Decisions
Sam looked at the letter sitting by his laptop. He just kept staring at it, but no matter what happened, it was still there. No matter what happened.
The formal insignia on the top right corner of the envelope lying by the letter made Sam almost rip the thing open when he first received it. He nervously flipped back the folds like so many times before and read…
Dear Mr. Sam Winchester,
It is with great pleasure that Stanford Law University invites you to join the class of 2011. We found your application and student transcript very impressive and your interview was very impressionable. Congratulations!
Enclosed you will find your campus guide, student directory, and student catalogue. Student orientation will take place on August 25th, 2006. A second letter will be sent to you for re-notification. Please be on campus by August 24.
Sincerely,
William Scott
Dean of Admissions, Stanford Law University
With hands shaking, Sam folded the letter back, his heart panging from the realization that his life hunting for whatever killed his loved ones was done. It was August 20, and he had had this letter since June. He had been on the fence for this decision since then.
It had been almost impossible for him to receive that letter in the first place; if it hadn't been for when he went back to his old apartment to get some things he'd forgotten when he first left.
He remembered making some excuse to Dean, saying that he was going to go visit Sarah in upstate New York.
He remembered Dean's cocked eyebrow and the way he nudged his shoulder suggestively and said, " 'Atta boy."
He remembered taking a different exit than the one he had told Dean he would take.
He remembered taking good care of the Impala, making sure there were no dents from accidentally hitting the door on something, or Dean would have his head.
He remembered walking into the Dean of Admission's office, thinking how cruel fate was for making that man's title the same name as his brother.
He remembered giving a stellar interview.
Most of all, though, he remembered betraying his brother's trust and going ahead with trying to become a lawyer.
"Hey, man." Dean said, striding through the door of the cheap motel room. They had some off time, and Dean had probably picked up some girl at a bar.
"Maybe you should spend some more time hunting than being with girls. I mean, it's not like you'll ever call them back-" Sam began.
"Whoah, whoah, whoah!" Dean cut him off, raising a hand, "You're not a very happy camper today."
"Blame the weather." The weather had been sleazy the past few days, Sam was happy he had an excuse.
"Since when has the weather stopped you?" Dean thought for a second, "Oh, wait it does! You looked miserable when you went to go see Sarah last spring. And I thought you would be happy that you were on your way to get some action!"
"Bite me." Sam replied quickly.
Dean chuckled, "Always with the biting, isn't it, Sammy?" He walked past the double bed where Sam was sitting and saw the letter by his laptop. Dean did a double take.
Sam noticed Dean staring and tried to grab the letter, but it was too late.
Dean swiped it and smiled, "Ha-ha."
Sam stood up to face Dean as he read the letter. As his eyes scanned the page, Sam could see his face falling, his bravado slowly faltering.
"What the hell is this?"
"It's a letter, Dean." Sam answered calmly.
"What the hell is it!" Dean waved the letter in the air.
"An acceptance letter, Dean." Sam pointed out.
"I'm not stupid, you know." Dean snapped, "When the hell did you get an interview…?" He trailed off, "It was when you said you were going to Sarah. You didn't look happy when you came back, you couldn't have done anything like that…"
"Well," Sam began as Dean continued to stare at letter hard, like he was trying to fix something as complicated as a rocket engine, "What do you think?"
"What do I think? What do I think?" Dean yelled, "What were you thinking? Were you just gonna disappear on the 23rd or something! Leave me here to look for Dad on my own!"
"No, Dean. It's not anything like that-"
"Don't you say that, Sam! You were gonna leave me. Dammit, you were gonna leave us- again!" Dean shouted, frustrated with his little brother, "I thought we were a family. A family, Sam. Doesn't that mean anything?"
"Dean, I…"
"Sam, no." He walked away for a second, his hand pressed to his forehead, clearly upset. "Do you think you're trying to save the world by being a lawyer? Can't you help people like this? By hunting? This is what you were born to do, Sammy."
"I know."
"Then why the hell are you leaving?"
"That's what I'm trying to say." Sam said slowly, "I'm not going, Dean. I'm staying right here. Right here, hunting with you." He smiled slowly.
Dean looked at his little brother. He saw the little worry lines running around his eyes, showing how much thought he put into this decision. Dean always thought Sam thought too much for a guy his age.
But the one thing he saw the most, the one thing that would stay there forever, was the meaning of the family to Sam. How he learned that no matter what, this family (and hunting, of course) was first. No matter what.