen so I'm excited!! Either I'm just so smart or it's a really crap idea. Anywho I'm hoping to make the next chapter longer, but you'll just have to wait and see, it all depends on how boring Drama and Religious Studies are. And if any of you review could you please answer/help me on a few points? One: Do you think Meeks and Charlie should be together in this fic? This is already a Todd/Neil but you can never get enough slash. Two: what is it? YAWP, YARP, YUWP, YAUWP or what? Three: Poetry, could you please tell me a really good poem that I could use, you'll understand at the end of the chapter, otherwise I'll have to write a poem, and though I have written a few they're no good or wouldn't suit it.

Disclaimer- I don't own 'The Dead Poets Society', any of the characters (so far), the Chap. title which is the name of a song by Imogen Heaps (I think), it's ok, but one of the verses sounds a bit stalkerish/perverted.

"No John! I will not have my boy sent off for ten whole years! He will go back to Welton or so help me I will leave right now and take Neil with me and neither of us will see you ever again, don't you think that I won't!"

Neil watched the on going fight with wide eyes; he couldn't believe what his mum was doing. For once, in Neil's life, she was standing up for herself, for him. Maybe he wouldn't be going off to military school after all.

"Sarah! Look, I'm just thinking about what's good for Neil. He has a far better chance of becoming a doctor than an actor. He doesn't have a chance of taking this acting business anywhere!"

Neil started getting angry at that; he could go far with this 'acting business'! But he thought it best not to say anything and just see how the argument went.

"Did you even watch Neil when you were there? He got the lead part, my friends have been calling up to say how well he did, that they know some other plays that he could star in. Marcy said that she wouldn't be surprised if he became the most famous actor the World has ever seen!" Though Neil know that Marcy had been exaggerating he couldn't help but feel proud of himself.

"It's entirely a matter of chance; this might have just been beginners luck! What if he doesn't get another part and he wastes all his time acting so that has nothing to fall back on?!"

"No John! Neil said he loves acting; his grades haven't dropped at all, not even by even one mark, if anything they've gotten better! If this continues he could keep up this 'acting business' and study to become a doctor at the same time. He's happier now than I've ever seen him before and I will not have you taking this away from him!"

"Sarah, please-"

"No John, tell Neil that he can stay at Welton and that he can keep acting or I'm leaving right now!"

"But, I…" John sighed and Neil hoped this meant he was giving in, "I can't fight with you Sarah. Neil you can go back to Welton and continue with this acting business of yours, as long as your grades stay the same and you put a lot of effort into your school work."

"Thank you father." He said, shaking his hand formally. When his father left immediately after he ran over to his mum and pulled her into a tight hug.

"Thank you so, so much!" Neil said into her shoulder as she started to cry.

"It's alright Neil; I could never have let you go, not for ten whole years. Now why don't you go back to school and tell all your friends that you're staying. I'm sure they're all worried about you by now."

"Can you drive me there, please?"

"Sure, come on. Before your father comes back and changes his mind."

The drive to Welton passed in silence, Neil deep in his thoughts, thinking about how lucky he was and how glad all the guys would be that he was staying, especially Todd. When they pulled up outside the school and he was about to get out, his mum finally spoke.

"Have a good time at school, I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too. Thanks for everything mum, and I really will try to keep my grades up." Neil said, meaning it.

"You see that you do."

"Bye mum." He said, climbing out of the car.

"Bye son."

Neil closed the car door and his mum drove off, leaving him alone to finally express how happy he really was.

"YUWP!"

He yelled at the top of his lungs, staring up at the sky, and with the hugest smile he practically skipped off into Helton. He paused in the hall for a moment, wondering who he should tell first. Though Todd immediately came to mind he decided to go tell Mr. Keating first, he was the one who he had gone to before and was probably just as worried as everyone else. When he did reach his office he waited outside for a minute when he heard voices coming through the door, but when he recognised the voices as Charlie's, Knox's, and other members of the Dead Poets Society's he walked right in.

"Hi everyone." He said when no one noticed him enter.

"Neill!" They all said, looking around on hearing his voice.

"What happened, did you tell him?" Mr. Keating asked, getting up to move over to Neill.

"I tried to, but my dad cut me off and started yelling at me," he started laughing nervously, "He wanted to send me away to military school."

"He can't do that!" Knox said.

"He isn't, my mum threatened to leave and take me with her. All I have to do is keep my grades up. I'm staying." By the time he'd finished they had already started cheering, all of them happy that he wasn't being sent away or any of the other things they had thought about before he had came back.

"I know you have it in you, you're a Dead Poet! You were wonderful, the best Puck I've ever seen!" Mr. Keating said, clapping him on the back.

"Thank you sir! Where's Todd?" He said, looking around the room and finding him no where.

"Never mind about that now, let's celebrate! So you're staying then, Helton would have seemed lonely without you." Charlie said with teasing sarcasm, hiding how excited he was by lighting a cigarette and starting to smoke. Neil was able to tell that this was Charlie's way of saying he was glad he was staying.

