Enough for Now
by Aqua
The blankets shifted and Sanzo felt the figure next to his own slide up against him. He exhailed the smoke in his lungs, not bothering to move as an arm wrapped around his chest. "I thought you were sleeping," he muttered quietly.
Tired golden eyes met his own, and he couldn't help a small chuckle. Goku looked completely worn out, although that wasn't really surprising considering how exerbertantly he'd performed just a few moments before. It was probably just stubbornness which kept the boy from sleeping now.
"Sanzo, can I stay with you forever?" Goku questioned.
Sanzo's smile disappeared at the tentive question. He didn't like thinking about the future, with how uncertain it was. He didn't like deep questions either, ones that made him think about himself in a manner he wasn't used to.
"You've been following me for this long, and now you ask?" he replied sarcastically.
"I'm serious," Goku whined, clinging to him even more.
"Why ask?" Sanzo replied, reaching toward the nightstand to put his cigarette out.
Goku was quiet for a moment, then sighed. "Your behaviour to me hasn't changed since we got together. Even now, when we do stuff like this, you treat me the same. I... it hurts me, that you don't seem to care. I just want to know that this is real, that it means something to you."
Sanzo nodded a little, knowing it was true. He wasn't a person who showed affection well. It wasn't something he was good at. However, he hadn't realized it bothered Goku so much. Sanzo did have feelings for him, although he wasn't about to explore them too deeply. When their relationship had become physical, he hadn't bothered to think about what it might mean to Goku.
Well, that wasn't intirely true. He hadn't wanted to. What if it meant more than he was prepared to let it? Which brought him to the question, what did it mean?
"I don't do things I don't want to," he stated.
Goku shook his head. "But it could just be sex to you!" he exclaimed. Placing his head onto Sanzo's chest, he kissed a random spot before speaking again. "It means everything to me. I love you, Sanzo. I couldn't bear it if this was nothing but sex for you."
Taking the youth's chin in his hand, Sanzo looked into the golden eyes of his lover. "It's not just that," he assured.
"Promise?"
"Don't expect more out of me than I can give you, Goku. But don't ever think it's just sex. You mean more to me than that."
Goku studied his eyes for a moment, then nodded and cuddled up against him, apparently satisfied with that answer. Sanzo knew he would have to give the youth more than that one day. Perhaps he'd be able to say 'I love you' some day. For now, it was enough as it was.
Owari
by Aqua
The blankets shifted and Sanzo felt the figure next to his own slide up against him. He exhailed the smoke in his lungs, not bothering to move as an arm wrapped around his chest. "I thought you were sleeping," he muttered quietly.
Tired golden eyes met his own, and he couldn't help a small chuckle. Goku looked completely worn out, although that wasn't really surprising considering how exerbertantly he'd performed just a few moments before. It was probably just stubbornness which kept the boy from sleeping now.
"Sanzo, can I stay with you forever?" Goku questioned.
Sanzo's smile disappeared at the tentive question. He didn't like thinking about the future, with how uncertain it was. He didn't like deep questions either, ones that made him think about himself in a manner he wasn't used to.
"You've been following me for this long, and now you ask?" he replied sarcastically.
"I'm serious," Goku whined, clinging to him even more.
"Why ask?" Sanzo replied, reaching toward the nightstand to put his cigarette out.
Goku was quiet for a moment, then sighed. "Your behaviour to me hasn't changed since we got together. Even now, when we do stuff like this, you treat me the same. I... it hurts me, that you don't seem to care. I just want to know that this is real, that it means something to you."
Sanzo nodded a little, knowing it was true. He wasn't a person who showed affection well. It wasn't something he was good at. However, he hadn't realized it bothered Goku so much. Sanzo did have feelings for him, although he wasn't about to explore them too deeply. When their relationship had become physical, he hadn't bothered to think about what it might mean to Goku.
Well, that wasn't intirely true. He hadn't wanted to. What if it meant more than he was prepared to let it? Which brought him to the question, what did it mean?
"I don't do things I don't want to," he stated.
Goku shook his head. "But it could just be sex to you!" he exclaimed. Placing his head onto Sanzo's chest, he kissed a random spot before speaking again. "It means everything to me. I love you, Sanzo. I couldn't bear it if this was nothing but sex for you."
Taking the youth's chin in his hand, Sanzo looked into the golden eyes of his lover. "It's not just that," he assured.
"Promise?"
"Don't expect more out of me than I can give you, Goku. But don't ever think it's just sex. You mean more to me than that."
Goku studied his eyes for a moment, then nodded and cuddled up against him, apparently satisfied with that answer. Sanzo knew he would have to give the youth more than that one day. Perhaps he'd be able to say 'I love you' some day. For now, it was enough as it was.
Owari