Disclaimer: Phew, I wish! Then I wouldn't be writing FAN fiction. In other words, nope.

The Parody of Romeo and Juliet
—Starring Robin and Raven—

A/N: We will be using the real characters names (like Romeo and Juliet) so it wouldn't be confusing who was who in the story. Here is a list of the whole cast:

Casting

The WatchMaiden (or Narrator) - Terra

House of the Masked Montagues:
Lord Montague: Batman
Lady Montague: Cat Woman
Romeo Montague: Robin
Benvolio Montague: Speedy

House of the Capulets of Craft:
Lord Capulet: Trigon
Lady Capulet: Arella
Juliet Capulet: Raven
Tybalt Capulet: Gizmo
Helena Capulet: Jinx

Nurse to Juliet: Starfire
Friar Lawrence: Cyborg
Mercutio: Beast Boy
Paris: Aqua Lad
Princess Wonder Woman: Herself... in her dreams
Apothecary: Poison Ivy

CHAPTER ONE
On the Streets of Jump City

The day was warm and young when the bickering started. It not only dominated the conversations, it dominated the streets. The arguing had become so extensive and violent, that if not stopped soon, lives would be taken as victim, the WatchMaiden explained.

Now, taking a morning stroll among the madness, Benvolio Montague, being as brave — or foolish — as he was, stepped onto the scene of uproar. Let us see how this plays out . . .

—

Benvolio drew out his arrows as warning to all. "Stop this fighting! It is stupid; pointless. The loss of lives to a quarrel is not brave nor justified. Does anyone here wish to die? Here? Now? At this very moment?"

The crowd now stood quiet, listening to the young man that had so much courage. "No? Then why do to others which you would not want done to you? Put down your tongues as you would a sword, or any weapon for that fact."

"Snot! What a load of garbage you just said! Look at thee, thou nincompoop. Thou hast thy weapons out, yet thou talks of peace. What is the word for that? Oh, yeah. Hypocrite! You snot-nosed flea-bag, I bet you cannot even shoot a rock off a wall at two yards!" Tybalt laughed vigorously at what he thought Benvolio would fail at.

"Does thou bet?"

"Hmph. I don't 'bet' with the lower people, Mister Nincompoop."

"So be it." Benvolio notched an arrow on his bow and shot, not at the intended wall, but another eleven paces away. There, by the paws of an orange-patched cat, he hit an empty can of Boo-Ya-Cola. "You should never underestimate your opponents."

"Opponent? You aren't even worth being my opponent. You're just a stinkin', snotty-faced, mama's pretty-boy! It was a fluke, no more than that."

"You really think I am pretty? I swoon at thy words, my sweet, short one."

Tybalt was furious. "Sweet? Short? I cannot believe you just said that. Get off your high horse an–"

"Yeah, a little high for you, buddy." A citizen shouted out and was followed by roars of laughter by the crowds that had accumulated.

"Draw thy arrows and fight, coward! And I shall show you just how 'sweet' I really am!" Tybalt yelled with cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

The WatchMaiden stood up on her rock and lowered it closer to the city, enjoying her view. This was going to be interesting. Tybalt blindly rushed into the battle while the crowd enveloped them closer as to ensure of no escape. With the crowd ranting, raving, and screaming 'Fight!' Benvolio shot his arrows in defense to Tybalt's assault of exploding mini missiles.

As the fighting gets more and more violent the Princess of Jump City soars elegantly down from the sky. She is furious with both the noble families. The WatchMaiden floated on her rock behind a large tree so she would not be seen by Princess Wonder Woman, but could still watch what was to occur.

"I don't believe my own eyes! It is the great and gorgeous Princess Wonder Woman!" A citizen cried out in the streets.

"Great Hera! What is going on here? Stop!" She says, "All thee enemies of peace! With my trusty Lasso of Truth and my Fists of Justice, I shall end hatred from all! Now sheathe thy swords and tongues and get you gone from here!"

Tybalt had been bored to his wits since their fight had been so rudely interrupted, now some interest shone forth, "Hey, but that means–"

Princess Wonder Woman continued, "That means put away all of thy gizmos and gadgets and whatsamahoozles!"

"Does she ever say anything without an exclamation mark?" Someone muttered from the crowd. Either Princess Wonder Woman did not hear, or she just plain ignored it.

Princess Wonder Woman said, "Three fights, now, have been brought into my streets by the Capulets of Craft and the Masked Montagues. If you ever disturb my streets again, you shall answer to my Lasso of Truth and my Fists of Justice!"

At that she soared off into the background, literally. Explained the WatchMaiden. Reports of a 'Crash, boom, Bang' have been noted to the proper authorities. When the Princess herself heard of this, she immediately denied herself crashing into and through the scenery. Now back to the rest of the 9:00 news. . . The WatchMaiden laughed at her joke.

Tybalt reluctantly turned to leave, but managed to stay just long enough to turn his head and tauntingly stick out his tongue at Benvolio (without too many people catching sight of it). Following that, everyone exits the scene except for Benvolio. He is awaiting someone. And that someone, his cousin Romeo, now approaches. Romeo is a handsome young lad, looking to be 16 years old and about 5 foot 3 in height. He has dark features and raven-like, spiky hair. His eyes are a cool blue and concealed under a simple mask. And, ladies, did I mention he has a well-conditioned physique?!

Benvolio smiled as Romeo leaned against the wall beside him. "Good morrow, cousin." Romeo held a look of sorrow in his eyes and he stared down at his boots. "Is the day so young?"

"It is just nine."

"What doth a person do when sadness keeps time from turning?"

Benvolio put a hand of encouragement on Romeo's shoulder. "What sadness keeps Romeo's time from turning? Are you in love?"

"Out of love!" Romeo exclaimed.

"What doth love do to thee, cousin?"

"Why does love torment the soul, so? My beloved Rosaline! She broke up with me! Said something about me being too obsessive and compulsive about things! What that means, I do not know. I think I'm a pretty nice guy! Do not thou think that I am nice?!"

"Thou art the nicest lad in all of Jump City. My advice to you is to forget her."

"Forget her? Pray, do tell, cousin. How does one learn to forget?"

"One can learn by finding better and more beauteous ones."

"Where, cousin? Where doth one find such an unmarveled beauty?"

Benvolio's eyes grew with excitement behind his mask, and he leapt onto the brick wall behind the two boys. "Why, tonight, at the Capulet Masquerade Ball! Thou will meet all kinds of chicks there! Thy beloved Rosaline will be there too, and thou can compare her to the other beauties." Romeo joined his comrade, doing an acrobatic somersault onto the wall. The two cousins laughed and high-fived each other before running through the Jump City streets.

—Fin—

A/N: And thus begins this highly ridiculous fan-fic. (It gets funnier, I promise!) MeLo-Chan and I have the next three chapters written and will upload them shortly. Chapter three is quite lengthy and chapter four is a bit long, too, so I won't burden you with a tremendous amount of reading all at once.

Signed,
Her Sappiness