"Boys, I think this calls for some poetry, but unfortunately it's late and Charlie, if anyone caught you smoking in here I'd be out of a job and then you would all miss out on the wonders of my classroom and wisdom."

"Ay captain." Charlie said as he and the rest of the guys, except Neil, walked out of the room and made their way back to their rooms. When everyone had left and he was alone with Keating, he spoke.

"Thanks again captain, for your advice before."

"No problem, it was my pleasure."

After a moment of comfortable silence Neil walked out, he was surprised to find Charlie waiting for him, leaning against the wall, still smoking.

"What do you want Charlie?"

"It's Nuwanda, and I thought you might want to know where Todd is." He said, pushing off the wall with a slight smirk.

"Well, where is he?" Neil asked, worried that something might have happened to him, but then he relised if anything had happened he would have already been told and Charlie wouldn't have been smirking, for once in his life.

"He went straight to your room, I heard him crying inside when I went to ask him if he wanted to wait for you with the rest of us. I told everyone else he had fallen asleep."

"Why was he crying?" Neil ask, confused, which only made Charlie's smirk wider.

"What do you think Neil? He was crying over the love of his life being taken away from him. He was crying over you Neil!"

"He was?" He ignored the 'love of his life' comment.

"Yea, what are you going to do about it?"

"Go talk to him?"

"Yes, run off to your lover. Comfort the fair, young, maiden." Though Neil knew he was just joking it was starting to annoy him that Charlie kept referring to Todd as a girl.

"Todd is not a fair maiden Charlie."

"Ok, it was just a joke, calm down princess." He chose to ignore the princess comment as well.

"Alright, well see you latter. Don't let Nolan catch you smoking."

"I never do wonder boy. Night."

Neil watched as Charlie made his way down the hall, in the opposite direction to their rooms, curious as he was Neil thought it best not to ask him where he was going. After all if Neil had Cameron as a room mate he wouldn't go back to his room until he absolutely had to. Instead he made his own way back to his room, wondering what he would find waiting for him there, if Todd would still be crying or if he had fallen asleep by now. He didn't know what would be worse, seeing him crying because of him, or finding him asleep and not being able to tell him he was staying. Obviously he could wake him up but Neil had tried doing that before when he was bored one night and he hadn't been able to, he just looked so peaceful that he couldn't bear to wake him up. When he reached their room he pressed his ear against the door and didn't hear anything so he figured that Todd had fallen asleep after all. He opened the door as quietly as he could, closed it, then turned back around.

"Oh My Gosh Todd!" Neil almost yelled, jumping up in shock we he saw Todd sitting at his desk writing. Todd turned around and looked at him with wide eyes.

"Neil, I thought you weren't coming back!" He jumped up, then quickly turned over the piece of paper he had been writing on, remembering what he had written.

"So did I! I thought I was going to be shipped off to military school like my dad wanted, but then my mum stood up and said no, it was unbelievable! Anyway that doesn't matter now, all that matters is that I can keep acting and you've stopped crying!" He said in a theatrical voice while Todd looked confused.

"How did you know I had been crying?" He asked worriedly.

"Charlie heard you, but don't fear I'm not leaving you any time soon!" Neil said with a laugh. Todd walked over to his bed and got in.

"Good, otherwise I would have died."

"Died? Why would you have died?" Neil asked. Slowly, so Todd wouldn't notice before it was too late, he started making way over to the desk where Todd had left his turned over piece of paper. Unlike Todd thought, Neil had seen the way he tried to hide it and was wondering what Todd had been writing that he didn't want him to see.

"Boredom." Todd answered; he hadn't noticed that Neil was now only about a foot away from desk.

"You would still have had Captain, and the Dead Poets meetings." Neil pointed out, now only fifteen centimeters away.

"Yes, but without you Neil, how could I go on?" He said sarcastically, pretending to faint. Five centimeters away.

"Ah yes. I hadn't though of that." And then, swoop! Neil grabbed the paper as fast as he could. Todd jumped up in surprise and fear.

"No Neil, that's mine, give it back!"

"But it's poetry!"

"So? I don't want you to see it, its crap." Todd tried to make a grab for it but Neil jumped away, trying to read it.

"You say that about all your poetry; now stop trying to grab it so I can read it in peace!"

"Don't!" Todd almost yelled, getting frantic. Neil read bits and pieces when he could, it wasn't easy. Neil froze when he was done; Todd snatched it out of his hands.

"I told you it wasn't any good." Todd whispered, staring at his feet, suddenly feeling like he used to before he'd heard of Carpe Diem.

"It was, very good." Neil said after a while, pulling the poem back out of Todd's hands. Todd just let him, still staring at the ground like it held the answer to the meaning of life. Not that it would do him much good because after this he was sure he'd be killed, either of embarrassment or by getting beaten up. Neil read it through again; just to make sure he'd read it correctly. He had, he read it over and over again, not knowing what else he could do.

"Neil…"